Friday, March 22, 2013

My "must read" list (fiction)

I recently wrote an article about one of my favorite contemporary novelists, Gene Wolfe, at the Speculative Faith blog. This spun out into one of my friends, Becky, saying that she didn't think there should be a "must read" list of books, and then DM Dutcher responding to that and Becky responding to that, which brought me finally to writing this post. While I don't think there's such a thing as a "must read" list, there are certain authors who have changed the way I look at the world, showed me what's possible in fiction and inspired me to do better work. I thought it would be fun to share some of those, why they are important to me, and invite you to check out the ones that interest you.

These aren't in any specific order. Looking forward to your thoughts.

Gene Wolfe's Book of the New Sun (now packaged as Shadow  and Claw and Sword and Citadel). If you click on the first link in this post, you'll get a whole article about Wolfe. I read the Book of the New Sun and loved it. It's a beautiful science fantasy about a young torturer who grows up to (possibly?) be the savior of the world in the far future. Wolfe writes highly literate, complicated, baroque fiction with clear, profound Christian underpinnings. His work can be read over and over, and his short stories are often genius. I've read nearly everything the guy has written and here's the main thing I've learned from Wolfe: there's no such thing as a secular bias against Christian work, or if there is, it can be overcome and, in fact, smashed to bits by making compelling art.



John Steinbeck's East of Eden. My wife suggested I read this, and I completely balked. For one, it had a made-for-TV cover on it, and, secondly, I associated Steinbeck with Faulkner (who I do not enjoy). But this book is amazing. It's the multi-generational saga of two branches of one family... one representing Cain and the other Abel and wrestling with this question: Has God commanded us to overcome sin? Or assured us it can be done? Or told us that sin must win out in the end despite our attempts to the contrary. It's a book about being human, and it's beautiful. I re-read it every 20 months or so, and I enjoy it more each time. The main thing I learned from East of Eden: the story of humanity is compelling, and when explored honestly it sheds light not only on who we are, but who we could be.

Glen David Gold's Carter Beats the Devil. I don't recall how I came across this book, but it's absolutely delightful. Part historical, part romance, part comedy, part tragedy, but all gorgeously written with a light, deft hand. The plot moves along, it's clearly written and it's emotionally evocative. It hits all the right notes, in other words, and reflects the human experience with humor and pathos while also being about a magician and his lady love and his pet lion. Gold taught me that a book could be light in tone and profound in meaning... that literature need not choose between high and low brow. And it just made me grin a lot throughout.

Kurt Vonnegut. I won't list just one of his books, as it's more Vonnegut's books as a whole that changed something in me. I read and enjoyed Slaughterhouse-Five (his most famous book), a humorous satire about the Allies killing innocent civilians in World War 2. Yeah, you read that right. But probably my favorite book of his is Cat's Cradle, a book that takes swipes at government, religion and war in a spectacularly hilarious way. It invents its own religion and has a nearly-nameless protagonist who finds love, religion and political influence mostly by blundering into them. Vonnegut taught me that satire can and should be funny, and that when your reader is laughing you can slip the knife in their gut and they don't really mind. This insight has come in handy in my own writing career when I wrote My Imaginary Jesus.

Percival Everett's Big Picture. Percival Everett gets under my skin. Every book he writes I either love or hate. There's no middle ground. One of the ones I love is Big Picture. It's a collection of short stories that weave together in unexpected ways, that I'm not even sure were written to weave together and yet they do. It's haunting and draws a portrait of human beings that is rich, keenly observed and almost painful at times. If you read Big Picture and like it (I think you will), I'll give you the list of my favorite Everett books (of which there are plenty). Percival was one of my professors at UC Riverside once upon a time, and he taught me plenty in the classroom as well as on the page. One thing I've learned from his work: you don't have to go searching for comedy, there's plenty already out there in the midst of this messed up world. You just have to keep your eyes open and write what you see. Big Picture is, apparently, out of print, so you'll have to buy it used.

C.S. Lewis's Till We Have Faces. It's a requirement as a Bible believin' Eeeeeevanjelicul that I love C.S. Lews. And I do. I love him a lot. I first read the Narnia books when I was about seven and since then I've read everything the man has written, down to the fragments of novels and half-written short stories. When it comes to his fiction, I have three favorites. Till We Have Faces, The Great Divorce and Perelandra. I still like the Narnia books (especially The Last Battle... and my own Sword of Six Worlds is unquestionably influenced by him), but Till We Have Faces is far and away my most beloved. Maybe because it's the only time that he adapted an actual myth (Psyche and Cupid), or maybe because it's the most intensely emotional fiction he wrote, but it's one I enjoy without reservation, and that shows God clearly, without ever talking about God. I learned in this book that it's okay (even admirable) for Christian books to wrestle with the hardest questions in the faith, to do it honestly and not to shy away from the most difficult conclusions and that then, like in life, those questions can lead the reader toward truth.

