Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Night of the Living Dead Christians Update

I've had several of you pestering me for information about the next book, so here's a bit of an update:

1) The main manuscript is done.... I'm working on another draft right now, which is due to my beloved publisher on the 15th of January.  It's shaping up nicely, I think, and my courageous editor will find that her helpful comments have been completely heeded.

2) We're working on a lot of fun extras for the book, some of which will be in the print edition and some in the e-book.  More details to come.

3) The central character in the book is a Lutheran werewolf named Luther Martin.

4) There's this possibility that we might change the title of the book.  I've been busily coming up with hundreds upon thousands of possible ideas for the new title, which eventually devolved into sad little riffs on regular book titles (like "Werewolf Shrugged").  But there are some good ones out there.  There's a possibility that we'll have a little voting session here on your favorites in the weeks to come.  Sounds like we'll have a solid title and cover by the end of February, which is fun.  I think getting the cover done is one of my favorite parts of the process.

And... that is all.  Enjoy the last few days of the year my minions.  Party like it's 2010.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Traveling Mikalati hit the road again

We've loaded up the gang and we're off to the San Diego winter conference, where I'll be speaking, along with Dr. James A. White of Christ Our King Community Church.  My friend Charlie Schaller is rumored to be showing up to do his production of The Bema and I'm hoping the fantastic illusionist Jim Munroe of The Maze is my soon-to-be-friend.

Overall, we're looking forward to a great time together with all our friends in southern California.  If you're the praying type, we'd appreciate your prayers that my messages as well as those of the others speaking at the conference will be Christ-centered and that God will speak through them to the students and staff at the conference.

Thanks!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

British Badgers Bothering Basra?

The rumor in Iraq is that the British have purposely released man-eating badgers near Basra.

This is probably no surprise to those of us who remember the international hoopla about the UK's use of SPY SQUIRRELS in Iran!

But man-eating badgers, that's just messed up.

By the way, the UK has officially denied the badgers are theirs, but really, what would you expect them to say?

"As we told you, Agent Badger, if you are captured we will disavow all knowledge."

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Baby M has a Christmas dance for you

Krista took this video of M dancing today, and I thought it was really cute. Just don't ask her to identify baby Jesus. She will ignore you. She clearly thinks that everyone already knows the answer to that question.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Give the gift of Imaginary Jesus this Christmas and I'll send a little gift along, too

When you're looking for Christmas gifts this year, it can be a little overwhelming to look at, say, a bookshelf and know what book to choose for your loved one.

I wanted to make that a little easier for you this Christmas, by providing a tiny bonus if you purchase my book, Imaginary Jesus.

If you buy Imaginary Jesus for yourself or as a gift before midnight on Sunday, December 19th, I'll send along a signed book plate with Christmas wishes for you to lovingly insert inside the book.  Or, if you would rather buy the audio version, which I highly encourage, you can artfully decorate the audio box.  And lastly, if you'd like to buy the e-book, you can permanently decorate your Kindle or other e-reader with a stylish sticker signed by yours truly.

Here's what you need to do:

1) Buy some version of the book*.

2) Send me an e-mail to Matt.Mikalatos(at)gmail.com telling me that
      a) you bought the book
      b) what you'd like me to write on the book plate
      c) where to send it

Merry Christmas from Imaginary Jesus!



* I know what you are thinking, you sneaky little minions... "What if I e-mail Matt and tell him that I bought the book but I didn't really?  Then I will get a signed book plate for nothing BWAHAHAHAAHHAAAA!"  Well, I already thought of that.  And then I thought, it's Christmas, and if you cross me I will paint you red and green and put you under my tree.  So there.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

In which I (accidentally) humiliate a Portland Hipster

Last night Krista and I popped into Banana Republic while waiting for our office Christmas party to start at our friend's house nearby.  As we browsed the men's department, Krista would show me different bits of apparel and I would give my pronouncement on whether I liked it.  Like this...

Krista: What do you think of this shirt?  It's not really 'you' is it?

Me: If I were rich and lived on a sailboat and could wear white chinos and deck shoes with no socks all year, then I would gladly wear that shirt.

We wandered into the coat section, and Krista grabbed a coat that was thrown over the racks instead of on a hanger.

Krista: This coat is nice.

Me: Yeah.  If you're a girl.

Nearby (male) Hipster: Actually that's my coat. I threw it over the rack there while I was looking around.

Me: Uhhhh, sorry.

