Yahoo!

Here's the latest update on the novel word count:

33,412 / 100,000 (33.4%)

That puts me just barely over one-third of the way! Yeeha!*






*It's not a western, though.

Memorial Day

For all those who have gone before us by way of the violence or deprivations of war, we remember you and the lives you led. We pray for peace and for the return of the One who will bring everlasting peace to our lives, and justice to our world. He did not create us to die, but to live. Come, Lord Jesus!

Choose Your Own (Christian) Romance: Answer Key

Well, it's time to reveal at long last the "correct" answer to the choose your own Christian Romance game.

And the correct answer is -- drumroll, please -- B! That's right, "And as her true love pulled her into his arms for the sweetest kiss, Ashley was finally able to leave the past behind and embrace the future, as a woman, as a mother, and someday soon as a pastor's wife."

Mmmm, that's the good stuff!

Props to Jason and Hairy Dave, the truest connoisseurs of romance fiction, who sniffed out the answer to that one right away.

Eavesdropping With Matt (Episode fifteen)

Dedicated to the well-meaning eight-year-old girl at the Portland Zoo, who wanted my children to know the truth about the animals around them.


Z: Dad, look at the crocodiles!

A: And why are there fish in there with them?


Me: When the crocodiles get hungry they slip down there and eat some fish.


Z: Why?


Me: Crocodiles eat fish. Or, you know, pretty much anything that goes near them. Zebras, antelope, that sort of thing.


Eight-Year-Old Girl: That's not actually true, you know. Crocodiles are very gentle creatures.


Me: Is that right?


Eight-Year-Old Girl: Yes. Crocodiles will only attack if something tries to harm them. They are mostly vegetarian.


I gave that little girl my blog address and told her to look it up tonight. I wanted to be sure that she saw this picture of a crocodile eating a big bloody chunk of banana:





















Aw, alright kid, stop crying. Here's what really happens:



Crocodiles just like to suck on frogs and fish for the flavor. But they would never eat them.

Novel Thoughts

I've decided to work on my novel for a while this summer. I had set it aside for awhile to work on some short stories and things. I noticed my buddy Mir has a little doohickey on her blog that shows how many words she's written on her novel, so I thought I'd post one occasionally to show everyone how little progress I am making. I'm targeting about 100,000 words, so that means that I'm about 28% of the way done with my first draft... that's chapter sixteen. Just seeing that little bar makes me feel sad that it's so far from done... I had (originally) planned to have it done this spring!

28,686 / 100,000 (28.7%)

UPDATE: Well, we didn't watch any television tonight. Here's the fruit of tonight's labor on the novel. Not bad, about 1,600 words...

30,309 / 100,000 (30.3%)

LOST party update(s)

Well, this season's Champion LOST Predictor is our very own Angel Oh, with an astonishing 7 correct predictions about last night's episode. It's no big surprise, though. See how she is hugging that television? It is like a sister to her.

Fifteen of our regular and semi-regular LOST devotees showed up, and Angel beat out some tough competition.

But she is used to beating out competition, because she has her very own snowmobile accesories shop on the web, where she regularly beats the competition. It is true.

In other news, LOST is great. If you do not watch it, I pity you. I really do.

I would tell you all the other shows I think are great, but then you would pity me for watching that much television.

NOTE: I've placed the "predictions" quiz that Angel dominated in the comments section so you can peruse it at your leisure. We all filled out the quiz before the show came on. It was fun. There are spoilers in the quiz if you haven't started watching season three yet.

get LOST with the Mikalatos family

Tomorrow night is the LOST season finale.

So, we're hosting a LOST party at our house.

Come on by at 7 p.m. for dessert and to hang out, and then at 9 we'll let the "cone of silence" descend while we spend two hours bonding in the fifty year tradition of our nation: watching television.

BONUS: Before the show get your chance to fill out "Desmond's Season Finale Predictions". The person who has the most correct answers will be declared the Champion Lost Predictor until season four begins!

If you're in the Portland, OR area somewhere, feel free to come by. E-mail me at matt.mikalatos(at)gmail.com if you need our address!

Choose Your Own (Christian) Romance

Now's your chance to prove your chops as an editor. Below are three choices of story endings, one from a published Christian romance story, and two that have been invented by moi. Choose the "real" ending and vote in the comments section:

A) Roy pulled her close. "Now that you've rejected the lies of egalitarianism and have accepted the truth of the complementarian position, I think it's time for me to tell you... you are going to be my wife."

B) And as her true love pulled her into his arms for the sweetest kiss, Ashley was finally able to leave the past behind and embrace the future, as a woman, as a mother, and someday soon as a pastor's wife.

C) After crossing the prairie she had lost so much, but God had brought Brett into her life. His strong arms encircled her and she was reminded again of the safety of the circled wagon train. She had found home at last.

Get in a street fight with matt mikalatos

Well, folks, the official announcement for Coach's Midnight Diner is up. Turns out I wasn't supposed to say anything before the official announcement. But what do you expect from a tough guy like me? That I will just follow the rules? It is to laugh! Ha! Ha!



Ha!

Happy Mother's Day

A very Happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there.

Special thanks to my wife... I'm so thankful you're the woman our kids are privileged to learn from and emulate. You are a great Mom and I'm so thankful for you.

And to Janet... if I were choosing a wife based purely on who would be my mother-in-law, Krista would still be first choice. Thanks for your kindness and love to me. I'm so glad that you are such an involved part of our family!

