Eight Bible Characters to Have on your Zombie Survival Crew

Today we have a guest post from my friend Clay Morgan, author of Undead: Revived, Resuscitated, and Reborn. Clay's book RELEASES TODAY. You should go buy it! Clay's contact info and website are listed at the bottom of the post. Before you get started on this fun post, in which Clay shares which Biblical characters he'd like to have on his side during a zombie apocalypse, you should probably see this picture, which gives you some insight into Clay's fun-loving nature:

A zombie, restrained by Jesus, chases Clay
while Abraham Lincoln watches nearby.

Alright, let's see who Clay picks for his anti-zombie Bible team!

8 Bible Characters To Have On Your Zombie Survival Crew

It's the obvious question that apparently no one is asking. If you were alive during the time of the Old and/or New Testament and faced an uprising of the undead who would you want on your zombie survival crew. It's high time we figure this one out. FOR HUMANITY'S SAKE.

Now I hear some objections rising to the surface like the living dead from their graves, so let me address those concerns here and now.

Objection #1—This is stupid.

·     

      Response: "The fool says in his heart, 'There is no God."

Objection #1a—What does that have to do with zombies that aren't real from 2,000 years ago?!

·        

            Response: Okay, the truth is that my new book Undead: Revived, Resuscitated, and Reborn just came out and I wanted to write a post for Matt that combines zombies and my faith in a nonfiction way just like Undead does.

Objection #2—I wouldn't need a team because I would pick Jesus who just wins.

·     

      Response: Ah, thought you might go there. I'm invoking Genie from Aladdin rules though. You know, kind of like no wishing for more wishes but instead you can't take the Almighty or anyone else based on potential miraculous capabilities.

So as you can see there is simply no reasonable objection to be made here. Let's move on.

With so much talk about zombie preparedness, I'm surprised more people don't plan on tossing a Bible in their apocalypse go bag. You'll at least want one to get the skinny on the Old & New Testament all-stars that I would take into battle against the undead any day.   

So here it is, a zombie survival crew of biblical proportions

1

      Moses—Obvious choice. He's a natural leader and isn't afraid to bludgeon evil people. And he did all that work in homemade sandals. I can't even imagine what would happen if the leader of the Exodus got hold of some Nike shoes. 

2

       Lazarus—I'm referring to post-brought back from the dead Lazarus. First of all, if anybody can get inside the head of dead people it's Laz. Secondly, he's probably a pretty fearless dude since he's already been dead once and all.

3

      Jael—You may not remember this woman from Judges 4, but if they had made movies during Old Testament times then Jael would've played Sarah Connor in the Terminator films. When she found a villain named Sisera hiding in her tent she put him to sleep twice—once for a nap and once for good. Know how she killed him? By driving a nail through his head and pegging him to the ground. I need a woman like this if zombies come.

      Samson—ALL DAY. Have you seen this guy's fighting résumé? The guy ripped a lion apart with his bare hands and killed 1,000 Philistines with the jawbone of an ass. What?! He was the Chuck Norris of ancient Hebrews.

      Luke—We're gonna need a doctor. Plus I just really like Luke.

6

      Peter—Always bold and ready to go. Hopefully I don't have too many leaders or "cooks in the kitchen" as they say. Speaking of cooks, Peter's fisherman abilities would make for some good eating in a post-fast food world.

7

      David—You HAVE to have David. He's tough and brave and knows how to fight hordes of enemies. I should point out the potential for jealousy here because if any lady survivors do end up under our protection I'm guessing that they'll flirt with David instead of me, but I'm willing to deal with that as long as he brings his "A" game.

      Jonah—Let me preface this by saying that I love the story of Jonah and can unfortunately relate to his disobedient, pouting ways. I hope he hangs in there with me, but if we get in a tight spot I'm thinking he'd let me and Jael toss him to the zoms just like he let those sailors toss him overboard. That will buy us some time. He's kind of a fatalist at times anyway and that can bring down overall group morale. And if things do go all bad we can delude ourselves into believing that he could survive in the belly of a zombie since the whole "I got swallowed by a big fish and lived" thing worked out.

What biblical characters would you take on your zombie survival crew?

