I'm excited about the opportunity to spend some time with college students talking about Jesus. The Christian students at Irvine have been inviting their friends and starting conversations about who Jesus is all week. If you're in the Irvine area come out tonight and let's hang out!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
What I'm up to today
This morning I'm about to leap onto a plane (into a plane?) on my way to southern California. I'll be hanging out at UC Irvine from 11 to 1 handing out copies of Imaginary Jesus
with some friends, and then, this evening, we're holding a little meeting where I'll be talking with people from all sorts of backgrounds about our imaginary Jesuses and the real Jesus.
I'm excited about the opportunity to spend some time with college students talking about Jesus. The Christian students at Irvine have been inviting their friends and starting conversations about who Jesus is all week. If you're in the Irvine area come out tonight and let's hang out!
I'm excited about the opportunity to spend some time with college students talking about Jesus. The Christian students at Irvine have been inviting their friends and starting conversations about who Jesus is all week. If you're in the Irvine area come out tonight and let's hang out!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Wonderful Wednesday: The Joy of Jumping
Okay, people. Today I sharing a video of my children for Wonderful Wednesday. This is the first time I have done this. My children are, in fact, wonderful. As wonderful as Hello Kitty Beer, or hand-painted manhole covers or oversized Japanese robots. So enjoy this video of my girls laughing hysterically on the trampoline:
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Ridiculous Reviewers On Amazon: One Star Review for To Kill A Mockingbird
And here's our ridiculous reviewer, who gives it a one star. I've underlined my favorite bits:
1) The characters are BLACK AND WHITE? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Come on, now. You can do better than that.
2) Trailor trash. It's like a woman who was trailer trash had a baby with a sailor. Awww, it's sweet.
3) Deep as a rain puddle wouldn't be a favorite part, if it weren't for this reply from the hilarious Jaz, below:
Thank you, Ridiculous Reviewer, for your silly opinion. This is America, and you're welcome to share it.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Eavesdropping with Matt (Episode Fifty-One: A Rose By Any Other Name)
Dedicated to the disembodied voices two aisles over from me in the Fred Meyer's on 78th street.
Woman (calling): Marco!
Man: Polo!
Woman: Sir, I am not playing a game. I am trying to find my son, who is named Marco.
Man: Anytime I hear someone yell Marco, I always say Polo.
Woman (calling): Marco!
Man: Polo!
Woman: Sir, I am not playing a game. I am trying to find my son, who is named Marco.
Man: Anytime I hear someone yell Marco, I always say Polo.
Friday, April 08, 2011
Poor Baby Has Jet Lag
I took this video when we got back from Florida. The baby was having a hard time. Krista and I always try to explain to people how to deal with kids who are going through jet lag, but the fact is they are just saying exactly what everyone else is feeling. Baby M cried the first time I showed her this video, but this morning she laughed at it so I decided it's fair game to share on the internet:
Thursday, April 07, 2011
Amish Girls Dig Imaginary Jesus
I like to drop by Borders and see if they have copies of my book. I was in a nearby town this week and dropped by the local bookstore to find this lovely display of Imaginary Jesus
together with its regular shelf buddy, More than Words
byJudith Miller.
I noticed as I looked at these two books together on the shelf that the young Amish lady in the book seemed to be looking at Imaginary Jesus pretty closely. Hmm. Could it just be my imagination?
Nope. That Amish girl is totally digging Imaginary Jesus.
I am thinking about writing Judith Miller and asking her how she feels about our books sharing a shelf. I might just read her book first. Because if our books are going to start dating, I want to know who is potentially going to be at the Thanksgiving table come November.
| Why hello there. |
| I really like your glasses. |
I am thinking about writing Judith Miller and asking her how she feels about our books sharing a shelf. I might just read her book first. Because if our books are going to start dating, I want to know who is potentially going to be at the Thanksgiving table come November.
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
Wonderful Wednesday: The Pirate Bedroom (I wants it, precious)
I want to live in this pirate-themed bedroom. I will require a larger bed than is currently included. Krista, you had better start preparing my grog and grub.
Signed, Captain Matt
p.s. Arrrr.
Signed, Captain Matt
p.s. Arrrr.
Tuesday, April 05, 2011
Ridiculous Reviewers On Amazon: One Star Review for Steinbeck's East of Eden
I'm starting a new, regular series here at BHR, called "Ridiculous Reviewers on Amazon." One thing you quickly
notice when you start looking at reviewers on Amazon, is that every book, even the most lauded and beloved books of all time, have a coterie of people who gang up to give it negative reviews and one star. Now, subtract the people who are complaining about the fact that it hurt their feelings, that the cover is too garish and who accidentally bought that book instead of another and want to blame the author for it, and what remains is a bizarre population that not only dislike an amazing book, but who feel compelled to tell the whole world about it.