Peter Ackroyd's The Plato Papers. This strange, slight little book brings me immense pleasure. It's a satire of the 20th century's philosophies, science and historical methods, all set 17 centuries in our future, as our descendants try to make sense of the strange little world they uncover beneath modern London. The main character, Plato, holds lectures where he explains and lauds 20th century culture, with wonderful lectures that involve things like explaining how the ancient novelist and humorist Charles D had many interesting works, the most hilarious of which was "The Origin of the Species." It's also a retelling of the ancient Grecian Plato's life in some sense, which brings a complexity and feeling of familiarity to a very strange world. I've read this maybe ten times and it makes me laugh each time. This book taught me that strange doesn't mean inaccessible, and that sometimes an author can write about his deepest, most personal interests without thinking too much of his audience, and they will not only understand it, but enjoy it. Having that knowledge in the back of my head, of course, made it a little easier to feel that I could write Night of the Living Dead Christian and that, despite the zombies, werewolves and vampires, people could still enjoy the comedy and spiritual teachings in it.

G.K. Chesterton's The Napoleon of Notting Hill. Chesterton is another favorite who, in general, I like pretty much everything the man wrote. I came to him through C.S. Lewis, directly to The Man Who Was Thursday. The Father Brown mysteries are particular favorites, but when I read The Napoleon of Notting Hill I saw something amazing. It starts as a slapstick comedy set in a not-too-distant future where the King of England is chosen by a lottery system and it just happens to fall to a man who is more jester than king. He takes it upon himself to make fun of everyone by creating an invented history, complete with costumes and theme songs and flags, for every neighborhood in London, and much of the humor of the novel comes from the wacky things he does in this process. Then, suddenly, halfway through the book, a shift takes place and the book moves into a deadly serious, almost Shakespearean war book. One of the characters who has been seen, mostly, as the butt of the King's jokes becomes the hero of the novel, and what seemed like a slight diversion of a slightly satirical novel becomes a serious reflection on war and remembrance and what makes things holy. It's an amazing feat, and surprisingly rare in modern literature. This marriage of comedy and tragedy taught me that the walls of genre and categorization are thinner than we think, and can be manipulated deftly to avoid the reader feeling cheated, and simultaneously providing an experience that couldn't be achieved in one genre alone.

Frederick Buechner's Son of Laughter. I haven't read all of Buechner's books yet, but I'm working my way through. Each book is a sumptuous meal, and should be enjoyed slowly, relishing each page. He's a marvelous writer, describes action subtly and can put pieces in place that look like set decorations but are actually accumulating to an emotional payoff later in the story, for the characters as well as the reader. Son of Laughter is a book about the Biblical Jacob, son of Isaac, and it tells the story of Jacob and, to a lesser extent, his father and grandfather in a powerful and almost cinematic way. There were moments when I would think, "This part isn't in the Bible" and would go look it up and it was. He brings things to life that powerfully... seemingly unimportant comments in scripture would turn out to be of central importance to the people living the tales. Buechner teaches me that it's okay to breathe life and detail into the Bible, because that life and detail are already there for the watchful eye to uncover, and a fictional account can be more compelling than a hundred commentaries if done well.

FLANNERY O'CONNOR FOREVER! The Complete Stories is everything you need. It's not an exaggeration that I Love Flannery. I tried to convince my wife to name our last child Flannery, which was quickly vetoed. Her novels are amazing. Her stories are inescapably brilliant. I honestly think that "A Good Man Is Hard to Find" is one of the best short stories in the English language. "Parker's Back" is, bar none, the best example of the mystical experience of Christ being rejected by the religious Christian that I've seen anywhere outside of real life. When I read Flannery's work I feel like an apprentice painter standing next to Michelangelo. She's unflinching in her portrayal of the real world, unreservedly Christian and a professional artist to the point of absolute perfection in her work. I don't know that I can list one thing I've learned from her without it being a disservice to how monumental she is, but I will give it a try. Flannery O'Connor taught me that the job of the Christian artist is to look at the world without flinching, and to present it as honestly as possible. She believes (and this is clear in her work) that even the most grotesque things in this world point us toward Christ.

