40 Day Fast Day Fifteen: Secret Snacking

I only bought one hamburger I swear!

Once upon a time my daughter Z stole a piece of tres leche cake Krista had made. She hunkered down behind the couch, and when we walked into the room she quickly shoved it under the couch, where I found it a few days later. Needless to say, no one was pleased about our little discovery. 

I have this habit, too. I call it "Secret Snacking." I like to buy "car snacks" and keep them stashed in my car. Just a few tortilla chips or a bag of cookies. Then, when I'm on my way to work, I chow down on a snack that no one knows about and never has to go into my home. Why do I do this? I don't know. Maybe deep down I think I shouldn't be eating those foods.  

Today I noticed myself thinking, "If I ate a little food while I was out at the store no one would know." Which, of course, reveals a heart attitude that is disturbing, because I'm not fasting to show off for other people. The point is not to make people THINK I'm fasting, and thus am a wonderful (crazy?) person. No, in fact, other people shouldn't be my motivation at all. And yet, this one little thought reveals that on some level I'm just like the guys I mentioned a couple days ago... the ones who disfigure their faces to "show off" that they are fasting, to make a big deal out of it. 

We all have mixed motives, I guess. But this is one I'm banishing right now. No secret snacks! If I don't make it the full 40 days, then so be it! I'll say so publicly. But I'm not going to pretend I did something other than what I actually do. 

Meanwhile, napping has become very hard to skip. I feel that much of the day is spent cold and sleepy. Also, strangely, I feel really relaxed. It's like all my stress has melted away, or decided not to talk to me anymore. Could it be the slowness of my bodily function and lowered heart rate right now? Or the fact that I'm taking a nap pretty much every day? I'm not sure, but I certainly feel relaxed and mellow! Even things that should stress me out, I know intellectually they are stressful, but physiologically they aren't having any effect. I feel relaxed and happy.

40 Day Fast Day Fourteen: Memorial Day

Hot dogs and flags: two of the traditional foods of Memorial Day.

Holidays! Food is a big part of our holidays, it reminds us of the time of year, of what we are celebrating, and reminds us of the previous year at the same time. I mean, there's a reason that we only really eat turkey once a year, right? Even though it's GREAT! Food is part of our tradition, our bonding. When someone dies, and the bereaved don't want to eat, we take them food when they are too sad to cook for themselves. We remind them that although their loved one has moved on, that they matter to us and we want their company, we want them in our lives. We take food to the sick, or those who have just had a child. We celebrate holy days and days of remembrance with food. And today, Memorial Day, we celebrate by having a barbecue, and eating outside if we can, and remembering that many of the great things in our lives come from the sacrifice of others. 

Like it or not, fasting isolates you from community, at least for a time. Unless, of course, your community is fasting together. But in many ways you are an outsider at the celebration... fasting in the midst of feasting. Even if you don't traipse off into the wilderness, even if you sit at the table during dinner with your juice next to your empty plate, a fast is a time of disconnection from those around you. It makes you appreciate your friends and family a little more, and look forward not only to eating again, but to celebrating life with them again in a short time to come. Fasting creates hope... hope that there is a future feast that you will be a part of.  As Jesus said, we fast while the bridegroom is gone, looking forward to his return, when we will feast together with him!

40 Day Fast Day Thirteen: Bring Your Own Nothing

It's my party and I'll use my hands if I want to.

I was so cold today. Cold sets in on a fast because of the low blood pressure, but it's hard to explain exactly how cold you feel. Krista is complaining about my cold feet in bed, which is a nice role reversal. I started the day with a scalding hot shower, hoping it would warm me up, then put on my jeans and a long-sleeved shirt and my sweater. It's sort of my fasting uniform.

I had a dream last night that I was in another culture and was offered some food, and it was so rude to say no that I felt released from my fast, and I gladly started eating with the people of that culture. At least it wasn't oyster crackers. Yay.

Tonight we had a party with some friends at our place, and Krista told everyone before the food was on the table that I was fasting. I loudly proclaimed to her that now I would get no reward in Heaven for my fast (this was a joke, people). She pointed out that everyone would have figured it out when we sat down to the meal, but I wonder. People become pretty unobservant once a plate of food is front of them. They're busy tracking where the mashed potatoes are in relationship to their own place, and if you're good at getting up and bringing food over, getting people drinks, things like that, I think your average person wouldn't even notice if you were eating or not. It made me think about people with eating disorders and feel sorry for them that they can sneak around and not eat and people don't notice them for a long time... I have to be better at watching the people around me to make sure they're getting taken care of!

On the "no treasure in heaven" issue... one of the big reasons that people don't typically talk about fasting and things like that is because Jesus made a big deal about how we shouldn't fast to get attention or praise from the people around us. He said to wash your face and prepare for the day and try to look healthy, and not to wander around all day grimacing and clutching your stomach. He said this, of course, because some people were doing just that... making a big deal about how much they were "suffering" when they didn't eat for a few hours. One of the unfortunate side effects of our response to this has been that those who fast are reticent to talk about it, which means that those who are unlikely to fast never hear about it and get an opportunity to try it out. Granted, our motivations as human beings are often mixed, but I think that we can talk about fasting (and tithing and "good works") in a healthy way without doing it primarily for the props from people around us. I mostly feel embarrassed when people find out I'm fasting, which leads me to talk about it in a self-deprecating way or try to shut down the conversation quickly. I'm working on it... I want people to be able to ask me questions if they're thinking about fasting, or share their own experiences.

Now I'm going to go wrap myself up in a blanket and shiver for the next twenty-three days!

40 Day Fast Day Twelve: Processed Vs. Organic Theology

Mmm hot dogs. In a convenient can.

I spent a while working in our garden this morning, which involved a lot of weeding. We wouldn't have so many weeds, but last season I was too tired at the end of the season to put weedblock down over the garden. Basically, I put 20 minutes of work off and let it grow over the fall and winter and spring into several hours of pulling weeds.

Because of all the bending over involved in weeding, I could really feel the effects of fasting on my body. I was getting worn out really easily, and more than that, the bending over and standing up often made me light headed.

It's amazing how quickly the weeds come in. Last season we had them under control, but turn your back for a couple months and they come back, inexplicably more numerous than before (okay, it's technically explicable, but give me some poetic license here, people). We could, of course, buy processed and pre-prepared food from the store and not have to do all this work (and believe me, we often do). But if you want to grow your own food, know where it comes from, and pick fresh peas or tomatoes or peppers from your garden, it's going to require some patience and some hard work.