Now, to be honest, I have some classics I hate. I don't see a lot of value in James Joyce's Ulysses
, for instance. But given the number of people who think it's a mind-blowingly excellent book, I'm not going to go write a vicious screed about it on Amazon.
Anyway, I thought it would be fun to highlight these every week or so, choosing books I love (giving me an excuse to talk about the book) and my favorite (i.e. funniest or most ridiculous) negative review.
Here's our first one:


East of Eden
is, perhaps, my favorite novel of all time. It's the story of three generations of a farming family called the Trasks, and it plays out (over and over) the story of Cain and Abel. It deals with family ties, the struggle to overcome one's sinful nature, the reality of love and the difficulties and complications brought on by successive generations of sinful people living in a family together. It probably has the clearest picture of the human condition of any book I've read, and it has a hopeful, life-affirming message about choosing to overcome who and what we are to be something (someone) better. It takes place in the early days of the settling of California, and as such pretty much all the characters are farmers and people somehow connected to farm life. I've read this novel probably ten times in the last twelve years, and I'm about to pick it up again. It continually holds something new and fresh for me, and if you haven't read it, I think you should give it a try. In my opinion, it's a better, more powerful work than The Grapes of Wrath
or Of Mice and Men
(both of which are excellent).
And now for our one star critic. I've highlighted my favorite sentence. You poor deluded soul. Thanks for the anonymous review. I'm proud to include you as our very first Ridiculous Reviewer on Amazon:
Now, to be honest, I have some classics I hate. I don't see a lot of value in James Joyce's Ulysses
Anyway, I thought it would be fun to highlight these every week or so, choosing books I love (giving me an excuse to talk about the book) and my favorite (i.e. funniest or most ridiculous) negative review.
Here's our first one:
East of Eden
And now for our one star critic. I've highlighted my favorite sentence. You poor deluded soul. Thanks for the anonymous review. I'm proud to include you as our very first Ridiculous Reviewer on Amazon:
Monday, April 04, 2011
Eavesdropping With Matt (Episode Fifty: You and Your Racist Friend)
This special 50th episode of Eavesdropping with Matt is dedicated to the fragile old man at the workout facility, who I probably could have (should have?) snapped in half with one mighty arm, to Popular Mechanics magazine, which stood on the magazine rack and to (gulp) ME!Our scene opens with ME, Matt Mikalatos, standing beside the magazine rack at the workout facility, reading a copy of the New Yorker (Why am I "working out" by reading the New Yorker? Because that's how I work out, that's why! Reading the New Yorker is hard.).
Enter an old man, who motions to me to take out my ear buds so he can talk to me. I take them out and lean down to him so I can hear him clearly.
OLD MAN: We don't have to worry about 'China's secret war plan.' We're not going to fight them. We just need to worry about whether or not the Jews are going to get us into more wars.
ME: Uhhhhh.
Exit Old Man.
Now I am doomed to think of retorts to the old man forever. Something better than "Uhhhhhh." Like, "I'm Jewish" or "You're crazy" or "You better watch your back old man because we're watching you." Sigh.
Saturday, April 02, 2011
Friday, April 01, 2011
Faith and Culture Writer's Conference tomorrow
I'll be spending the day tomorrow at the first annual Portland Faith and Culture Writer's Conference. There will be lots of published writers there sharing tips and advice about the publishing world (everything from children's books to screenplays). Yours truly will be there, as well, teaching a seminary about writing what you love and still getting published. No promises, but I might tap dance.
Okay, I'm not going to tap dance.
Here's the schedule.
It's not too late to come, the organizers told me they will still take walk-ins tomorrow morning. So if you'd like to come hang out tomorrow, I'd love to see you there!
Okay, I'm not going to tap dance.
Here's the schedule.
It's not too late to come, the organizers told me they will still take walk-ins tomorrow morning. So if you'd like to come hang out tomorrow, I'd love to see you there!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Eavesdropping with Matt (Episode Forty-Nine: This Complicated World We Live In)
Dedicated to the young woman at the Pensacola airport, and to the gentleman who worked there and helped her get to her gate on time.
Young woman: Sir, can you help me find my gate? It's 24 C.
Worker: What? There's no gate 24 at this airport. It doesn't go that high.
Young woman (raising her voice a little): It says 24 C right here on my ticket.
Worker: But that can't be...
Young woman (nearly yelling): Look at my ticket!
The worker takes her ticket and studies it closely.
Worker: 24 C is your seat assignment. You're at gate 12.
Young woman (very quiet): Oh. Thank you.
Here's a link to more Eavesdropping With Matt from months and years past.
Young woman: Sir, can you help me find my gate? It's 24 C.
