Ridiculous Reviewers On Amazon: One Star Review for Steinbeck's East of Eden

I'm starting a new, regular series here at BHR, called "Ridiculous Reviewers on Amazon." One thing you quickly notice when you start looking at reviewers on Amazon, is that every book, even the most lauded and beloved books of all time, have a coterie of people who gang up to give it negative reviews and one star. Now, subtract the people who are complaining about the fact that it hurt their feelings, that the cover is too garish and who accidentally bought that book instead of another and want to blame the author for it, and  what remains is a bizarre population that not only dislike an amazing book, but who feel compelled to tell the whole world about it.

Now, to be honest, I have some classics I hate. I don't see a lot of value in James Joyce's Ulysses, for instance. But given the number of people who think it's a mind-blowingly excellent book, I'm not going to go write a vicious screed about it on Amazon.

Anyway, I thought it would be fun to highlight these every week or so, choosing books I love (giving me an excuse to talk about the book) and my favorite (i.e. funniest or most ridiculous) negative review.

Here's our first one:

East of Eden is, perhaps, my favorite novel of all time. It's the story of three generations of a farming family called the Trasks, and it plays out (over and over) the story of Cain and Abel. It deals with family ties, the struggle to overcome one's sinful nature, the reality of love and the difficulties and complications brought on by    successive generations of sinful people living in a family together. It probably has the clearest picture of the human condition of any book I've read, and it has a hopeful, life-affirming message about choosing to overcome who and what we are to be something (someone) better. It takes place in the early days of the settling of California, and as such pretty much all the characters are farmers and people somehow connected to farm life. I've read this novel probably ten times in the last twelve years, and I'm about to pick it up again. It continually holds something new and fresh for me, and if you haven't read it, I think you should give it a try. In my opinion, it's a better, more powerful work than The Grapes of Wrath or Of Mice and Men (both of which are excellent).

And now for our one star critic. I've highlighted my favorite sentence. You poor deluded soul. Thanks for the anonymous review. I'm proud to include you as our very first Ridiculous Reviewer on Amazon:

James Dean, East of Eden and my wife

We watched part of a documentary on James Dean last night. It mentioned that one of the three films that James Dean starred in before his death was an adaptation of Steinbeck's East of Eden... one of my favorite novels of all time. A lot of people are disturbed by the dark themes in the book, but I find it a fascinating and beautiful re-telling of the story of humanity's Fall.

Krista knows the book is my favorite (I've read it at least once a year since she originally forced me to read it). So she suggested, "You should add that to our Netflix cue."

"That would be fun," I said. "I'll do it."

"Oh, I'm sure that will be fun," she said. Implying, of course, that the content of the story is not something most people would describe as a joyride of free hilarity.

"Now you're just making fun of me," I said.

"Yes," she said.

I'm glad you're home, Krista. I missed you!

The 14th Best Novel

Tonight I finished the novel I, Claudius by Robert Graves.

I came across it because I was looking at the Modern Library's list of the 100 best novels. I was skeptical about the list because I've read some of the top novels and disliked them. Joyce's Ulysses, for instance, is at the top at the list, whereas I would scarcely call it a novel. As near as I can tell Joyce wanted to insult all the literary critics and did so by writing Ulysses and basically flipping them the bird. Which the critics loved and have spent many years fawning over his memory since then.

Fitzgerald's Gatsby is inexplicably number two. It's a fine novel, absolutely. But it ain't the second best novel of all time.

Anyway, I thought I would give the list a chance by trying a novel from it, and I chose I, Claudius.

And I am very pleased. It's a great novel. It's the story of Tiberius Claudius Drusus Nero Germanicus (called Claudius), a crippled, stuttering member of Rome's royal family who survives several increasingly evil emperors to ascend to the throne himself. Part history, part family epic, part philosophical exploration of History and historians, it's well written, profound and fun to read. I love the way that Graves paints the reality of a culture that deifies its ruler.

A great book always sends me searching for everything else the author has written. And yes, I'm planning to dig up all of Graves' books in the near future.

As for The List, I think I'll give it another shot. Apparently there are some great novels mixed in with the pretentious schlock. Oh, and by the way, if you go to look at the "reader's list" (the Modern Library allowed the commoners to vote on their favorites) be prepared for a lot of partisan nonsense sent in by drunken internet societies. For instance, the followers of Ayn Rand voted her novels to the top, immediately followed by L. Ron Hubbard's Battlefield Earth, courtesy of the Scientologists.

Lastly, I don't care what anyone says, East of Eden is a better novel than the Grapes of Wrath and ought to be on the top 100 list for sure.