Cabbie: I picked up a guy at the airport, a business guy a lot like you except he had been drinking quite a bit and he kept saying "Robbery this" and "robbery that" about how he was going to rob me and I started to get sick of it. Then he said, "What would you do if I did try to rob you?" and I said, "I would blow a hole right through you because you got in the front seat, which was stupid, and I've got a gun." Then he said, "You've got a gun?" and I said, "Yeah, and I've been pointing it at you through my jacket for the last five minutes. Now take your wallet out." And he said, "What?" and I said, "Take your wallet out, take out all the money and put it on the seat." I stopped the car and told him to get out and he said, "What about my money?" and I said, "That's my money now."
Me: That's awesome. Did you get much of a tip?
Cabbie: About $800. I called the cab company and the city and told them what I did and they said, "Good. You keep the money."
Me (just starting to wonder if I should be worried that he apparently carries a gun and trying to figure out if I should ask him about it): That's, uh, that's great.
Cabbie: Of course I still carry my piece in case anyone tries to rob me.
Me (wondering about the business guy who was "a lot like me"): Of course.