Worker: What? There's no gate 24 at this airport. It doesn't go that high.
Young woman (raising her voice a little): It says 24 C right here on my ticket.
Worker: But that can't be...
Young woman (nearly yelling): Look at my ticket!
The worker takes her ticket and studies it closely.
Worker: 24 C is your seat assignment. You're at gate 12.
Young woman (very quiet): Oh. Thank you.
Here's a link to more Eavesdropping With Matt from months and years past.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Wonderful Wednesday: If you love this, you will feel like a geek. I think you will love it.
You need to write yourself a lovely poem and then take it to text-align: centaur, type it in, and then press the button at the bottom of the page. Off you go. You're welcome.
And, if you don't like that you can go follow the adventures of the cobra that recently escaped from the Bronx zoo.
And, if you don't like that you can go follow the adventures of the cobra that recently escaped from the Bronx zoo.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
The Middle East revolution, as told by the Angry Birds
My friend Darren, always two steps ahead in the internet memes, showed me this quite hilarious video today, starring the Angry Birds.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Imaginary Jesus mini-play for your church
A woman named Jaye Barnes wrote me recently, wondering if it would be okay if she used the Communion chapter of Imaginary Jesus with her youth group. I told her that was fine with me, so long as she told me how it goes. She did things one better by making a little adaptation of that chapter of the book into play form, and sent it to me so I could make it available to whomever might like to use it for a teaching time on Communion, or as a short skit for Easter at church.
Here's the script she came up with. It's downloadable. Enjoy! And thanks, Jaye!
Here's the script she came up with. It's downloadable. Enjoy! And thanks, Jaye!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Wonderful Wednesday: Hott Tubz
Out here at Big Break, our MCs are Shelby and Andy (also known as "Bullet"). They are two-thirds of the comedy trio "Something On the Wing" (a Shatner reference? I'll need to look into that). The third is Boggsy (the infamous "John" in this video). Because people come from all over the United States for spring break in Panama City, Shelby and Andy wanted to make sure everyone understood that hot tubs are good, but that there also serious, unbreakable rules to be followed. So they came up with this little video, which I think you will enjoy. P.S. If you were at the Northwest or Red River winter conference this year, watch for a special appearance by one of your speakers in this video.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Fun With Captions
![]() |
| Hey guys! I just had a great idea! |
"Ahhhh! He's blinding us with his gigantic bald!"
"It's time for the most rare of eclipses... the kind caused by an enormous human head."
"Professor Xavier, my codename will be Forehead Flame!"
"And that's why I always wear a miner's light on my head."
"Gah. I hate it when faeries fly around my face when I'm speaking."
"Spontaneous combustion... it always starts at the top and works its way down."
Monday, March 21, 2011
Big Break on the news
This last week, one of the local news channels carried this story about our students out here at Big Break 11 in Panama City Beach.
Christian Science Fiction and Fantasy Tour (Day 1): THE RESURRECTION by Mike Duran
I love it when people I know get professionally published, even when I don't know them all that well. Mike Duran and I have exchanged notes a couple of times over email the last couple of years, mostly because we both did a little work (okay, I did a little, he did a lot) with a little magazine called Coach's Midnight Diner. I follow him on twitter. I lurk around at his blog from time to time.
And I'm thrilled to say that Mike's first novel, The Resurrection
is available at bookstores everywhere now! Here's the description of the book:
This week the Christian Science Fiction and Fantasy blog tour is talking about Mike's book, so if you follow the links below this week you'll find reviews, interviews and so on all week. I think you'll find it enjoyable. If you don't want to click through all the links, Becky
usually keeps track of who has posted and on what topics.
Noah Arsenault
Brandon Barr
Red Bissell
Book Reviews By Molly
Keanan Brand
Kathy Brasby
Grace Bridges
Beckie Burnham
Melissa Carswell
Jeff Chapman
Christian Fiction Book Reviews
Carol Bruce Collett
Valerie Comer
Karri Compton
Wanda Costinak
Amy Cruson
CSFF Blog Tour
Janey DeMeo
Cynthia Dyer
Tori Greene
Nikole Hahn
Katie Hart
Joleen Howell
Bruce Hennigan
Becky Jesse
Cris Jesse
Jason Joyner
Carol Keen
Emily LaVigne
Shannon McNear
Matt Mikalatos
Rebecca LuElla Miller
Mirtika
Joan Nienhuis
Nissa
John W. Otte
Gavin Patchett
Sarah Sawyer
Andrea Schultz
Tammy Shelnut
Kathleen Smith
Donna Swanson
Jessica Thomas
Steve Trower
Fred Warren
Dona Watson
Phyllis Wheeler
Nicole White
Dave Wilson
And I'm thrilled to say that Mike's first novel, The Resurrection
When Ruby Case, an unassuming crippled woman, inexplicably raises a boy from the dead, she creates uproar in the quiet coastal town of Stonetree. Some brand her a witch, others a miracle worker. Yet Reverend Ian Clark could care less. Dogged by demons and immersed in self-pity, Clark is being unwittingly drawn into a secret religious order--one that threatens his very life. But he's about to get a wake-up call.
