Last week I had a series of dreams in which I was asked to write the next Muppet movie. Every time I woke up, I would think, That was a weird dream. Then I would go back to sleep and the dream would pick up where it left off.
It started with me being asked to write the movie after I somehow came across a group of men debating the plot at a coffee shop. They were so impressed with my input that they asked me to take over as head writer. I got the feeling that they didn't really want to write it, anyway, and they were glad to have someone else take over.
So, I started writing a story called "The Muppets: Going Home."
The story started with Gonzo finding an unhatched dinosaur egg in a cave. In New York City, of course.
There were quite a few vivid scenes. Here are some of my favorites:
1) Gonzo gets a time-travelling bicycle from Bunsen and Beaker so he can take the egg back in time to find its mommy and daddy. But because he gets tired while riding he often has to stop in different eras to catch his breath.
2) In the middle ages, a group of pigs steal the egg and Gonzo enlists the help of a bunch of birds to get it back, by launching the birds on a giant slingshot against the walls of the castle until it collapses.
3) Gonzo destroys his own timeline by releasing a particularly hungry carnivore back into the wild, which means that Gonzo returns to a bleak future. Determined to go back and convince himself not to hatch the egg, he goes back in time only to find hundreds of Gonzos from different timelines all trying to convince themselves to do different things, including "JUMP YOUR MOTORCYCLE OVER A POOL OF OATMEAL!"
4) In the earliest days of New York City, Gonzo meets Statler and Waldorf (the old men in the balcony) as young men. They are just as cranky and mean-spirited as youth as they will be as old men. Now that I'm awake I think this could be funnier if they were kind and encouraging as young men, always talking about how they wouldn't turn out like the old people around them.
Of course all the main Muppets appeared in the story one way or another. And there was a funny scene where Gonzo attached a bike cart to the time travelling bike and pedaled the entire cast into the past, straining to go fast enough to trigger the time travel device.
All in all, it was fine dream and was pretty much the equivalent of watching a Muppet movie that hasn't yet been made. So, my thanks to Mr. Sandman for the movie/dream. I hope you all get to see it one day.