Family, friends, family friends, friendly family

We had a sort-of reunion on Wednesday night, with Big John, Joe, myself, Krista, Z, Cecily, Jesse and Lynnette. All former members of the EA crew.

Kerri and Mom and Dad came out, too.

A good time was had by all.

The children stayed up late.

The adults stayed up late. We basically acted like children, and it was wonderful and fun.

new Story

Hey, friends. The Sword Review, a Christian speculative fiction magazine, has just posted my story, "Chariots." Enjoy.

P.S. I told you that this was Science-fiction week at BHR, didn't I?

How I feel today

I feel as if I am preparing for a journey on foot. There is sadness for things that must be left behind, but joy in the road stretching out ahead.

I sense that a half-filled rucksack sits by the door, a few provisions stacked inside, a few more on the kitchen counter.

I expect the path will wind down through the cool dark of unexplored caverns, and that the reward will not be increased knowledge, but a sense of awe, an increase in wonder.

There are sparks of coming transformation thick in the air. There is uncertainty about the destination, but trust in the guide.

I am told that the journey will not end in a cavern, but will wind somehow to a tower overlooking the sea.

But mostly there is a feeling of anticipation, of embracing this path like an old friend, and the comforting discomfort of the road.

Where's Weirdo?

I stole this picture from stint team leader's training from Jessica. See if you can find me. Hint: look for the biggest smile. Click on the photo to make it larger.

Other people to look for that you might know: Alexis, John, Emily, Bryon, Peter, Jen, Dan Weidner, Andy McCullough.

It's Science-Fiction week at the Burning Hearts Revolution

It's science fiction week at the Burning Hearts Revolution. Okay, well, maybe not sci-fi week, but I *did* post about the coming technology singularity yesterday and that has to count for something. Also, I need an excuse to post the most impressive photo above. Yaaaahooooo! I don't know what the heck it is from, but I do know that I need to see that movie, and I need to see it NOW!

Some friends of mine are doing reviews this week of Christian Fandom, a Christian website that runs reviews, commentary, fan fiction and whatnot of various genres of literature, including, of course, science fiction and fantasy, even horror. I thought a couple of you out there (particularly those out in the middle of India) might find the website interesting, helpful, infuriating, entertaining or the-thing-you-always-wished-for-when-you-wished-on-wishing-stars.

There are a bunch of my buddies writing about the site this week (yes, it's a blog tour my friends) including:

Becky (she's on an angry rampage, watch out!)

Carol Collett

Valerie Comer

Kameron Franklin

Beth Goddard

Rebecca Grabill

Leathel Grody

Karen Hancock

Elliot Hanowski

Katie Hart

Sherrie Hibbs

Sharon Hinck

Pamela James

Tina Kulesa

Shannon McNear

Mirtika Schultz

Stuart Stockton

Speculative Faith

Yup. Blog tour. So, spin the magic needle and see what these bold and fascinating people will say. Or say something yourself. Or maybe you'll get a boring link, who knows? It's like roulette. I know you want to. Go ahead and click on one, it's fine. Go! GO AND THEN REPORT BACK TO ME, MY MINIONS!

Seriously, get out of here.

Waking Lazarus-- review

I've been meaning to write a review of T.L. Hines' "Waking Lazarus" for quite a while now, and I keep not doing it. So here it is, at last. You can call it a supernatural thriller. You can call it "crime fiction with a supernatural twist". You can even call it (*gasp*) Christian fiction. I know, I know. But it's good! No, really.

Okay, here's the deal: Jude Allman has died three times. Now a recluse living in Montana, he begins to wonder if the recent rash of child abductions is somehow connected to his mysterious deaths and resurrections. Could it be that there's a purpose to his life, and that he is here for a reason? Could Jude be the only one able to stop the creepy bad guy who is preying on young kids? Of course he could!

Anyway... I read this book in a day and a half. It is one of those "couldn't put it down" type books. And I have to say that I liked it a lot. In fact, I was majorly creeped out by it, and I enjoyed the death/resurrection question. The spiritual angle is nicely underplayed; you could give this to any of your friends without them feeling preached at. And the action is solid.

You guys know what a picky jerk I am, so it goes without saying that I didn't like every single thing about the novel. But my complaints were minor. I think there are two facts that most succinctly sum up my feelings about the book.

Fact #1: We were staying at a relative's house the night I finished the book (at about 1am, I think... see note about "couldn't put it down" above). My three-year-old had to sleep on a couch in the front room, near the front door. When I finished "Waking Lazarus" I said to myself, "You know, I don't really want to leave my child alone in this room. I will sleep here on the other couch." Books rarely have that effect on me.

Fact #2: "Waking Lazarus" is more entertaining than "Superman Returns" and "Pirates 2" combined. You money is better spent on this book than both movies. I know, you can take a date to a movie, but not to a book. But you could always read the book aloud to your date. Awwww, sweet!