Necessarily, in making a list like this, most books sprang to mind as I wrote. What about Lord of the Flies! Watership Down! The Brothers Karamazov (the greatest Christian novel of all time)! And yes, these are all great books, but I have to stop somewhere. And while the first two impacted me enormously, the books on this list did more so. And the Brothers Karamazov is still working on me... I'm not sure what the end result will be, it's still in process.

What do you think? Have you read any of these? What did you think? WHAT'S ON YOUR MUST READ LIST? I'd love to find some new books to explore at your recommendation.


Thursday, March 21, 2013

Creativity, Limitations and the Gospel


As you know, I'm on staff with Cru, a non-profit Christian organization and a caring community passionate about connecting people to Jesus Christ. I recently wrote an article for the Cru staff web, which you can't read because it's behind a password protected wall. I thought you might enjoy it so I'm republishing it here. I've written a follow up article about failure and the Gospel and have one more coming about criticism and the Gospel, which will eventually make their way here. You will likely also be able to find them on CruPress Green. Obviously, this was written for Cru staff so there's some in-house jargon. If you have questions, leave a comment and I'll explain.
Paintings have edges, stories have endings, plays have a final curtain. Limits define creativity and make it more vibrant. Our limitations are the first and possibly greatest allies to our creativity, whether in life, in the arts, or in sharing the gospel. As T.S. Eliot said, "When forced to work within a strict framework the imagination is taxed to its utmost – and will produce its richest ideas. Given total freedom the work is likely to sprawl."
Designer John Maeda says, "With more constraints, better solutions are revealed."
If we’re honest with ourselves, sometimes we need greater creativity as we present the gospel. It could be we are working with a new population or with a culture that has shifted beyond the idea of a “presentation” at all. While we should not too quickly abandon those expressions of the gospel which the Holy Spirit continues to use, likewise, we shouldn't limit new attempts at creative expression of the gospel.
There are practical and logistical limitations as well – time frames, organizational policies, our target audience's availability or emotional capacity, legal issues or a hundred other things you experience each day in your ministry.Our first and greatest limitation on our creativity is the gospel itself. As we embrace new techniques and attempt innovative outreaches, we cannot sacrifice orthodoxy. The truths of the gospel remain the same regardless of how we choose to communicate them.
The trick in creativity is to allow these barriers to invigorate and empower our creativity rather than backing away from them.
Imagine, for instance, that you come across a man who is blind and illiterate, lives in another state from you and comes from a Buddhist background. You met on an airplane and he wants you to interact with him about the gospel. The solution you come up with will be unique and creative, driven by the particular limitations of how to share the gospel with this individual.
Many of the innovations in Cru's history have been driven by limitations. Whether it's Dr. Bright moving "God loves you" to the beginning of his gospel presentation (limitation: people were turned off starting a conversation by hearing they were going to Hell), or the advent of the JESUS film (limitation: Hollywood wasn't taking the Biblical text seriously), or Josh McDowell first translating his materials (limitation: it turns out many Russians spoke Russian).
Here are a few exercises that may help you try something new and creative with the gospel:
  1. Whatever is your favorite gospel tool (whether the Romans Road or the Knowing God Personally booklet or something else), "retire" it for a few weeks and try something different.
  2. Create your own "gospel tool." Remember, we're going for creativity, not necessarily transferability. Don't be afraid to try something crazy.
  3. Have everyone on your team sit in a circle and deal out 4 cards each from the Soularium tool. In the order you received your cards, go through and show how you could connect each picture to the 4 points of "Knowing God Personally."
  4. Pick the most difficult to reach subculture you can think of. Spend some time with someone from that group and try to come up with a way to share the gospel that is specific to that person and their subculture.
  5. Create a gospel presentation that uses no words. Then one that only uses questions.
  6. Write out a gospel presentation that never uses any of these words: grace, sin, redemption, resurrection, propitiation, sacrifice, crucifixion, wage, separated, decision, gift.
Don't be afraid of failure, that's part of creativity (and something we'll talk about in another article).

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Wonderful Wednesday: Sometimes doing things backwards is cool

This Israeli filmmaker made a video by walking backwards. It's pretty rad:



Check out more Wonderful Wednesday. You can even read them backwards if you want.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

All of Josh Garrel's music for FREE!

Here's the song that made me a fan. It's a live recording so sound quality could be better. But it's an amazing song, and the reason I put this album on my Christmas list:



For the next ten days all of Josh's music is free. If you choose to "tip" the artist he is donating all the money to World Relief in the Congo.