Reflecting on this today and applying it to spiritual things made me think about how often we take our theology from other people instead of developing our own. In other words, we get all our theology from songs on the radio, from theological books (from well-respected theologians, of course), from our pastor at church, from our trusted mentors, and from television preachers. They're all second-hand sources. We've created a culture of spiritual food in which the easiest way to learn about God is to buy pre-packaged, processed, pre-digested food. We don't have to meditate on Scripture to figure something out, it has all been explained to us. And just like any processed food, making an entire diet of this sort is unhealthy and even dangerous. If we're not looking at the first source of spiritual knowledge, if we're not interacting directly with God, the chances that we'll adopt someone else's misconceptions is not only likely but inevitable.

But developing our own theology is hard work. There's weeding to be done, and planting, and patience and meditation and prayer involved.

All of which leads me to the conclusion that I need to spend a little less time in the grocery store and a bit more in my garden.

How about you? What do you think?

40 Day Fast Day Eleven:Is This the Flu or Only Fasting?

This would be an unwise way to break a fast.

Note: Just a reminder that these posts are from the notes I took while attempting a 40 day fast. It isn't actually Memorial Day this weekend. So don't have a barbecue this weekend, whatever you do. 

This morning I got up early with the baby and decided to make French Toast. I'm enjoying cooking while I'm fasting, because even though I can't enjoy food I want to watch other people enjoying food. Then I headed off to work.

Holidays! This weekend is Memorial Day Weekend. It seems that we have food traditions for practically every little holiday. Smaller holidays have less specific and more varied food traditions. We like to have barbecues on Memorial Day. I spoke to Sarah Atkinson (my editor at Tyndale) today and she said, “My goal for the weekend is to eat pie every day.” Good luck, Sarah!

And now, if you dislike discussing bodily functions, you may want to skip this paragraph. I need a warning similar to *SPOILER*. Maybe something like *POOP IS MENTIONED IN THIS PARAGRAPH*. There's really no way to talk honestly about fasting without mentioning bodily functions. Today I had diarrhea. Why this should be, I have no idea. It hit me today that I might have the flu. I can't TELL if i have the flu, because the usual symptoms... like having an upset stomach... is just how I feel all the time right now. In other words, I realized today that I've essentially felt like I had the flu for about a week... I've been fatigued, and my stomach has felt weird. Just makes you want to run out there and try fasting, doesn't it?

Best sign that I probably don't have the flu: I’m craving: “Indian tacos” from Scenic Café (a Mexican restaurant in China.... go figure). If you don't know what an Indian taco is, it's basically a taco made with a piece of fried bread instead of a tortilla and they're amazing. A terrible way to end a fast, though. But somebody tell that to my stomach!

40 Day Fast Day Ten: Food God

25% done! If I can just do this three more times, I'll be done. That's a nice thought. Krista made me laugh today when she said, "I feel silly saying this to you... but I've been so hungry lately!" I've been cold lately (blood pressure drops during a fast), and tired. Even though I had a full day of sleep last night, I took an hour and a half nap today!

I actually spent a bit more time focused on spiritual things today, too, and found comfort in Jesus' words that we should put down our own burdens and take on his, because his yoke is easy and his burden is light. 

If only these trees were edible!

Something I've been thinking about today is how food is not a necessity anymore for us. It's not something we wonder about having enough of, or even think of as a necessary thing to obtain because we've made an assumption that it will always be there. We open a packed pantry and say "there's nothing to eat." Our stomach growls and we say "I'm starving." We're completely divorced from what it means to be hungry. 

Now we eat as recreation. It's an obsession, it's a commercial product, it's an art form, it's a hobby. We have billboards advertising more food when we already have plenty. We have television shows (television networks) about food.  Because of this world of plenty, we don't see food as a necessity. We have to dress it up to make it interesting. We decorate it and try to find new techniques for it, we process it and modify it and keep enough on hand to stock a 1950s bunker.

This would make excellent communion bread.

It makes me wonder... do we do the same thing to God? Package him up? Do we get too much of him? Are we fat and flabby and sitting around hoarding? Do we have to advertise and innovate him so that we'll pay attention in the midst of too much Jesus? Have we forgotten that he's not just a luxury item or a hobby or a commercial product? Have we forgotten that, more than any of those things... he's a necessity?

40 Day Fast Day Nine: A Dream of Food

I had a dream about eating last night.  A long dream, in which I ate an entire bowl... of oyster crackers. Really, Imagination? That's the best you can do? Nine days of no food and all you can come up with is oyster crackers? Disappointing to say the least.

I woke up convinced I had somehow found some oyster crackers in my sleep and devoured them. I was slightly panicked because, well, that would be the end of my fast and I had this feeling I would need to start over. Also... what? No deep communications from the Lord while I was sleeping? No dreams? No visions? Or could it be that God wants me to eat oyster crackers? I doubt it.

Today Nurse Shasta walked up to me and grabbed the skin on the back of my hand and then let it go, watching my skin like an old woman reading tea leaves. When I asked her what she was doing she told me that you can tell if someone is dehydrated by how quickly their skin bounces back when you pinch it/. I thought that was funny, and I went to tell Krista about it. She laughed and said she already knew, and that she and Nurse Shasta used to do this to each other all the time in college. Nurse Shasta has no memory of this.

I also realized today that I had somehow completely forgotten about adding some sort of spiritual thing into my fast. Sigh. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe soon.

40 Day Fast Day Eight: Losing Track

I'm losing track of the days. Looking over my notes from the last week, I somehow have nine days of notes in eight days. I can tell this is going to be an issue in the future, so I just went through my calendar and marked the ten day marks. Then Krista went through and showed me that I was a day off again. Sigh. I don't know whether to blame fasting or my own sloppy math. Of course, since the net result of my mistake would be a day less of fasting, I have to assume that my stomach is purposely conning my brain somehow. Oh, stomach. I wish I could trust you.

There are a lot of people who talk about fasting as this profound spiritual experience. They say they have heightened spiritual senses and it's like the heavens open up and angels are singing to them all the time while shafts of sunlight beam down from the skies, lighting their every step throughout the day. I don't doubt for a minute that this is true for them, but that is not my experience. In fact, it has never been my experience when fasting.