Together, Ruby and Reverend Clark are thrust into a search for answers... and a collision with unspeakable darkness. For behind the quaint tourist shops and artist colonies lies a history of deceit. And a presence more malignant than anything they can imagine. Yet a battle is brewing, the resurrection is the first volley, and the unlikely duo are the only ones who can save them. But can they overcome their own brokenness in time to stop the evil, or will they be its next victim?
This week the Christian Science Fiction and Fantasy blog tour is talking about Mike's book, so if you follow the links below this week you'll find reviews, interviews and so on all week. I think you'll find it enjoyable. If you don't want to click through all the links, Becky
usually keeps track of who has posted and on what topics.
Noah Arsenault
Brandon Barr
Red Bissell
Book Reviews By Molly
Keanan Brand
Kathy Brasby
Grace Bridges
Beckie Burnham
Melissa Carswell
Jeff Chapman
Christian Fiction Book Reviews
Carol Bruce Collett
Valerie Comer
Karri Compton
Wanda Costinak
Amy Cruson
CSFF Blog Tour
Janey DeMeo
Cynthia Dyer
Tori Greene
Nikole Hahn
Katie Hart
Joleen Howell
Bruce Hennigan
Becky Jesse
Cris Jesse
Jason Joyner
Carol Keen
Emily LaVigne
Shannon McNear
Matt Mikalatos
Rebecca LuElla Miller
Mirtika
Joan Nienhuis
Nissa
John W. Otte
Gavin Patchett
Sarah Sawyer
Andrea Schultz
Tammy Shelnut
Kathleen Smith
Donna Swanson
Jessica Thomas
Steve Trower
Fred Warren
Dona Watson
Phyllis Wheeler
Nicole White
Dave Wilson
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Why the movie Limitless deserves cold and unfeeling rejection from you and everyone you know
I went to see Limitless last night, a movie based on Alan Gynn's novel, The Dark Fields
. How did I like the movie? Hmmm. Well, if this movie were a person, I would have punched it in the face, made a citizen's arrest and thrown it in jail.
The story is about Eddie Morra, a washed out leech want-to-be author who is living off his girlfriend. Eddie runs across an old acquaintance who offers to help him overcome his writer's block using a new drug that will "unlock his brain's potential." Meaning that Eddie will soon be using 100% of his brain instead of 20%. There are going to be ***SPOILERS*** below. Because you should never see this movie.
Now, let's just stop here. If you had a sudden infusion of brain power that made you five times smarter and gave you, as Eddie claims, a "four digit IQ" what would you do? Go on, pick a couple things. Write a book, maybe (Eddie does that). Solve world hunger? Cure cancer?
Eddie the Super Genius borrows a hundred grand from a violent Russian mobster. Because he's not making money fast enough on the stock market, where he is "quintupling" his investment every day. He's already up to 7 grand. But instead of waiting TWO DAYS to get to over 100 grand he borrows the money. FROM A VIOLENT RUSSIAN MOBSTER. Yes, that's right. Eddie is the dumbest smart person in the world. And then when he immediately quintuples his 100 grand he doesn't go pay the mob off. Because he wants to have a violent run in later.
Now that Eddie has a vicious gangster after him, he uses his enormous brain power to seduce some women, get rich, and make some party friends. Oh, and get his girlfriend back. And keep his other women on the side. And maybe kill one of those girls he meets at a party (he's experiencing some weird memory loss stuff by this point, a side effect of his genius. He's not sure if he killed her ). He does other smart stuff, too, like keep his entire stash of irreplaceable Smart Drugs hidden in one place. In a conch shell on his girlfriend's coffee table. And encouraging his girlfriend to try the drug, knowing that it causes sickness and death if you stop taking it, and he's running out of pills.
At this point, you start to suspect that maybe, just maybe, the filmmakers know what they are doing. You start to think, "Aha, what we have here is an unreliable narrator who is extolling the virtues of his drug because he's a junkie. The drug doesn't make him smart or invincible. It makes him feel smart and invincible. And eventually, like any junkie, he's going to hit bottom. And that will only be right and just and what happens in the real world."
Or, you know, he could easily overcome anything that comes after him, turn his rock bottom moment (which was absolutely disgusting) into a victory, and destroy all his opponents (who are mostly after him because he is the world's dumbest smart guy and he brought it on himself) by TAKING MORE DRUGS THAN THEM. Yeah. That's what happens.