Krista immediately steered me out of the store and into another store, completely mortified.  And the hipster wandered the mall like a broken ghost, crying and wailing and embracing the deep sea of sadness that confronted him with the realization that I didn't understand him at all, not at all.

THE END

Thursday, December 09, 2010

Lost and Lost

Last night I had this conversation with young Miss Z:

Z: Dad, I can't find my Awana's book.

Me: Did you look in your room?

Z: Yes.
Tapout Men's Marquee Main Event Lace Up Sneaker,Camoflauge,4 M US
Me: Could it be out in the van?

Z: Maybe.

Me: Then put your shoes on and go look in the van.

Z: But that means I have to find my shoes!

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

God, rainbows and leprechauns

This morning there was a beautiful rainbow as the kids and I walked to school.

Me: Kids, look at the rainbow!

Z: It looks like it's touching the ground.

Me: We should go get the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

A: God did not put a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Me: No, that's true.  The leprechauns do it.

A: God did not make leprechauns.

Me: Oh.

Monday, December 06, 2010

HUCKSTER!!! (CSFF blog tour)

My good friends at the Christian Science Fiction and Fantasy blog tour are going to be talking about a book called The Charlatan's Boy by Jonathan Rogers this week, so you can expect to see some great posts, reviews and insights from them over the next couple of days (see links below for bloggers who are participating). The Charlatan's Boy is the story of this charlatan who has a boy.

Oh, fine, I know, you want more of an explanation than that, and I understand why you would. Go check out the blogs below or the link at Amazon for a synopsis, because I want to talk about something else today. I want to talk about hucksters. Frauds. Fakes. Flim-flam men. Hmm. Why do so many of their names start with an f? It is a mystery.

Now, in television and movies we have a loving happy feeling toward our hucksters, because they are charismatic, charming and, after all, are only trying to provide the people with what they want! Snake oil! And the truth be told, we tend to like them in real life, too. We buy their hair care products! We fly to Mexico to get surgeries from them that are illegal in the U.S. We elect them to office!

I thought about this for a while and dug around to find a famous huckster from the past and came across the sad, strange story of John R. Brinkley. Brinkley started as a medicine man, the sort of guy who would travel from town to town and offer to inject people with colored water to help them overcome various illnesses. Eventually he hit on his paydirt idea, which was to offer to surgically insert goat glands into people suffering from various procreative problems. He eventually expanded what conditions the glands could help to include things like cancer. The man made a lot of money. He bought a radio station and used it to advertise his products, and used his profits to benefit the town he lived in, to the point that when California asked him to be extradited to face prosecution for various crimes, the governor of Kansas refused because the man was bringing in so much money for the state.

The guy might sound harmless, but he killed at least 40 people through malpractice. And when his medical (and broadcast) licenses were revoked, did he pack up and head for another town? No. HE RAN FOR GOVERNOR OF KANSAS. And he very nearly won!

His story is full of strange facts... after getting his broadcast license revoked he got permission from the Mexican government to build a broadcast tower so strong that people could get reception all the way in Canada. In fact, you didn't even have to listen to it on the radio... it was so powerful that people reported getting the station on electric fences and dental work. Amazing.

In the end, Brinkley was defeated by his arch-nemesis, Morris Fishbein, who tricked Brinkley into suing him for libel. The judge found that it was not libelous to call Brinkley a quack or a charlatan, because he was clearly both. This opened the gates to a flood of lawsuits that left Brinkley penniless until the end of his life.

Interestingly, you can still find people today who defend his medical practices and theories. That is the defining characteristic of the successful charlatan... people want his lies to be true.

There are a lot of people out there talking about THE CHARLATAN'S BOY this week. Check out my friends and their sites below:


Sally Apokedak
Amy Bissell
Red Bissell
Jennifer Bogart
Thomas Clayton Booher
Keanan Brand
Beckie Burnham
Jeff Chapman
Christian Fiction Book Reviews
Valerie Comer
CSFF Blog Tour
D. G. D. Davidson
April Erwin
Andrea Graham
Tori Greene
Katie Hart
Bruce Hennigan
Christopher Hopper
Becky Jesse
Cris Jesse
Jason Joyner
Julie
Carol Keen
Shannon McDermott
Allen McGraw
Matt Mikalatos
Rebecca LuElla Miller
Nissa
Donita K. Paul
SarahFlan
Sarah Sawyer
Chawna Schroeder
Tammy Shelnut
Kathleen Smith
James Somers
Donna Swanson
Robert Treskillard
Fred Warren
Phyllis Wheeler
Nicole White
Elizabeth Williams
Dave Wilson

Monday, November 29, 2010

Civilization As Defined By My Children

Traveling back from our Thanksgiving getaway, Krista and the kids had the following conversation:

A: Mom, are we going to stop somewhere for lunch?