Enjoy! And you're welcome.

And don't forget, Page CXVI and the Autumn Film are also giving away their music for free right now!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Life of Magnum Pi

My friend Shelby Abbott and I were talking about his mustache the other day and I told him about this idea for a funny short film I had called, "LIFE OF MAGNUM PI." He tweeted it out and Brady Green made this amazing poster for it.


Coming to a theatre near you. Hollywood, our operators are standing by for your phone call offering millions of dollars. I am willing to go as low as two million dollars.

StoryMen with author Julianna Baggott is live!


Julianna Baggott is the author of Pure and Fuse, the first two installments in a post-apocalyptic, dystopian trilogy of novels with strong religious themes and beautiful writing. She graciously appeared on the StoryMen podcast and I can speak for JR. and Clay when I say we found her charming, interesting, insightful and entertaining.

You will, too.

Here's a link to the show, which includes links to all of Julianna's sites. Our facebook fan page. Or, download it on iTunes.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Wonderful Wednesday: Giant Salamanders

Once I went to an aquarium in Asia and was surprised to find a pool full of "Hellbenders." Giant salamanders. And I mean GIANT. They can be up to five feet long. They're amazing creatures. In China, people say that they will make a call like a baby, trying to lure people into the swamps. Creepy.

Here's some info about the Japanese version:



And here is recent video from some researchers who say that the salamanders use their jaws to create suction to pull fish into their mouths.

Pretty neat!

More Wonderful Wednesday awaits.

Friday, March 08, 2013

This Fat Kitty exercises by swimming

I've been trying to get in shape lately, which means I've been exercising regularly and trying to eat (slightly) less snack food.

But then there's this cat, who only weighs thirteen pounds, trying to lose weight by swimming. It's a funny sight. Funny enough that the newscaster can't keep it together until the end of the article:



 I just used a laser pointer to exercise our cats. But I guess if I had a kitty life vest I would have considered this.

Thursday, March 07, 2013

Seven years worth of free music from Page CXVI and The Autumn Film

My dear, talented friends Page CXVI are currently giving away every song they've ever recorded because they have decided to give up making money for Lent (not really... it's to celebrate their bandiversary). That's seven years worth of beautifully re-imagined hymns from Page CXVI as well as their original music as the band The Autumn Film. The seventh year is the "Jubilee" year, and in honor of that they are giving all their songs away for free. Go get them!

They've also just released this fun animated video of one of the songs from their "Lullabies" album:



And, if you're unfamiliar with the band, here's a beautiful version of "Joy" that I've always been partial to:



You can read about why Tifah re-wrote the song this way here. It's a really powerful song.

I don't know what you're waiting for... go get the music. And tell them that Matt sent you. And that he says hi and everything.

Wednesday, March 06, 2013

Wonderful Wednesday: The Cat Map




The London Zoo has created an interactive tool where you can list your cat on a world map. You can click around the world and see where kitties live and what their names are. The names of cats in Eastern Europe are particularly enjoyable. Have fun!

Now we just need a coyote tracker so I can keep my kitties safe.

More Wonderful Wednesday.

Monday, March 04, 2013

StoryMen episode eight



The new StoryMen podcast went live Friday.

I was sick when this one was recorded, but it has Dallas Jenkins as the special guest/Mikalatos stand-in, and of course Clay and JR were still on the show.




Thursday, February 28, 2013

Rad water jet pack

Wait. This is real? Did I fall asleep and wake up in the future?



THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE TO KNOW WHEN I WAS LIVING WITH THAT POD OF DOLPHINS!

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

How Sesame Street is Undermining Biblical Values

I was surprised to see last week's article by Owen Strachan talking about an episode of Sesame Street in which Baby Bear (who is male) plays with a baby doll. Telly the monster tells Baby Bear this is dumb, but resident wise sage Gordon tells him it's okay. Like this:

Baby Bear: It’s a doll 
Gordon: So?!
Baby Bear: So…Gordon…I’m a boy, and dolls are for girls!
Gordon: Says who?

Strachan explains that this is the undermining of Protestant values, because boys shouldn't be taught to play with dolls, and that after this confusing message from Gordon, Baby Bear needs the Gospel.

While I sympathize with Strachan's concern that boys might grow up to be nurturing fathers, both he and Sesame Street are missing the point.

The fact is, Baby Bear should not be playing with baby dolls. He is a bear. And socializing him with humans (let alone human babies) can only bring grief.