And to my own Mom... I know the whole world sends you little thank you cards from time to time for bringing me into the world, but little do they know the trials and tribulations I've brought you over the years. Thanks for your patience and unconditional love and for being a great mom and grandma. I love you!

signs they are a changin'

I am in California right now. I saw a sign today that said:

TRAFFIC CALMING AHEAD

Can someone help me understand what this means? Feel free to leave your best theories in the comments section.

In other news, this greasy hamburger joint (NATIONS) has been replaced with a great Mexican restaurant called "El Belasco" or some such. It was great.

How Many Roads Must a Man Walk Down Before You Call Him a Man?

I had a pretty good travel day yesterday. I called Krista to tell her I had made it to Redding at one point, and she immediately asked me if I had been speeding.

Of course not!

I think the roads got shorter than last time or something. It probably also helps that instead of stopping to refuel I would pull up alongside tankers and fuel while driving. The driver would toss me a bag of tortilla chips to munch on for the next several hours.

Worst Thing about a day-long drive yesterday: NPR is having a pledge drive. You can only listen to those ringing phones for a finite amount of time. And then there's this nagging question... are there really people in the studio answering phones, or is it just a sound effect. It's almost enough to cause one to call them....

Let's Call The Whole Thing Off

If you haven't seen this story it's worth a quick read. It's sad (and also funny). An inter-faith soccer match had to be called off because the participants couldn't agree on conditions under which to play.

For extra hilarity, be sure to see the tactful and subtle illustration that the good folk at cbs have chosen for the story.

In other news, small Baptist churches everywhere are looking forward to this summer's softball season.

Big Wheels Keep On Turnin'

Tomorrow I head for California to meet with some of our current supporters and to meet others who are interested in joining our support team.

If you're looking for a new missionary family to support, here's a link for joining our team, or feel free to e-mail me at matt.mikalatos(at)gmail.com.

A Matt By Any Other Name Would Still Smell As Sweet

I've noticed that my name causes trouble for the casual reader. "Matt Mikalatos" too easily translates to "Mike." So I've been thinking of using a new name for my fiction. Or rather, just going by "Matthew" instead of Matt.

But I thought I'd give the BHR community a chance to vote. When you are reading a story by yours truly, what name would you prefer to see on the byline:

A) Matt Mikalatos
B) Matthew Mikalatos
C) Mike Mattalatos
D) Michael Connelly
E) (insert the name of your choice)

Feel free to vote in the comments section.

Kitty Cats

My daughter, A, snuck up to me, jumped in my lap and curled up.

Krista: Just like a cat.

Me (to A): You know, a cat jumps in people's lap just like that.

A: And they poop outside.

The Show-Me Kid

We were out working in the garden last night when several ducks flew overhead. I don't know what the heck these ducks are up to but they've been flying back and forth over our yard for a few days now.

Krista: There go the ducks.

Me: Yeah, they've been flying over our yard a lot lately.

Z: Oh, so ducks really can fly. Now that I've seen it I know that it's true.

The Toy Language: A Found Poem

In my freshman year
I learned Algol 68
the most academical
program language ever made
and Pascal
which was initially only intended
as a toy-language
for a compiler construction course.
La Revolution francaise!

Double your pleasure

Assuming that your pleasure involves reading my fiction.

I told you a while back that my story "The Deluge" was going to be published this July in "Coach's Midnight Diner." And that is still true.

But I got a call from Coach on Friday and he asked if they could also publish it in issue three of Relief Journal--which goes to press tomorrow--as a preview for the Diner. Of course I said yes.

So I e-mailed back and forth with Coach late into the night as we worked on getting the contract signed, writing the bio, finding a picture that really captures my features with the perfect combination of cool aloofness and pretension that serious writers must present. We finally decided on a picture of me wearing a top hat, an umbrella over one arm as I studiously read Ezra Pound's Pisan Cantos.

Why it is hard to raise an actress

I caught my daughter, A, standing in front of our full-length mirror in the hallway and "crying" and saying, "I want my daddy. I want my dada."

I asked her, "Are you practicing crying?"

She laughed hysterically and clapped her hands.

She's four years old and so many opportunities to pretend to cry are expanding into the future. And she'll be ready for them. So ready.

Free Comic Book Day

Yes, tomorrow isfree comic book day!

I'll be taking the kids to get their free comics after I go to the church men's breakfast and the kids' soccer games.

They are free!

Visual DNA

Okay, I first saw this on Ken's site and was going to try it out. But I never did. And then I got "tagged" by Jason. Then I realized that my public was going to demand this of me until I gave in. Ha ha ha!

So here it is:

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Signs of fatigue

This morning before my shower I put some shaving gel in my hand and suddenly realized I didn't know what it was for. About half a second later I remembered it was hair gel and started to put it in my hair. But before I put it on my hair I remembered it was shaving gel and put it on my face.

It's not good when you wake up that tired.

On the positive side, it's a good thing I didn't put it on my hair, because then I would have probably shaved my head this morning.

The New Wittenburg Door

The new Wittenburg Door is now available.

Included in this issue are two articles by some guy with the same name as me:

An "interview" with Superman in which we discuss "Superman Returns" and the value of advertising toward the evangelical community, as well as the upcoming sequel, the end times and whether I am smarter than Lex Luthor.

I also report back on the unlikely events that cause a men's retreat to kick out their own Bible teacher in "Men's Retreat Shocker."

I hope you enjoy them.

It's Frog Season

Z is afraid of bugs. Even flies. It's true.

