|Spoiler: the grand finale involves harpoons.|
Of course, that won't keep our ridiculous reviewer friends on Amazon from panning it and giving it the lowest possible rating, putting this work of art on a lower shelf than, say, The Care Bears Movie or an 80s glam rock album.
Here come some of my favorite one star reviews:
i just read this book. everybody like always talks about how great it is and everything. but i don't think so. like, it's been done before, right?? soooo cliched. omg.
She would also like you to know that "the movie was better." Ha ha ha. By the way, a common theme of the negative reviews is that the play is "cliched." Because they've seen this story before. You know, when all these other works were COPYING ROMEO AND JULIET. Sorry, people, it's not cliche if it's the original.
Kelsey says, "It isn't even in English! Fail!" And lest you think that high school kids being forced to write reviews for extra credit are the only critics, observe this classic bit of pomposity from an adult named Jimmy Lin:
Plain and simple - Shakespeare sold out.Ah, a bitter Christopher Marlowe fan. "Marlowe's imaginary, unwritten works are better than Shakespeare's actual ones!" Touche, sir, touche.
*R&J* is simply sensationalist trash. It contains a good portion of Shakespeares worst verse and insipid characterizations. It's unchallenging, crude, and simply melodrama for the most part. It's the Shakespearean equivalent of "Party of Five" and the Spice Girls.
And forget Shakespeare. There are other fine Elizabethan writers who have been forced to exist in the "Bard's" shadow. Had Marlowe lived, we wouldn't have even known about Shakespeare. And Donne finally been recognized for the genius that he is.
Musette Wright shares some questions that concerned her enough to make Romeo and Juliet a one-star experience:
*How did this feud really begin?
*Why can't this story end in happily ever after?
*Why does Lady Capulet have to be so stuck up on everybody?
*Why couldn't Shakespeare have written in a language we could all understand?
*Why does everybody have to jump to conclusions?
And lastly, in the "Teacher, don't grade me down just because I am using a lot of drugs" category, we have a review from "Bruce Banner" who says:
This was by far the worst science fiction novel I have ever watched. While the story of two lovers may seem romantic to some people, the use of spaceships and alien robots was very unneccesary. The worst part of this play had to be the end where both characters joined up with Marty McFly to save the universe. Thumbs down to you sir!Ah, vanity, thy name is Marty McFly.
You can read more Ridiculous Reviews here. If you think you can handle it.