Dedicated to the ancient and dessicated man in front of me at the grocery store yesterday, and to the plucky young checker-lady who waited on him.
Lady Checker: Do you need help getting out to your car?
Old Man: No. But I could use some help when I get home. Carrying in my groceries. And then opening a bottle of wine --
Lady Checker: ha ha ha--
Bagger (after the old man shuffles off): I am taking notes from that guy.