The Office (northwest edition)

We're in the middle of a big office move. Trent has put together a team to lead us into the future and here is the blog he's put together with pictures, floorplans and thoughts about direction. To say that I am excited would be an understatement. To say that I am thankful for Trent taking the lead on this would be a severe, ridiculous understatement.

For those of you "Office" fans out there who are wondering which character is based on me, it's Michael.

No, it's not Dwight. Shut up!

Sin is the singularity

I've heard some debate recently about the coming technological singularity. There are a lot of people saying something to the effect of "post-singularity humans will behave in a way completely alien to us, we will not be able to comprehend them." We cannot reliably predict how the human race will behave at that point: or, you know, that humans and AIs will become indistinguishable on the net, that humans and machines will become one race of sentient beings, that nontechnology will transform us into something Other, that we will ascend into greater beings, blah blah blah, ad nauseum.

To which allow me to say: Nonsense.

Humans will never become "post-human". We cannot ascend past our twisted human nature. Whatever may come in technology, we will continute to behave the way we have always behaved: occasionally with honor and bravery, wisdom and strength, and often with treachery, selfishness and evil intent. We behave today in essentially the same way the pharoahs did, in the same way the Aztecs did, in the same way that the painters of Lascaux did. Regardless of social, technological or scientific change, human beings will do the same things they have always done: fall in love, hate, murder, cheat, protect their children (sometimes), tell the truth, tell lies, war with one another over resources.

We have the technology today to behave as an "ascendant race." We could feed everyone in the world today if we could overcome our petty bickering and selfish consumption. We could significantly alter the world mortality rate. We could eliminate various types of sickness and suffering with a little concerted effort. The reason we don't do this in the future will be the same reason we don't do it today: the cost is too high. Because in the end, the cost involves me living a little less well so that others can live a little better. And we're not going to do that without some sort of outside change... and not technological change, either. It has to be a transformation of the heart. And when that change happens it won't be us becoming post-human, it will be us becoming humans as we were intended to be.

STINT leader's training

K an I went out to Stint team leader's training in CO last week. We had a great time. It's really fun to be with people who are excited to learn and grow and called to serve God overseas. And of course we were already buddies with some of the gang.

Here's a picture of the leaders we coached. From left to right starting in the back they are: Emily and Bryon (Venezuela), Dusty and Allison (East Asia), Peter and Jen (Lithuania), John and Alexis (Croatia).

I was the MC for the week. I made everyone call me Master. Of course they all obeyed without question. I also explained to them the importance of keeping statistics. This is because I am very well rounded, and find numbers easy to use. I helped out with some thoughts on culture, and of course provided many Leadership Tips... several of which are included elsewhere in this very same website.
The last night was our commissioning night, which we did together with X-track (a six-week training for people going overseas for three or more years). It was a lot of fun. And that is sparkling cider, of course, in the photo. We started the night out by toasting Jesus together. Well, actually, we started the night out by watching some guys from the X-track do a skit about themselves that would probably have been very funny if we knew what they were talking about.

Big John (does he seem taller than he used to be?) and Cecily were there at the X-track, preparing for their first three years in East Asia, and Jamin and Ashley headed for Russia. It's so cool to see people we served with overseas when they were students (or recently graduated) going back overseas to stay.

And, for the last picture, I thought I would show you what I do with those who disobey me. BEHOLD THE WRATH OF MY LIGHTNING JOHN ROZZELLE!

Eavesdropping with Matt (Episode Ten)

Dedicated to three generations of movie watchers at the Hollywood Video! Grandma, probably about 60 and a fan of "The Constant Gardener," Mom, aged about 30 and Young Boy, dressed in Superman pajamas and about 4 years old.

Mom: Look at this movie!

Grandma: What is it?

Mom: "Cannibal! She's dying to eat you."

Grandma: That's disgusting.

Mom: We're definitely getting this one.

Grandma: (horrible gagging noises)

Young Boy: I'm Superman.

They went on to rent, yes, "Cannibal". I am glad that the young boy is a super hero and hope his mother doesn't warp him into a villain. I am glad that there seems to be an epidemic of young heroes lately.

Pirate or ninja?

Autumn and Sarah posted a comment wondering if I would rather be a pirate or a ninja. I have given this considerable thought. Here are some of the benfits of each:

Ninja:

1) Stealth, ability to stop one's own heart.
2) The ability to disguise oneself as a hedge.
3) Cool outfit.
4) Creepy, silent, ancient weapons.
5) Anonymity.

Pirate:

1) Lots of booty.
2) Lots of friends/scurvy dogs to betray and boss around.
3) Peg leg! Parrot!
4) You don't have to train in an ancient Japanese monastery for several decades.
5) Infamy.

I guess I would have to choose pirate. So long as I can be the Captain. And I WILL be the captain, don't you worry.

Now, to help you decide what you would like to be:
You can try your hand at being a ninja here.
Or a pirate, here.
And, of course, this list would not be complete without a wacky pirate who fights the other pirates on the ship... and they are all ninjas.

And, lastly, here's a link for people who like any combination of the words "Super Monkey Poop Fight".