Clay Morgan is a writer, teacher, and speaker from Pittsburgh, PA who blogs about pop culture, history, and the meaning of life at ClayWrites.com. He is the author of Undead: Revived, Resuscitated, and Reborn about zombies, God, and what it means to be truly alive.

Religion for Atheists

I have a good number of atheist and/or agnostic friends. This might seem weird for a devout Christian, but honestly, I don't think it should be. In fact, contrary to what you've been told by the media (or even from certain high profile atheists), a lot of atheists and agnostics are deeply spiritual people. This doesn't mean that they believe in God (or even spirits for that matter), and some of them will say straight out that their spiritual experiences are probably biological responses hardwired into them, but regardless, I find it pretty easy to have meaningful, deep conversations about life with my secular friends.

Last night on Krista Tippet's radio show "On Being" she did a really fascinating interview with an atheist philosopher named Alain de Botton. You can listen to the show here. He talks about how he was raised in an atheist home and taught that religion was stupid and silly, but in his 20s he had a "crisis of faithlessness" when he discovered a lot of things about faith that were, in his words, "Rather nice." He went on to explore some different things about faith that he thinks that secular society would be wise to adopt from religion. He also made an interesting point, that as we're working hard to create a secular society in which no religion is being allowed to publicly force its message on others, we're allowing corporations and marketing to fill the spaces we're clearing out which, in his view, is bankrupting us morally. Great insight.

Anyway, I haven't read the book yet, but here's his book, Relgion for Atheists, and here's his website.

What do you think?

Atheists: would you describe yourself as spiritual? What do you think of de Botton's thought that there are things secular society should rip off from religion?

Theists: What do you think? Anything of interest to you from the show? Would you be willing to hang out and talk about an atheist's views on spirituality and religion?

P.S. If you're an atheist/agnostic kid with Christian parents or the Christian parent of an atheist/agnostic kid, send me an email and I'll connect you with a facebook support group that a friend of mine and I have going. Both groups are encouraging, supportive, and focused on helping you process your emotions and live life well with your family. 

Preview the first episode of REVOLUTION right now

I've been waiting for a successor to LOST, and I've been thinking that I'd like to try the new show REVOLUTION, which comes out later this month.

That is, unless you'd like to watch the first episode RIGHT NOW:



I haven't watched it yet. So no spoilers in the comments. But you can tell me if I'm going to like it or not.

Dora the Explorer Live Action Movie

My three-year-old (M) and I were both home sick yesterday with an awful, cringe-inducing head cold. I    felt like someone had nailed me onto the couch, and she could barely lift her head off the floor in front of the television. Which means, of course, that I let her watch television for a decent part of the day.

Yesterday was a "Dora the Explorer" day. It made me think about all the cartoons I watched as a kid, like "He-Man" and "G.I. Joe" and "Transformers" and how eventually I grew up and then Hollywood tried to help me recapture my youth by making live action movies loosely based on my childhood cartoons.

These movies are not always particularly faithful to the source material. It made me wonder... what would a live action DORA THE EXPLORER MOVIE look like?

Now I know:

Guest Post from Alex Hughes, Author of "CLEAN"

Today we have a guest post from my friend Alex Hughes. Alex has written a book called Clean, and one of my favorite supporting characters in that book is a guy named Swartz, who is trying to keep the protagonist "clean"... he's wrestling with an addiction to a particularly nasty drug. Swartz is a straight-shooting, no nonsense old man who isn't intimidated by the protagonist... or the fact that that protagonist is a telepath. Read on for a little bit about the book, and then Alex will share a little about where Swartz came from in real life.

Clean

by

Alex Hughes

Back of the Book:

A RUTHLESS KILLER—
OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND

I used to work for the Telepath’s Guild before they kicked me out for a drug habit that wasn’t entirely my fault. Now I work for the cops, helping Homicide Detective Isabella Cherabino put killers behind bars.

My ability to get inside the twisted minds of suspects makes me the best interrogator in the department. But the normals keep me on a short leash. When the Tech Wars ripped the world apart, the Guild stepped up to save it. But they had to get scary to do it—real scary.

Now the cops don’t trust the telepaths, the Guild doesn’t trust me, a serial killer is stalking the city—and I’m aching for a fix. But I need to solve this case. Fast. I’ve just had a vision of the future: I’m the next to die.

