There was a light fog, and we saw this deer trotting along the road ahead of us. It looked like he was favoring his back right leg.
M was on my shoulders, so we stopped to look and I took this picture. I'm sure we looked like a terrifying two-headed monster and if the deer had a camera he probably would snapped a pic, too.
I said, "We must have scared him."
M: I don't think we scared him. It's probably all the Halloween decorations.
A good point from the four year old.
As we passed by him and headed toward the school he started huffing and trotting toward us. I started to think he might come after us. I figured I could get M into a nearby tree in time if he started to charge. But I really didn't want to fight him, because ever since my antlers fell off I've been afraid to fight deer anymore.
Anyway, I dropped M off at school and came out to find him waiting on the road. As I walked closer, he ran between two houses, jumped the chain link fence between them and disappeared. Yes, he jumped the chain link fence. He's an urban deer, I guess.
In honor of the second anniversary of Night of the Living Dead Christian, my publisher is giving away the e-book for FREE. Please tell your friends, put it on your Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, G+, et cetera, et cetera. Thank you for passing the word along.
Night of the Living Dead Christian
Price:
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Available:
10/20 - 10/26
What does a transformed life actually look like? In his follow-up to the critically acclaimed Imaginary Jesus, Matt Mikalatos tackles this question in an entertaining and thought-provoking way—with MONSTERS!!! While Christians claim to experience…
Or, if you prefer the comedic stylings of My Imaginary Jesus, it's on sale for LESS THAN TWO BUCKS! Buy it up, people. It's a great time to give it as a gift to your friends and family!
My Imaginary Jesus
Price:
$1.99
Available:
10/20 - 10/26
Matt Mikalatos liked Jesus a lot. In fact, he couldn't believe how much they had in common. They shared the same likes, dislikes, beliefs, and opinions. (Though Jesus did have better hair.) So imagine Matt's astonishment when he finds out that the guy…
Earlier this week I got home from speaking at a retreat in Iowa to discover this waiting in my mailbox:
Yes, that's a medieval king being married to a robot by a tentacled Lovecraftian horror.
It's the anthology Unidentified Funny Objects 2, a collection of hilarious science fiction, fantasy, and horror. I had a story in the first anthology called "Working Stiff" about a down-on-his-luck vampire. I have a story in the second anthology, as well, a sequel called "A Stiff Bargain" in which my down-on-his-luck vampire battles the evil of... PRANK CALLS!
There are a lot of funny stories in here by big names in the speculative fiction community, like Robert Silverberg, Jim Hines, Ken Liu and Mike Resnick. And of course, a tiny little name in the speculative fiction community, Matt Mikalatos.
Last week I took my 4 year old, M, to the park to enjoy the last rays of the dying Northwest sun before it disappears forever leaving us in the unending gray of clammy Sister Winter.
I was helping her across the monkey bars, where of course, she was pretending to be a monkey. Every time she fell off I would say, "Oops, you fell in the lava" and take her back to the beginning. After a few tries I guess she got tired of that.
She looked me in the eye and said, "Don't pretend it's lava any more."
"Okay," I said.
She said, "Don't pretend it's water, either."
I said fine. But what should I pretend it is?
"Pretend it's a sidewalk," she said, an exercise I found relatively simple because it was, in fact, a sidewalk.
Later I was telling her to pretend to be a pancake. They do this in swimming class, where she puts her head on her coach's shoulder and spreads her body out flat while floating on her back. "Pretend to be a pancake," I said.
She put her head on my shoulder and said, "Just don't put me on the grill, because then I'll get lots of burns and need some band-aids."
ETA: SWORD OF SIX WORLDS is now $2.99 on Kindle!
Dating Tips from 1946