Now get back to work or I'll keelhaul the lot of ya!

magical realism and Christianity

I had this sudden epiphany while listening to Sufjan Stevens' album "Illinois" today. He has a song on the album called "The Seer's Tower" (yes, it's a pun) and I realized with a sudden jolt that really he is writing a poem of magical realism, but using Christian symbology.

Of course, traditional magical realism will bring in Christian symbology (i.e. angels washing up in the backyard and so on). But I think I realized that what sometimes misses for me in Christian fiction is that the spiritual aspect of things seems so jarring and disconnected from the physical world. One of the strengths of magical realism is pulling magic into everyday life, making it an expected part of the world order.

Anyway, it got me to wondering if there's a way to pull off a sort of Christian Magical Realism, where the spiritual world would be more than co-existant with the physical, it would be the same world. I think this could work quite nicely. I might experiment with it a bit.

Swab the Poopdeck

I have to be really honest and say that I enjoy bad movies. There's something about sitting there, shaking my head and saying "stupid!" under my breath that makes me feel, well, superior.

So, I had a nice time for my birthday, forcing a lot of good friends to join me in watching "Pirates of the Carribean 2" at the 10:10 show, which got us all the way through to the next morning at 1, which was not, properly speaking, my birthday any longer.

I thought about doing a review of the movie and then realized that it wouldn't keep you from going to see it. I liked the first one pretty well. I did not like this one at all. I will say this: Pirates has retroactively forced me to say that "Superman Returns" was not so bad.

Best Moment in the Movie: When the kid two rows in front of tried to cuddle up with her date, somehow breaking the chair she was in. We all laughed pretty hard. And then she stayed in the broken chair! Ha ha ha.

It was meant to be....

Here's a link to the "sovereign grace singles" website. I don't know how to prepare you for how wonderful this site is, so I'm just going to say it straight out: it's a web-dating service for Calvinists.

That's right, no more pesky Arminianists trying to take you out on a date, always wanting you to make choices: Should we follow Jesus? What do you want for dinner? What movie should we go see?

So, if you feel that as a Calvinist you "worship a different God" than the rest of the Christians out there, this is the site for you. You might even "meet someone with whom (you) can be Romantically Equally Yoked in Faith and World-view."

So, all you Calvinists, stop wasting your time waiting for "The One" to come along! Get out there, take some initiative and choose your mate!

A special thanks to Keith Richards of Denver for alerting me to this. I wish you had been joking, but now that I have seen the site I have no choice but to believe.

A Leader's Thoughts on Leadership #3

The ever-popular and much demanded wisdom of MC Matt Mikalatos continues:

"It is not a good thing if your followers start to call you a Nazi, unless you are the leader of a gang of skinheads."

Ken, International Man of Renown

My good friend Ken is the very first to begin celebrating what promises to be the sort of holiday that creates international joy, crowds of celebratory people and general good will. You can see Ken's silly, funny, pre-emptive celebration of this international celebration here.

Thanks, Ken! You're great.

Colorado

We're in Ft. Collins right now for the "Stint Leader's Training"... a time when we get together with those who are going to be leading international mission teams for a year or longer and help them know what to expect and how to lead. It's a great time.

Krista and I flew in a day early and got to go hiking in the nearby national park.

I have no time to blog. Unlike this elk, who stands around eating grass, enjoying the view, and taking naps in meadows. Oh, to be an elk.

A Leader's Thoughts on Leadership #2

Due to the overwhelmingly positive reaction to "A Leader's Thoughts on Leadership #1", I thought I would dust off another of my prized leadership insights for you to reflect on, consider and adopt as your own:

A leader should never say, "I am sorry you are so stupid."

I know what you are asking yourself right now. And the answer is: No, not even if they are very, very stupid.

Another mystery-- solved!

We went to Old Navy today to buy me some shorts. I just love plaid! Just kidding. Anyway, I was looking at the shorts and realized they had these silly little plaid, pastel colored lining things sewn into the waists.

Me: This must be because they take all the clothes they couldn't sell, cut them up and use them for linings.

K: This is because women buy all the clothes.

Me: Oh. That makes sense.

In Which I Sit in Judgment Upon Superman

As many of you know I am a big Superman fan. Not a crazy, "I have a tattoo" kind of fan, not a rabid "I know Clark Kent's social security number" kind of fan, but a fan, nonetheless.

To celebrate the 4th of July, my Dad, sister and father-in-law traipsed off together to see the newest addition to the Superman mythos: Superman Returns.

***Spoilers are about to spoil things for you if you keep reading. ***

I left the movie saddened. Not because something sad happened in the movie, either. There were some cool parts from an effects point-of-view and a couple of decent action scenes (if it's really considered action to see a guy flying around and moving Very Large Objects).