The movie ends with the junkie claiming he's off the drugs. But you sort of doubt it. Oh, and he's on the road to the White House, because he's just that smart.
THE END
I suspect, by the way, that the original ending of the movie might have been bleak punishment for Eddie. Which is what should have happened, and I'm sure that's how the book ends. Thanks, Hollywood, for giving us a "happy" ending instead, where the moral of the movie is, "DO DRUGS! Do them at higher dosages and for longer periods of time and by more insane methods of ingestion than the people around you, and you will be a hero."
Which leads to the ultimate conclusion, which is that the best thing about this movie was the company I saw it with. I had fun, guys, thanks for inviting me.
Sigh. Here's the trailer.Oh yeah. Robert deNiro does a cameo-ish appearance as Warren Buffet. To show how smart our hero is, that he can outsmart Bobby deNiro.
The story is about Eddie Morra, a washed out leech want-to-be author who is living off his girlfriend. Eddie runs across an old acquaintance who offers to help him overcome his writer's block using a new drug that will "unlock his brain's potential." Meaning that Eddie will soon be using 100% of his brain instead of 20%. There are going to be ***SPOILERS*** below. Because you should never see this movie.
Now, let's just stop here. If you had a sudden infusion of brain power that made you five times smarter and gave you, as Eddie claims, a "four digit IQ" what would you do? Go on, pick a couple things. Write a book, maybe (Eddie does that). Solve world hunger? Cure cancer?
Eddie the Super Genius borrows a hundred grand from a violent Russian mobster. Because he's not making money fast enough on the stock market, where he is "quintupling" his investment every day. He's already up to 7 grand. But instead of waiting TWO DAYS to get to over 100 grand he borrows the money. FROM A VIOLENT RUSSIAN MOBSTER. Yes, that's right. Eddie is the dumbest smart person in the world. And then when he immediately quintuples his 100 grand he doesn't go pay the mob off. Because he wants to have a violent run in later.
Now that Eddie has a vicious gangster after him, he uses his enormous brain power to seduce some women, get rich, and make some party friends. Oh, and get his girlfriend back. And keep his other women on the side. And maybe kill one of those girls he meets at a party (he's experiencing some weird memory loss stuff by this point, a side effect of his genius. He's not sure if he killed her ). He does other smart stuff, too, like keep his entire stash of irreplaceable Smart Drugs hidden in one place. In a conch shell on his girlfriend's coffee table. And encouraging his girlfriend to try the drug, knowing that it causes sickness and death if you stop taking it, and he's running out of pills.
At this point, you start to suspect that maybe, just maybe, the filmmakers know what they are doing. You start to think, "Aha, what we have here is an unreliable narrator who is extolling the virtues of his drug because he's a junkie. The drug doesn't make him smart or invincible. It makes him feel smart and invincible. And eventually, like any junkie, he's going to hit bottom. And that will only be right and just and what happens in the real world."
Or, you know, he could easily overcome anything that comes after him, turn his rock bottom moment (which was absolutely disgusting) into a victory, and destroy all his opponents (who are mostly after him because he is the world's dumbest smart guy and he brought it on himself) by TAKING MORE DRUGS THAN THEM. Yeah. That's what happens.
The movie ends with the junkie claiming he's off the drugs. But you sort of doubt it. Oh, and he's on the road to the White House, because he's just that smart.
THE END
I suspect, by the way, that the original ending of the movie might have been bleak punishment for Eddie. Which is what should have happened, and I'm sure that's how the book ends. Thanks, Hollywood, for giving us a "happy" ending instead, where the moral of the movie is, "DO DRUGS! Do them at higher dosages and for longer periods of time and by more insane methods of ingestion than the people around you, and you will be a hero."
Which leads to the ultimate conclusion, which is that the best thing about this movie was the company I saw it with. I had fun, guys, thanks for inviting me.
Sigh. Here's the trailer.Oh yeah. Robert deNiro does a cameo-ish appearance as Warren Buffet. To show how smart our hero is, that he can outsmart Bobby deNiro.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Imaginary Jesus the #1 selling science fiction book on the Amazon Kindle store (for a brief, shining moment)
It was pretty fun to see it hit that slot, and @jadoogan sent me this screen shot of the Kindle store's front page that day, where you can see that IJ is featured along with such notable books as Room and The Holy Bible. Responses from those who noticed were generally quite favorable, with at least one person breaking out into spontaneous dancing.