I know, you might think I'm overreacting, but the Bible is very clear on the role of bears in human relationships. They are meant to be voracious killing machines. I mean, the ONE COMMAND God gives specifically to bears is to "Arise and devour much flesh." This attempt to anthropomorphize and humanize bears strikes at the heart of everything the gospel teaches about bears.

If Sesame Street hadn't completely capitulated to heretical ursine views, the conversation between Baby Bear and Gordon should have gone something like this:

Baby Bear: It’s a doll.
Gordon: So?!
Baby Bear: So…Gordon…I’m a boy, and dolls are for girls!
Gordon: No, you're not a boy. You're male, but boys are human. You're a male bear cub. Now put that doll down and tear into it with your teeth. That's right, really rip into it. Pull the head off... good! Good bear! Now go for the entrails!

Or, even more correct:

Baby Bear: Grrrr.
Gordon: A baby bear? Here in New York City? I'm calling Animal Control!
Baby Bear: Rawr!
Gordon: Ahhh! Stop with the biting! Ahhhh! Why won't it listen? Is it a boy or a girl bear? Ahhhh! 

I, for one, take this issue seriously in my family and at the organization I head up, The Council on Biblical Interactions Between Humans and Animals.

In fact, because of Teddy Roosevelt's (the Dutch Reformed Episcopalian President) undermining of the scriptural role of bears in the family, I have been training my own children in the godly way to interact with bears. I include a few instructive photos here for all the parents:

One, teach your child that cuddling her teddy bear is not appropriate. Should she come across a real bear, the bears would either smother her when they roll over, or possibly eat her.

And don't get me started on the "rainbow" bear.

Second, kissing bears is right out. They will eat your face off. Do not allow your children to kiss their teddy bears.

Especially don't kiss bears named "Pooh."
There's a reason they're called that.

This is the correct way to play with teddy bears (or any bears at all). Lay on the ground, roll into a ball and play dead. Even if they are leaning in close to your face, about to take a big bite.

This looks easy, but is much harder with real bears.
Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should one attempt to lift a bear by its hind legs. You will probably get a hernia and/or be swiped by its claws, smashed beneath it, eaten or mauled.

In real life, that paint-spattered bear would be
devouring much flesh, just as God intended.

I've also taught all three of my daughters this helpful proverb: "Never go to a teddy bear picnic because you just might be on the menu."

You can see what others are saying about this conversation in a variety of places:

My friend Caryn Rivadeneira's thoughts.
Some thoughts from a preschool teacher. (ETA: Oops. Kristen is not a preschool teacher. She's a paralegal But it's still a good read.)
Rachel Held Evans has a good post where people from both sides of the question are having a civil conversation on the topic.

There are a bunch more out there, too. No one mentions the bear angle, but that's why you come here... FOR HARD HITTING JOURNALISM THAT ISN'T AFRAID TO CALL IT LIKE IT IS!

Now, in the comments: How are you preparing YOUR children for the coming Bearpocalypse?

Eavesdropping With Matt Episode Sixty-Seven (Great Date Conversations)

This episode of Eavesdropping with Matt is dedicated to the old couple out on a date at a local restaurant, who spoke very loudly to one another so I could hear everything they had to say, including when the old lady apparently visited a "gynecologist for women" and "had her blood pressure taken." Here's part of their "getting to know you" conversation.

 
Lady: I'd like to go to confession.

Man: Why? What do you have to confess?

Lady: Plenty.

Man: Like what?

Lady: Oh, you know. I don't go to church as often as I'm able to go to church. But you know what? I'm seventy-one. So maybe I get a pass on that one. And if not... ABSOLVE ME!

More Eavesdropping with Matt.

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Rollin' Safari

I'm in meetings all day today. This should keep you jackals busy:

These were all made for the ITFS festival coming up in April!

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Upside Downton Abbey

For those of you who are missing your weekly episode of Downton Abbey tonight:

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Saturday Lesson on Hipsters

This video was sent to me by Shelby Abbott. Which means that it is good. Enjoy.

So. Are you a hipster?

Friday, February 22, 2013

StoryMen Episode VII: An Even Newer Hope



The new episode of StoryMen with me, JR. and Clay is live. This week we talk about the anniversary of Jerry Falwell suing Hustler Magazine, Megan Phelps leaving the Westboro Baptist Church, the Pope's resignation and the new Star Wars movies!

Here's our facebook fan page. Or you can download or subscribe at iTunes.