But she loves frogs. She runs around our yard chasing them to catch them and put them in her frog cage. I don't let her keep them overnight anymore. I learned that lesson last year when she accidentally killed a couple of them.

So this week I told her, "Go on out there before dinner and let your frog go."

She went outside and grabbed her cage. I was at the kitchen sink and I happened to look out the window in time to see her throw something over the fence into the neighbor's backyard.

When she came in the house I asked her what she had been throwing over the fence. She just looked at me with this blank stare. "Was it a frog?" I asked.

So today was our lesson in how to release a frog. today's frogs were named Ruby and Star. First, she washed them with purified water (we're big believers in returning animals to the wild cleaner than when they were removed from the wild). Then she took them back to where they had been captured and released them near their "homes". She wants to start a list so she can make sure she doesn't accidentally catch one twice.

I've taught her to consider all of the frogs her pets once she releases them. They all belong to her, so she needs to take care of them.

That includes not hucking them over fences. I went upstairs to look out the window and make sure the neighbors weren't out there. I'd hate to have to go over and explain why my daughter was throwing frogs on them.

Viva la frogs!

The Inaccuracies of Accurate Concrete Cutting

Today Krista went with Z to the airport to pick up Krista's mom. On the way home (11:15 a.m.)a softball-sized chunk of rock flew out of the back of a truck from Accurate Concrete Cutting and struck the windshield. Krista was driving about 60, and a big cloud of dust and rubble accompanied the chunk of concrete. Here's what happened to the windshield:

Of course they were all frightened. I'm glad that the windshield didn't give in... I think evidence that God was watching over them. Krista sped up to try to get the license plate, but the truck was moving too fast... Krista sped up to 70 but couldn't catch them. They were moving back and forth between lanes, apparently in a big hurry. They did get the name of the company and a partial on the license plate.

So Krista's mom called the concrete cutting place and they were very apologetic and said, "of course we'll take care of it", they just needed to have the owner call us back. So I called our insurance. They were startled to hear that the concrete company had agreed to pay. "Usually they just say... you have no way to prove that came out of our truck, we weren't there at that time, things like that."

We called the police, too, but they said they only take reports if the damage totals more than $700. Which is fine.

So, the owner of the company calls and says that he talked to his drivers and they said they had been where we "claimed" to have been... an hour ago (it had only been about 20 minutes at this point) and that they had been "on site" since then. They also said that there had been a big logging truck that threw some stuff off on them and that maybe that had flown off, hit their truck and been thrown up onto our car.

I told him that the rock had clearly come from their truck and he said, "Sir, that truck was empty. They were on the way to a job. There was nothing in it. I had them pull over and look inside the truck and make sure, and it was empty."

Here we see several issues: 1) They had been "at the same place as us" an hour ago, while we were there about 20 minutes before. 2) They had been "on site" for the last hour. 3) He had called them and they had "pulled over" to check the bed of the truck. Seems like Mr. Owner could have at least had the respect to work on making a consistent story.

Anyway, I said to him, "I'm sure that the truck was empty. It was throwing out rocks all over the road." He told me again that it was empty. I said, "Are you telling me that it's a brand new truck that has never had anything in it?" He just kept saying it was empty.

In the end, it was clear that they weren't interested in taking responsibility for what had happened. I asked him if he wanted me to call him back with a quote for the windshield and he said "NO!" That was the end of the call.

So we had to report it through our insurance. I ended up driving in to Portland and getting it fixed. It cost us $100. It cost the insurance company about $150. It cost somebody at Accurate Concrete Cutting a bit of integrity.

Me, I'd rather spend $100 than lie or shirk responsibilites. Not that I know who is lying... the boss or the drivers of the truck or both. But somebody over there is not telling the truth, obviously.

I realized as I thought about it throughout the day several things.

1) I'm thankful that my wife and daughter and mother-in-law are okay.

2) It is unjust that my family and the insurance company had to pay for what happened. You know, I would have been open to splitting the cost with the company. I don't think what happened with the rock was malicious. Negligent, maybe.

3) The inability to take responsibility for your failings causes more problems. As the day went on, having to pay for the window seemed a lot less of a big deal compared to the thought that the owner may not talk to his drivers about going the speed limit on the highway. He might not make sure their trucks are cleaned out properly. And that might mean that someone could get hurt. I find that a lot more disturbing... that the lies and avoidance of responsibility may result in not taking dangerous behaviors seriously.

4) In the end, my anger has subsided into sadness about our human condition. Too often in my own life I've denied the "concrete rocks" that my failings in life throw out on those around me. And when I do that, those things can only continue.

5) It's tempting to sell your integrity for cheap. Don't do it. Your integrity is worth more than money. Remember that!

6) My family means more than money, too. I'm glad that the whole thing only cost me a couple of hours and a hundred bucks, and that my family is safe.

new devo

There's a new devo up on gnwstinters.com. Today's devo is from John Rozzelle. I think you'll enjoy it. Check it out.

King of the Road

If you want to see Jesus ride a bull, play soccer and rock climb, then you need to visit http://wearefishermen.com.
via The Wittenburg Door.

Please oh please don't cut my ears off

I got my hair cut this week.

My "stylist" was taking over for another stylist who had to go to the hospital.

Me: Why did she have to go to the hospital?

Stylist: Because she got a hair in her eye and scratched her cornea. She has a patch over her eye and can't take it off for 72 hours.

Me: Wow. I didn't know being a stylist was so dangerous.

Stylist: I know of at least three girls who have scratched their corneas in the last five years.

Me: That's terrible.