The first time I did an extended fast, years ago, I went in with the expectation that I would have an amazing spiritual experience. You know, visions and audible voices and insights and maybe getting caught up to the third heaven in-or-out-of-the-body-I-don't-know. But that wasn't my experience. In fact, at the end of my last fast, I remember being angry that I hadn't heard from God. Not just hadn't had a profound experience, but hadn't had an experience at all. What I mean is, I heard from God better before I was fasting than while I was fasting.

I was frustrated and honestly a bit angry. A little monologue was set on repeat in my head that said something like, "Here I am, giving up food for weeks at a time, and do you even speak to me? No. You are silent. Do you realize how much I like food? I'm not sure that you do."

When it was time for the last day of my fast, I set aside a whole day to pray. We were living in Asia, so I set out by myself on my bike and went looking for a quiet place in town. Anyone who had lived in our town at that time could have told you that there wasn't a quiet place there, not during the day. But I had a good day, and a long, one-sided conversation where I talked and God didn't say anything. At the very end of the day I found a big stand of bamboo near a hotel. The clump of bamboo was big enough that I could crawl into it and although I could hear an occasional person walk by, I couldn't see them and they couldn't see me.

There, in the bamboo, I started to have the first vague sense that I could hear God's voice. It had been a month since I had heard him speak, and now there was this sound, but without clear words. It was like listening to someone talk in another room. I honestly felt like he was in a room on the other side of the bamboo. I could feel him near me, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. I leaned toward him and tried hard to hear what he was saying.

At the time, I was frustrated. He could at least have the decency to speak to me clearly after all this work I had put in to try to get more fully in his presence. But all I could hear was a sort of murmuring, the sound of a familiar voice through a wall.

The only thing I heard clearly -- not just that day, but the entire fast -- was a question. It turned out later to be a pretty significant one, though I didn't realize that at that time. The question was whether I was willing to accept writing as part of my ministry. It was something I already did for fun, but the question from God was clearly something more: was I willing to have writing be part of what was expected from me as my service to God? I thought about it... the potential isolating nature of writing being the thing I was most concerned about. Then I said yes, I was willing.

Just like that, I felt I was released to eat again, and that night I took communion with Krista and had a meal.

It wasn't a mind-altering spiritual experience. It was, undoubtedly, significant. But I've had more intense spiritual experiences plenty of times without giving up food. Looking at the scriptural story of Jesus fasting for 40 days, I feel a little better. It's not like he had a great spiritual time bonding with God. He had forty days in the wilderness followed by three temptations from Satan. But it was a time of transition into ministry for him. I guess that's more what my previous experience of fasting has been.

40 Day Fast Day Seven: 7 days without food makes one weak ha ha ha

Hello, day seven. Today I can smell WATER. Even nice, clean water. I could smell my shower. Oh, and if I don’t shower, I smell like pomegranate juice and kiwi gone bad. I smell like an over-ripe mango. I don't know what I'm going to do if my sense of smell keeps sharpening. I might have to get nose plugs.

Someone is going to pay for this mood I am in!

I've been a little irritated today. Could be circumstance, right? If I wasn’t fasting it’d be easy to blame other things. “Oh I didn’t sleep well last night” or “oh I missed breakfast.” But I did sleep well last night and I haven’t had breakfast for a week. So what’s left to blame? Hormones? Astrology? My own character? One of the worst things about a fast is that you realize that those little cracks in your character that you'd like to blame on circumstance are still YOUR CHARACTER. The lack of food isn't to blame for me being a jerk. I'm the only one to blame for that. It's pretty easy to be a nice, wonderful person when you're fat and happy.

I realized today that this fast hasn’t been particularly spiritual. It's not that spiritual things have been lacking, I've still been praying and listening to Bible talks and blah blah blah, but I haven’t really been focusing on spiritual things AS A RESULT OF my fast. I’m filling food times with juice and work instead of reflection or prayer or anything like that. This is an issue that will need some looking into.

Today is the first day when I’ve had that unconscious urge to pop something in my mouth, while holding out oyster crackers for the baby. I don't even like oyster crackers all that much. It's sort of the food you eat at a chowder restaurant when they've forgotten your order.

Also… and I don't know how to say this delicately, but I pooped today. There’s still something in there after eight days? Ew. Since we’re on the subject, don’t wear button fly jeans when you’re fasting. You have to pee a lot, and you're tired, and you're cranky, and it makes for a frustrating combination.

I tried some chicken broth today on the advice of Nurse Shasta (all natural, no sodium, etc). It was horrible. It tasted like someone had juiced a dead chicken and then warmed it up. I could taste it on my tongue. Blech.

Eavesdropping with Matt (Episode Fifty-Three: the "2 second rule" doesn't apply here

Dedicated to the youth attending last night's youth dance and night of pre-pubescent hedonism at Roaring Springs Water Park, particularly the young men who came in while I was changing in the bathroom stall, which allowed me to hear this insightful gem, which made it clear to me at last why I was balancing on my flip flops and trying not to touch anything.

Boy #1: Man, there is water all over the floor.

Boy #2: When there is this much water on the floor, I don't even bother to try to pee in the urinal. I just pee straight on the floor.


Your mothers are so proud. So proud.

40 Day Fast Day Six: Food, You Deserve Our Applause

LATE last night, at the end of our conference, Nurse Shasta and I were sitting around with our friends Wendy, Laura and Kyle (who, since I didn't ask permission to share this story, I will now call "Captain Tito" to protect his identity). We were trying to figure out if there was somewhere we could go to eat and hang out. 

Then Captain Tito told us this story about how he had been driving all day once, and he came to this restaurant he had been thinking about trying that is sort of famous in the SoCal area, so he stopped in and got a plate of the specialty, and the food was SO GOOD that when he finished eating he pushed back from his table, stood to his feet and applauded the food. Not the cook or the restaurant, but his actual food, for a performance well done. 

I’ve had food like that too. And even though the meal was over, I wanted an encore pretty badly. 

Wendy then said, “I’m hungry, are you hungry?” and looked right at me. I was a little confused, thinking she must know that I’m fasting (turns our that she didn’t) and I said, “Yes. I am definitely hungry.” And you know, on plenty of other days I would have said that and meant it, but last night I was able to say it with a sense of deep conviction. I am really, really hungry.

And, YET AGAIN, today was an Airplane day. What is it with airports not having what I want to drink? Smoothies, yes. But all of them have bananas. Blech. I hate bananas. And honestly, even after six days of no food, I still don't want a banana. The only straight juice they sell at places like airports is orange or apple juice. What is that? Why isn’t grape juice more readily available? Grape juice is better. I would buy some grape juice. Any insight out there as to why I can't get grape juice whenever I demand it?