I left saddened because Superman--at least the Superman in this movie--is morally weak in pretty much every way. He left earth several years ago because astronomers found the remnants of Krypton. He didn't even say good-bye to Lois Lane (who he had apparently *just* had sex with... and as Superman, not as Clark Kent). He comes home and briefly allows his mom to have a nervous breakdown before flying off to pick up where things left off with Lois (he never thought she was the type to settle down). When he discovers that she has a (vey nice) fiance who has been taking care of her and her little boy he proceeds to (1) fly to her house and use his x-ray vision to watch the family and his super-hearing to eavesdrop on them and (2) pick Lois up for an "interview" during which he tries to hook up with her again.

STUPID! Dumb, dumb Superman. Grow UP! For crying out loud. This is not Smallville. You are (supposedly) an adult. Use your powers for good, not to get chicks. You big, selfish brat. I will be glad when we discover you are actually a Kryptonian clone sent to prepare the people of earth for an impending invasion and the real Superman comes and kicks you around the planet you freaking self-centered pile of alien testosterone.

In other news of Complete Imbecility, Lex Luthor is pretty much a moron. He's supposed to be a super genius but the guy can't even get rid of Superman when he has an entire continent of Kryptonite. His big plan involves making some islands, luring Superman there and then letting some thugs beat him up. Um. Okay. And, in an unprecedented display of Dumbness, he flies a helicopter out to his new continent but it doesn't have enough gas to get him back to the mainland. I never really believed Lex was evil in this movie because--despite continually promising to kill billions of people--he was just too stupid to do anything other than rant at Superman. Which I could do myself (see above). So, expect to see me taking the slot of Superman's arch-nemesis in the near future.

Okay. I could vent at considerable length. I haven't even really approached the plot (mediocre) or the themes (clearly spelled out but strangely executed, especially for a franchise movie). But let me give you a piece of advice. If you would like to see a good movie about Superman, go see the 1970's version. Superman is moral, witty and likeable (three things the current incarnation was missing as he flew around mooning for Lois, smiling slightly at people and saving a couple of people from earthquakes, car accidents, big guns, etc.) . Okay, this was better than Superman IV and probably III. But really, what wouldn't be?

In conclusion: Go see the first Superman movie with Christopher Reeve.

I certainly hope so....

We're all swimming at my godparents house. Their daughter, Joy, is one of my best friends--we grew up together--and is noticably pregnant, especially noticeable since she is in a bathing suit.

Z (pointing to Joy's midsection): Why are you so big right there?

Joy: There's a baby in there.

Z: Is it yours?

Every Heart Beats True to the Pink, White and Blue

Here's a little conversation from our family this morning. Krista was helping Z get dressed, and helping her get on red, white and blue clothes in honor of the U.S.A.'s birthday.

Z: Why are the colors red, white and blue?

K: That's because they chose those colors for our nation's flag.

Z: I should have been there to choose what colors, we should have had blue, white and pink.

K: Well, they were chosen a few hundred years ago.

Z: I still should have been there.

K: If you had been there a few hundred years ago there would have been no hot water for your bath.

Z: Oh.

K: You would have had to get up early in the morning to do farm chores.

Z: Oh.

Z decided to wear purple with a red flower.

A Rare Opportunity

The new issue of Wittenburg Door is out, which means, true believers, that you have an opportunity to buy the first magazine in which yours truly was published. It is sure to be a collector's item when I become Supreme Emperor of the Americas (this will happen right about 2016 according to my current projections).

Good luck, and good night.

Learning to Swim

The only thing more fun than a trampoline...

... is a trampoline and a garden hose.

The Location of the Pituitary Gland

Some of us had a long talk tonight about where exactly the pituitary gland was located. There were various theories, ranging from the front of the brain to the neck. We had a nurse, a grad school teacher, an architect and two missionaries throwing out their theories.

I thought it was in the neck. As you can see I was wrong. But I realized tonight looking at it that I was thinking of the thyroid gland, which is in the neck.

This has been a public service announcement of the Burning Hearts Revolution.

The Best Web Cam EVER

Take a look at this LIVE bald eagle cam. It's a live feed of the first wild eagle hatched on Santa Cruz Island in the last couple of decades. The hatchling is always there. I keep waiting for mom and dad to show up!

Z and A sing "Lord I Lift Your Name on High"

Krista on guitar, Z and A on lead vocals. Me as audio technician (sorry). I wish there was some way to distill the pure, sweet cuteness of this onto the internet, but there just isn't.

More Costa Rica pictures

You can see a few more Costa Rica pictures here.

And here is our most recent prayer letter, available in pdf for download.

A Leader's Thoughts on Leadership #1

So many of you have been writing in begging me to give my thoughts and insights into being a leader of such deep wisdom, international renown and pleasing, life-affirming aphorisms. I have spent some time working up a whole series of easy-to-remember proverbs on leadership for you all, and I will bring a few of these gems out every once-in-a-great-while when you all have been particularly well-behaved.

Here is your special leadership treat for today:

"It is hard to be a leader because everyone is always looking at you, and there is so little time to get your hair cut."