Now I have my sights on the bestselling Romance book. You're going down, Romance Book Whose Title I Can't Quite Make Out!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Wonderful Wednesday: I Don't Speak English
You know what? I suspected those guys spoke English all along.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Big Break at Panama City Beach, Florida
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| The theme of the conference is "Get Salty" from Matthew... we are the light of the world and salt of the earth. |
Krista, the kids and I are at Big Break this week (and last week, and next week). As you've no doubt noticed, it has impacted my blogging habits.
![]() |
| Guess what I'm saying right now. Go on, guess. |
I'm the Bible teacher for the week, which is a lot of fun... four evenings a week I get to lead the students in a time of studying the Bible and reflecting on the message of Christ. I've been talking with them about why we do evangelism, the "beatitudes" as gospel presentation, the centrality of God's love to understanding the good news about Jesus, and the great commission. We're having a lot of fun, too! I am glad to say that the crowd this week apparently knows all the lyrics to Spongebob Squarepants.
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| Students getting ready to hit the beach! |
About a THOUSAND college students are attending Big Break each week. And there are many, many more than that out on the beaches. I've never seen anything like it. Anyway, there's a little update from us!
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Wonderful Wednesday: Predator, The Musical
Warning: there's some rough language in this musical. But let's be honest, if you were trapped in the jungle while an alien hunter picked off you and your friends, you would probably use some strong language.
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
You're going to laugh
This video is of Krista's cousin's baby boy. It's making the rounds, having been featured on CNN and Fox News and Good Morning America and Jimmy Kimmel live. Crazy. I watched the video and I have to admit the little guy gave me a really good laugh.
I'm still at my conference, which I'm sure will be gret fun. I've got a big stack of paper for ripping if there's a dull moment (which I'm sure there won't be).
Have a great day and remember to enjoy the little things in life, like babies and ripping up paper.
I'm still at my conference, which I'm sure will be gret fun. I've got a big stack of paper for ripping if there's a dull moment (which I'm sure there won't be).
Have a great day and remember to enjoy the little things in life, like babies and ripping up paper.
Monday, February 28, 2011
I don't want to Boar you
Today marks the beginning of our national leadership meetings for the campus ministry of Campus Crusade for Christ. I'm down in Orlandoooooooo, Florida with my boss, Keith Bubalo, and a great big gaggle of my friends and co-workers.
Here's a picture of the last time I was with Keith, in a restaurant in Germany earlier this month. As you can see in the picture, it's me, Keith and a boar. I will let you try to figure out which of us is which.
NOW, for some fun for all of you while I am in meetings today: put your best caption for the photo above in the comments!
Here's a picture of the last time I was with Keith, in a restaurant in Germany earlier this month. As you can see in the picture, it's me, Keith and a boar. I will let you try to figure out which of us is which.
NOW, for some fun for all of you while I am in meetings today: put your best caption for the photo above in the comments!
Friday, February 25, 2011
Now's Your Chance to See the Cover of Night of the Living Dead Christian
Here it is, the cover to Night of the Living Dead Christian. I sent out a sneak peek to all the newsletter subscribers on Wednesday. Here's what it looked like (you can sign up in the column on the right).
Here's the official facebook page.
It's hard to express how pleased I am with this cover. It definitely exceeded my expectations, and turned out better than my original pitch, which was a church in the background with a bloody chainsaw in the foreground. I was kidding. Mostly.
Huge props to the Tyndale design team. Well done.
In the near future we'll see about getting some more goodies related to the book out to you all. But in the meantime you can mark the release date in October-ish and make all your wishes that summer would just go away and get straight to fall so you can get this book in your hot little hands.
Okay. Back to work you lackeys.
Here's the official facebook page.
It's hard to express how pleased I am with this cover. It definitely exceeded my expectations, and turned out better than my original pitch, which was a church in the background with a bloody chainsaw in the foreground. I was kidding. Mostly.
Huge props to the Tyndale design team. Well done.
In the near future we'll see about getting some more goodies related to the book out to you all. But in the meantime you can mark the release date in October-ish and make all your wishes that summer would just go away and get straight to fall so you can get this book in your hot little hands.
Okay. Back to work you lackeys.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Eavesdropping with Matt (Episode Forty-Eight: Take It from Me, Parents Just Don't Understand)
This episode of Eavesdropping with Matt is dedicated to the two lovely women who are the secretaries at the office of our children's doctor.
Secretary #1: I don't know why everyone insists on trying to schedule things with Dr. J. She has a family of her own and her schedule is less flexible.
Secretary #2: I know. It's like people think a doctor will be better with kids just because she has kids.
Secretary #1: That's what the lady I just spoke to said. She wants Dr. J because Dr. J has kids.
Secretary #2: I don't see why parents think that having kids can make someone a better doctor for kids.
AND NOW, using my amazing psychic powers I will reveal something about both secretaries. It's getting clearer. It's getting clearer. I've got it! Neither of them has children. They are far too reasonable. TA-DA! Please feel free to shower me with applause.