From Alex:

In Memoriam

Swartz, the character in Clean who guides the hero through recovery into health, had a real-life counterpart. His name was Theo, and he was a friend of my father’s. I say “was” because he passed away last month, after a sudden and devastating diagnosis of cancer. I never got to say goodbye.

Theo was a sponsor at Alcoholics Anonymous for many decades and served as the personal mentor for literally dozens of recovering alcoholics. He was kind enough to sit with me for hours of interviews, telling me of his life and his journey with substance abuse. He held nothing back, and those conversations over coffee and breakfast profoundly touched both me and my work. He even took me to a few AA meetings and introduced me as one of his friends – this despite me being decades his junior and very much outside of his world.

The generosity of spirit that Theo showed me cannot be fully put into words. The trust he showed me – and his support he gave to my work – was something that could not be earned. It was given freely. This incredible man, who guided dozens of men into health and new life, chose to give me a little of his time, and in so doing made me a better person.

To Theo: I will miss you. May God give you the great reward you so richly deserve, and shelter you under the shadow of his wings. 

***

Order Clean today on Amazon. 
Barnes & Noble.   
The Book Depository:  
Or at your local bookstore!

Find Alex on Facebook and Twitter.  

Thanks for sharing about your book, Alex! And people... I read this book, it's great. Go get it!

Top 5 posts for August

August was a full month, and the theme for the favorite posts of August seems to be (with one exception) "Things that made me laugh." 

So, first up is my daughter at the country fair, looking at a disgusting alligator snapping turtle and then making her own devious plans for how she would ensnare human beings if she were a predator which ate upon human flesh. Pray this does not happen. She would be terrifying.

Second, this conversation I overheard in which a guy says he only likes classy strip clubs. Genius.

The third post, bucking the trend, is from August A YEAR AGO. I decided to keep it in the list anyway. It's from day 38 of my 40 day fast. Yes, last summer I went without food for 40 days, and kept a blog about it, because people tend not to talk about this sort of religious exercise, and I thought it might be helpful for those going through a fast or thinking about it. Anyway, here's the post from day 38 (where I talk about what it means when it says in the Bible "After 40 days of fasting, Jesus was hungry") and here's where you can find most of my fasting posts.

Post number four is simply a post designed to create laughter, because it's funny junk I found on the internet.

AND, the last post is one of the ever-popular ONE STAR REVIEWS ON AMAZON, this one about George Orwell's Animal Farm.

So, there you go. All the nonsense of the blog last month boiled down to five posts. Enjoy!

Kids are extremely honest

This is not my daughter's teacher.
But I'm sure this is how she felt.

I took my 3 year old (M) to meet her preschool teacher this week. It was, in her defense, an evening open house and she was tired.

We walked into the classroom and had a nice chat with her teacher. We saw M's cubby. We looked out the window at the playground. We talked about all the fun school would be.

Then M burst into tears and shouted (very clearly), "Daddy! I don't like my teacher!"

Scott Pilgrim/The Matrix mash up

I love Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. I think it was a hilarious, fun, entertaining movie. It can even help redeem the Matrix trilogy!

Wonderful Wednesday: THE INVADER

I thought this was really fun. I spent a lot of hours killing Space Invaders in my youth. Now I feel a little bad about it.

GO SEE THE REST OF THE COMIC HERE.

Not afraid of Monsters

I took my kids to Lava River Cave in Sunriver when we were on vacation. It's pretty amazing. We hiked the whole mile under ground. We had a great time. Even my three-year-old went on the hike, and she did great.

She called it a "Mama Cave" because, you know, babies are small and Mamas are bigger, and it was a Mama cave, not a baby cave.

Also, she kept telling me there were monsters in the cave, and finally I said, I don't see any monsters. She said, "That's because the bats ate them all."

Ha ha ha!

Ridiculous Reviewers on Amazon: One Star Reviews for Orwell's "Animal Farm"

It's time once again for that old favorite, Ridiculous Reviewers on Amazon! This week's one star reviews come for George Orwell's Animal Farm. Animal Farm is a satire, a fairy tale, a farce and a fable all rolled into one, and all aimed at criticizing Stalin. It's a classic in every sense of the word, and thus many kids across the Western world have been forced to read it in English class in high school.