The invisible driver at the drive thru prank

I showed this video to my ten year old (A) last night and she immediately asked, "Dad, can we do that?" The answer, my child, is no. Because I'm your father, that's why.



Also, we are not ghosts.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

It's hard not to love this picture forever


This year at the Epicenter Conference I mentioned how I ride a unicorn to work every day under a double rainbow and someone went and found this photographic evidence of my daily routine. Look out for those other two unicorns, they're missing their drivers!

Feel free to leave comments about how much you love this picture anywhere on the scale from one to five rainbows.

Also, if you would like animate this as a gif, there ain't nobody gonna stop you.

40 Day Fast: a collection of all the posts

Several people have asked me recently about my 40 day fast (a juice fast, meaning no food, just water and fruit juices) from the summer before last. I thought it might be good to make a post that would show you where you could find information about my experience during those 40 days.

I've put some notes by the posts I think are most interesting if you don't want to read 40 days of "Wow, I'm really tired and I keep forgetting stuff and I'm really tired. Also let me repeat a story I told you yesterday."


MY MOTIVATION: 40 day fast: Why would you do that?

BEFORE YOU FAST, READ THIS: Some excellent reasons not to fast.

Day 32 has a bibliography that you may find useful, as well.

Day 1.

2

3 When you're fasting but sitting in on communal meals.

4

5

6

7 Seems like I was getting a little irritable after a week of no food.

8 Don't necessarily expect a bush to catch on fire and God to speak out of it just because you're fasting.

9

10 Food God.

11

12 Processed vs. organic theology

13

14

15

16

17 Gauging your emotions: overreacting while fasting.

18

19

20 Halfway there!

21

22

23 In which I mess up trying to take a day with the Lord.

24 The true purpose of fasting.

25

26

27 Here's an honest post about how bad you feel during the fast sometimes.

28

29

30

31 Is there a big decision on the horizon?

32 A HELPFUL BIBLIOGRAPHY of fasting books and resources (with notes on each book).

33

34

35

36 Fasting together in community.

37 The discipline of God's presence.

38 "After 40 days he was hungry." Some thoughts about Jesus fasting in the wilderness.

39

40  Meeting with God on the last day of the fast at Mt. St. Helens. Also, Bigfoot. No, really.

And, for a "last laugh": A year and a half later and I can't fit into my "fasting pants."



Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Wonderful Wednesday: Snookles the Baby Dragon

I can't believe I finally found this. I've been looking for it on the internet for years. I first saw it in my short film class in college (1993? 94?) and have always remembered it fondly.

Now it will be burned into your memory. Behold... Snookles the baby dragon!

Wonderful Wednesday: Bambi Meets Godzilla

I first saw this classic bit of short film genius when I was in a college film class. Enjoy. More Wonderful Wednesday here.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Now I Wish I Knew How To Play The Flute

What makes you cool? It is what you do? No. It's how you do it.



Stay tuned for videos of me learning to beat box tuba.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Is Portlandia real?

When the TV show Portlandia first came out, I was surprised that people outside of Portland had never heard of it, especially my favorite sketch "Put a Bird On It."

Now it seems that wherever I travel, when people hear I'm from Portland they ask me if I've heard of the show and they always ask, "Is it true?"

Here's a part of last week's show, lampooning the high end movie theaters here in town called "Cinetopia."



Is it real?

Pretty much. Cinetopia is real (although the first one was in Vancouver, where there are now two... and there's one in Beaverton, but none in North Portland... part of the joke, I suspect, is referring to Vancouver as "North Portland").

Yes, they have full food menus, which can be delivered to you in the theater. There are about six different "artisan" toppings you can choose from for your popcorn. Waiters will come into the theater to take your order and deliver your food (hopefully not once the movie has started).

So, for all of you from somewhere else who want to know, "Is Portlandia real?"

Yeah. Pretty much.

Come visit.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Gordon MacDonald speaking in Portland this weekend


This weekend at my church, former pastor, seminary chancellor and author Gordon MacDonald will be speaking. Gordon MacDonald is probably best known for his book, Ordering Your Private World
.
Services at 5:30 tonight and and 8:30 and 10:30 tomorrow morning.

See you there!