Krista: Yes, but we'll have to wait until we reach civilization.
Civilization at last!

A: Is Civilization the name of a town?

Z: No, A, civilization means a town that has a Burgerville or McDonald's or something like that.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Thanksgiving in Spaaaaaaaace!

Here are some Thanksgiving thoughts from our crew aboard the international space station. It's a good reminder to be thankful for what we have and where we are. I'm very thankful to be with my wife and daughters and in-laws today and to have so many loved ones here and abroad. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Sacrifice, surrender and hope

Here are the other two sessions from this last weekend where I did some Bible teaching for the Great Lakes staff.

The first talk was about surrender and sacrifice, coming out of the story of the rich young ruler who came to talk to Jesus. The talk starts at around 29 minutes:



And here's the last session from the conference, where we talked about hope. We had a really great time with the Great Lakes crew! We're glad we got invited to go hang out with them. My bit starts about 31 minutes in:

Monday, November 22, 2010

The Lord's Prayer

Here's some video from this weekend at the Great Lakes conference. It's the entire first session, so it's not just my talk. It's the deluxe package,complete with conference announcements. You can jump around in the video until you find my stunningly handsome face if you like.

There are two more videos I'll put up later, when I'm not on this evil internet connection at the Chicago airport.

Level 3:16

This weekend Krista and I were at the Great Lakes Staff Conference with CCC. I was the Bible teacher and we had a really great time together with the GL staff. While we were there my Rasool introduced me to this video by a band called Level 3:16... they're part of the Impact Movement and are producing some excellent music, which you can enjoy right now with the video below:

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Biology Lesson

This week my 7 year old, A, was trying to put on my bluetooth... she wanted to see what it was like to take a phone call through the earpiece. She was struggling trying to put it on, and suddenly she grabbed it, pulled it from her ear, looked at it skeptically and asked me, "Dad, was this thing designed for boys?"

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Monday, November 15, 2010

Crustacean News In the Headlines Today

I wanted to be sure to share this fun vending machine from Asia. Mmmmm, hairy crabs.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Wes Yoder, author of "Bond of Brothers" on The Today Show this morning

I've mentioned my good friend Wes Yoder before... he's the author of the new book Bond of Brothers and was featured on The Today Show this morning. Check it out:



Here's my review of Wes' book. You can buy Bond of Brothers here.

Wes and I will both be speaking at a Campus Crusade for Christ staff conference next weekend, and I'm excited to get to hang out with him and minister together!  Congrats, Wes.  Keep up the great work.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Dick Van Dyke... are you *trying* to make us jealous

You may have already heard that Dick Van Dyke fell asleep on a surfboard, woke up far from shore and was saved by a pod of porpoises who pushed him back to shore.

What has not been widely reported is how a tribe of monkeys pulled him from the water and he told a flock of birds what had happened and they quickly flew off to tell a cub reporter all about it.

In other news... Dick Van Dyke, how I envy you.

My Jesus is bigger than your Jesus

A town in Poland is in the news right now for finally defeating the giant Jesus statue in Rio with a significantly larger Jesus of their own. Who has a crown. In your face, Rio!

"I'm watching you, little man."

Jesus cranes his neck to get a better view.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Flying cars! Now I just need a jetpack.

The big news in missionary circles right now is that Steve Saint just got his flying car approved by the FAA.

Here's the article from CNN.

Here's the website for "The Maverick."

Here's a video of the car in action.

Steve Saint, as you may already know, is the son of martyred missionary Nate Saint, and has dedicated his life to helping the Waodani tribe (the same tribe that killed his father) interact with the modern world without being consumed by it.

This would be an excellent Christmas gift for me, and it only costs 80 thousand dollars.  Sweet!

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

TURTLE MAN!

One of the excellent side effects of having young new interns working at my office is being introduced to things on the internet that must be shared with you all.

Monday, November 08, 2010

Ferret Legging

In response to the recent post on catching catfish using one's bare hands, Rob E, the poet laureate of Missouri, suggested that I should look into "Ferret Legging."