It's the story of a farm where the pigs take over, form a philosophy and build a collective among the other animals. Eventually, the power goes to the pigs' heads and they start acting like humans, lording it over the animals and making a farm environment that is much worse than anything the animals experienced under the humans.

BUT, let's be clear, just because a book is a classic doesn't mean it's safe from ONE STAR REVIEWS! Let's take a look now.

Our first review comes from G. Barnes "Geoff" of Pittsburgh, PA. 

Seriously, this book is way too scary! I gave it to my 10-year-old to read and he was scared because of all the totalitarianism LOL! DO NOT READ!

Hey! Don't read this! Totalitarianism is scary. Read something a little less terrifying, like a Stephen King novel.

Let's see if we can get any more insight into this topic by reading a review by a kid:

This book sucks so bad I couldn't even get through it. I quit reading it before chapter three. I would not recommend this book to anyone you will waste your time and in the end or whenever you throw it away you'll be asking yourself who would write a book with talking animals?

Kid. You have clearly not been paying attention during bedtime. There are approximately a billion books with talking animals.

My favorite reviews often come from "A Customer".... Amazon's equivalent of an anonymous reviewer. Let's see what this anonymous reviewer had to say about Animal Farm: 

This is exactly the kind of book our government wants to force people to read, so they hand it to schools, and try to force us to read it. This book was written by a insane man named George Orwell, who hated society, and displayed that by bashing humanity, and making people look like lower lifeforms than animals. To be honest I think this man is crazy and needs to be locked up.

Well, good news A Customer: Orwell is dead. No need to lock him up. Unless you knew he was dead and thought we should still lock him up, in which case, it shouldn't be too hard to find him. Also, I think it's charming that you think that The Government wants you to read a book about the dangers of government run amuck. 

"Orwell" was his pen name. He really is dead.
No conspiracy theories, please.

Speaking of government. I'm pretty sure this book is the fault of the liberals. Let's see what "LDS MARINE" has to say about that. 

Its is so annoying to see liberals writing books in politics, and i dont care who they attack- Liberals hate everybody else. Stupid guy had to express his feelings and whine about Russia. 

I -- I'm not sure what to say. STUPID LIBERALS WHO ARE AGAINST COMMUNISM! Wow. I think that LDS MARINE is giving us a whole new conception of "conservative."

Come on, liberals are people, too, LDS MARINE. And we ALL love Justin Bieber.

http://textsfromhillaryclinton.tumblr.com

Just once I'd like to see a review by someone who is well reasoned and intelligent. Perhaps this next one, since it's from someone who has the name "Jedi Smart."

Read something happier like, oh I don't know, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. It's amd excellent read, and with the Holidays coming up, everyone wants to feel happy.

Oh, never mind. Anyway, it's a bit confusing since Harry Potter got its own share of one star reviews. 

Hey, if we're not going to get intelligent, well-reasoned reviews, let's just bring the crazy. Maybe Cathy Taurine of Illinois can help:

Did Al Gore direct this? I was just you know, curious because the animals are talking and stuff and they even have like, this hierarchy of power and things don't make sense like that. This is an anti goverment film but all I hear is Total arin ism which gets to be useful when instilled in the drinking water of places like Africa. Well we gave them animals to eat and they just turned them loose in fields and never fed them and they died. This book is co-written I think by Gore and Moore, but who knows I mean anymore you cannot figure out who is who, but I am Cathy and I escaped from Taurine and this is my review of Animal Farm. Oh, and even if you give a pig pickles it will still attack you if it is hungry!

Okay, okay, that was a little too far into crazy town, even for me. 

"FOR THE LAST TIME I DID NOT WRITE ANIMAL FARM!"

Let's take a look at a classic one star review, and definitely my favorite one for Animal Farm. This comes from Claude Rutabega.  Let's see what Claude has to say:

Of all the things I have ever read! What a terrible and unrealistic story. I mean, how can animals talk? I have a parrot that talks but not in complete sentences. And besides the pigs run the show in this and if it really happened the cats would run things because everyone knows that cats are born leaders. Anyway, I wouldn't reccomend this book to my worst enemy. I read this book to my nephew, Simon and he started crying and now he is afraid of pigs and horses because he says that they will rise up and establish a totalitarianist state and will rule over us. Ughhhh! It gives me a head ache.