Dwell on that, O Leaders to Be, and you, too, can reach the dizzying heights of my leadership summit. VIVA LA REVOLUTION!

New devotional

There's a new devotional up at the gnwstinters site. More personal than usual, I think, and thus better. It's more something I'm wrestling through than a devotional, I guess.

Christian Fantasy Blog Tour: Coda

So. I was supposed to be part of this big, fun "blog tour." It was the first blog tour that BHR was involved in. You might have noticed the frenetic energy as we connected with hundreds of other sites. Or, you might have noticed how I was in Costa Rica and completely spaced that it was at the same time as the trip. Which means people were wandering by here and wondering, "What does this website have to do with Christian fantasy?"

So, let's do our best to dispel the myth that I am a disorganized and mean-spirited hack. *Ahem*

DragonKnight, the third book in Donita K. Paul's fantasy trilogy was released last week. Now is your chance to run around to the tour and read interviews with her, read reviews of the book and discussions about the place of fantasy in literature. I know many of you love fantasy novels and at least one of you (Hi, Rebecca!) writes it. So, enjoy. And, since you are all speculative fiction fans, you can just go back in time and join the tour!

Sally Apokedak
Valerie Comer
Johne Cook
Janey DeMeo
Mary E. DeMuth
Beth Goddard
Rebecca Grabill
Leathel Grody
Katie Hart
Sherrie Hibbs
Marcia Laycock
Shannon McNear
Mirtika Schultz
Stuart Stockton
Steve Trower

Stuart Stockton , Rebecca LuElla Miller and Sally Apokedak provide some reviews of the novel.

Shannon McNear and Beth Goddard share stories about Donita.

Leathel Grody discusses fantasy’s place in Christian literature.

Rebecca Grabill tells us all about gnomes. No, really.

As for me, what do I provide? A small and humble signpost to the mighty tour of last week. There you go, my friends. Enjoy.

Costa Rica: Monday

Monday morning Adena led us in a devotional time all together. It was a little bittersweet, actually, for me, because she led us through I Thessalonians, which just reminded me how I was hoping we would be in Thessaloniki this summer, studying the book in the place where it had originally been directed. But Adena did a really great job.

Then we headed off to campus to do some evangelism. I went with Adena and K went with Alex to do evangelism. We agreed we would all meet up after lunch.

Adena and I had a great conversation with three freshmen girls, one of whom was named Anna Marie. She said that she had been asking God over and over to teach her how to be closer to him and that he never answered her prayers. I told her that maybe we were the answer to her prayer and she said maybe that was right. She also said that she heard God talking to her while we shared the gospel with her, which she found strange because a lot of times she felt that praying was like "talking to a wall." Be praying for Anna Marie.

When we found Krista and Alex again, Krista told us her bag had been stolen. Credit cards, camera, wallet... even her Bible. All the pictures on here are borrowed from someone else. We were sad to see her bag stolen, but so thankful that she hadn't been mugged or harmed. Apparently someone snatched it while she and Alex were spending some time praying together.

So, we spent some time cancelling credit cards. And scouring back alleys, just in case. Then we continued with our regular activities: meeting with the students on project.

We went to dinner that night with Kirk, Jill and their little daughter. We had a good time and a good talk.

Overall, a pretty good day. And everyone was so impressed with the way Krista dealt with her bag being stolen. They said they would use her as an example when the next person's bag was stolen.

Costa Rica: Sunday

Sunday, June 18th

Carlos, the national director of Costa Rica, said something when we first arrived that I thought was a joke: "I want you to give the message at our church this weekend."

So, I taught on Luke 5, a favorite passage of ours when we lived in East Asia. It's about listening to the Master's voice, obeying him, and having the expectation that we will have extremely fruitful ministries as a result... that he will "sink our ships" and take us beyond our resources as we fish for the souls of men.

One of the neat things at the church was meeting Laura and Leonardo, a Costa Rican couple that are hoping to be missionaries to East Asia. They were so encouraged to meet with us and talk some about life overseas.

We were taken out to dinner that night by Carlos and his wife, Tatiana. They took us to this asian restaurant where I had fried noodles (Hong Kong style) and Krista had palak paneer. I had some mango sticky rice for dessert, too.


We talked a lot about the needs in Costa Rica for the gospel. I can't go into a lot of detail about the possible solutions we talked about together because there are other people who need to be in the loop as we are making decisions. But you can be praying for the ministry in Costa Rica.

Carlos and Tatiana are great fun. K and I both felt like we were great friends after such a short time together. We are looking forward to seeing them again.

Costa Rica: Saturday

Saturday, June 17th.

We got up early in the morning and leapt into a bus bound for the rain forest.

Favorite quote during our rain forest expedition (said at least once by everyone in our party): "Hey. It's raining."

Correct response to this observation: "It's the rain forest."

We had a great time rafting. You can see my most important rafting lesson here.

We stopped for a while, upended a raft and ate fresh pineapple and watermelon. And, inexplicably, cookies. The Costa Ricans love sweet food.