Ferrett Legging is a sport that originated in Britain, in which contestants tie their trouser leg closed, place two ferrets in their trousers (it's Britain, people!) and then tighten their belt closed. The ferret must be fully teethed, undrugged, and the contestant cannot wear anything under their trousers. I read the wikipedia entry and laughed myself silly.

Here's a funny video. It doesn't appear to be taking the rules of Ferret Legging seriously, but it's still entertaining:

Friday, November 05, 2010

Page CXVI preview of Hymns III album "Be Thou My Vision"

My good friends Page CXVI release their next album this coming Tuesday... in the meantime, here's a little tast of the sonic goodness. Enjoy!

02 Be Thou My Vision by PageCXVI

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Flying Colors and Savage Dragon

Thought you all might enjoy this article.  My boss and the owner of Flying Colors, the comic book shop I worked in and that appears in Imaginary Jesus, is now appearing in the comic book Savage Dragon. 

Congratulations, Joe!

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

The Skin Map (book review)

Hello my minions. It is now time for a book review of The Skin Map by Stephen R. Lawhead. 

The Skin Map (Bright Empires)Here's the skinny: Once upon a time there was a guy who could travel between worlds (dimensions/universes/etc.), and to keep himself from ever getting lost he tattooed a map onto himself.  Then he died.  Now all the other explorers would like to have his skin so they won't get lost, either.  Also, it appears he may have discovered the secret of the universe.  Clever boy.  Except for the being dead part. 

Enter washed up layabout Kit Livingstone who, it turns out, has a latent ability to travel between worlds himself.  His great great great grandfather shows up and recruits him to the hunt for the Skin Map (eww).  Unfortunately, in one of his jaunts through the worlds, Kit has carelessly lost his girlfriend in another dimension/time/world.  So now the race is on to comb the multiverse for his girlfriend and the map.  Yes, there are bad guys.  Also coffee. And some sort of prehistoric sabre toothed cat or something.  Her name is Baby.

Things I liked about this book:  I enjoyed this book pretty well, honestly.  I'm a sucker for multiple universe stories, and Kit's great grandpa gave off a faint Dr. Who vibe (possibly as a result of being British) that I found enjoyable.  The historical settings were interesting, and I thought the spiritual content was (overall) well done and didn't detract or distract from the story.  The characters were likeable and I would have been happy for them to overcome all the odds stacked agains them in a spectacular climax that spanned several worlds.  That's not what happened, but that's what I would have liked to see.  The pace of the book wasn't a headlong race after the map, which was puzzling but also enjoyable.  It was a pretty relaxed, easy-going kind of race.  And I will say that Mr. Lawhead's writing never got in the way of the story.  He's a solid writer who knows what he's doing, and when there were confusing moments or strange occurences I knew I could trust that he would take care of me as the book progressed. 

On the Other Hand. I wish that the book hadn't been just the first part of a series.  I think I can fairly say that multiple subplots and even major plot points are not resolved, that characters disappear, reappear at other times and are then ignored, and all this with the implicit promise that I will get answers if I read book two.  My preference would have been to have at least some of the plot resolve.  And (SPOILER -- STOP NOW IF YOU HAVEN'T READ IT AND PLAN TO) I found it odd that, for instance, the missing girlfriend isn't "found"... she just reappears at the end of the book without any explicit explanation.  The heroes are just bumbling through the plot to some degree.

And one other thing that bothered me. It seemed to me that sometimes the characters did something dumb just to make the plot advance the correct way.  Here's a complete SPOILER example.  Two of the characters have a section of the skin map squirreled away somewhere.  They go to get it out and discover (gasp) it has been stolen.  Now they are out of luck.  Because they never copied it.  It's a priceless artifact because of the drawing on it, but no one thought to make a copy. 

And one last little annoyance.  I had this feeling that about page 371 the author realized Ooops, I've come to the end of my page count for part one, I better quickly wrap some things up a little bit but not too much.  This involved leaping over a few events that needed a chapter or two.

A final word.  I enjoyed the Skin Map.  It seemed like a more accessible (and less enjoyable) version of the Connie Willis Oxford time travel stories (which, if you haven't read them, are well worth your time).  At the same time, it seems a bit early to rush to judgment since this is really only the first part of the story, and it may well be that when the story is taken all together that it will be quite good.  I certainly think it has that potential.

And now, if you will excuse me, I am going to slip into another dimension where I am the author of all of Stephen Lawhead's books and he is reviewing them.  And also I am the founder of Microsoft. 

