Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Which means that it's time to start the Patented Mikalatos Toughen Up curriculuum for feet.
I hate it when I have soft, pampered feet. "Winter feet." Blech.
So it's time. Time to take those feet and walk across hot cement. Weed the yard! Step on thorns! Kick rocks!
If you do it right your feet won't feel anything within a couple of weeks. Hooray!
Monday, May 28, 2007
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Z: Dad, look at the crocodiles!
A: And why are there fish in there with them?
Me: When the crocodiles get hungry they slip down there and eat some fish.
Me: Crocodiles eat fish. Or, you know, pretty much anything that goes near them. Zebras, antelope, that sort of thing.
Eight-Year-Old Girl: That's not actually true, you know. Crocodiles are very gentle creatures.
Me: Is that right?
Eight-Year-Old Girl: Yes. Crocodiles will only attack if something tries to harm them. They are mostly vegetarian.
I gave that little girl my blog address and told her to look it up tonight. I wanted to be sure that she saw this picture of a crocodile eating a big bloody chunk of banana:
Aw, alright kid, stop crying. Here's what really happens:
Crocodiles just like to suck on frogs and fish for the flavor. But they would never eat them.
Friday, May 25, 2007
I've decided to work on my novel for a while this summer. I had set it aside for awhile to work on some short stories and things. I noticed my buddy Mir has a little doohickey on her blog that shows how many words she's written on her novel, so I thought I'd post one occasionally to show everyone how little progress I am making. I'm targeting about 100,000 words, so that means that I'm about 28% of the way done with my first draft... that's chapter sixteen. Just seeing that little bar makes me feel sad that it's so far from done... I had (originally) planned to have it done this spring!
28,686 / 100,000
UPDATE: Well, we didn't watch any television tonight. Here's the fruit of tonight's labor on the novel. Not bad, about 1,600 words...
30,309 / 100,000
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Well, this season's Champion LOST Predictor is our very own Angel Oh, with an astonishing 7 correct predictions about last night's episode. It's no big surprise, though. See how she is hugging that television? It is like a sister to her.
Fifteen of our regular and semi-regular LOST devotees showed up, and Angel beat out some tough competition.
But she is used to beating out competition, because she has her very own snowmobile accesories shop on the web, where she regularly beats the competition. It is true.
In other news, LOST is great. If you do not watch it, I pity you. I really do.
I would tell you all the other shows I think are great, but then you would pity me for watching that much television.
NOTE: I've placed the "predictions" quiz that Angel dominated in the comments section so you can peruse it at your leisure. We all filled out the quiz before the show came on. It was fun. There are spoilers in the quiz if you haven't started watching season three yet.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
So, we're hosting a LOST party at our house.
Come on by at 7 p.m. for dessert and to hang out, and then at 9 we'll let the "cone of silence" descend while we spend two hours bonding in the fifty year tradition of our nation: watching television.
BONUS: Before the show get your chance to fill out "Desmond's Season Finale Predictions". The person who has the most correct answers will be declared the Champion Lost Predictor until season four begins!
If you're in the Portland, OR area somewhere, feel free to come by. E-mail me at matt.mikalatos(at)gmail.com if you need our address!
A) Roy pulled her close. "Now that you've rejected the lies of egalitarianism and have accepted the truth of the complementarian position, I think it's time for me to tell you... you are going to be my wife."
B) And as her true love pulled her into his arms for the sweetest kiss, Ashley was finally able to leave the past behind and embrace the future, as a woman, as a mother, and someday soon as a pastor's wife.
C) After crossing the prairie she had lost so much, but God had brought Brett into her life. His strong arms encircled her and she was reminded again of the safety of the circled wagon train. She had found home at last.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Special thanks to my wife... I'm so thankful you're the woman our kids are privileged to learn from and emulate. You are a great Mom and I'm so thankful for you.
And to Janet... if I were choosing a wife based purely on who would be my mother-in-law, Krista would still be first choice. Thanks for your kindness and love to me. I'm so glad that you are such an involved part of our family!
And to my own Mom... I know the whole world sends you little thank you cards from time to time for bringing me into the world, but little do they know the trials and tribulations I've brought you over the years. Thanks for your patience and unconditional love and for being a great mom and grandma. I love you!
TRAFFIC CALMING AHEAD
Can someone help me understand what this means? Feel free to leave your best theories in the comments section.
In other news, this greasy hamburger joint (NATIONS) has been replaced with a great Mexican restaurant called "El Belasco" or some such. It was great.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Of course not!
I think the roads got shorter than last time or something. It probably also helps that instead of stopping to refuel I would pull up alongside tankers and fuel while driving. The driver would toss me a bag of tortilla chips to munch on for the next several hours.
Worst Thing about a day-long drive yesterday: NPR is having a pledge drive. You can only listen to those ringing phones for a finite amount of time. And then there's this nagging question... are there really people in the studio answering phones, or is it just a sound effect. It's almost enough to cause one to call them....
Thursday, May 10, 2007
For extra hilarity, be sure to see the tactful and subtle illustration that the good folk at cbs have chosen for the story.
In other news, small Baptist churches everywhere are looking forward to this summer's softball season.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
But I thought I'd give the BHR community a chance to vote. When you are reading a story by yours truly, what name would you prefer to see on the byline:
A) Matt Mikalatos
B) Matthew Mikalatos
C) Mike Mattalatos
D) Michael Connelly
E) (insert the name of your choice)
Feel free to vote in the comments section.
Krista: There go the ducks.
Me: Yeah, they've been flying over our yard a lot lately.
Z: Oh, so ducks really can fly. Now that I've seen it I know that it's true.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
I told you a while back that my story "The Deluge" was going to be published this July in "Coach's Midnight Diner." And that is still true.
But I got a call from Coach on Friday and he asked if they could also publish it in issue three of Relief Journal--which goes to press tomorrow--as a preview for the Diner. Of course I said yes.
So I e-mailed back and forth with Coach late into the night as we worked on getting the contract signed, writing the bio, finding a picture that really captures my features with the perfect combination of cool aloofness and pretension that serious writers must present. We finally decided on a picture of me wearing a top hat, an umbrella over one arm as I studiously read Ezra Pound's Pisan Cantos.
I asked her, "Are you practicing crying?"
She laughed hysterically and clapped her hands.
She's four years old and so many opportunities to pretend to cry are expanding into the future. And she'll be ready for them. So ready.
Friday, May 04, 2007
So here it is:
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
It's not good when you wake up that tired.
On the positive side, it's a good thing I didn't put it on my hair, because then I would have probably shaved my head this morning.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Included in this issue are two articles by some guy with the same name as me:
An "interview" with Superman in which we discuss "Superman Returns" and the value of advertising toward the evangelical community, as well as the upcoming sequel, the end times and whether I am smarter than Lex Luthor.
I also report back on the unlikely events that cause a men's retreat to kick out their own Bible teacher in "Men's Retreat Shocker."
I hope you enjoy them.