Here's a link to more Eavesdropping With Matt from months and years past.
Secretary #1: I don't know why everyone insists on trying to schedule things with Dr. J. She has a family of her own and her schedule is less flexible.
Secretary #2: I know. It's like people think a doctor will be better with kids just because she has kids.
Secretary #1: That's what the lady I just spoke to said. She wants Dr. J because Dr. J has kids.
Secretary #2: I don't see why parents think that having kids can make someone a better doctor for kids.
AND NOW, using my amazing psychic powers I will reveal something about both secretaries. It's getting clearer. It's getting clearer. I've got it! Neither of them has children. They are far too reasonable. TA-DA! Please feel free to shower me with applause.
Here's a link to more Eavesdropping With Matt from months and years past.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Wonderful Wednesday: Gospel of the Trees
My friend Darren showed me this yesterday.
It's the Gospel of the Trees, a website that has pictures, poems and scripture all related to trees. I think you'll like it.
And now, here's a cartoon about trees. If we didn't have trees, we wouldn't have this excellent cartoon:
There would be some other problems too.
It's the Gospel of the Trees, a website that has pictures, poems and scripture all related to trees. I think you'll like it.
And now, here's a cartoon about trees. If we didn't have trees, we wouldn't have this excellent cartoon:
There would be some other problems too.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Just leave me alone, I'm reading a book!
I'm pretty sure that this is my daughter's theme song:
I got this from Jesse Doogan, whose blog you are going to want to watch closely next week during the special ALL IMAGINARY JESUS week of splendor.
I got this from Jesse Doogan, whose blog you are going to want to watch closely next week during the special ALL IMAGINARY JESUS week of splendor.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Wonderful Wednesday: Gil Kane's The Flame Horse
My friend Alan sent me this a couple of weeks ago. Let's be honest, everyone wants to read this. I want to see that guy on the white horse fight the skull guy. And I sincerely hope that some of the alien spaceships get involved.
Sadly, I can't find any evidence that this comic was ever made.
NOW... stop your crying and enjoy what little we have of Gil Kane's The Flame Horse!
Sadly, I can't find any evidence that this comic was ever made.
NOW... stop your crying and enjoy what little we have of Gil Kane's The Flame Horse!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Imaginary Jesus: FATAL ALLIANCE ON DUNE WITH THE ROUGH BEASTS OF EMPIRE!!!!!!
One of the things I like about Amazon is when the book gets to certain ranks (it was in the low 6,000s today!), they compare the book to other books in the same genre.
Of course, no one seems to be able to figure out what genre Imaginary Jesus belongs to, so it ends up in categories like this one: Science Fiction Adventure! In which IJ dukes it out with Star Trek, Star Wars and Dune.
Now, if only I could get six or twelve Imaginary Jesus movies and a television series or two under my belt, I think IJ would have a fighting chance.
Of course, no one seems to be able to figure out what genre Imaginary Jesus belongs to, so it ends up in categories like this one: Science Fiction Adventure! In which IJ dukes it out with Star Trek, Star Wars and Dune.
Now, if only I could get six or twelve Imaginary Jesus movies and a television series or two under my belt, I think IJ would have a fighting chance.
Harry Potter! Now you've turned my own children against me!
I was talking with my father-in-law this weekend about Imaginary Jesus, and he asked if there would be another printing, and I told him that the next printing will be the third printing. Which is pretty awesome. I walked into the kitchen, and Z. walked up to me and said:
Z: Dad, can you imagine how many printings there have been of Harry Potter?
Me: I know. A lot.
Z: Yes. Because everyone loves Harry Potter.
Z: Dad, can you imagine how many printings there have been of Harry Potter?
Me: I know. A lot.
Z: Yes. Because everyone loves Harry Potter.
Monday, February 14, 2011
My favorite Romantic movies for Valentine's Day #1: George of the Jungle
You probably think I'm joking, but this is one of my favorite movies of all time. It's appropriate for all ages, it's funny and it has a sweet love story. And let's be honest, any love story that starts with the hero accidentally knocking out the heroine while saving her from a lion, after which he sniffs her hair and says, "Funny looking fella" is going to be a classic.
A tragic love story from Thailand in honor of Valentine's Day
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
You fool! If only you had upgraded the roof of your porch... *sniff* And now... it is too late.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
A Valentine's Video from Jamie Carie
My friend Jamie Carie is a Romance Novelist. Yes, it's true. She's sending out strong Valentine's vibes today, including this video with quotes from her book. I thought you might enjoy it. So here you go:
Friday, February 11, 2011
Do you ever feel like someone is lurking behind you, watching your every move and waiting to POUNCE?