40 Day Fast Day Five: Do you eat a smoothie or drink it?

I'm so hungry I could eat my shoes.

My alarm didn't go off this morning, so I leapt out of bed with only five minutes to get completely ready for church... and of course I'm the one teaching at church!

When you're fasting you want to take showers every day, which thanks to my defective alarm clock, I didn't get to do. There's a couple of reasons for this. One, as the fast goes on, you get increasingly cold. I'm not too cold yet, but I've been wearing a sweater all the time, that's for sure. Two, especially in the earlier days of the fast, your body is dumping toxins out through your skin AND your sense of smell is increasingly sharp. So, basically, I could smell myself all day. I will be honest and say that it is not pleasant. Now, the people around me didn't mention anything (politeness? Or are their noses not as keen as mine is right now?). Regardless, it bothered me from time to time throughout the day.

Teaching at Clayton Community was really great. I knew a lot of people in the congregation... a lot of old friends, my former youth pastor, one of my middle school teachers. It was a good time, and it was fun to sign books afterwards and get to meet some new friends and talk to old ones. Afterward Rick offered to buy me lunch and then got frustrated that I'm not eating and said, "It's really awkward that you're not eating. I keep wanting to say, 'Are you sure you don't want anything?'"

Then I ended up back at the airport, headed back down to the summer project conference in Cali so I can be there to say farewell to our young missionaries and give some feedback on the conference. Which means buying juice here at the airport. I looked around for a bit and then bought some juice. Or rather, I bought a smoothie. On accident. Which led me to the question, "Does drinking a smoothie count as eating something?" I certainly hope not. I guess the five dollar price tag should have clued me in, but it is, after all, an airport.

40 Day Fast Day Four: Ruled by Our Stomachs

I felt a bit dizzy today, which is to be expected on a fast occasionally... your blood pressure drops and if you move too fast you're likely to swoon a bit. But overall I didn't feel too bad today, and I've had plenty of energy. 

I took a quick trip up to the San Francisco Bay Area today to speak at Clayton Community Church tomorrow morning. I got upgraded to First class, which is always nice although since I'm fasting it meant… no snacks! Bummer. I did have apple juice. But no little pack of pretzels and soy nuts for me.

I'm staying with our great friends, Rick and Denise. Rick is a pastor at CCC, and he picked me up at the airport. He was disappointed I'm fasting, because he'd like to treat me to meals while I'm here (of course! And I would love that!), and we had a good conversation about it on the way home from the airport.

Rick mentioned that fasting always makes him think of George Bernard Shaw's Man and Superman, and a comment that the devil makes to Don Juan, that “man is ruled by his stomach.” That's certainly true, it seems to me, as when my stomach starts making noises I immediately start trying to make it happy one way or another, and vast amounts of my day can be spent in service to my stomach... planning meals, buying groceries, making meals, eating meals, thinking about meals, getting snacks, and so on ad nauseum. Sometimes literally ad nauseum!

Rick also said that I shouldn't tell Denise I was fasting, as she would want to talk about it and try to convince him to fast with her, which I thought was quite funny. As it turns out, he mentioned it to her himself and she did, indeed, want to talk about it. She didn't try to convince him to do it, though she said that she feels guilty that she doesn't fast more. These are both pretty common responses, I'm learning... people not wanting to fast at all or people feeling guilty for not fasting (or fasting more). From a purely religious standpoint, it's interesting, as fasting is never proscribed or commanded in the Bible (though there are "mandatory" fasts depending on your denomination (i.e. Lent) or religion (mandatory fasts are common in many religions). But if the Bible is your main guide for deciding what must and must be done, then it's never commanded of you.).

Denise shared that she has fasted, certainly, for sick friends and special prayer requests which prompted someone to say, "I don't believe in hunger strikes." In other words, he doesn't believe that we can "move" God to answer our prayers by refusing to eat. It's interesting, the wide variety of opinions from people on these topics... I can guarantee there are people who strongly believe that you can, indeed, "force God's hand" through fasting, and that many others would say it's purely a way to show God how serious you are about a specific issue, like a sick or dying friend.

How about you? What do you think?

40 Day Fast Day Three: Am I crazy?

Day three brought a sudden preoccupation with math. Things like, "40 minus three equals 37. Which means I am less than 10% done with this fast. In fact, I'm only barely nine percent through this fast." Followed by thinking about the next day and the day after that and how far along I could be soon. Which brought the inevitable question, "Am I crazy? Why am I trying to do this?"

The fact that I am asking myself if a long fast like this is crazy is only complicated by the fact that today is the first day where I've been around anyone other than Nurse Shasta for a meal, which means we come to the awkward "Why I'm not eating" conversation. Fasting isn't completely unheard of in the Christian realm, so most people assume you're fasting "for" something. In other words, they want to know why you're fasting... is it because you're praying for direction in life, or on behalf of world poverty (i.e. praying for God to give food to those in need or something, I guess). I can't help it, I feel awkward when people ask about it, especially because my answer is, "Well, I felt like God wanted me to go on a fast and I don't have a clear reason why." It's not a satisfying answer for them or me. Other people feel awkward, too, so they're not going to keep pushing for more details. Which is fine, but it leaves everyone feeling slightly weird, I think.

"Not only are we gorgeous, but we also get to EAT together."

Part of this, of course, is that even in a highly individualistic culture like our own, meals continue to have a community feel to them, especially at something like this conference we're at. Everyone eats at the same time, at the same place, around tables, and it's natural that you're going to come together and talk and laugh and get to know each other. This is one of the hardest things about fasting for me, the feeling that you are an outsider during community time, so I work hard to be a part of these things. I still sit at the table during community meals, even if I'm just drinking a glass of grape juice. When I get home next week, I'll still be a part of family meals, I'll still cook, I'll still help clean up the dishes, I'll still sit at the table and be a part of the family even though there's an empty plate in front of me.

There's a reason, I suppose, that Jesus went into the wilderness for his forty days without food. 

I think I mentioned this the first day, but the prevalence of food is pretty overwhelming when you're not eating. The billboards alone are these lovingly rendered pictures of juicy, alluring food. At one point I caught myself thinking, "mmmmm food porn." Advertising loves to show food that is absolutely beyond fantasy. It could make you hungry after you just gorged yourself, and it sure is making me hungry now.