Stylist: You know what's terrible? I cut off my knuckle with the shears.

(She then proceeded to show me where she had sliced her knuckle off with the scissors. She had nine regular knuckles and one smooth, scarred knuckle.)

Stylist: These shears are pretty sharp.

7 days and counting

On May 1st the new issue of the Wittenburg Door comes out... with at least one piece by yours truly. Maybe even two!

I can barely stand the excitement. And I already know what I wrote! But I love seeing the new cover and the illustrations and seeing my name in print! Wheeeeee!

Not that I am easily entertained or anything. Ahem.

In which my daughter makes up a word that already exists

My daughter (A) likes to make up words. This morning she was wandering around the house singing and making up nonsense words.

Today she managed to make up one that is already a real word. She happened to like this word quite a bit and she said it a lot. I think it is her new favorite word.

The word?

"Fertility."

Virginia Tech blog and updates

Cynthia, a staff woman with Campus Crusade for Christ at Virginia Tech, has been putting some updates up about how their team and students are doing with the aftermath of the shootings this week.

Cynthia's husband, Paul, was in East Asia with me and Krista back in the day.

Feel free to drop by and share some love with Cynthia and the team.

Thanks.

A Stranger's Blessing

On the way to Z's soccer practice we have to stop on the highway offramp for a traffic light. Most weeks someone is standing at the bottom with a sign asking for money.

This week it was a guy in his forties, lean but well-kempt. He had the look of an ex-military guy. He was serious and looked vaguely humiliated to be out there with a sign.

I purposely drove up so I was past him, trying not to meet his eyes. He was standing alongside the car, looking off behind us. The light seemed to stay red forever, and every second that passed I was reminded of the cash in my wallet.

I had three dollars.

I rolled down my window and said, "Sir?"

He turned and looked at me, and I held the cash out to him. He reached over and took it, and looked me in the eye. "God bless you," he said.

"God bless you, too," I said. He stopped and moved back over toward the window.

"No, I mean it," he said. "God bless you."

"Thank you," I said. I had a feeling that he really did mean it, that his words were not some equivalent to "thank you" but a blessing, a true prayer for God's provision and care in my life. I sensed that I had received something from him far more valuable than three dollars and that my "thank you" was not really sufficient for what he had given me. I knew I should say something more, should let him know that his prayer was appreciated, that it meant something to me, that he had ministered to me in way that mattered more than three slips of paper.

And then the light turned green and he disappeared in the rearview mirror.

An important lesson from this week

So, completely on accident and at the age of 32, I suddenly discovered this week that you can taste things with the underside of your tongue.

First, I took a salty tortilla chip, lifted my tongue and stuck it underneath, being certain that it didn't touch the top of the tongue. I held it under my tongue and discovered that I could definitely taste the saltiness of the chip. In fact, it tasted great!

I haven't experimented with other taste sensations yet (sweet, sour, etc.) but I will get to work on it and keep you updated.

New Devo

My wife has written up some devotional thought that you can see here, on the stint team leader's blog.

Enjoy!

P.S. Yes, I know how fortunate I am. So stop sending me all those e-mails asking me if I know.

Prayer Requests from Virginia Tech

As many of you know, I work with Campus Crusade for Christ. We have a staff team at Virginia Tech, and today they sent out some prayer requests for them, their students and their campus.

Here they are:

1. The families of the students who were killed

2. The students who were injured and still in the hospital

3. 4 students that were involved with Campus Crusade were killed. Please pray for their families and friends.

4. Survivors of the shootings who witnessed the horrors of that day. Pray for God¹s grace and comfort

5. Pray for wisdom for the CCC Staff and other campus ministers and pastors as they seek to counsel and love the hurting students

Many people around the world have set apart some part of tomorrow (Thursday) to pray for people impacted by the events at VT this week. If you have some time you are willing to set aside and you're one who prays, I am certain they would appreciate your prayers.

Yesterday

Flowers cut and brought inside
Black cars in a single line
Your family in suits and ties
And you’re free

The ache I feel inside
Is where the life has left your eyes
I’m alone for our last goodbye
But you’re free

I remember you like yesterday, yesterday
I still can’t believe you’re gone, oh…
I remember you like yesterday, yesterday
And until I’m with you, I’ll carry on

Adrift on your ocean floor
I feel weightless, numb, and sore
A part of you in me is torn
And you’re free

I woke from a dream last night
I dreamt that you were by my side
Reminding me I still had life
In me

I remember you like yesterday, yesterday
I still can't believe you're gone
I remember you like yesterday, yesterday
until I'm with you, I'll carry on
I’ll carry on

Every lament is a love song
Yesterday, yesterday
I still can’t believe you’re gone
So long my friend, so long

by Switchfoot's Tim and Jon Foreman

Unseen Movie Review: Underdog

Here at BHR we like to occasionally review movies that we have not seen. It's completely unfair and also fun.

Tonight's movie: Underdog.

Watch the trailer and then read on, MacRuff.



I am not the target audience for this movie, despite certain evidences to the contrary. The target audience is, I am guessing, eight-year-old boys. And I am reasonably certain that they will think it is somewhere between mediocre and okay.

The problem is that even this trailer is inherently unfunny... and trailers tend to try to take the best parts of a movie and squeeze them into a short space. I am not sure why a movie that is targeted at kids is making rather lame attempts at humor by imitating the 1970's Superman movie. Which is a great movie. In fact, the scene of Underdog talking to the "cat burglar" is pretty much a direct rip-off from that movie. AS is the Brandoesque voice over. But what eight year old is going to think that's funny?