This is where you could jump off the cliff. Which I proceeded to do.

After rafting we were treated to some casado. Yum! Then we saw howler monkeys! HOO HOO HOO!! Then we saw a weird animal on the side of the road, eating some Cheetos. It was sort of like a racoon. I guess. Also, a Costa Rican jumping viper which, thanks to God, no one touched. We also stopped for a photo-op with some large leaves. These double as umbrellas in the rain forest. No, really, they do!

When we got home everyone was sleepy. Almost everyone, I guess. I was hungry.

So we went with our raftmates to a lovely Italian dinner. I got the chicken parmesan. It was quite good. Everyone agreed that Jason's so-called "nachos" came in last place. I must say that, regardless, the company was nice.

Then we went to bed.

Watch this!

Here's a three picture progression that shows you why I probably came home from Costa Rica with giardia.













In this picture I am happy, I am enjoying rafting in Costa Rica. Life is good. Krista is immediately behind me in the blue helmet. For those of you who might know the others, the back left yellow helmet is Hayley from Idaho, next to me is Jason from Reno, then Adena of Corvallis and Alex of Montana.




As you can see, I am now completely submerged. Notice that K still has a big smile on her face.















I emerge from the river, wetter and wiser. A lesson for all of you: do not go under water with your mouth open.

Click on the pictures to see them larger.

Yo ho yo ho the writer's life for me!

We got home from CR yesterday and I went to get the mail. First, I had a free copy of Waking Lazarus waiting for me, which got me pretty excited. It looks good and you'll be seeing a review of it in the next couple of weeks.

The second thing waiting in the mailbox was MY FIRST CHECK for a published story. Woohoo! The story will be in the July/August issue of The Wittenburg Door.

The third thing awaited me in my e-mail box (through which I am still sifting, so patience my friends if you have written me a note). It was a note from the editor of The Sword Review. They've accepted my story, "Chariots" and need me to sign a contract. It's my second sale and my third accepted story.

Home Again!

Hi friends! I'm going to go backwards and fill in the details of our Costa Rica trip. It may take me a few days because we are packing up the family for our next trip (even though, yes, we got home last night) and there's a funeral for my great aunt later this morning.

But I will fill you in. There were a lot of cool events during our week.

Why I Want to Learn Spanish

Because I can't understand what people in Costa Rica are saying. And I am clearly the most interesting thing for them to be talking about.

Missives from Costa Rica

I know you all assumed we died in a fiery pane wreck, but no, we are safely in Costa Rica and safely ensconced in our home.

We had a good flight down. Apparently I look sufficiently like a tico for everyone to speak to me in Spanish, which is somewhat embarassing. But I am learning to cope.

And now, for the most important news... new foods I have eaten. First, I had a plate of fish wehn we first arrived. It had some sort of white sauce and cheese on top and was quite good. Along with that I had a guanabana smoothie. The guanabana is a mysterious fruit that I have yet to see, but the juice of which I am determined to imbibe every day during my stay in CR. Yesterday morning I had beans and rice and tortillas for breakfast *excellent* and for lunch I had some sort of weird little burrito. Then a before dinner snack of these sort of sweet corn pancakes and to drink a warm glass of milk, water and cane sugar. Yum!

Today we are going river rafting with the project through mosquito (and probably malaria) laden rivers, which will also be heavy with crocodiles. The best advice they have for us is to not fall out of the boat. But I am certain I will return with at least three of my limbs.

In other news, the work goes well here. The project is adjusting and Carlos, the national director, has been spending a lot of time with us.

Tomorrow I am speaking at the local Christian church (which was a bit of a surprise) and then joining Carlos and his wife Tatiana for Chinese food, which should be interesting. Be praying for us as we meet with and have deep conversations with the project leadership, participants and with Carlos, his team, and their church.

Muchas gracias and hasta luego.

Costa Rica, here we come

Hey all-- K and I leave for Costa Rica in the morning. Right now I am blogging instead of packing. But that is the sort of person I am.

As you know, I am sort of the Lucy Ricardo of the international travel set. I am always meeting famous people, having crazy adventures, falling down stairs and coming up with crazy schemes. We'll see if I can update from CR or, if not, I'll fill you when we get home.

Have fun!

The wonderful world of cotton

Yesterday I was packing for our trip to Costa Rica. I was trying to make sure I had enough long pants made of cotton (long pants because ticos don't wear shorts, cotton pants because cotton breathes).

That's when I discovered that jeans are made of cotton. I didn't know that. Pleased with my new discovery I went and told Krista.

Me: Did you know jeans are made of cotton?
Krista: Of course. What did you think they were made of?
Me: I don't know. Some sort of, um, jeans stuff.

Well, as it turns out (to my surprise) cotton is used to make all sorts of cloths. Like terrycloth, denim, chambray, corduroy, seersucker and twill. It's also used to make fishnets, for binding books, to make coffee filters and for the paper for U.S. currency.

