This is the animal my 4 year old and I saw on the walk to school today

There was a light fog, and we saw this deer trotting along the road ahead of us. It looked like he was favoring his back right leg.

M was on my shoulders, so we stopped to look and I took this picture. I'm sure we looked like a terrifying two-headed monster and if the deer had a camera he probably would snapped a pic, too.

I said, "We must have scared him."

M: I don't think we scared him. It's probably all the Halloween decorations.

A good point from the four year old.

As we passed by him and headed toward the school he started huffing and trotting toward us. I started to think he might come after us. I figured I could get M into a nearby tree in time if he started to charge. But I really didn't want to fight him, because ever since my antlers fell off I've been afraid to fight deer anymore.

Anyway, I dropped M off at school and came out to find him waiting on the road. As I walked closer, he ran between two houses, jumped the chain link fence between them and disappeared. Yes, he jumped the chain link fence. He's an urban deer, I guess.

An unexpected animal knocking on the front door.

My friend Shasta allowed me to have this video of a squirrel knocking on her front door. There was the sound of strange scrambling on the screen door and this is what could be seen through the peephole:



Strangely, the squirrel did not come in for coffee, as one might expect:

Sharks. Why did it have to be sharks?

There is some mild language in this video, in which a shark tries to eat a fish off the fishing line of A MAN IN A KAYAK. I would have run across the water to that island in the background.



Just a reminder, my fear-of-animals list goes:

1. Sharks.

 2. Wolves.

 3. Sharks again.

 All other animals are fine by me. Although cobras could disappear from the earth without too much sadness on my part.

How about you? What's your animal fear chart look like?

via Neatorama

Wonderful Wednesday: The Cat Map

The London Zoo has created an interactive tool where you can list your cat on a world map. You can click around the world and see where kitties live and what their names are. The names of cats in Eastern Europe are particularly enjoyable. Have fun!

Now we just need a coyote tracker so I can keep my kitties safe.

More Wonderful Wednesday.

Dolphin asks for help from a diver

This is a really amazing news report on a dolphin who asked some divers for help to remove some fishing line he had become caught in. At one point, the dolphin has to surface for air, and then comes back to the diver to allow him to finish cutting the fishing line away.

Cat Arrested in South America for daring prison break attempt

You may have already heard about the recent incident where a kitty tried to break some people out of prison by packing in some files, a cell phone and so on. This "do it yourself" prison break kit was duct taped onto the cat.

Here's a video of the cat getting strip searched:



If that cat could speak, I'm 95% certain we would hear several of the following comments:

1) PLEASE DON'T USE DUCT TAPE when you put that stuff on me. Please!

2) Everyone keeps saying I can't talk. Did it ever occur to you that maybe I refuse to talk? Because I'm a tough guy? Because I'm not a stool pigeon? HUH? EVER THINK OF THAT?

3) Why do you keep calling me a "white cat"? That's racial profiling, man.

4) I don't understand. This totally worked last time.

I'm not sure what else the cat might say. What do you think?

My daughter says hilarious things when we see animals

At the Clark County Fair we saw an alligator snapping turtle, just laying in the water in its tank, its mouth wide open, wiggling its tongue around. I called my kids over... the turtle at the fair was much more disgusting than the one in the picture here. My 11 year old, Z, said something funny that I thought you would enjoy.

Me: See how its tongue looks like a worm? He just lays there underwater with his mouth open, wiggling that tongue, and when a fish comes along and bites his tongue, he snaps his mouth closed and eats it!

Z: That's disgusting.

Me: Yeah. Pretty awesome.

Z: Hey dad, what if there was a predator that ate humans and it had a really yummy looking hamburger for a tongue.

Me: Ha ha ha. That would be funny.

And, on further consideration... it would work.

Of course, in nature it might look more like this, which the more discerning humans would know to pass up:

Alright, people, be honest. What kind of food could a predator catch you with?

Wonderful Wednesday: Four Wonderful Things

Today at Wonderful Wednesday, I am sharing four wonderful things with you. One is a gift for you to take advantage of and pass along to all your friends. One is a sort of geek test I stole off someone's facebook. And two are wonderful things from the internet sent to me by the intrepid internet spelunker, Nurse Shasta.

NUMERO UNO:

For a limited time, in celebration of my second novel, Night of the Living Dead Christian, you can get the IMAGINARY JESUS e-book FREE.

At Amazon!

At Barnes and Noble!

At Christian Book Distributors! 

You can also buy Night of the Living Dead Christian as an ebook at Amazon, B and N, or CBD. You won't regret it.

And if you already love Imaginary Jesus, you'll also love the audio book. It's like a one-man play version of IJ, read by yours truly.



 NUMERO DOS:

 I hate to say it, but if you think this is funny without someone explaining it to you, you are an enormous Geek. I know that's a compliment these days, but it's true. I stole this from Greg Horton on Facebook.

 NUMERO TRES: 

The goats of Morocco like to climb trees. To eat berries. Silly goats! Berries are for kids!

NUMERO QUATRO:

Cows. Do they love remote controlled cars or fear them? This hard-hitting investigative video will answer that question and more:

Wonderful Wednesday: Lion Trying To Eat a Baby, Parents Laugh and Take Photos

Here's the video:



Apparently there's a whole genre based around large cats attacking kids through glass at the zoo. Which seems so ha-ha funny until the lions get out during some post-apocalyptic future and your kids think they are invulnerable to tigers or something.

When we lived in Asia, I had Z in one of those baby backpacks and we went to the local zoo, where the lion was held back from the visitors by a chain link fence. One day the lion looked right at Z and started roaring and then got into "pounce position." I didn't stick around to take pictures. We rapidly headed over to visit the monkeys.

Bold Links, complete with Exclamation Points (!)