Ha ha ha. Oh, Claude. You have brought us around again to the main point of this post: Children are afraid of totalitarianism. And don't worry. I am almost certain that if pigs were to rise up and take over the world, kitties would be freedom fighters. THEY WOULD FIND A WAY TO SAVE US!

Well, kids, if you're afraid of totalitarianism and it's keeping you up at night, maybe you need some one star reviews to make you laugh and keep you happy. Here are some here:

One star reviews for:

Where the Wild Things Are

Moby Dick

Romeo and Juliet

The works of Flannery O'Connor

The Fellowship of the Ring

East of Eden

OR, just read them all. I'm not insisting you do this, because this isn't a totalitarianism blog. But if it were, and if you disobeyed me, let's just say you'd be getting a ride in the "veterinary hospital" van.

I'm a computer programmer now

Soon I'll be able to do this.

My parents were both computer programmers, and when I was a kid they often would teach me little tricks and try to get me interested in computers. I'm not employable as a programmer or anything like that, but I have some marginal awareness of how things work as a result. Thanks, Mom and Dad!

For instance, I know that the internet is caused by information leaking into a substance called "the ether" and we can use ethernet cables to suck it back into "real space" or "virtual reality." Or something.

Anyway, I was pretty proud of myself this week for doing some minor coding here on the site, where I made drop down menus for purchasing my books. You can see them in the sidebar on the right or by clicking the "Matt's Books" tab on the top of the site (that's new, too, by the way).

It looks like this:

BUY THE BOOK Select one Amazon Barnes and Noble CBD Indie Bound Powell's

I think it's pretty nifty, and I'm pleased that I understood enough html to steal the bones for this thing off the internet and make it my own. I know, all I had to do was replace the link content, but still. Allow me a moment of pride at doing something at the beginner's level.

OF COURSE, the best way for you to celebrate this monumental achievement is for you to test out the drop down menu thing. Click on a link, press go, make sure it works. And just to be certain, go ahead and purchase a book or two to make sure everything is working correctly. Egggggggscellent. Moowhahahahahahaaha.

For all you authors out there who want to make your own, I'll put the basic code after the jump so you can use it for your own (just replace the links with links to your books from the correct site). I stole the basic code from here.

You can get the code after the jump.

"Falling" premieres Off-Broadway on October 15

I just got this note from Deanna Jent, the playwright who adapted Imaginary Jesus for the stage. One of her plays from last season is starting in NYC this October!

Hello!  I’m beyond excited to let you know that my play FALLING will be opening on October 15 at the Minetta Lane Theatre in NYC!  Previews will begin September 27.  Below are some links to information about the show – if you could help me out by sending this on to anyone or group that you think might be interested, I’d be very grateful.  We need word-of-mouth to get some attention in the Big Apple.  Also, I’ll be there for all of the preview shows, so if you’re able to come see it during those weeks, let me know!  Also please post on any social media sights you have …. Thanks so very very much!  Deanna

 "FALLING" webpage  
 Facebook 
Article with all the details 

Here's what critics have been saying about FALLING:

“a gripping piece of theatre, emotionally wrenching and theatrically astute”

St. Louis Post-Dispatch

“a thoughtful portrait of a family struggling to hold on in particular and challenging circumstances”

St. Louis Post-Dispatch

“it will kick your guts”

Riverfront Times

I haven't seen the show, but I did read the script and it is powerful. I cried while reading it. 

And, in case you haven't already made plans to join us, here's the info about Imaginary Jesus, first show November 15th in St. Louis!

My daughter says hilarious things when we see animals

At the Clark County Fair we saw an alligator snapping turtle, just laying in the water in its tank, its mouth wide open, wiggling its tongue around. I called my kids over... the turtle at the fair was much more disgusting than the one in the picture here. My 11 year old, Z, said something funny that I thought you would enjoy.

Me: See how its tongue looks like a worm? He just lays there underwater with his mouth open, wiggling that tongue, and when a fish comes along and bites his tongue, he snaps his mouth closed and eats it!