Thursday, February 14, 2013

We should all try to get on this reality show

You guys. We should all apply for this. I, for one, will not be satisfied unless at least one of my friends is on this show. AND IF WE ALL GET ON THE SHOW WE CAN TEAM UP AND CALL OURSELVES THE SCOOBY GANG. So take five minutes and send this email now:
Whodunnit? Are you a budding Sherlock Holmes looking to put your amateur crime solving skills to the test? Do you always figure out the ending before everybody else? Have you always seen yourself as the main character in mystery novels? From one of the creators of CSI, Anthony Zuiker, and 51 Minds comes a brand new mystery reality competition for ABC. We are currently scouring the nation for armchair detectives, perceptive problem solvers or anyone who believes they have the mental acuity to go up against other like-minded sleuths for $250,000. This show is for everybody from ex-detectives who've solved crimes all their lives, to a mother of three who has to figure out when her children are lying or where they hid her keys. If you or anyone you know fits the mold of an ASPIRING GUMSHOE then APPLY today. You MUST be at least 21 years old and a legal US resident to be eligible. Email us at WhodunnitCasting@gmail.com - include name, age, brief description of yourself, why you think you would be a great crime solver and two (2) recent photos. Make the subject line your current city and state. All submissions become property of producer. Good luck.
Okay. Get it done, people.

Monday, February 11, 2013

All five of the Oscar-nominated animated shorts for 2013

I thought you would enjoy seeing all five of this year's Oscar-nominated short animated films. I think there's a clear winner here, but I'd love to see if you agree in the comments!  You can watch all five of these in a total of about half an hour.

This first one I can only find with an auto-play feature which I find annoying, so you can watch it here. The Simpson's with "The Longest Daycare." Maggie is growing up so fast.

Next is Disney's "Paperman" which apparently screened with Wreck It Ralph. This is all computer animated, but it's made to look like traditional cartoons.



Fresh Guacamole. I can honestly say that my guacamole looks better to eat than this one.



Adam and Dog.  A really cute idea. It's weird, but I was actually thinking about this yesterday before I saw the video... that Adam probably really liked the dog in the Garden of Eden.



"Head Over Heels" is a movie about relationships. Interesting.



So, what do you think? Who's going to win that golden statue this year?


Friday, February 08, 2013

Rock, Paper, Scissors, redux

My friend Shawn Cramer sent me this video, exploring the difficulties of rock, paper, scissor logic.



Favorite line: "Now you are an origami swan or something."

Thursday, February 07, 2013

Listen to Buechner's lecture about the Gospel as Fairy Tale

One of my favorite spiritual books of all time is Frederick Beuchner's Telling the Truth: The Gospel as Tragedy, Comedy, and Fairy Tale. I've read it a lot of times, and I always enjoy it and am moved by it.

I discovered last week that one of the lectures it's based on is available as audio online. It's well worth your time.

Beecher Lectures: "Gospel as Fairy Tale" | Frederick Buechner Center

You are welcome.

Monday, February 04, 2013

My three year old drew this on the computer


I thought it was pretty cool. Because I am her father.

The new Storymen podcast is up and running!

If you've been following along, this is episode 6 of the podcast from yours truly and Clay Morgan and JR. Forasteros.

Our special guest star this week is M.S. Corley!

It's a fun show, and the first one in which we do not in any way mention wolves. Excellent.


Friday, February 01, 2013

I love the Internet a lot because it makes me laugh

I thought this video of a woman talking about cats on a dating site was pretty hilarious. I mean... she loves cats A LOT.



But the Internet can make anything funnier:



I love you, Internet.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

Eavesdropping with Matt (Episode Sixty-Six: Viva La Old Men)

Dedicated to the two old men who were having lunch together at Burger King yesterday.

Old Man #1: So I go by Mike's house and what do you think I see in his yard?

Old Man #2: I have no idea.

Old Man #1: A bunch of Mexicans. When they saw me they ran and jumped over the fence. Because they were about to break into Mike's house.

Old Man #2: You don't know that. Maybe you just scared them.

Old Man #1: Oh yeah? What do YOU think they were doing there?

Old Man #2: I don't know. Maybe they were Mike's yard and garden crew.

If you'd like more insight into the amazing things people say when they don't know I'm listening, be sure to check out more Eavesdropping with Matt.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Documentary about Bad Writing

Great content. One of my favorite things is that the guy in charge of the documentary forces great writers to read his super crappy poetry.

FYI, some of the language in the documentary is neither clean nor edifying. It's mostly fine, but it has moments that may offend.

 

Via Flavorwire.

My four talks from the Epicenter Conference

This year I spoke at three different student winter conferences, and all three were great... a lot of fun, awesome conversations with students and fun times with staff. The most recent one was a couple weekends ago in Albany, New York, called Epicenter.