So, things I've learned:

1) Cotton is good.
2) It's good to live today and not centuries ago, when cotton was a luxury in most of the world.
3) Obviously there is a woman somewhere coming up with lots of different names for materials made of cotton. I am sure men would have just called seersucker, denim and corduroy "cotton".

Weekend Adventures with the Mikalatos family

Friday

Friday morning we went to Z's "moving on" party. This was essentially a non-graduation from preschool. She starts Kindergarten in the fall, which is hard to believe. Z is pretty matter-of-fact about the whole thing. She barely said good-bye to her teachers. But yesterday she said she missed her friends and didn't even know where they lived.

Friday afternoon I hung out with the Costa Rica summer project and did some teaching on culture and helped them with their team norms. We're off to join them in Costa Rice on Thursday.

Friday night the CR team came over to our house for a big barbecue! It was great and we had a lot of fun. Steak, potatoes, chips and guacamole, followed by homemade strawberry shortcake. Yum!

Weekend Adventures (continued)

Saturday

Saturday morning I met the project at their hotel and ushered them off to the airport. When I got home we went to the local Farmer's market. We bought a lot of fresh strawberries and that night K and her mom made homemade jam. That took the rest of the day. I went out in the afternoon and bought my dad a magazine because he was recovering from surgery.

Sunday

Sunday was "Free Fishing Day" in Oregon. We packed up the kids and met K's mom and dad, her brother and sister-in-law and her family and we had (yet another) big barbecue at the lake.

Z caught three fish (which are now in our fridge because she promises she is going to eat them).Overall, a pretty action-packed weekend!

A Pox on Early Clappers

I have noticed with some dismay a recent and disturbing trend of early clappers. Perhaps you have sat in front of these individuals. These are the people who CLAP CLAP CLAP a moment too early. Perhaps the song is still being sung. Or the speaker is on her next-to-last word. It is distracting. It is annoying. It is a desperate ploy for attention. It is disrespectful. It gives the impression of a cloying, fawning sycophant.

Clapping, as we all know, is meant to be a frightening show of solidarity. It is--as the picture above can attest--a terribly serious business that will not allow for smiling or individuality.

If one must be an individual when clapping, here are some suggested techniques that are more acceptable and less revoltingly servile:

1) Simply do not clap.

2) Try to be the last person to clap rather than the first. (Note: clapping for more than ten claps after the penultimute clapper will give an impression of sarcasm. Use this wisely.)

3) As a variation on #1, do not clap, furrow your brow, scowl, hunch your shoulders and cross your arms.

4) Emit a piercing whistle just as the clapping is ending.

5) Stand-- as if for a standing ovation-- but stop your hands ten centimeters before they come together. This is called "phantom clapping". It is most effective if your hands are held over your head so that people can tell you are not actually clapping. If an entire audience partakes of this terrible criticism of a performer it is referred to as "a standing no-vation."

6) Snap your fingers instead of clapping.

7) Clap your neighbor's hand.

8) Stay home, alone. Clap every time you hear the word "allergy" on the television.

9) Clap only when you see clearly marked "APPLAUSE" signs.

Until everyone knows someone in South Carolina who really knows Jesus

Our good friend Taylor wants to know:

Does anyone at the BHR know anyone who loves Jesus in South Carolina? She has students going to Myrtle Beach who need a church.

You can leave her a message on her blog, or leave a message here and I will forward it to her.

Yes, it appears BHR is now a message board. Carry on, minions.

Eavesdropping with Matt (Episode Nine)

Dedicated to the young woman at the park, whose Rottweiler was nearly as large as her and was tethered to her by a vicious choke chain. Also dedicated to the large and well-meaning woman who sat on a nearby blanket. And lastly, to those sweet, misunderstood, gentle giants: the Rottweilers.

Young woman (speaking to my daughter, A): You can pet the dog if you would like to. He's very nice and he loves children.

(My daughter stands as far away from the dog as her short little arms will allow, stretches out her hand and brushes her fingertips against the dog's haunches.)

Blanket woman: It's a shame that people train Rottweilers to be guard dogs. They can be such sweet, nice dogs.

Young woman: I know. Those people give Rottweilers a bad reputation.

Blanket woman: Training those dogs to attack people, it's just too bad. They seem so sweet and loving.

Young woman: And it's not like they even need training. Our dog tries to kill the mailman every time he delivers the mail. They are natural protectors.

(A small, black dog wanders over to meet the Rottweiler. The Rottweiler goes for the little dog, intending--so far as I can tell--to eviscerate it and feast upon its entrails.)

Young woman (Yanking with all her strength on the choker): NO! DOWN! DOWN NOW!

A New and Noteworthy Blog

I am extremely pleased to announce that my lovely wife Krista has at long last started her own blog. It's called Blue Sky, and I know you will like what she has to share. Enjoy!

Big chicken

For all my friends who are coming back to America right now: this is the key moment in current U.S. culture. It's more important than DaVinci Code, the X-Men and Mission:Impossible combined. And it's so spicy!