If you'd like to see some more thoughts on The Skin Map, check out all my buddies on the Christian Science Fiction and Fantasy Tour:

Thomas Clayton Booher
Keanan Brand
Grace Bridges
Beckie Burnham
Morgan L. Busse
Jeff Chapman
Christian Fiction Book Reviews
Valerie Comer
Karri Compton
Amy Cruson
CSFF Blog Tour
Stacey Dale
D. G. D. Davidson
George Duncan
April Erwin
Tori Greene
Ryan Heart
Bruce Hennigan
Timothy Hicks
Christopher Hopper
Becky Jesse
Cris Jesse
Becca Johnson
Jason Joyner
Julie
Carol Keen
Krystine Kercher
Shannon McDermott
Allen McGraw
Rebecca LuElla Miller
Nissa
John W. Otte
Gavin Patchett
Sarah Sawyer
Chawna Schroeder
Kathleen Smith
Rachel Starr Thomson
Donna Swanson
Robert Treskillard
Steve Trower
Fred Warren
Dona Watson
Phyllis Wheeler
Nicole White
Elizabeth Williams
Dave Wilson

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Lei Line

After yesterday's post on ley lines, I thought I would include this picture of a Lei Line. Moowhahahahaaa!

In other news... LET'S GO TO HAWAII!

Monday, November 01, 2010

Ley Lines and "The Skin Map"

The Skin Map (Bright Empires)Today and the two days following I'll be joining a bunch of other bloggers to talk about Stephen Lawhead's new book The Skin Map.  I got a free copy of the book for this "tour" with the other members of the Christian Science Fiction and Fantasy blog tour.

Ley lines.  In 1921amatuer archaeologist Alfred Watkins noticed that certain ancient sites seemed to criss cross Britain in straight lines.  Curious as to why this might be, he set out to study these significant line ups of ancient wells, walls and monuments.  He eventually came to call these ley lines, and hypothesized that the lines were actually correspondent to some sort of energy underground that moved in straight lines and had somehow been sensed and used by the ancients.

Watkins' theories were met with nearly universal dismissal until, several decades later, several New Age authors latched on to the idea that (depending on the author) spiritual power or electromagnetic fields were moving along these geographic lines.  And, they've been fodder for fantasy novels, science fiction shows, New Age rituals and comic books ever since. 

Lawhead uses them for his own purposes, like everyone always has.  In Lawhead's book, ley lines are somewhat like fault lines... places where separate worlds and/or dimensions rub up against one another and create the possibility of traveling between worlds. More about this in later posts, but suffice it to say that "energy field that transports you to other worlds" is a great deal more exciting than "supposed energy field that probably doesn't exist but could be one explanation for some stuff being in a straight line."

And if you don't believe me, check out this trailer for the book:



My plan in the next couple of days is to talk about Christian fiction in general and how Stephen Lawhead's book relates to that, as well as a review of the book itself. A bunch of my friends will be talking about the book over the next few days as well... check them out:



Red Bissell
Thomas Clayton Booher
Keanan Brand
Grace Bridges
Beckie Burnham
Morgan L. Busse
Jeff Chapman
Christian Fiction Book Reviews
Valerie Comer
Karri Compton
Amy Cruson
CSFF Blog Tour
Stacey Dale
D. G. D. Davidson
George Duncan
April Erwin
Tori Greene
Ryan Heart
Bruce Hennigan
Timothy Hicks
Christopher Hopper
Becky Jesse
Cris Jesse
Becca Johnson
Jason Joyner
Julie
Carol Keen
Krystine Kercher
Shannon McDermott
Allen McGraw
Rebecca LuElla Miller
Nissa
John W. Otte
Gavin Patchett
Sarah Sawyer
Chawna Schroeder
Kathleen Smith
Rachel Starr Thomson
Donna Swanson
Robert Treskillard
Steve Trower
Fred Warren
Dona Watson
Phyllis Wheeler
Nicole White
Elizabeth Williams
Dave Wilson

Me and My Groupies!

 This weekend I spoke at the Seattle area student retreat for students involved in Campus Crusade for Christ.  We had a great time.  The theme of the weekend was "Who is the Real Jesus?" and I spoke about the reasons people follow Jesus, the love Jesus has for people, and the Great Commission.

On the last day (October 30th) two of the young ladies on the retreat put on their Halloween costumes early... they were my groupies!  Notice the star-shaped glasses that match Imaginary Jesus' glasses.  A nice touch I thought.

