Here's something you can send to people who hate hearing "happy holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas."

Owen the bear says, "If you're a Protestant and serious about God, you should only say 'Merry Jesus Happy Time Day' this season."

Merry Christmas! Happy holidays! Peace on earth and good will toward people of good favor.

Merry Christmas, Little Pigs, little pigs

Merry Christmas everyone!

Right now 3 year old M and I are playing in a fort we made on the couch. It's not quite large enough for me to fit in (so I may have to stay in the stable).

Also, I think I have some catch up to do either with telling M more stories or working on her listening comprehension, because this is the conversation we keep having:

Me: Knock, knock.

Her: Who is it?

Me: The big bad wolf! Little pig, little pig, let me in.

Her (cheerfully): Okay!

Then the "door" swings open and she lets me in. Tomorrow's lesson: The three little pigs, natural selection and when to open the door.

But for today, it's Christmas! And even the big bad wolf should get invited in sometimes.

Okay, we're on our way out to a big Chinese meal for dinner! Merry Christmas!

More Christmas hilarity from my three year old daughter

Apparently my three year old had made herself an English muffin the other day. It was not split open and it was not toasted, but it was slathered with peanut butter and jelly across the top. She had taken one bite out of it and then left it sitting out on the counter all day.

I left this for you, Santa.

I asked her: M, are you done with this? Can I throw it away?

M: I don't want it. You can just leave it out for Santa.

Me: No, if you don't want it I'll throw it away.

M: Just leave it there and it will be gone in the morning.

Yes, that's right, kids. Every night when you go to bed, Santa comes and eats everything you leave on your plates. Then he washes your dishes and cleans the kitchen. He's a swell guy that Santa.

Wonderful Wednesday: Arnold's Christmas Party

This party looks crazy. I would go to a Christmas party reunion with these people.



My favorite part is when Arnold shares stories from the Old Country and talks about how Krampus came at Christmas and terrified the children.

My three year old and why she thinks she should get dressed up for Santa

Seems like Santa could get
dressed up a little bit too.

I came home last night and my three-year-old M was all dressed up in a shiny red dress. This is surprising, because usually she likes to wear a t-shirt and underwear and no pants.

I asked her why she was all dressed up, and she said, "For Santa." I asked her why she thought Santa wanted her to be dressed up, and she said, "Because if I dress up he will bring me the presents I want."

Hmmm. I might have to wear nicer clothes tomorrow.

Also, for some reason, M is very focused on what Santa wants her to wear. Also monsters.

Bethlehemenian Rhapsody

Christians can Christianize anything. Here it is... Bohemian Rhapsody redone as a loving Christmas song. Be sure to at least wait for the entrance of Baby Jesus!

Wonderful Wednesday: Awesome Christmas Flash Mob

I wish this would happen to me!

It's officially Christmas season! Yay!

This should get you ready. Not that this is strictly a Christmas song, but just pretend for a minute.

Ridiculous Reviewers on Amazon: Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol

Ahhhh, Christmas. The lights are lit, the bells are ringing, the children are singing, the average weight of adult Americans is creeping upward thanks to the cheery glow of the cookie-filled ovens. It's a wonderful time of year.

And, as if to make it more wonderful, it's time for another Ridiculous One Star Review from Amazon, these particular reviews for the holiday classic, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. For those who don't know, A Christmas Carol is the story of a miserly businessman who receives four ghostly visitors who help him to see the meaning of Christmas and the need to be generous toward those less fortunate than him. It's a fun story, and rightfully a classic. But that won't stop our reviewers! No! YOU CAN'T STOP US FROM RATING A CLASSIC WITH ONE STAR! This is, after all, America.

I'm saving my favorite review for last, but let's start with Chris Brown of Boston, MA, who says, in part:

There can be no arguing with Dickens's wish to show the spiritual advantages of love. But there was no need to make the object of his lesson an entrepreneur whose ideas and practices benefit his employees, society at large, and himself. Must such a man expect no fairer a fate than to die scorned and alone? Bah, I say. Humbug."

Uh-oh. Looks like someone is about to get a midnight visit from a deceased co-worker! I'm pretty sure the point, Chris Brown, is that Scrooge's practices weren't benefiting anyone other than himself. Remember Bob Cratchitt? Remember tiny Tim? Remember everyone else who ever crossed his path? 


Poodley Beagle Ellis (REAL NAMEtm) says it's "The stupidest, most confusing book in the world."  Wow!


But my favorite one star review came from John Doe of New Jersey, who said several things of note including:

Before reading A Christmas Carol, I automatically gave the book the highest regard probably because I was influenced by the Disney's movie version, at least that's what I thought the book will be like. It didn't turn out to be the case. 