The tagline for the film is blatantly offensive to me: "One nation under dog." The pun is not only common but also, once again, unfunny. If you're going to offend people, at least have the good grace to be entertaining while doing it. These are the sort of gems you will be missing when you, like me, stay home from the theaters for this one. Lazy, pedestrian writing.

A couple of predictions for you: this movie will have a few laughs. I am predicting three. The rest of the movie will be crap. And I imagine many of the jokes will involve crap. Dog pee. Perhaps sniffing people's rear ends.

And now, a special treat for you, my faithful BHR readers. I have included a complete cartoon from the ORIGINAL (and funny) Underdog cartoon. I laughed out loud several times while watching this. You will laugh, too, even if you are reading this from prison. "What's to laugh at in prison?" you ask. Watch and learn:



Ha ha ha! Now that's comedy.

Rest In Peace, Kurt Vonnegut

No doubt you've already heard about Kurt Vonnegut's passing.

If you've never read Vonnegut, it's not too late to jump on the bandwagon. Artists always want to know if their work will outlast them, so it's a pretty nice-but-belated gift to Mr. Vonnegut.

I'm partial, myself, to Cat's Cradle as well as Slaughterhouse Five, the full title of which is Slaughterhouse Five; or, The Children's Crusade: A Duty-Dance with Death, by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., a Fourth-Generation German-American Now Living in Easy Circumstances on Cape Cod (and Smoking Too Much) Who, as an American Infantry Scout Hors de Combat, as a Prisoner of War, Witnessed the Fire-Bombing of Dreseden, Germany, the Florence of the Elbe, a Long Time Ago, and Survived to Tell the Tale: This Is a Novel Somewhat in the Telegraphic Schizophrenic Manner of Tales of the Planet Tralfamadore, Where the Flying Saucers Come From.

I think that title alone tells you why I liked him. Try out Mother Night, too. And hey, while you're at it you may as well read Welcome to the Monkey House.

Here's the most recent interview with Vonnegut I could find. And, just for kicks, here's a list from wikipedia where Vonnegut graded his own books in one of his books (Palm Sunday):

Player Piano: B
The Sirens of Titan: A
Mother Night: A
Cat's Cradle: A-plus
God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater: A
Slaughterhouse-Five: A-plus
Welcome to the Monkey House: B-minus
Happy Birthday, Wanda June: D
Breakfast of Champions: C
Slapstick: D
Jailbird: A
Palm Sunday: C

And so it goes.

Switchfoot: new "Awakening" video

As you all no doubt know, my Official Favorite Band is Switchfoot.

Band member Tim Foreman dropped me an e-mail today and asked if I would be willing to post their new video here at the Burning Hearts Revolution.

"Of course, Tim," I replied.

I think you'll enjoy it.

Tim also said, "The most challenging and time-consuming portion of the video was the creating of the 'animated' television. To create this effect, we printed out each individual frame (24 frames per second -- that's a lot of frames!), and then hand-ripped each person from each frame, placing each frame sequentially after the other to re-create the action (think claymation with photos!). This technique has actually never been done before, and took a total of 8 days, with 10 to 20 people working around the clock."

So, without further ado:



P.S. Okay, okay, Tim didn't just write me. I happen to be in the fan club. Yes, it is true.

So if you want to see all of Tim's comments, or you want the code to imbed the video on your blog or MySpace, here's Tim's post.

The Grave Robber

Studying Hebrew has really brought a lot of strange things to light for me.

One of these is the grave, or Sheol. I've thought about this a lot today, because it's Easter, the traditional celebration of Messiah's victory over death and the grave, Sheol.

In my mind, Sheol has always had the connotation of a sort of grey, dusty land. Everything is one color and the spirits wander about somewhat dispassionately. But while translating Jonah this semester I learned that's a very different concept than what ancient semitic peoples would have thought of when they talked about the grave.

After Jonah has been swallowed by the fish, he says in his prayer (2:3), "I cried in my distress to the Lord and he answered favorably. From the belly of Sheol I cried for help and you heard my cry."

Have you ever noticed the personification going on there? Sheol has a belly. It's always swallowing people and things. Sheol is Death and is described in ancient semitic myth as having, "a lip to the earth, a lip to the heavens... and a tongue to the stars." He has a constant hunger for the souls of men, and Death says, "My appetite is the appetite of lions in the waste... if it is in very truth my desire to consume 'clay' then in truth I must eat it by the handfuls."

Death and Sheol are terrifying, unstoppable forces before which we are only clay. There is no way to fight, no way to escape. They reach to the stars themselves and before them we have no choice but to fall into the maw of death.

And that is where messiah comes with his good news. He has been anointed to preach good news to the poor, he has been sent to bind up the brokenhearted. He has been sent to announce freedom and a release from darkness for the captives! To proclaim the time of God's favor toward us, to comfort us when we mourn, to provide for our grief and to give us crowns of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning and to clothe us in praise instead of despair.

He has taken Death's teeth. He has robbed the grave. He has destroyed terror and replaced it with his love.

"When my life felt weak, I remembered the Lord. My prayer, my God, went to your holy temple. Those who intently watch worthless vanities abandon their devotion. But I, with a voice of thanksgiving, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will repay. Salvation comes from the Lord."

NOTE: If you're interested in the notes on Sheol or the quotes from Death, you should buy this book. And the text we've been using in my class to walk us through Jonah is this one.