So, here it is, the first official pictures of my first official groupies, Melanie Terry (#1) and Sarah Brown (#2).  Thanks, ladies.  It was nice to feel like some sort of famous person for a few minutes. 

P.S.  They asked me to sign their shirts, so I signed on the back there.  It's hard to write on shirts.  I am going to need more practice if this groupie phenomenon becomes more common.

Friday, October 29, 2010

How To Communicate WIth Writers

I saw this on Marc Cortez's blog yesterday and it made me laugh, so I just knew it would make you chortle with joy, because you are waaaaay more easily entertained than me.



Also, if you're not reading Marc's blog, you really should be. He has interesting theological posts as well as silly nonsense gathered from around the internet. Sometimes he has silly theology that is gathered from around the internet. But on those days he balances it out with interesting nonsense that is more serious.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Poetry Slam Tonight!

Tonight PDXCRU is hosting a poetry slam at Portland State University, featuring poetry slam champion Phil Long.

There's over $500 in cash prizes, which, as you poets know, is the lifetime salary of most poets. 

Sounds like it's going to be awesome!  If you're a poet, sign up by 6:30.  If you're there to watch the riot, the party starts at 7. 

Have fun!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Kids Keep You Humble

My seven year old (A) overheard me talking to someone on the phone today; he was inviting me to come be the keynote speaker at a conference.  We talked about it for a while, and later in the night A and I had this conversation:

A: Dad, do all these people who ask you to come speak at their conferences actually want you to speak or do they just pick using popsicle sticks or something?

Me: Uhhh... you mean, do they just randomly choose from a big list of people?

A: Yes.

Me: They actually want me to come speak.

A: Huh.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Crackers

I was walking through the supermarket this afternoon looking for Wheat Thins and mumbling under my breath, "Crackers, crackers, where are all the crackers" just as I walked by an African American gentlemen who looked at me like I was crazy. Because, let's face it, the Safeway by my house is just flush with crackers.

THE END

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Noodling

I was in Orlando last week and some friends started talking about "noodling." The more they talked about it, I started to wonder if they were messing with me. What they explained was that noodling is when someone swims down to a sunken log where big catfish live, and they stick their arm inside the log so that the catfish grabs on, and then they swim up and stick it in the boat.

The danger being that there could be poisonous snakes or snapping turtles in the submerged catfish hidey-hole and one can lose a finger or become poisoned.

In other words, it makes for excellent television.



I thought I should share this with you. My world is now a larger and stranger place.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Currently Reading...

Brought to me this week by an Amazon gift card from my sister:

First we have Michael Connelly's THE REVERSAL.I love the Harry Bosch novels and have read them all and I always buy the new ones in hardcover so I don't have to wait a minute longer than necessary.

Second is Parker: The Outfit, which is Darwyn Cooke's second graphic novel adaptation of a Richard Stark novel. The first one was spectacular, so I'm looking forward to this.

So this week is all about crime. Which I plan to observe from a safe distance here in my house, probably in my bed with my night cap on and a cup of warm milk at my bedside.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Touche

Z (whining): I wish I had brought my DS so I could do something in the car when we are driving at night.

Me: I wish you had some magic power that made you stop whining.

Z: I wish you had some magic power that made you stop complaining about your children.

Me: Ha ha ha ha haaaaa!

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Smells Like A Monster

Shasta, friend of the Revolution and lady who could run a blog but doesn't want to sends along this video spoof of the Old Spice Guy, starring Grover the furry monster from Sesame Street:



I was always a fan of Grover as a kid. I especially liked his waiter sketches:

Sunday, October 10, 2010

The Traditional Airport Post: THE BAND HOUR

It's an early morning flight, and that means that the airplanes are all full of amateur musicians for some reason.  I saw a guy who looked like Sting but was probably ten years older than Sting, and the guy next to me right now has skinny jeans, a guitar and a girlfriend. 

On the other side of me is a trio of revelers talking about the party last night which involved a great deal of heavy drinking, people falling down and a trip to the hospital, where someone was told that they had "minor bruising" which led to a great deal of cursing and paranoid accusations of the medical industry not acknowledging the pain of others.  From the pained looks, drawn faces and pale, sickly complexions of those around me I'm guessing that the entire plane has a hangover.  Not me, of course, I'm fresh as a daisy.  Possibly fresher than a daisy depending on the daisy.

