Saturday, December 11, 2010

In which I (accidentally) humiliate a Portland Hipster

Last night Krista and I popped into Banana Republic while waiting for our office Christmas party to start at our friend's house nearby.  As we browsed the men's department, Krista would show me different bits of apparel and I would give my pronouncement on whether I liked it.  Like this...

Krista: What do you think of this shirt?  It's not really 'you' is it?

Me: If I were rich and lived on a sailboat and could wear white chinos and deck shoes with no socks all year, then I would gladly wear that shirt.

We wandered into the coat section, and Krista grabbed a coat that was thrown over the racks instead of on a hanger.

Krista: This coat is nice.

Me: Yeah.  If you're a girl.

Nearby (male) Hipster: Actually that's my coat. I threw it over the rack there while I was looking around.

Me: Uhhhh, sorry.

Krista immediately steered me out of the store and into another store, completely mortified.  And the hipster wandered the mall like a broken ghost, crying and wailing and embracing the deep sea of sadness that confronted him with the realization that I didn't understand him at all, not at all.