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that the character
of Scrooge was not even a duck!

Yes, it's always a disappointment to fall in love with the Disney version and then discover that the original was different somehow.


John Doe goes on to complain about the "five dollar words" and that Scrooge gets hand-picked for a Christmas tour. John would prefer someone "worthier" be chosen. He also found the book "too religious." In a spiritual sense.


Lastly, Mr. Doe shares what I think is my favorite critique of the tale when he writes, "I didn't like the part where a character is judged by how he views money."  Alas, neither did poor Mr. Scrooge!


And that is all for today's One Star Review. Merry Christmas and a hearty BAH HUMBUG to all of you!

Baby M has a Christmas dance for you

Krista took this video of M dancing today, and I thought it was really cute. Just don't ask her to identify baby Jesus. She will ignore you. She clearly thinks that everyone already knows the answer to that question.

A Baby Jesus Emergency

Tonight the kids got out the Christmas Little People.  They don't really play with Little People anymore except on rare, special occasions.  But that is why tonight I could hear them playing increasingly raucous games which eventually led 6-year-old A to burst into the kitchen and shout, "Z KIDNAPPED THE BABY JESUS!"

What followed was a chaos of sudden kidnappings of beloved Christmas characters.  It started with the baby Jesus, but it wasn't long until Magi, elves and jolly St. Nick found themselves incarcerated in a plot more diabolical than anything the Grinch ever came up with.  Daring rescues were staged (with the most dramatic and successful one freeing two wise men) until I finally stepped in an put an end to it all, finding that my holiday cheer was being sapped out like Jack Bauer on Christmas Eve discovering that he has 24 hours to stop a plot involving a fat man with nuclear waste that he intends to drop down chimneys.  But in the end, I thought it was the price you pay when you buy your children toys of Bible characters.  You have to expect that the story will be tampered with at some point (Z, for instance, when A pointed out that kidnapping the baby Jesus was Pure Wrong Badness said, "That's not the baby Jesus, that's baby Jessica!").  But that's how the end of the game came to be, and now all the children are in bed and we are enjoying the Christmas tree and feeling guilty about the Christmas cards sitting on our coffee table, unsent. 

And, in a last, unrelated note, you'll see that the Fisher Price baby Jesus has blond hair.  Who knew? 

Wonderful Wednesday: Bored Shepherds

 And there were, in that same country, shepherds abiding in the fields...

Free (Good) Christmas Music

I don't know about your family, but in my family Christmas music is allowed to be played starting on Thanksgiving day and going through all the way until about December 31st.  Which means now is the time to start gearing up for Thanksgiving.

Friends of the Revolution, Page CXVI sent out a note a bit ago that there is a free download of a Christmas EP from Oh, Starling... I just downloaded it and I like it a lot.  Take a listen and then buy it, start a fire, put up your Christmas tree and bring me some figgy pudding.

Wow. I don't know what to say. Except that the envelope of weird has been pushed.

Please enjoy:

Children's Christmas Letters to Christopher Walken

I particularly like this one.

The Post of Christmas Present

Me: A, what was your favorite Christmas moment?

A: When all our friends and family came over to our house. WAIT! No, it was when Jesus came and died on the cross for our sins.

Me: That's very sweet, A. I meant your favorite Christmas moment from the last day or two.

A: Oh. Then it's when all our friends and family came over.

Me: Z, how about you? Favorite Christmas moment?

Z: When Mom said I could have two of her Breyer horses! And also when I got Dreamer (another Breyer horse).

The Post of Christmas Past

A couple of favorite BHR Christmas moments....

2007: What Christmas Means to Me

2006: The Christmas Hierarchy

2005: The Key to Christmas

BONUS: The Christmas-inspired moment that brought the Very First episode of Eavesdropping with Matt to the faithful minions here at BHR.

Christmas quote from Shirley Temple

"I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph."

Shirley Temple

A Christmas Ghost Story

One of the most famous Christmas stories, of course, is Dickens' A Christmas Carol. You can read the original here.

A Great Light

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light;
On those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.
You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy;
They rejoice before you as people rejoice in the harvest,
As men rejoice when dividing the plunder.
For as in the day of Midian’s defeat, you have shattered
The yoke that burdens them, the bar across their shoulders, the rod of their oppressor.
Every warrior’s boot used in battle, and every garment rolled in blood
Will be destined for burning, will be fuel for the fire.
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be upon his shoulders.
And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of his government there will be no end.
He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom,
Establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this.

A Christmas "What If?"

Here's an interesting article that asks the question, "Would Christmas have still come even if we had not sinned?"

It's worth a read.