KILLER ELEPHANT ON THE LOOSE!

BBC India reports that there is a serial killer elephant on the loose.  He has killed at least 10 female elephants and his signature kill has to do with puncturing his victims with a broken tusk. 

This sounds like a job for... BOBO THE DETECTIVE CHIMP!

If ever there were a time that the world needed a real, live detective chimp, this would be that time.

CONTROVERSY OVER CHURCH NAME SHORTAGE!

You've probably already heard all the controversy surrounding the shortage of church names.  This is by far the best article I've seen on the topic.  It's an important issue that all Christians should weigh in on.

AMAZING SHRINKING HORSE!

BHR correspondent @mrkengos writes in to tell us that horses are getting smaller all the time. Soon you will be able to carry them in a purse or handbag, or carry them on an airplane.  I would appreciate it if no one ever mentioned this to my children.

ROBOTS ARE DESCRIBING IMAGINARY JESUS!

At least I assume it is robots.  It might be poorly paid interns.  Regardless, you can see my careful study of the fruits of their labor here. 

GREAT NEWS!

Scientists report the first photos and video of a strange fish with a transparent head...

Or... dare I hope to dream... maybe my super powers are finally kicking in! YEEEHAAA!

Evil, evil butterflies

Check this out.

Moral of the story: Don't let butterflies near your babies. Or any queens you happen to know.

Also... GREEDY BUTTERFLIES! LAZY BUTTERFLIES! BAD BUTTERFLIES!

I would try to catch you to spank you but your crazy loopy-dee-loop leaf falling flight makes you too hard to catch.

NEXT TIME, SNEAKY BUTTERFLY! NEEEEEXT TIIIIIIIME!

A Fable by Z (and a friend from school): The Puppy and The Horse

Once there was a puppy named Spot. His best friend was a horse named Sparkles. One day Sparkles started to brag about how fast she could run.

"I can run faster than you can, Spot," Sparkles said.

Sparkles and Spot decided to run a race. Spot warmed up by doing excercises. Sparkles warmed up by running back and forth. When the race started Sparkles was too tired to run a race so Spot won.

MORAL: Don't brag and your life will be better.

Your Animal Lesson of the Day

This photo was taken by Jason Kottke, who says he is not one to typically be squeamish but he was wigged out when he saw this little fella on his garbage can. It's a Coconut Crab, native to Guam and other Pacific Islands. They are really that big. And yes, they can open a coconut with one swipe of their claws. When you take into account Guam's snake problem, it's no longer surprising that the Guam Tourism Agency has chosen this slogan to advertise their country: "What's the Matter? Are You Afraid or Something You Big Scaredy Cat?"


Now, to counteract the creepy factor on BHR today, here's a Mexican Walking Fish:







Awww, isn't it cute? It's a kind of salamander. Looks like a Pokemon to me! I CHOOSE YOU MEXICAN WALKING FISH!

See more strange, creepy, disturbing and rare animals here. Via Boingboing.

This is going to be the best 28 seconds of your day

Here's a video of two rabbits fighting. Until two chickens intervene and break it up.



via boingboing.

News from My Neighborhood

Man-Eating Kitten. I've mentioned the neighbor's cat, which stalks human beings like small prey. Lately, she's been getting bolder. Here she is, standing at our back door, daring someone to come out so she can eat them. Behold the hungry look in her eyes!

Salamander!

Our buddies in the Autum Film stayed with us a for a few days last week, and A and I took them out to Multnomah Falls. On the way out, at Latourelle Falls we saw a salamander, which was completely unexpected and yes, rad. That's right. Rad. It clambered out of the water so I could get a better picture, and then, with a smile and a wave it leapt off the side and back into the churning white water below.

Jack and Jills

Today at Grandma Traylor's birthday party, Krista's Aunt Sheila shared about some new arrivals in their neighborhood:

Sheila: Our neighbors just got seven new miniature donkeys. They're all pregnant, so everyone is excited.

Young boy (C): They're not all pregnant. One of them is a boy.

Z: I bet that one boy is the reason all the girl donkeys are pregnant.

Rex, the bi-lingual wonder dog

This is Rex. He is Carlos and Tatiana's dog. They've taught him to respond to English commands, and he understands Spanish, too. That's right. Even the dogs in other countries speak two languages. Plus Dog Language.

Underwater Bunnies

When I was in college, in my oceanography class, my professor showed us this science video that opened with a scene of a rabbit breathing underwater. It was sitting there in a tank, and bits of carrots were floating around and the rabbit was nibbling at bits as they came by. It was really weird and cool.

I was telling a bunch of my friends about this--yes, that means I was telling SOME OF YOU WHO ARE READING THIS RIGHT NOW about it-- and they mocked me. Mocked me!

I decided that a video of such astounding bizarreness should be on YouTube, so I looked it up as my friends watched on. Only to discover... nothing quite like what I was looking for. Which just goes to show you that you can't rely on the internet for everything. The mocking had to increase slightly at this point, and soon all you had to say for a laugh was "underwater bunny" and everyone fell into peals of laughter.

Like this:

Person A: Would you get me a glass of water?

Person B: Do you want a bunny in it?

I would like, however, to point out this gentleman. Here's a picture from one of his most famous experiments, which involved "liquid breathing" and mice. If you look at the abstract of Clark's report on this in Science magazine, you can see that he also experimented on cats.

Notice that the mouse is in the liquid in the picture at left. Yes, he is alive and breathing. And there are goldfish swimming in the fluid above him.

Not quite as good as a video of a liquid breathing rabbit, but I think we are on the right track here, wouldn't you agree?

P.S. If anyone knows where I can find a good video clip of, say, a rabbit practicing liquid breathing, please send me a link. Heh.