One last weird note... tonight I found some popcorn in my teeth. What?! How can this be? It's been three days since I ate ANYTHING and I don't even know how long since I ate popcorn. And I don't think I want to know....

20 Things To Do When Your Two Year Old Burns Her Fingers On The Kitchen Stove

This week my two year old "helped" me make some fried rice, which largely consisted of me making sure she didn't touch anything that could burn her. Just as the dish was finished, I moved the pan off the burner and reached down to move her, just as she set her finger tips on the burner. I thought you might like this helpful guide of things you should do after your kid burns her fingers while under your care. This isn't a medical guide, by the way. If this is an emergency, you should call 911.

1. Shout NO! and snatch her hand away from the stove.

2. Hold her fingers under cold, running water.

3. Look at the tiny blisters on her tiny fingers.

4. Feel like a lousy parent.

5. Put your kid in a cold bath so she'll put her fingers in the water for a little longer.

6. Hold her while she cries over and over that it hurts.

7. Race to the internet to be assured that this is a mild, first degree burn.

8. Run to the store and buy some burn spray ointment.

9. Spray it on your own hand to show her that it doesn't hurt.

10. Spray it on her fingers and feel relieved when she stops crying.

11. Try to convince her to put the Hello Kitty Band-Aids on by letting her put as many of them as she would like on your feet, arms and legs.

12. Eventually give up on getting Band-Aids on her.

13. Eat a grape, forgetting that your hand has burn spray ointment stuff on it.

14. Feel your lips, tongue and palate go numb.

15. Worry that you poisoned yourself.

16. Rinse your mouth in the sink for a long time.

17. Be amazed that your daughter appears to be fine the rest of the day.

18. Wonder again if you are a bad parent.

19. Realize while you are out at the store that you still have pink Hello Kitty Band-Aids on your feet.

20. Write a blog post about it.

40 Day Fast: Day Two!

Here we are, day two of the fast done and gone. 

I'm traveling this week with my good friend, Nurse Shasta. We're in southern California for a training for people headed overseas on summer missions trips. We're helping coach the leaders and hanging out with the teams. I'm sure it will be a lot of fun.

Yesterday when we arrived here, Shasta made sure to take me out to the grocery to buy lots of juice for our week. She also pulled me aside at one point today to say, "I'm going to have a talk with you." She's worried I'm not going to take my health seriously during this fast, and she's concerned that I'll harm myself in some way. The hospital was mentioned. Ha ha. I have no plans of going to the hospital, that's for sure!

Trust me, you're going to want to shake the juice before you drink it.

I will say that Nurse Shasta has been really understanding about the fast... picking up the slack when I'm too tired to do everything I should be here at the training, and encouraging me to rest, take it easy, and drink lots of juice. The only place where she really crossed the line today was picking up one of my juice cans and popping the top before I had a chance to shake it! That's disgusting, because there is some sludge at the bottom of the can then.

I also had this moment today where I thought, maybe people would be interested in knowing about a 40 day fast, and what the experience is like for someone. Then I thought, this could be a book. I could call it “HUNGRY.” I thought some more about it and thought, This is an amazing idea. Then I thought harder and longer about it and wondered, "Is it possible that hunger is making me delirious?" 

Wonderful Wednesday: They Are In Love!

Awww! I randomly came across these two loving fingers on an internet search last night. You can tell they really love each other. The boy finger is so happy and surprised that little Pinky loves him. Look at his face... like Charlie Brown finally getting a Valentine for the first time. He's surprised and amazed that such a love exists in this world, and more than that, that it exists for him!

What you can't see, of course, is the face of the surly middle finger who is bitter and angry that he is not loved by Pinky or really anyone. He is angry at the world and is just waiting for an excuse to stand up and say something offensive.

But those two fingers in love are just so cute!

40 Day Fast: Day One!

The first day of a fast, whether it's a long one or a short one, can be the worst. It is for me. I mean, an hour into the fast I was regretting not eating more grapes earlier in the day, because I had just bought them the day before and they were sweet and good. I wasn't hungry as such... my stomach wasn't growling, I just wanted more grapes.

In fact, despite the mental desire for food, I didn't get hungry (i.e. my stomach didn't growl) for a full sixteen hours after I stopped eating. Which was last night at 6, so that means the first time my stomach got around to complaining was ten in the morning. Not bad, actually.

I do notice, of course, that I have this habit of reaching for food. And yes, I was traveling today, so when the flight attendant asks if I want a little bag of awful soy crackers and stale pretzels, of course I say yes. I paid a lot for my plane ticket and I'm going to eat the "free" soy nuts and croutons even if I would never, ever touch them anywhere but on a plane. So I ended up with a couple of packs of those despite the fact that I'm fasting.

And food, of course, is everywhere. It's on billboards as we drive by, there are commercials on the radio and television and internet, and you could throw a rock from any corner in America and hit a restaurant. It's ubiquitous, it's omnipresent, and it's confident that you need it. 

By the end of the day, my body is exhausted. There was this moment where I literally thought about laying my head down on a stranger's shoulder. It seemed that it would be relaxing and I felt certain that the stranger wouldn't mind. My teeth felt fuzzy. My head hurt, my muscles were sore, and talking made my jaw feel like I'd been chewing rocks. I got an arm cramp from lifting my backpack. It's like every muscle in my body was telling me to lay down and/or eat something. 

I bet this cat would taste good, too.

And when I brushed my teeth I realized how great toothpaste tastes. Mmmmmmm, toothpaste. I would gladly eat ANYTHING and it made me realize that my pickiness about food is simply a symptom of living in a culture where I have tons of food and a gigantic amount of choices. 

My overwhelming thought of the day, when I think about the 39 days ahead of me is, "What have I done?" Especially because this week I will be in California... and there is excellent Mexican food everywhere! Sigh. But it must be done. 39 days to go.

Ridiculous Reviewers On Amazon: One Star Review for Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet

Spoiler: the grand finale involves harpoons.

Romeo and Juliet is a work that is well known and well regarded throughout the world. It has been copied, performed, translated, transformed and ripped off in multiple media, genres and with varying degrees of success. Shakespeare himself took the story of two star-crossed lovers fated for unhappiness from an earlier Italian story. He had no idea, of course, that his version of the story would become one of the most famous literary works of all time, spawning ballets and more plays and movies and paintings and musical scores. And when you think that this play was written 417 years ago, its staying power and continued relevance is nothing short of remarkable. In addition to strange things like this year's Gnomeo and Juliet or the unspeakable abomination that I have included in photograph form on the right side of this post, most every American high schooler is going to be exposed to this play in freshman English. My ten year old can already quote large pieces of the balcony scene. Like it or not, Romeo and Juliet continues to be part of the Western zeitgeist, even 400 years after it was written.