One of the fun things about this particular conference is that they let me do a series of talks all focused on telling stories about/by Jesus in a 21st century context. It was the first time I had done those sorts of talks all together, and it was a lot of fun. I thought I'd put them all in one place here, so you could see them if you like.


Here's the first one, talking about what it means to follow Jesus (from Luke 5). If you're one of the Minions around here at BHR, you've likely heard this talk or something like it before:


Talk two, retells some familiar parables from Luke 15:



 Talk three is a new one. I don't want to give away the surprise topic, but it starts with me reading a story. This video is the entire session, including worship and announcements and so on. If you just want to see the talk only, it starts at about 55:30 and ends at 01:27:47.



 And this, my last talk, retells the story of the Good Samaritan. Enjoy!

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

A Man Without A Mustache is Like A Woman With One

I found this little gem of a song while helping Krista get ready for her seminary class she teaches. No, really!

It's official

Here's me, typing out this blog post.
This weekend my church voted on making me an elder for the next two years.

My ten-year-old said, "When you're officially an elder, you'll officially be old."

I told her that it wasn't official yet, because the vote hadn't been taken or tallied yet.

But, actually, now it has, so I guess it's official.

-- Old Man Mikalatos

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Dolphin asks for help from a diver


This is a really amazing news report on a dolphin who asked some divers for help to remove some fishing line he had become caught in. At one point, the dolphin has to surface for air, and then comes back to the diver to allow him to finish cutting the fishing line away.

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Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Theology with three year olds

My three year old, M, wanted to talk theology this morning.

M: Dad, God made holes.

Me: Oh yeah?

M: Yes. You can fall into them.

Me: Oh.

M: BUT. He also made houses. If you go inside houses you won't fall into holes.

Me: I see.

M: God made holes. But he also made houses.

Friday, January 18, 2013

Speaking at Epicenter 2013 tonight and this weekend

Hi everybody!

I'm in Albany, NY right now, where I'll be speaking at the Epicenter conference. It will be livecast, so for those who want to hang out and watch the conference FROM THE COMFORT OF YOUR OWN HOME you can totally do that because this is the 21st century.

For those of you who are Level 1 Minions here at BHR and have seen all my talks ever no matter where I give them, some of this material (BUT NOT ALL) may be a repeat.

In any case, HERE'S THE LIVECAST LINK.

And here are the sessions I'm speaking in:

Talk one is tonight, Friday, starting at 7 p.m. Eastern, and I'll be talking about Jesus... why people follow him and how Simon Peter, particularly, made that decision.

Tomorrow morning (Saturday) at 9:30 AM Eastern (sorry Left Coasters) will be Luke 15. For those who haven't seen this, we look at the parables of the lost sheep, lost coin and lost son through a modern lens.

Tomorrow night at 7pm will be a brand new especially for Epicenter, looking at Luke 7 and the woman who washes Jesus's feet.

Sunday morning at 9:30 will be an examination of the Good Samaritan from a new point of view. New-ish, at least.

Sunday night you can hear from my friend Carrie Walker, and Monday morning will be Bret Ogburn. Check it out!

Storymen Episode 5 is up and running!


Hey friends, it's time for Storymen!

In this episode we talk about movies, violence and books.

This time we also have a contest, in which you take the Oscar nominees for best picture and try to add a cheesy Christian tagline. Like so: "Les Miserables: Because People Are Miserable Without Jesus." It's fun!

Now you try:


Give us your best cheesy Christian tagline for the 9 Best Picture nominations! Winners announced on our next episode!

  1. Argo
  2. Amour
  3. Beasts of the Southern Wild
  4. Django Unchained
  5. Les Miserables
  6. Lincoln
  7. Life of Pi
  8. Silver Linings Playbook
  9. Zero Dark Thirty
You can submit your taglines in the comments, onFacebook or with the Twitter hashtag #StoryMen

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Eavesdropping with Matt (Episode Sixty-Five: Home Countries)

Dedicated to the man who sat next to me on the plane today, and to the two women on our plane were having a rough time finding their seats, because their English was not great.

Man next to me: Go back to your home country! Am I right?

Me: Maybe this is their home country.

A couple minutes later we had this excellent exchange:

Man next to me: I can't believe the flight attendants are having such a hard time talking to them. Doesn't anyone on the plane speak Spanish?

Me: Those ladies don't speak Spanish. They were speaking Hindi.

Yes, that's right. And there's so much more waiting for you if you read earlier posts from Eavesdropping With Matt.