Sunday, July 30, 2006

Eavesdropping With Matt (Episode Eleven)


Dedicated to the tall, skinny man withthe glasses and crazy hair, who was buying books at the Christian Bookstore. Also dedicated to the young woman ringing him up, who clearly was following the orders of the large, uptight manager/owner. Also dedicated to paper bags everywhere.

Customer: That's a lot of books, they're very heavy. It would probably be best to double bag them so they don't rip through the bag.

Employee: We don't do that.

Customer: It's easy, you just take the empty bag and then you--

Employee: We don't do that, though. You just get one bag.

Customer: That's a lot of books, they're heavy, the bag is going to rip. Just put a second bag in there, that's what they do at the grocery store.

Employee: This is not a grocery store.

Customer (clearly irate at this point): I know that. I am just saying that I am buying alot of books, they are heavy and the books--

Manager: What seems to be the problem here?

Customer: I am trying to teach your employee here how to bag up books.

(Pause)

Manager: Sir, we don't double bag.

Customer: Are you trying to lose my business? There are a lot of bookstores in Portland. I can go a lot of other places to buy books.

Manager: That's true, there are a lot of bookstores in Portland. You could go to any of them.

Employee: That will be a hundred and sixty dollars.

Customer (getting his credit card out): *Harumph*

The conversation goes on, but I dont' have the heart to relate it. It's just wrong on so many levels that I can't write more. But I will say this: I really dislike Christian bookstores. And I really love Borders, Powell's, Barnes and Noble, pretty much anywhere where the employees actually like books, there is some semblance of customer service, and where someone buying a hundred and sixty dollars worth of books can have two bags if they want. And where I don't have to know that the cranky, ill-mannered customers, employees and managers profess Christ.