Of course, that won't keep our ridiculous reviewer friends on Amazon from panning it and giving it the lowest possible rating, putting this work of art on a lower shelf than, say, The Care Bears Movie or an 80s glam rock album.

Here come some of my favorite one star reviews:

Number one from Son of Sammy, clearly a kid forced to do reviews for her English class:

i just read this book. everybody like always talks about how great it is and everything. but i don't think so. like, it's been done before, right?? soooo cliched. omg. 

She would also like you to know that "the movie was better." Ha ha ha. By the way, a common theme of the negative reviews is that the play is "cliched." Because they've seen this story before. You know, when all these other works were COPYING ROMEO AND JULIET. Sorry, people, it's not cliche if it's the original.

Kelsey says, "It isn't even in English! Fail!" And lest you think that high school kids being forced to write reviews for extra credit are the only critics, observe this classic bit of pomposity from an adult named Jimmy Lin:

Plain and simple - Shakespeare sold out.

*R&J* is simply sensationalist trash. It contains a good portion of Shakespeares worst verse and insipid characterizations. It's unchallenging, crude, and simply melodrama for the most part. It's the Shakespearean equivalent of "Party of Five" and the Spice Girls.
( ...)

And forget Shakespeare. There are other fine Elizabethan writers who have been forced to exist in the "Bard's" shadow. Had Marlowe lived, we wouldn't have even known about Shakespeare. And Donne finally been recognized for the genius that he is.

Ah, a bitter Christopher Marlowe fan. "Marlowe's imaginary, unwritten works are better than Shakespeare's actual ones!" Touche, sir, touche.

Musette Wright shares some questions that concerned her enough to make Romeo and Juliet a one-star experience:

*How did this feud really begin?
*Why can't this story end in happily ever after?
*Why does Lady Capulet have to be so stuck up on everybody?
*Why couldn't Shakespeare have written in a language we could all understand?
*Why does everybody have to jump to conclusions?

And lastly, in the "Teacher, don't grade me down just because I am using a lot of drugs" category, we have a review from "Bruce Banner" who says:

This was by far the worst science fiction novel I have ever watched. While the story of two lovers may seem romantic to some people, the use of spaceships and alien robots was very unneccesary. The worst part of this play had to be the end where both characters joined up with Marty McFly to save the universe. Thumbs down to you sir!

Ah, vanity, thy name is Marty McFly.

You can read more Ridiculous Reviews here. If you think you can handle it.

40 Day Fast: some excellent reasons not to fast

Tomorrow we'll start a series here at BHR about my experience in trying to do a 40 day fast.

After six hamburgers he decided to fast until morning.

One thing I noticed during my fast was that a lot of people feel guilty about fasting. That is, when they heard I was on a fast, they would look down at their shoes and say, "I should do that." Then they would try to think of some excuses as to why they aren't able to fast.

So I thought I would kick things off with a post full of reasons that you shouldn't fast.

One of them would include: food is good and good for you.

Listen, there's nothing that says that you should or must fast. There are people out there who will tell you that you are more spiritual if you fast, or that it's the greatest experience ever, but that's simply not true. It CAN be a tool for spiritual discipline, but it can just as easily be an exercise in pride. It CAN be a physical help in certain situations, but it can just as easily be dangerous or even fatal, especially for people with certain medical conditions.

So, let's just get this out of the way up front. Here's a list of people who really should not be fasting from food for any appreciable length of time (i.e. their longest fast should probably be while they are sleeping at night):

People with eating disorders or a history of eating disorders.
Very thin or emaciated people.
People with certain medical conditions (i.e. diabetes, hypoglycemia, anemia, bleeding tumors, heart disease, chronic organ issues, etc.).
Women who are pregnant or nursing.

There are many chemical and physiological changes during a long fast that can have long term ill effects, and it would be wise to talk to a medical professional if this is something you are considering.

Also... FASTING IS A TERRIBLE WEIGHT LOSS PLAN. Although you lose weight quickly, after the fast your body will do everything it can to put that weight back on. Your metabolism will slow considerably and every time you eat a dry crust of bread your body will do its best to turn that into a jiggly, storable, bread-shaped piece of fat to slap onto your thighs. I mean it. Eating right and exercising is a much better plan.

Anyway, if fasting (as a spiritual exercise) is something you are considering for any length of time, particularly if you are inexperienced in this, here's a helpful set of articles that can help you think that through and prepare for it.

40 Day Fast: Why would you do that?

Starting on the 5th, I'll be running a daily series here chronicling my attempt to do a 40 day fast. There are two major questions people tend to have when they hear something like this. The first question, edited to remove heartfelt and prodigious cursing, tends to be, "What is wrong with you?" and the second, asked with similar passion and deeper, more intense curiousity is, "Why?" This second question is occasionally followed by a swoon in which the person leans against a doorframe and says again, more quietly, "For the love of all that is good in life, why? Why would you do this thing?"

"And now, sweet apple, you begin a most fascinating journey."

Since the question "What is wrong with you?" could easily lead to a 40 part series here at BHR at another time, I'll simply address the second question:

WHY?

People fast for a lot of reasons. Every major world religion includes fasting (often mandatory for adherents) as part of their ritual practice. I don't know of a culture that doesn't embrace fasting as a normal, even laudable practice in the correct context. This might be in a purely natural context (for instance, refusing food during periods of mourning), or part of the calendar year (like Lent or Yom Kippur or Ramadan or Maha Shivaratri). It has been used as a protest tool, perhaps most famously by people like Ghandhi and Cesar Chavez. Some people fast for health reasons, and believe me, you can find quacks who will tell you that fasting is good for everything from "cleansing your body" to "healing your cancer." No, I am not kidding.

Among Christians there is a wide variety of opinions about fasting, ranging from people who think it's a good tool for figuring out a direction in life, that it provides an altered (heightened) spiritual state, or even that it's a sort of bargaining chip that makes God more likely to answer your prayers.

None of which answers why I, personally, would embark on a fast, let alone a 40 day fast.