Also, in case you don't know, "hucking" is a slag term used in various extreme sports. It seems to have a reasonably wide semantic range. I've seen it used referring to big jumps on a bike, to throwing a bike around, and even to skiiers going off large cliffs. But I think the best definition is to watch this video.

Louck out!

Our good buddy Kerri has started a blog! Hooray! Everyone is starting blogs. Right, Carolyn Culbertson?

The Tent

There's a new devotional over at GNW Stinters.

It's about tents.

Comedic Genius?

I was suprised to discover while at the video store this weekend that Will Ferrel is a "comedic genius." I was doubly suprised when I watched the movie (the newest version of "The Producers") which was lacking any real spark of comedy. Yes, Will Ferrel is funny. I have laughed out loud while watching him. No doubt some of you are laughing right now and thinking, "You know what the Burning Hearts Revolution needs? MORE COWBELL!" And you are right, so right. But is Ferrel a comedic genius? Not according to my definition.

Clearly the people writing on the back of video boxes are using the most permissive definition of genius, which would merely mean, "someone who is sort of good at something." I prefer a more restrictive definition, something along the lines of "someone whose IQ is at or above 140." Of course, real traditionalists prefer the extremely limited definition of "a tutelary or guardian spirit" (i.e. a genie or jinni).

Fitting my definition of genius would be (among others): Steve Martin, Geena Davis and Sharon Stone. As you can see, being a genius does not mean that you will choose wisely when choosing films to star in. Steve Martin, of course, is forgiven for any bad movie he has played in just because of the good ones, which are very good.

And, for the traditionalist, Robin Williams could be referred to as a "genius" purely on the strength of his performance in "Aladdin."

In conclusion, I would like to say:

Tell us we will die like dogs.

You will die like dogs.

NO! WE WILL FIGHT LIKE LIONS!

Free (NEW) Switchfoot song

My lovely wife points out that Switchfoot is giving out a free download of "Daylight to Break", a song from their new album due at the end of the year. It's pretty darn good.

Sacred Space

I've included a link at the right for Sacred Space, a prayer site run by the Jesuits.

It's basically a meditation site that will walk you through a few "centering" techniques, after which a brief passage of scripture will come up for you to dwell on and consider, listening for a message from God. I've found it, at times, a very profound and interesting experience.

At the same time I should point out that it is, after all, a Jesuit (i.e. Catholic) website, as I know not all of you revolutionists are, in fact, Catholic, as I am not Catholic. With rare exceptions this site is not pushing a certain theology, it's merely providing a framework for prayer and listening to God.

Monkeys on Ice

One of our ace reporters sent me this link to more monkey news. Our reporter has requested anonymity, so I shall say nothing other than, "Well done, good and faithful journalist."

And just remember: if a monkey is chasing you, you really can't escape them. Not by climbing a tree. Not by running out on a frozen lake. They are an unstoppable menace.

First Friday

The first Friday of every month the Burning Hearts Revolution is signed on to host the first chapter of a published novel. This month it's "Deliver Us from Evelyn" by Chris Well. You can read it below. Enjoy!

First Chapter: Deliver Us From Evelyn

This post used to be the first chapter of Chris Well's book, "Deliver Us From Evelyn." You can find all of Chris's work available for purchase here.

Not as Smart as I thought I was

I had a few spare moments today (we all, after all, need to "use the potty"), so I thought I would start one of my new books. I am, as you all know, an insufferable snob about fiction. I can hardly stand myself. I mostly like literature as opposed to, you know, what normal people read. Popular fiction. Don't get me wrong, I read the occasional "book for the beach" but what I really like is a good literary novel.

So, I started reading Europe Central. I read, in fact, the whole first chapter. And all I can say is, whoa. What the heck? I have no idea what is happening. As near as I can tell the author is setting up a metaphor in which there is a switchboard somewhere that you can listen in to what is happening all over the world during World War II (Or, as I like to say just to tick everyone off, World War 2). Then I started looking through the book for some dialogue and I couldn't find *any*. EIGHT HUNDRED AND THIRTY-TWO PAGES and not a single line of dialogue. Well, actually, there is quite a bit but it appears the author has an aversion to quotation marks. One probably "bit" him when he was a child. Oy vey. I am not cut out for this, I thought to myself.

So I decided I would try, instead, Haroun and the Sea of Stories. Now this is more like it! It's accessible and funny (I laughed out loud twice in the first ten pages or so). I'll let you know how it turns out, if it's worth a read all the way to the end. And, I'll set "Europe Central" into that pile for books I intend to read when I live in a foreign country and have limited choice and unlimited literary patience.

In case of emergency....

As we're driving Z starts suddenly volunteering arcane knowledge she learned in school:

Z: A cucmber turns into a pickle if you put it in a jar!

Me: Is that right?

Z: If you call the number 911 then the ambulances, the police and the fire people come.

Me: Wow. Where did you learn this?

Z: School.

And now my other daughter, A, gets involved.

A: 323!

Me: What happens if you call 323?

A: Horses will come!