Sometimes I like to sneak up behind people who are getting their picture taken and insert myself into the scenery. Surprise!
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
Wonderful Wednesday: The Smoking Flying Stallion of Vintage Japan
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| If you smoke Peacock Cigarettes, you'll feel like you're riding a leathery winged horse out of the smoking ruins of a well-lined globe. |
I get to see this a lot because Amy, one of my excellent co-workers, has a copy of this over her desk.
Tuesday, February 08, 2011
Jet Lag
Jet lag is usually the worst on day 2, at least in my experience. You wake up tired and can't go back to sleep, at a time of the morning when you should be blissfully snoring on your back.
This morning I probably would have slept through the "danger zone" in which if you wake up, you stay awake, except that the baby hit her head on something in her crib and started to cry. She, of course, went back to sleep. I lay in bed and tried to stay in bed and eventually got up. Which means that I woke Krista up, although she stayed in bed and tried to overcome it.
Jet lag also means that you will laugh at insane things that would usually pass by uncommented, like when someone close to you says, "Is this an animal show?" or "animal attraction" or something like that. I know, I know, there is nothing funny about these things. Intellectually I know this. But my jet lagged mind finds them hysterically funny. I am laughing right now. Ha ha! No one has actually said those things, by the way. I'm just saying that if they did, I would find it funny.
Speaking of which... lack of coherence is also a problem. Sigh.
Okay, it's now close enough to my regular wake up time that I think I will go eat some Honey Nut Cheerios.
If you see me asleep or napping today, or if you catch me staring off into space with a glassy look in my eyes, poke e in the side wmill you?
This morning I probably would have slept through the "danger zone" in which if you wake up, you stay awake, except that the baby hit her head on something in her crib and started to cry. She, of course, went back to sleep. I lay in bed and tried to stay in bed and eventually got up. Which means that I woke Krista up, although she stayed in bed and tried to overcome it.Jet lag also means that you will laugh at insane things that would usually pass by uncommented, like when someone close to you says, "Is this an animal show?" or "animal attraction" or something like that. I know, I know, there is nothing funny about these things. Intellectually I know this. But my jet lagged mind finds them hysterically funny. I am laughing right now. Ha ha! No one has actually said those things, by the way. I'm just saying that if they did, I would find it funny.
Speaking of which... lack of coherence is also a problem. Sigh.
Okay, it's now close enough to my regular wake up time that I think I will go eat some Honey Nut Cheerios.
If you see me asleep or napping today, or if you catch me staring off into space with a glassy look in my eyes, poke e in the side wmill you?
Monday, February 07, 2011
Get Imaginary Jesus FREE FOR YOUR E-READER
For a limited time you can get the e-book version of Imaginary Jesus ABSOLUTELY FREE in Kindle format
, for the Nook, or for your Sony e-reader.
Yes, my friends, the same book that was described as startling, contemporary, meaningful (Publisher's Weekly) and that Relevant Magazine compared to "Monty Python meets C.S. Lewis" is FREE.
I'd appreciate it if you'd let your friends know about this... the more people who know about this the better, so please feel free to download it in multiple formats, send links to your friends, post, facebook, tweet, blog and hire sky writers. Muchas gracias mi amigos!
Yes, my friends, the same book that was described as startling, contemporary, meaningful (Publisher's Weekly) and that Relevant Magazine compared to "Monty Python meets C.S. Lewis" is FREE.
I'd appreciate it if you'd let your friends know about this... the more people who know about this the better, so please feel free to download it in multiple formats, send links to your friends, post, facebook, tweet, blog and hire sky writers. Muchas gracias mi amigos!
Saturday, February 05, 2011
Homeward Bound
We're on our way home from Spain, staying the night in Germany. Here's what happened the last time I stayed in Germany. I hope to be able to send you excellent updates from this, my second overnight stay in Germany.
Sweet dreams everyone.
Sweet dreams everyone.
Friday, February 04, 2011
Wednesday, February 02, 2011
Wonderful Wednesday: The Alhambra
Krista and I are in Spain right now, very near to Granada and the amazing Moorish castle, the Alhambra. Here's a video about the Alhambra from Rick Steves which I think you'll enjoy.
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
THE EARTH IS ABOUT TO GET A SECOND SUN!!!
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| This is a band called Supernova. |
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| My first car was a Nova. |
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| This is a superhero named Nova. |
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| This is Nova making eyes at an alien chick with a knife. Soon -- maybe later this year, maybe a million years from now -- Nova is going to regret this. |
1) Gardens will be planted on the moon!
2) Robots will destroy all human life!
3) Robots will raise the intelligence of dogs so that they can serve their robot masters!
4) Dogs will overthrow and destroy all robots!
Get to it! Before the supernova!
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