Z: That's disgusting.

Me: Yeah. Pretty awesome.

Z: Hey dad, what if there was a predator that ate humans and it had a really yummy looking hamburger for a tongue.

Me: Ha ha ha. That would be funny.

And, on further consideration... it would work.

Of course, in nature it might look more like this, which the more discerning humans would know to pass up:

Alright, people, be honest. What kind of food could a predator catch you with?

What was that sound?

This is the conversation I had with my 3 year old daughter a few days ago.

Baby M: Dada, what was that sound?

Me: Oh, I think the kids left the video games on in the other room.

Baby M: No. The sound came out of my butt.

It just makes you want to hold her and say, "Never grow up, baby, never grow up."

The Internet makes me laugh

 

Which one is your favorite? And are there more I should be seeing?

My family acting out Empire Strikes Back

"I am... your Mother. Search out your feelings. You know it to be true."

Feel free to add your own geeky Star Wars references in the comments.

And don't worry, the baby has a robotic hand now.

Wonderful Wednesday: Adults dressing as monsters and robots and then wrestling as if in a Japanese monster movie

Someone tell me that this still exists and continues to happen somewhere. Because I am ready for a road trip.



WHO IS IN FOR OUR ROAD TRIP?

This came from Josh Young.

LINKS! The sausage of the Internet

Hands, feet, no eyes. But still reading. Weird.

Well. It had to happen. I mean, it always happens in the comics. SUPER VILLAINS ARE TRYING TO MAKE SUPER HEROES ILLEGAL. In the real world.

In other superhero news, Flying Color Comics in Walnut Creek, California, is taking a stand against domestic violence.

Also. My friend Matt Hiller is in Hawaii at the Pokemon World Championships because his son totally rocks at the Pokemon game. Which means that my daughters better stop cleaning their rooms and start playing video games. GET TO WORK, KIDS!

Luc Reid shared this interesting article about neuroscience, fiction and what happens to your brain when you read fiction. Short answer: You become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

Eavesdropping With Matt (Episode Sixty-One: Maybe we disagree on the definition of 'classy')

Now THIS is classy. Buy some
 classy Star Wars art from Greg Peltz here.

Dedicated to the four people behind me eating dinner at Thai Noon, who were having a VERY LOUD conversation that really did not require any eavesdropping as such.

Guy 1: With one or two exceptions, the strip clubs in San Francisco are slutty.

Guy 2: What do you mean?

Guy 1: They're just full of skinny women prancing around and taking their clothes off. They're not classy.

So... a classy strip club would require... that it not be a strip club. I can agree with that definition. Strip clubs are not classy. That's practically the definition of classy.

Now it's time for you to read more Eavesdropping with Matt.

ATTEMPTED MURDER!

I saw this on the UFO Facebook site and I said I was going to rip it off. And I am a man of my word.

Kids are funny

Earlier this week I told my three year old it was time to go to bed. She started throwing a tantrum, which is not typical (evidence, I suppose, that she needed to go to bed). As I carried her up the stairs, she pulled her hand back to slap me and I quickly said, "No. You will not hit me." She put her hand down and started crying harder.

When we got to her room, I laid her in her bed and she started kicking and flailing. I told her I would go out in the hallway and she could call me in when she had calmed down. Pretty much immediately she started crying and calling, "Daddy, daddy, come hold me!" Which was sweet. So I did.

So, while I was laying there on her bed, with her arms wrapped around my neck, she started to relax and finally she said, "Daddy, I really want to hit you so bad. But I never want to hit you." Then she gave me a kiss.

This made me happy today

What do you think?

Wonderful Wednesday: Japanese Robot Battle Armor Car Thing

You know that here at BHR when I put up a "Wonderful Wednesday" post it's 65% likely that it will be something about Japan, the country most full of wonderful.

Today is one of those days!

The Dark Knight blows his cover

I can't believe I still haven't seen this movie.

Kids love giant pythons so much!

If you don't like snakes, you will not like this video.

Apparently this kid loves snakes a lot.

Invisible Mercedes is rad

Speaking of invisible vehicles, this was a really cool idea. Now I just need a bunch of LEDs and some cameras.