So, here's my "why." It's not a particularly compelling or interesting one. Basically, a few weeks before I started fasting, I felt during my prayer times that God was asking me to do a prolonged fast. No details, no "theme" or topic I should be praying about, really no compelling reason at all, just that it was something I should do. I shrugged it off and ignored it. Multiple times. Until one weekend, when I was preaching at a local church about following Jesus, and suddenly that little communication from God became more insistent. It reached that level where I had to admit that (1) God expected this of me and (2) it wasn't going away. So I made plans to start my fast that week.

I should mention here that I've already finished my fast. The 40 days here on the blog will be my notes from the time, not in "real time."

One other "why"... I'm assuming some of you are wondering why I would publicly talk about this. There are plenty of people who fast, wanting to keep it a secret. Well, first of all, you can't really fast for 40 days and remain in society AND keep it a secret. So honestly, anyone who interacts with me here in town on a regular basis already knows. Secondly, when I was researching fasting I found a lot of books about the theology of fasting, or the health benefits of fasting, or the history of fasting. What I didn't see much of was the individual experience of fasting. I thought there are probably people out there who are thinking about giving it a shot, or who are simply curious about what it's like (and have no intention of ever doing it). I thought it could be a helpful series for someone.

So, starting on Tuesday there'll be a post every day in the early evening about fasting. I'll try to keep up some of the regular posts as well, so there will be a bit of a mix. Feel free to ask questions or leave comments, I'd like to make sure the series is useful and interesting to you.

And now I will fast from posting on my blog for at least 12 hours. Ha ha ha.

News from Our Neighborhood: SUPER MOUSE!

Well, there's been news aplenty from our neighborhood, but the sheer volume has made it nigh impossible to keep it updated.

One small tidbit from Our Very Own Garage.

Recently, there have been tiny sounds of munchings and crunchings around our house. As well as scurryings and hurryings. Suspecting MICE to be responsible (for I am naturally suspicious of mice), I have been mentally gearing up for figuring out how to put mouse traps about the house without accidentally capturing my two year old.

Today I walked out to the garage to put a box of crackers on the shelf, when I heard one of the aforementioned scurryings. I looked over to the shelf (which comes to about my shoulder) and saw a tiny furred body propel itself from the shelf as from a diving board, leaping a full two feet out from the shelf, landing on the ground and then making a great deal of haste to scurry across the floor and under the freezer. I stood in slack-jawed amazement at this prodigious rodent feat of aerial deviltry.

What could give a mouse such a gigantic store of energy? What could cause it to fly much like a rocket, and speed across the floor like a miniature NASCAR in a fur robe?

Excellent questions that were soon answered when I investigated the pantry shelf to see what the little thief had been eating.

One thing is certain: the mouse prefers strawberry flavor.

It appears that I will need to build a mousetrap that uses a remote control car as the base, so that it can catch up to this speedy mouse. And should I use sugar wafers as the bait? I GUESS WE SHALL SOON SEE, MY FURRY LITTLE NEMESIS!

Updates are sure to follow.

Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol trailer just came out....

Movie Review: The Great Match

This weekend we watched The Great Match, a really enjoyable and funny "global comedy" about three diverse groups of people trying to find a way to watch the 2002 World Cup, despite the fact that they live in remote sections of the earth. The story follows a family of Mongolian nomads, a tribe of Amazonian Indios, and a caravan of Tuareg in the Sahara desert, all trying to find a way to get a signal to their televisions that will allow them to watch the big game.

The movie was gentle, funny, moving, and ultimately a reminder of how much diversity there is in the human experience, as well as how much we have in common. And it was really fun to watch, and made me laugh out loud multiple times. I highly recommend it.

Imaginary Jesus in Santa Cruz!

The first summer mission trip I ever went on was to Santa Cruz, Califonia, on the Santa Cruz summer project. This summer they set out this sign by their motel and gave away copies of Imaginary Jesus to people as they walked down to the beach. They said that they've given hundreds of copies away! That's pretty cool!

Things I've Been Thinking About This Week

English stage magician turned Nazi fighter, Jasper Maskelyne.

Nazi motorcycle, the 1942 BMW R75.

Pangaea.

Cowboy slang.

Wondering how long it will be before I'm forced by someone to use the term "ground truth" to refer to "field research." I heard someone on the radio this week saying she had been "ground truthing" the political situation in Portland. Blech.

Submitting comic book ideas to Dark Horse Comics.

Wonderful Wednesday: Art by Jasinski

Parlor Tricks for the Rabble by Jasinski

My friend Alan sent me this picture last week, which led to exploring Jasinski's website, where you can see paintings that mix pop culture, music, science fiction and classic movie stars. They're a lot of fun and you should check them out.

Ridiculous Reviewers On Amazon: One Star Review for Green Eggs and Ham

If you've been a kid, chances are good that you've read Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss. If you have a kid, you may have the entire book memorized. I think we all know what it's about... a ridiculous story of a guy who won't try green eggs and ham, who is mercilessly harassed by another guy to try them until he does and (SPOILER) he likes them. It's funny, surreal, ridiculous and entertaining.

But of course that won't stop some cranky Amazon reviewer from hating it and giving it a one star review. Here are my two favorites:

Numero Uno, from "A Kid" has this to say:

I dont like Dr.Suess books because they bore the heack out of me. The illistrations were lame,but after a while of constantly staring at them in discust, they were just really funny. Because they were funny,I gave them 2 stars.

Looks like somebody needs to read more Dr. Seuss books to learn how to spell. A counting book may also be in order, since he said he gave it two stars but actually only gave it one.


And, secondly, a classic review from A Customer, who titled his review, "An asinine, boring book."

This book is SOOOOOOOO annoying! What's the deal with all the rhyming? That got on my last nerve. I can't believe this book is a children's "classic". This book does for childrens' books what Jim Jones did for children's drinks (kool-aid, that is). If you want a GREAT children's book, try "Atlas Shrugged" the pop-up book by Ayn Rand.

Okay... the book is annoying, it rhymes and is boring. Hmmm. Then he compares it to deadly Kool Aid. Then he says that everyone should read a pop-up book of Ayn Rand's Objectivist screed, "Atlas Shrugged." I couldn't believe that such a book exists, so I looked it up and... as near as I can tell it doesn't exist. I suppose it's a joke. But from what I hear, if you want to be bored and annoyed you could look up the first part of the movie adaptation of Atlas Shrugged.

Weird Links!!!

A good friend sent me a lot of weird links this weekend, and now you must also share them with other people or you will be doomed to some horrible fate.