Also, while walking through security I was stopped by the woman on the other side of the magic metal-detecting doorway, when she asked to see the other side of my face so she could look at my (non-existant) ear piece/bluetooth.  She laughed and said she had imagined it and just wanted to spend another thirty seconds with me, which made me wonder several things... if my earpiece doesn't set off a metal detector, why would they do a special check of it?  What if the same earpiece was in my pocket?  Is there anything more annoying than those people who walk around with an earpiece in all the time, as if they want you to know that it could be any second that they would need to ditch you and talk to the air?  I'm seriously asking: is there anything more annoying than that?

The answer is yes.  There are things more annoying than that.  It's annoying, certainly.  But not as annoying as, say, a rat nesting in your sweaters.  Or someone stealing your spare tire.  Or discovering that a pig has built an underground house beneath your house and has told a wolf that he lives at your house, so the wolf keeps knocking on your door and breathing on your house. 

Aha.  You have been saved by the bell.  My flight is boarding.  Hasta la vista, amigos.

Monday, October 04, 2010

The Arch!

Yesterday after the Fall Getaway was over we headed to St. Louis to see THE ARCH!

Our seven year old, A, took this picture with Krista's phone.

After we hung out at the arch for a bit, we went underneath and walked around the museum of western expansion, and then we met Krista's cousing Mandy and her family at a restaurant called The Fountain on Locust, voted best ice cream parlor in St. Louis and best bathroom in America.  We had a great time.

This morning we'll meet with our friend and co-worker, Dan Allen, and then we'll be off to the airport and home!

Friday, October 01, 2010

St. Louis Bound!

Photo by Daniel Schwen
Yes, my friends, the wife and I are packing up the children and the covered wagon and headed East for the great Missouri Fall Getaway.  I'll be the Bible teacher for the weekend, so you can pray that our flights are on time and that the poor students on the other side are able to have a deep, spiritual experience of connecting with God despite the inadequacies of their guest speaker.

In other news, we've released thousands of poisonous vipers into our home for while we're out of town (we'll be gone approximately three hours), as well as hired a housesitter and rented a vicious dog.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Role of Monkeys in This, Our World

Let's be honest, we've known for a long time that the monkeys are a problem.  Maybe not a problem on the same scale as, say, the sharks, but when it comes to animals on the earth which are likely to try to take over and remove us from the top of the food chain, monkeys are on the top ten list, somewhere between kittens and werewolves.

Look how the monkey corrupted this poor guy with the eye patch.
It's because of our history.  We know that monkeys might look cute, but are often Nazis, like in Raiders of the Lost Ark (spoiler alert).

We know that monkeys sometimes run into a town and beat everyone up and steal the liquor. We know that so-called ninja monkeys sometimes fight the hand that trains them.  We know that monkeys sneak into kitchens and steal food and shiny objects.  Monkeys, in brief, are big trouble.

But our clever friends in India have come up with a solution to the world's monkey problem: USE MONKEYS TO FIGHT THE MONKEYS!  I am amazed by the ingenuity.  Stay tuned and I will look for video of a monkey vs. monkey smack down. 

In the meantime, I would appreciate it if someone would train some sharks to eat some other sharks.  Gracias.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Books in my mailbox (now and later)

Two recent arrivals in the Mikalatos mailbox (C'mon people, I can't read them all at once.  I do have comic books to read, too, ya know):

The FaithfulAuthor Jonathan Weyer sent me a sneak preview of his supernatural murder mystery, THE FAITHFUL, in which a pastor wracked with spiritual doubts is catapulted into an investigation of his former fiancee's suspicious death.  I am promised that there are evil societies, cults, creatures of the night and ghosts.   

City on Our KneesAlso in the mailbox thanks to Bethany House books is City On Our Knees by TobyMac.  This book is about Christians from different walks of life, cultures and theological backgrounds setting aside their differences to come together in unity and pray, and make a difference in the world.  I haven't read any of this yet, but I can say that I really like the design of the book cover.  It has see through letters on the jacket that reveal the color and art underneath it.  Pretty snazzy.

Thanks for the books, Jonathan and Bethany House!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I should probably buy some of these

I'm getting too many people asking me to fly them around. "Oh, Matt, I've always wanted to fly!  Couldn't we just go up above the clouds."  And then they're like, "Oh, it's too cold!" 

At least it's not as creepy as the people who want to shoot me with guns so they can see the bullets bounce off.

Anyway, I thought you might all enjoy the Brooklyn Superhero Supply Store, where you can find all your superhero needs.

Monday, September 27, 2010

The best Christian "Men's Book" I've ever read

I've read my share of men's books.  They've been assigned for homework, handed to me by friends, agreed upon by small groups.