Also, if someone would like to donate a Mercedes, I would allow that.

God is not a white man

UFO Kickstarter Campaign

You may recall this announcement that I have an upcoming humorous short story about a down-on-his-luck vampire who is hired by a bunch of ignorant townsfolk to deal with their supernatural problems.

Well, now's your chance to pre-order the book and get lots of cool extras.

Alex Shvartzman, the editor of Unidentified Flying Objects just put up a Kickstarter campaign. You can preorder the book and get things like: free stories, a hardback copy of the book, editorial feedback on one of your own writing projects, dinner with the editor or a writing workshop with the editor, all depending on how much you pledge.

UFO has a story from Mike Resnick (one of the biggest award winners in the science fiction community) and stories from Nebula and Hugo award winning authors. And also me.

Anyway, check it out, and throw a couple of bucks into the campaign.

AND, if you would like to get a sneak preview of the stories, check out this story by Nebula Award nominated author Jake Kerr. It's a story about the Twitter feed on the day that aliens come to destroy the entire Earth (except for Canada).

Zhao's invisible bicycles!

I enjoyed this art project by Zhao Hausen where he's taking pictures of people commuting in China and then removing their bicycles from the picture.

Top 5 Posts in July

Here are the top five posts from last month. Kittens, groin punches, the Olympics and writing are all represented here, which is to say, it's a pretty typical month!

1. The Olympic hymn and performance that NBC thought that Americans shouldn't see.

2. The post where I get punched in the groin.

3. The post in which I reveal the excellent news about my new book, The Sword of Six Worlds!

4. The post linking to my article in this month's Relevant Magazine.

5. This video, in which my kids are teaching kittens to go down slides.

"A New Conversation"; Mark Charles responds to the US government apology to Native Americans

My friend Mark Charles posted this video this week, and I thought it was both insightful and moving.



You can find more information about the US government's apology to Native American peoples as well as info about the event Mark is hosting in D.C. this December on his website.

Abide With Me (Olympics opening ceremony, 2012)

I've not been watching the Olympics the last few days because I'm speaking at a high school camp and thus, no television. What I have been watching is everyone complaining about NBC and their coverage.

I was, however, shocked to hear that NBC cut the following (quite moving) song and performance in tribute to those "who are not able to be with us" at the Olympics this year. I thought both the hymn and the performance were beautiful.



What did NBC air instead of this? An interview between Ryan Seacrest and Michael Phelps. Because "that's what Americans want." I'm sorry, NBC, but maybe you're out of touch with what we want.

My kids teaching kittens to go down the slide

We recently got three kittens. The kids named them Blizzard (he looked white when we first got him, but he's quickly turning orange), Raven (because you should always name at least one of your cats after a bird) and Sweetie (because a three year old was involved in the naming).

The kids are pretty dedicated to the idea that their kittens should be trained. So, using a regimen largely involving kitty treats and sticks, the kids have taught their kittens to climb the stairs of the slides in our back yard and then slide down.

See for yourself:



The cats do this gladly, and will even wait in line on the ladder (at least for a minute or so). I have more videos to share with you, but I'm having trouble getting them off my phone and onto the computer. I'll try to put them up later this week!

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES takes over my blog's traffic statistics

I just noticed this today.

Banksy Vs. The London Olympics

If you've been around here for a while you know that I'm a fan of the renowned street artist Banksy.

Banksy has recently hit the streets of London, making some art for the London Olympics. The only problem is that the London Olympics has pronounced that all graffiti will be done away with before the games.

You can see more of Banksy's work here.

But don't worry, if London paints over Banksy's street art, we'll still have the London games mascots:

Okay, the mascots are weird. But they've also shown support of graffiti art in the past.

Anyway. If you see some Banksy about to be painted over, go ahead and chip it off the wall and send it to me.

Dreams: Monster vs. Robot

I had a dream last night that there was an entire industry built around this one very successful concept of giant robots and monsters fighting each other. But instead of being like the (current) Japanese stories in which this is a sort of science fiction/action concept, these were all written as tragedies. Everyone would weep when the monster was beaten back into the sea by the giant robot, or if the robot was defeated, it would create a cultural talking point about the sadness that these robots and monsters must keep fighting one another. They had movies, comics and novels about these emotionally-laden battles.