My children respond to Star Wars (Episode IV)

My kids watched Star Wars for the first time in their young lives. They had many excellent comments to share, but here are my two favorites.

Z, our five (almost six) year old was mostly interested in the Princess angle. Lots of questions about Princess Leia. Also, because I've told them the Star Wars stories before, a lot of questions like, "Does that mean that Luke Skywalker is a prince?" But her best comment was from when she first saw Princess Leia and she said, "Princess Leia has beautiful brown hair like me."

A, our four year old, was reasonably convinced that Star Wars was meant to be a comedy. She told me multiple times that the movie was alernately boring or funny. The boring parts seemed to be the ones that she deemed "serious." The funniest moment in this side-splittingly hilarious comedy came when Luke and Han, disguised as stormtroopers, take Chewbacca into the detention center to free Princess Leia. Then they start shooting everything, and they throw Chewie a rifle and he starts shooting everything, too. Here were A's comments on this:

A: HA HA HA HA! That is funny! Even the dog is fighting.

Me: That's not a dog, that's Chewbacca.

A: The dog's name is CHEWBACCA? Ha ha ha! This movie is VERY funny.

First Soccer Game

This morning we schlepped through the mud and rain to Z and A's first soccer games.

Krista took some pictures, which you can see on her blog:

First Throw In
Lucky Lizards
Purple Panthers
Off To Lunch
The Fans

It was actually a lot of fun. A did cry a couple of times because a) her shirt is green and b) "I looked over and Mommy wasn't watching me". Mommy wasn't watching because both games were taking place simultaneously and she was running back and forth trying to get pictures of both.

Because it's a "fun" league, Z's coach had to keep taking this one kid out of the game because he kept scoring all the time. Their poor competetion really wasn't much competition.

Both our kids did a good job, so we went out for lunch with Grandma and Grandaddy afterwards, and then this afternoon we went to the zoo for an easter egg hunt. That was fun, too. Then Krista and Kerri went out to a play and the kids and I came home, ate pizza and then we watched Star Wars together. It was their first time seeing it.

And now all is quiet. So I turn to you, my beloved but scattered community. Thanks for tuning in for the rambling family share time.

Yes, it is mandatory for both good taste and etiquette that you now say nice things about a) my children, b) my (or Krista's) parenting, c) soccer or d) Star Wars.

Soccer

My kids started soccer this week.

Soccer with 4 and 6 year-olds is funny.

First, a butterfly can derail an entire game (or practice) as the children abandon the soccer balls and chase after creation. I sort of like this, and would like to see a "butterfly rule" incorporated into the World Cup.

Second, the league we're a part of is a "fun league" meaning that we play for fun and the building of self-esteem (we voted on whether to buy trophies at the end of the season). So every kid plays at every game and I think they rotate through the positions.

I noticed, though, that the coaches have very different styles. Z's coach is a woman, and she focuses on having fun and building skills. I honestly don't know what will happen when Z has her first game next week, because I'm not sure she understands how to play.

A's coach is a very serious man, who focuses on... GOALS. "Take this ball to the end of the field, then come back and kick it... into the goal. Now let's pretend that the balls are easter eggs and the goal is your basket. Put your eggs... in the basket." Then there was a scrimmage. Which at this age is basically a mob surrounding a ball which occasionally makes some sort of motion toward the goal.

Other favorite kids' soccer rule: "If someone is lying on the ground, everyone stops kicking until they stand up."

The Blessings of Our Churches

We are extremely thankful for our churches.

Here in Oregon/Washington we go to the Village. There are a lot of reasons that we love Village. One is the amazing multi-cultural body represented in the congregation. We also have enormous respect for the pastoral staff. Pastor John Johnson brings amazing messages from the word every week, and the worship pastor, Dean Christensen, has deep convictions about worship and he leads us well. We are amazed by the continual commitment of this church to reach their community, and it's a place that we feel very comfortable bringing our friends and family to.

In California we have NorthCreek church, another amazing church with pastoral staff that we respect and have learned a lot from over the years. Dr. Jon McNeff has taught us a lot from the word, and Hal Kemp continues to minister to us and share wisdom as the missions pastor. I have a lot of great history with some of the other staff, including Tony "The Polar Bear" Aria.

These churches have really been places of refreshment and spiritual growth for both of us. I wanted to share this publically this week. I don't have a lot of patience for people who stand outside the church and throw sticks and stones at the pastoral staff. It's a ridiculous and disrespectful action.

Especially after living for three years in a country where people are glad just to be able to get in the same room and worship Jesus, we are so thankful to be part of two churches which are seeking to follow Christ and be a reflection of him to the world.

April 1st

April Fool's Day.

My kids somehow got it in their head a year or so ago that it's funny to say, "There's a spider on your head!" the entire day. Ho ho ho. It is to laugh.

Here is Gmail's little joke for the day. I'll say, though, that if they weren't joking, I would actually use this service. It would be nice to print off, say, novels and other writings and have them delivered to your door.

Meanwhile, Google has just introduced the Toilet Internet Service Provider.

Anyway, a big hardee-har-har to google and gmail, and remember kids, keep April first safe and honest.

SWITCHFOOT

I think it's time for you to get some free, legal Switchfoot music.

They're uploading songs from their current tour.

Go get some!

beautiful lovely taxes

I did our taxes yesterday.

One of the strange things about living in Washington and working in Oregon part of the time is that I get to pay taxes to the government of Oregon, although I didn't vote for any of the government's representatives and, in fact, have no voice within that government. I do receive some of the benefits of that government-- the roads that I drive to work being the most obvious--but I have no ability to vote, no representative within the administration and no way to become represented.