I've never found them useful. I'm sure this is my problem as much as the books', which other people have found enlightening or helpful.  I couldn't help feeling that the books either reduced Jesus to the "paragon of manhood" or became a defense of John Wayne style American manliness.  I've shared my thoughts on this topic elsewhere.

Bond of Brothers is different.  This is the first men's book I've read that takes Christ, scripture and the need for a transformed life as a Christian man seriously. As I read the book I started thinking of all the people I would want to give it to, and it quickly became a list of every Christian guy I know.  I found it really helpful, insightful, convicting and full of wisdom.

I'll mention here, too, that the author is my friend as well as my literary agent.  I've been impressed with his integrity, his character, his care for others, his focus on Christ and his humility.  He's someone I am glad to learn from, and he's someone whose life I would gladly imitate in pursuit of a life like Christ's.  So I'd encourage you to buy a copy for yourself, your father, your son or any other man in your life.

I'd also like to say that it rained this morning, and I did just a little bit of work and did you catch today's game?

UPDATE: Wes called me this evening and mentioned that the Bond of Brothers website is up and running!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Eavesdropping with Matt (Episode Forty-Seven: Thai Me A River)

Dedicated to the family gathered at Dok Koon Thai at the round table to our left, who had so many hilarious antics while deciding what to order (WHAT?! NO SUSHI? AND NO SAKI?) that I had to choose this, my favorite excerpt.

Waiter: What can I get you?

Mom: Some pad thai.

Waiter: How spicy?

Mom: Medium. Also some Rad Na.

Waiter: How spicy?

Mom: Medium.  We would also like some... hmmm... Spicy Pork.

Waiter: How spicy?

Mom: Mild.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

BOOKS I LOVE: Win a copy of The Princess Bride by William Goldman

The Princess Bride: S. Morgenstern's Classic Tale of True Love and High Adventure  "Wait a minute... wait a minute... is this a kissing book?"

I am going to give away a copy of The Princess Bride by William Goldman.  I love this book.  Not enough to marry it and be committed to it above all other books, but enough to have consistent, loving and respectful flings together.

You also will love it, unless you are an uncultured Philistine, in which case you will probably only mildly adore it.

Over the next few months I'm going to occasionally give away a couple of my favorite books.  As an author, it's hard not to be influenced by the books you love when you write your own books, and I thought it would be fun to share a couple of the similarities between Imaginary Jesus and the books I want to gather into a big pile and cuddle with.

Here are a couple ways that The Princess Bride and Imaginary Jesus are similar:

1) They're both light-hearted comedies.  Granted, one is about true love, giants and fencing, and the other is about punching a fake Jesus out and chasing it through time and space, but the fact is they're both meant to be goofy, enjoyable books.

2) The author appears as himself.  In The Princess Bride, William Goldman discovers that one of his favorite books from his childhood was actually heavily edited by his father to make it palatable for children, and he sets out to make his own "good parts version" of the book.  In Imaginary Jesus, Matt Mikalatos is both narrator and main character as he sets out on a quest to find an answer to why God has allowed suffering in his family.

3) Both books deal with serious topics in the midst of the craziness.  Underneath all the wackiness, Princess Bride deals with love... True Love in romantic situations as well as the love between parents and their children.  Beyond the talking animals, time travel and legion of Jesuses, Imaginary Jesus looks at the way we make decisions about religion, spirituality and our desire to be connected to God.

4) Both books will make you laugh so hard that you break all the furniture in your house.  Or, if you are a more serious sort, they will make you guffaw in public places.  This is not an unconditional guarantee, and the authors are not responsible for any damage to your furniture or social shame brought on by your public displays of mirth.

HOW DO I ENTER, you ask?

Easy.

1) Link to this post from your blog, twitter or facebook.

2) Leave a comment on this post telling me you've linked it up.

3) I will send a note to the winner on September 29th.  Don't worry, I'll do it using the power of the random number generator.

4) Yes, multiple links will give you multiple entries.  Enter as much as you like.

5) Your chances to win increase with every line from The Princess Bride you quote in the comments section of this post.  Because the random number generator loves that movie.

 And now for the small print: If anything about this contest is illegal or opens me up to lawsuits where you live, please do not tell your authorities or lawyers about it.  Because that will void this contest in your area.  And that would be sad.

UPDATE (9/28): We have a winner!  Congrats to Rahma Krambo!