The new Storymen podcast is up and running!

If you've been following along, this is episode 6 of the podcast from yours truly and Clay Morgan and JR. Forasteros.

Our special guest star this week is M.S. Corley!

It's a fun show, and the first one in which we do not in any way mention wolves. Excellent.

The Anatomy Of The Red Wolf

Z is doing a research paper at school about red wolves. She has been regaling me with red wolf facts for several weeks now.

This morning as we walked to school she told me how "back in the 1900s" (yea, the very century in which I was born) the red wolf was the most endangered canine in the world.

We also talked about the anatomy of the red wolf.

Z: I know how to tell the difference between a boy red wolf and a girl red wolf.

Me (surprised): You do?

Z: Yes.

Me: So, how can you tell the difference?

Z: The boy wolf has darker fur.

contingency planning

Z and I had this conversation last night after I tucked her and A into bed.

Z: Dad, what if your eyes never got used to the darkness and when you turned out the lights you couldn't see anything at all?

Me: Use your hands to "see."

Z: What if I was feeling around in the dark and I felt something furry?

Me: You should pet it because it is a cat.

Z: What if it is a wild animal?

Me: You should kick it. Because it is a cat.

Z: What if it is a giant wolf?

Me: Then you are outside. If it is so dark that you can't see except with your hands, just stay inside.

Z: Okay.

Me: Goodnight.

Z: Goodnight.

A Story by Z: The Seven Friends

Here's Z's story, same basic exercise as A's:

Once upon a time there was a little frog that was red and yellow. One day she said, "I need a friend." So she went out of her coral reef home and swam up to the surface to find a friend.

Since she was in Africa she saw a jaguar. It said, "Do you want to be my friend?" She answered, "Yes!" So they played and played. But then one day they said, "Playing by ourselves is no fun." So they said, "Let's go find a friend." They looked and looked. But they couldn't find anyone in Africa.

So they had to go to Portland. There they found a wolf. She said, "I'm lonely. Will you be my friend?" They both answered, "YES!"

Just then a small tree frog began to look for food. She asked if they could be her friend. They answered, "Yes." Then they saw a white wolf. She said, "I'll be your friend, too."

Then they accidentally made a wrong turn and went back to Africa. They saw a sleeping lion. They were all not scared except for the little green red-eyed frog. She was afraid. She was not poisonous. She was not a meat-eater. She was the perfect snack for a lion. But the lion asked, "Can I be your friend, too?"

And they all answered, "Yes." Then they all went to the desert. And then they met a camel. She said, "I will be your friend, too."

They all had seven friends. They were all happy and didn't need any more friends.

The End.

Parental Miscalculation

M daughter A wakes up in the night screaming because of her bookshelf. She says it looks like a wolf that's coming toward her. She knows it's a bookshelf, but still reacts that way. Sometimes I drape a blanket over it. Here's what happened the other night.

A: Dad, the pink blanket fell off the bookshelf.

Me: I'll put this Tinkerbell blanket up now.

A: Maybe it will look like Captain Hook is coming after me!

Me: I don't think so. It's mostly blue.

Z (chiming in from her bed next to A's and not afraid at all, she just wants to make trouble): Now it will look like blue wolves coming after you.

A: There's no such thing as blue wolves.

Z: Maybe they fell into a can of paint. That would be funny.

(Concerned about how she is goading her sister, in a split second I miscalculate and say) Me: I'm sure that those blue wolves would go after Z first because she is laughing at them.

Z (her eyes widening in terror): But maybe they would understand I was laughing because it really was pretty funny.

Me: *Sigh.* Kids. There are no wolves in your bedroom. No blue wolves, no wolves of any kind.

Z: Now I'm scared, too.