This is what we call "taxation without representation."

Solution: I guess I'll go down to the river on the Oregon side, shoplift a couple of boxes of tea and throw them in the river.

Okay, okay, I'm kidding. I'm more of a mindless obedience type when it comes to paying taxes. Or, as they would have no doubt called me two hundred years ago, "a Loyalist."

Why I Love Democracy

Presidential candidate Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey has threatened to "impale" President Bush after he is elected.

Sharkey is a self-described "satanic vampire". The secret service is checking in on him.

Law Professor Neil Richards asks the astute question, "'If he's a vampire, why is he the one staking people? Shouldn't he want to bite the president and feed on him?"

Sharkey has a very compelling platform. He plans, for instance, to remove every Supreme Court Justice and replace them all with Alan Page. As for a running mate, he has it narrowed down to Christine Todd-Whitman, Hillary Clinton or Elizabeth Dole.

In other news, Sharkey only dates "models or women who look like models." I was going to put a link to Sharkey's website, but I wanted to keep it funny rather than sad.

And now you all have just a little insight on what it's like to work in a comic book store.

In Which I Learn The Pecking Order

A: Daddy, why did we get two green lights?

Me: I don't know. Maybe so I can get you to school on time.

A: I guess only God knows why we got two green lights.

Me: I guess.

A: And Mommy.

istanbul pictures

My darling wife has put some of her pictures from the Istanbul trip up at her blog. Enjoy!

The Kind Crab

Once upon a time there was a kind crab. The crab helped an eel. The eel was happy. The eel thought she would do something to do for the crab.

And Now a Word From Our Sponsor

Cola Turka. The Turkish Cola.

I would like to be the new spokesperson. Our slogan: "Even Greeks like it!"

New Keychain

We were so impressed with the keychains at our hotel in Istanbul that I just had to get one for myself.

A Very Special Homecoming

We knew that everyone missed us last week while we were in Turkey. Even the neighborhood cat!

That cute little bundle of fur brought us a welcome home gift. It was a mouse sans head. As I'm sure you know, this is cat-speak for, "I love you so much that I have killed something in your honor and only eaten part of it."

Luckily, my mom made us dinner so we didn't have to partake of the feline generosity left beside our porch.

And, as if in our honor, last night's episode of LOST was quite good.

Today

Our meetings are over, and Krista and I are headed over to Europe again today. We're without translators or people who have lived here, so today will be purely what we can do with our phrasebook and tour book.

Right now we're thinking about going to the Topkapi Palace and the Galata Tower. We'll let you know how it goes. We haven't been able to get pictures to load correctly, but we'll get some pictures up when we get home.

Lost in Translation

It's amazing the number of western chain restaurants that are here in Istanbul. There are over 40 Starbucks, and an uncountable multitude of McDonald's, Burger Kings, Pizza Huts and even Arby's.

Last night we went to a local mall and I bought a milkshake at Burger King. Krista noticed that their version of "Kid's Club" here in Turkey was called "Chub City."

Now that's truth in advertising!

Typical Breakfast in Istanbul

Olives, fresh cheese, raisins, pizza and cigarettes.

greetings from Istanbul

We arrived safely in Istanbul last night. We met up with our friend Ron at the Frankfurt airport, flew to Istanbul and caught a taxi to go from the airport in Europe to our hotel in Asia.

By the time we crossed the Bosphorus the sun had set and the bridge and a hundred mosques were lit by floodlights. We moved into our hotel and set out to have our first Turkish meal.
We started with a tasty sort of burrito/sandwich called a durum… lamb, pickles, tomatoes and lettuce wrapped in a tortilla. I thought I would try the mysterious white drink called ayran, because you never know when culinary bravery will reward you with a new favorite food or beverage.

Ayran turns out to be a thick white drink made with sour yogurt and salt. It’s not a favorite. But you should still try it when you come, you might like it, who knows?

We rewarded ourselves with some excellent pistachio baklava. Before we figured out how to ask for our check, our friend Dave showed up. Dave used to live here so he took us on a little walking tour of the neighborhood (called Kodikoy). There are 2.5 million people in the neighborhood here.

Dave says that although Istanbul is called the “City of a thousand mosques” that he thinks a more accurate name would be “the city of a thousand churches with mosques built on top of them”. I thought that was interesting.

We also learned about the heavy influence of Turkish culture on C.S. Lewis (“Aslan” means “lion” for instance). By 11.30 we were tired, so we headed for bed.

We woke up this morning to a breakfast of fresh cheeses, various olives, raisins, and pizza. Krista and I went off and took some pictures this morning, and in a little bit we’ll take the ferry across to the European side of the city and go to the Grand Bazaar.

We’ll post again soon and keep you all in the loop!

Mikalatos Travel Tip #1

Never. never smell the free blanket on the airplane.

for John Rozzelle

This photo reminds me of my relationship with God because it reflects the adventures he takes me on, the power and speed with which we travel. We're outlaws according to the world, functioning by a set of rules outside of and incomprehensible to them. I only answer to him and his line of authority. And the skull and crossbones on the back show that I am not afraid of death. I am part of his gang and thus I'm one of the most powerful people on earth.

Istanbuuuuuuuul

Krista and I leave today for Istanbul. We'll be gone a week. It's a modern city with lots of internet hookups. I think. So don't worry, you'll get updates.