And then my kid woke me up to make some cereal for her. And here I am.

Imaginary Jesus Stage Play coming this fall!

Krista and I will be attending opening night at the Mustard See Theatre in St. Louis! Hope to see you there!

Wonderful Wednesday: Best Moonwalking Ever*

*Except for people who actually walked on the moon.

New Short Story Coming this Fall!

I sold a short story last week to an upcoming anthology called Unidentified Funny Objects! UFO is a collection of humorous science fiction and fantasy releasing this October or November.

I'm pretty excited about this story and the collection, which you can see has a story by Mike Resnick in it! Neat!

My story is called "The Working Stiff"and it's about a down-on-his-luck vampire, his back-talking thrall and the town that hires them to take care of their supernatural pest problem.

It's My Birthday!

And since it's my birthday I can do whatever I want. It's a rule in our family. A rule which I instated one year... ON MY BIRTHDAY.

What I want to do this year is make this announcement about my next book.

What's that, you say? You didn't know I had another book coming out?

Yeah, well, that's why I'm announcing it of course! I haven't been talking about it much, but I've been working with my publisher, editing the book and generally getting ready. It comes out this Fall, probably in early September. I'll be giving you more details (publisher name, exact release date, etc.) in the near future.

If you're a long time minion here at BHR you've already heard me talk about it... it's a fantasy novel I wrote for my kids called The Sword of Six Worlds and here's the cover:

In any case, if all goes well and we hit certain sales numbers, there will be sequels. So GET READY! Because it's my birthday and I say so!

Updates to come (eventually) at SIXWORLDS.COM!

My article in Relevant Magazine

It's been uncharacteristically quiet around here, but that doesn't mean I haven't been writing (wait, was that too many negatives in one sentence?).

In fact, if you're wishing you had a little something to read from yours truly, check out this month's issue of Relevant Magazine. I was glad to see the cover article was about the Avett Brothers, a band I enjoy and listen to regularly, and inside (in fact right next to my own article!) was an article about Of Monsters and Men. Nice!

You can see the article online as well right about here (half of it's behind the subscription wall).

Anyway, I have a few other writing announcements coming out this week... keep your eyes peeled (ew, gross) for further announcements.

STINT team leaders training

Starting tonight, people start trickling into town for our STINT team leader's training. STINT is the international intern program for Cru, the organization I work for!

It's pretty cool that we get to host it here in Portland this year. Looking forward to a fun time!

The Higgs Boson explained

You probably heard this week that the "Higgs boson" has been all-but-proven to exist, which is pretty cool. Unless you have no idea what that means. In which case it's completely shrug-worthy. I thought a few of you out there might enjoy seeing this video done a while back, which explains the Higgs boson in a fun, accessible way. Enjoy!


The Higgs Boson Explained from PHD Comics on Vimeo.

Teaching your kids what is funny

Last week my 2 year old came up, punched me in the crotch and shouted, "KNOCK KNOCK!"

I can see that she gets her sense of humor from her father.

Ha ha ha! Whoooo is there?

I know you're excited to go see Spider-Man!

Maybe this will tide you over. Also, extra fun stuff for fans of Freaks and Geeks!

Can't Wait for the Movies: Spider-Man from Samm Levine      

SAM THE AMERICAN EAGLE PRESENTS: Stars and Stripes Forever!

Happy fourth of July! Have a great day!

NOT a pattern in the leaves

My almost-three-year-old was falling asleep in bed the other night and asked me to come lay beside her, which I did. It was dusk, and the maple tree outside her window nearly completely fills the view. She looked out the window and said quietly, "There's a ghost out there."

I didn't say anything, and she said it again. "I can see its eyes." She looked at me for a minute, then back out the window. "It's wearing glasses."

I said, "It's probably just a pattern in the leaves."

She said, "It's not a pattern in the leaves! I can see its eyes! I can see its glasses!"

"Do you want me to close the shades?"

"No."

Apparently it wasn't scary. I'm not sure what she was talking about. But she rolled over and said under her breath, "NOT a pattern in the leaves."

This song has been stalking me

I don't mind, though, because I enjoy it pretty well.

Also, this is rad: