Thursday, September 30, 2010

The Role of Monkeys in This, Our World

Let's be honest, we've known for a long time that the monkeys are a problem.  Maybe not a problem on the same scale as, say, the sharks, but when it comes to animals on the earth which are likely to try to take over and remove us from the top of the food chain, monkeys are on the top ten list, somewhere between kittens and werewolves.

Look how the monkey corrupted this poor guy with the eye patch.
It's because of our history.  We know that monkeys might look cute, but are often Nazis, like in Raiders of the Lost Ark (spoiler alert).

We know that monkeys sometimes run into a town and beat everyone up and steal the liquor. We know that so-called ninja monkeys sometimes fight the hand that trains them.  We know that monkeys sneak into kitchens and steal food and shiny objects.  Monkeys, in brief, are big trouble.

But our clever friends in India have come up with a solution to the world's monkey problem: USE MONKEYS TO FIGHT THE MONKEYS!  I am amazed by the ingenuity.  Stay tuned and I will look for video of a monkey vs. monkey smack down. 

In the meantime, I would appreciate it if someone would train some sharks to eat some other sharks.  Gracias.


  1. I take it, then, that you don't accept the claim that monkeys are, "too busy singing to put anybody down."

  2. pongboy8:45 AM

    No way! Everyone knows that the real danger to our species is... GREMLINS! They can eat us out of house and home; They can fly and scale buildings like Superman; They like to land on airplane wings and tamper with the engines; They multiply in water; They are smart, sneaky, and covert. Gremlins are among us... Be afraid, be very afraid! :(

  3. When my grandpa was young he worked for a circus but they didn't have money to pay him, so they gave him a monkey. The monkey got in to my great-grandfather's booze, got drunk, and wrecked the house. That was the end of the monkey.