In the meantime, you should check out the Istanbul live traffic cams. Don't let the turkish instructions fool you, just click on the links on the right side of the page. And I promise that if I see any traffic cameras while I am in Istanbul, I will stop and wave. So you just might see us if you click the right camera at the right moment.

And, for your reading pleasure, here's wikipedia's Istanbul article.

See ya soon!

Found Poetry: Far From Day

Of a far barn, just where the road curves
sharply for a few weeks,
in the dread circle
hemmed by glaciers.
I see the line
between the outside
and this room
in stone waves
and rock waters,
far from day.

Hebrew Midterm

93.25%!

Hip hip... Hooray!

כִּי מֶלֶךְ כָּל־הָאָרֶץ אֱלֹהִים זַמְּרוּ מַשְׂכִּיל׃

CAPTAIN AMERICA IS DEAD for now

If you haven't already heard, Steve Rogers, aka Captain America was shot to death right where he ought to be safest... in his very own comic book.

Good old Cap started out beating up Nazis back in the old days and went on to be a founding member of the Avengers and to star in several awful television movies.

Now, one thing I love when a comic book character dies, is that if they are well-known enough, it actually becomes news!

Sad comments are made. The blogosphere lights up with angry fanboys! Well. Not really. Anyone who has read comics for long at all realizes that Cap will be back. This is because it is very hard to stay dead in Comic Book Land. When you live in a world where a radioactive spider might give you super powers, and getting caught at a bomb testing site without a radiation suit might turn you into a hulking monster, it's hard to keep yourself in the grave.

Remember the death of Superman? What's that you say? He's back, you say? You mean... it was all a ploy to get attention from the mainstream media and the plan all along was to bring him back to life?

Yup, that's right. It's all to sell books, my friends. Captain America will return. Probably on July4th. Until then, I leave you with the cover of Cap's first comic. Take that, Hitler!

The Frightened Ship

I've finished my translation of Ruth from Hebrew to English and have learned a lot, and now I'm diving in to Jonah. I've already learned some interesting things. I thought I'd share a few here from time to time.

Numero uno, in Jonah 1:4 a literal translation would say something to the effect of, "And the Lord hurled a great wind at the sea, and there was a great storm on the sea and the ship thought it would be broken."

Did you see that little bit of weirdness at the end there? The ship is personified. The ship looks around at the winds and the waves and says, "Yikes! I am about to be destroyed!"

I like that. It's been completely washed out of any translation I've ever looked at. The author of my workbook (Chisholm) says that it's a dramatic point designed not only to show the severity of the storm, but also to drive home the fact that everyone and everything is reacting to God-- the wind, the ocean, the sailors, the captain and even the inanimate ship-- everyone and everything except Jonah, who is sleeping below deck.

I like to think that it's part of the comedy, too. One thing I can't get past as I read Jonah in Hebrew is that it's meant to be funny, at least in places. I think the thinking ship is part of the hilarity.

God Save the Queen

As many of you know, today is the birthday of Her Royal Highness, Alexis Youngs. Please note the spectacular photograph to your left, which truly fails to capture her resplendent glory.

In honor of Her Royal Highness, I am officially declaring the next seven days here at BHR to be the Her Majesty Alexis Youngs Celebratory Week of Congratulation and Adoration.

Ways that you can join us in celebrating the birthday of She Who Must Be Celebrated:

1) Leave a comment, a poem, or a celebratory paean of delight here on this post

2) Steal the photo above and make a post upon your own blog.

3) Go to her Royal Blog and leave lavish words of praise upon her comments

4) Make a fan club on facebook

5) Make a fan club in the real world

6) Send her $100 for every year old that she is

7) Fly to Croatia and buy her lunch

8) Or you could buy her an expensive pony

9) Call her on the phone and say, "God save you, Dear Alexis! Happy and glorious, long may you reign over us! O Lord, our God, arise and scatter her enemies, make them fall! Confound their politics, frustrate their knavish tricks!" (et cetera)

10) My original plan for Alexis' birthday was to stage an elaborate ballet. Krista was going to take pictures of it. I was going to be the main dancer (or whatever). But then I thought of this and Krista said this was better.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

The Pony and the Wolves: Chapter 2

And she ran and she found a cave. She ran in there. She felt safe. Outside were the wolves. The wolves were hungry. The pony was scared of the wolves but she was safe.

A story from A

Not wanting to be outdone by her sister, A is now dictating a story for your pleasure.

CHAPTER ONE

First there was a little nut that loved to slide down the slide and then it would climb back up and slide back down again. Then a beautiful fairy came and said, "Do you want a ride?" and then some pegasuses said, "Why don't you have a ride on us, too?"

"Okay," the nut said.

The end.

Continued next week.

Welcome Home Mikalatos

I can tell you all missed me. All the comments and questions... "Where are you?" "Are you okay?" "Time for an update!"

Well, I'm back. And since I haven't been blogging, I thought I'd send you over to the blog of my boss. That's right. My boss has a blog. He's been calling me "Blogalotos" all week. So, please be sure to stop by and leave a comment for Keith Blogalo. He's swell.

In addition to not blogging, I've also been not writing. I know what you're thinking: How does he have time to not do so much? It's a gift, my friends, a rare and much envied gift.

But my daughter, Z, wrote the first chapter of a story tonight. She said I could share it here if I promised to fix all her spelling errors. So, here it is:

The Pony and the Wolves: Chapter One

Illustrated by Z

Once upon a time there was a pony. And she grazed in the grass. And she grazed and she grazed and she grazed but wolves came.

Tune in tomorrow for chapter 2.