What was that sound? I'll tell you what that sound was.

At night, before my three year old (M) falls asleep, she often says something charming while she's tucked in and drifting off. 

M: What was that sound?

Me: It was the bed creaking.

M: No. It wasn't the bed creaking. It was a frog outside in the pond on a lilypad.

Me: Oh.

News From My Neighborhood

I'll have the frog's legs, waiter, but hold the frog's legs. The neighbor's kitten is growing up and prowling our backyard for snacks. I scared her off today to see what she was eating and discovered two frog's legs, crossed neatly like a fork and knife on a plate. Krista says this is proof that cats never need to be fed. I say it's proof that animals do not consider members of other species to be cute. Frogs are cute. Kittens are cute. But you put them together and someone is going to end up dead. Sometimes it's the frog, sometimes it's the kitten. Usually the frog, though.

Matt Vs. The Barf Fairy. The Barf Fairy visited our family this weekend, starting with an explosion of mango and yogurt from A. Within about five hours my stomach hurt, but I was determined to defeat the flittering little trouble-maker. This morning I could barely get out of bed, but I ate the traditional Honey Nut Cheerios breakfast in pure defiance. Followed by some more time in bed, working on our newsletter. Then I ate some toast. Tonight I was feeling well enough to make some homemade pizza. Tomorrow I'll either feel great or terrible. No middle ground for me!

But The Cat Came Back. Yesterday it looked like she was prowling after the kids. In fact, at one point, A started yelling at me to keep the cat away, because she thought it was going to attack her. It thinks it's a tiger or something. If it had another hundred pounds or so of weight there could be some real problems in this neighborhood.

I Gave You Life... I Can Take It Back Again. Our neighbor to the southwest spent a lot of time destroying his front lawn, cultivating the dirt and re-seeding the grass... only to fail to water it now that it's hot out. He's like a mad scientist, toying with life. He must be stopped.

The Plague of Grasshopper(s). I discovered a grasshopper in our house, happily perched on our walls which are painted "celery ice" green. I snagged it and threw it outside. I showed it to Z and she said, "Oh, I saw that go inside last night." Now I see another one (the same one?) on the wall again. Could it be another nemesis for me? As if Mad Scientist, Miniature Tiger and Houdini Dog are not enough! Can I be expected to add a Grasshopper to my Rogue's Gallery? And how will it contribute to the Mystery of the Squeaky Attic?

In Other News. No sign of Houdini Dog. He may have escaped for good this time. I shake my fist at you, Houdini Dog!

Guest Blog: If I Woke Up a Tree Frog

"If I woke up a tree frog, I would go to Disney World."

If you think about this, it's actually a pretty profound statement. If you wake up as some sort of animal it is likely that Walt Disney either had something to do with it or can turn you back.

A Story by Z: The Seven Friends

Here's Z's story, same basic exercise as A's:

Once upon a time there was a little frog that was red and yellow. One day she said, "I need a friend." So she went out of her coral reef home and swam up to the surface to find a friend.

Since she was in Africa she saw a jaguar. It said, "Do you want to be my friend?" She answered, "Yes!" So they played and played. But then one day they said, "Playing by ourselves is no fun." So they said, "Let's go find a friend." They looked and looked. But they couldn't find anyone in Africa.

So they had to go to Portland. There they found a wolf. She said, "I'm lonely. Will you be my friend?" They both answered, "YES!"

Just then a small tree frog began to look for food. She asked if they could be her friend. They answered, "Yes." Then they saw a white wolf. She said, "I'll be your friend, too."

Then they accidentally made a wrong turn and went back to Africa. They saw a sleeping lion. They were all not scared except for the little green red-eyed frog. She was afraid. She was not poisonous. She was not a meat-eater. She was the perfect snack for a lion. But the lion asked, "Can I be your friend, too?"

And they all answered, "Yes." Then they all went to the desert. And then they met a camel. She said, "I will be your friend, too."

They all had seven friends. They were all happy and didn't need any more friends.

The End.

Leap Frog

Last night that same frog was sitting on our front step. He was about a half inch from the front door, directly in the center of the door, facing inward. I had a good laugh about that, but quickly shut the door after leaping over him and into the house.

So far as I know he's still out there somewhere.

Frogs

Sometimes the frogs in our backyard sound so close.

Last night just before bed one hopped across our kitchen floor. A pretty good sized one, too! I opened the back door and helped him out, but I could tell the wintery air shocked him. He leapt back into the house, so I had to scoop him up and put him outside again.

Where was he coming from? How did he get into the house? We're not sure. My theory: he's a frog prince, but he couldn't get upstairs to the kids to get his kiss.

It's Frog Season

Z is afraid of bugs. Even flies. It's true.

But she loves frogs. She runs around our yard chasing them to catch them and put them in her frog cage. I don't let her keep them overnight anymore. I learned that lesson last year when she accidentally killed a couple of them.

So this week I told her, "Go on out there before dinner and let your frog go."

She went outside and grabbed her cage. I was at the kitchen sink and I happened to look out the window in time to see her throw something over the fence into the neighbor's backyard.

When she came in the house I asked her what she had been throwing over the fence. She just looked at me with this blank stare. "Was it a frog?" I asked.

So today was our lesson in how to release a frog. today's frogs were named Ruby and Star. First, she washed them with purified water (we're big believers in returning animals to the wild cleaner than when they were removed from the wild). Then she took them back to where they had been captured and released them near their "homes". She wants to start a list so she can make sure she doesn't accidentally catch one twice.

I've taught her to consider all of the frogs her pets once she releases them. They all belong to her, so she needs to take care of them.

That includes not hucking them over fences. I went upstairs to look out the window and make sure the neighbors weren't out there. I'd hate to have to go over and explain why my daughter was throwing frogs on them.

Viva la frogs!