First, a Jewish rabbinical court has sentenced a dog to stoning... because they believe it to be the reincarnated form of a lawyer who once insulted them.

Second, a fawn carcass is found dangling from an electrical power line in Missoula, Montana. With pictures!

Third, New York City hates geese enough to cook them and send them to the poor, poor people of Pennsylvania. Because there aren't any poor people in NYC!

And lastly, Chinese genetically engineered dairy cows are now able to provide human breast milk! Question: will cows still be allowed to nurse in public? They will here in Portland!

Ridiculous Reviewers On Amazon: One Star Review for Dostoevsky's The Brothers Karamazov

The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky is the story of three brothers, their much hated father, a murder, a love triangle, God, free will, human suffering, and what it means to be a good person. It's entertaining, funny, moving and I would honestly say it's one of the greatest novels I've ever read. And I'm not alone... a long history of authors, artists and thinkers love this book. They don't care that it's Russian or that, at its heart, it's a Christian novel. It transcends the boxes people try to put it in, because it deals with universal themes.

Which, of course, means that it's time for another RIDICULOUS ONE STAR REVIEW FROM AMAZON!

Number one comes from our ever popular "A Customer"... a common name used by people writing one star reviews. Here's what he has to say:

If you are interested in reading a book with a plot, or something resembling a plot, you're in the wrong place. Classic or no, I couldn't care less about the characters and never finished the book. It was a waste of valuable reading hours.

 No, no, no. Even if you hate the book, you need to acknowledge that it has a plot. Like the next one star reviewer, also calling himself "A Customer" who used this provocative title for his review: "All about sex and violence and drunkeness, really boring."

Ha ha ha. Sex, violence, drunkeness. SUPER BORING!

And his review:

This book is all about some badly behaved brothers and their mean father and how they do nothing but shout and drink and threaten one another and are lewd and then, one of them anyway, goes to England, or at least he wants to. You call that a story?

Why, yes, yes I do call that a story. Also you left out the murder. And the love triangle. And the poor sick little boy.

Ahhhhh, Ridiculous One Star Reviewers, how you entertain us.

You can read more One Star Reviews here.

Wonderful Wednesday: Lion Trying To Eat a Baby, Parents Laugh and Take Photos

Here's the video:



Apparently there's a whole genre based around large cats attacking kids through glass at the zoo. Which seems so ha-ha funny until the lions get out during some post-apocalyptic future and your kids think they are invulnerable to tigers or something.

When we lived in Asia, I had Z in one of those baby backpacks and we went to the local zoo, where the lion was held back from the visitors by a chain link fence. One day the lion looked right at Z and started roaring and then got into "pounce position." I didn't stick around to take pictures. We rapidly headed over to visit the monkeys.

I just couldn't help myself, I had to do it

Last week I saw a guy wearing this t-shirt that said, "SARCASM: The body's natural defense against stupidity."

I walked up to him and said, with all hte sarcasm I could muster, "Nice shirt."

I don't think he got it.

LINKS! The Sausage of the Internet

Hello, minions! I trust you have been busily doing something important during my brief blogging vacation.

Here are some things destined to make your week more lovely and enjoyable and to make the summer sunshine pierce straight through to your wizened little winter hearts:

1) I recently spoke at Clayton Community Church, which was a lot of fun. Many people I've known since I was a kid attend there, so it was like being at home! The pastors have decided to dedicate this summer to an "Imaginary Jesus" summer sermon series. You can hear my talk as well as the ones by ACTUAL PASTORS here.

2) My dear friend and literary agent Wes Yoder recently appeared on the Family Life radio program talking about his new book, Bond of Brothers. Here's the first part of the program. You can listen to the second part of the show here.

3) Meanwhile, I know that some of you have been wondering what you should do with all that spam you get. This guy had a good answer... pretend to be a comic book character and then write the spammer back.

Just because it's been quiet around here doesn't mean I haven't been thinking of you

Green Lantern is getting dissed by my daughter

There was an advertisement on t.v. last night for the new Green Lantern movie.

My eight year old, A, was sitting beside me on the couch and I said, "I'm going to go see this movie."

A: What is it called?

Me: Green Lantern.

A: ha ha ha. No, really, Dad, what is it called?

Me: Green Lantern. It's another super hero movie.

A: Why is it called that?

Me: He has a green ring that has all this power.

A: That's a dumb name. It should be called Green Ring then.

Me: Yeah, but the ring is powered by a green lantern.


She looked at me skeptically.

A: Ah. That's still a dumb name.

Krista: It was made up a long time ago.

Credit where credit is due

The movie industry is a big believer in giving credit for everyone who does everything to make a product. Whether it's caterers or animal wranglers or the guy who takes out the trash on the studio lot, they want to make sure we get a chance to see each person's name climbing up the screen at the end of a movie.

The publishing industry is completely different. It's a largely invisible part of the current debate about whether to use professional publishing or self publishing. In fact, for a book like Imaginary Jesus or Night of the Living Dead Christian, there are at least twenty people involved in getting the book put together (that's not including, for instance, the sales staff). That's publishers, editors, designers, artists, marketers, product managers, typesetters and so on. Not to give the illusion that they're all working on the book forty hours a week or something, but the fact is that they touch the book... they have something to do with its quality. Making a book through traditional publishing is very much a team sport, and a good team can make the difference between a good experience for the author and a great project or a terrible experience and lousy product.

As it turns out, I have an excellent team. I really like them. I had talked with my editorial team about doing a Credits page for NLDC. I wanted to get all those names out there into the public, so people could see who worked on the book. Unfortunately, I got the word today that there's not room in the book for the credits page. I am really disappointed. We'll put a credits page or list online at some point, but for now, Publishing has bested me once again. I don't know who is responsible, but believe me, when I figure it out, you'll see their name in the credits as "PERSON WHO TRIED TO DELETE THE CREDITS."

Wonderful Wednesday: Ligers cubs with their adopted mom

Ligers! Until last night I didn't know they were real!

And then I was sent a link to this story, about a dog nursing two liger cubs abandoned by momma tiger.

And, in other news, SPACE ARCHAEOLOGY!

Wonderful Wednesday: GREEN WITH ENVY the movie

I will go see this movie. I love the Muppets. Two favorite Muppet movies are the original movie and The Muppets Take Manhattan.

In the original Muppet Movie there were moments of hilarity and also sweet, loving, emotional moments like this one:



And that is all for today. Get back to work you bums.