Saturday, May 27, 2006
Example 4: In Which the Bad Guy Is Brutally Murdered and the Happy Ending Comes to Visit
Chin: At last, Evil Bad Guy, I have you trapped! You are, for some reason, precariously balanced on a unicycle on the top of this skyscraper. I, also, am on a unicycle. I cannot use my rocket launcher for fear that the backblow will send me hurtling over the side of this building.
Bad Guy: Ah, but you have forgotten that I have this radio-remote controlled aeroplane which I shall command to come and blow you to pieces!
Chin: Never! Because I must avenge poor Plucky's death!
Bad Guy: Aaaaa ha aha h ha haaaaaa! My aeroplane is racing for your back!
Chin: But I will do... THIS!
(Chin does a triple flip off of his unicycle, catches the seat and uses the wheel to snag onto the roof of the skyscraper. He is hanging over the abyss. The aeroplane soars past him and brushes near Bad Guy... who loses his balance and struggles to stay on his unicycle. BUT HE CAN'T! And he falls off of the building and lands right in the middle of the street 90 stories below.)
Chin (without laughing): Hit the road, Jack.
(A semi runs over Bad Guy)
Chin: And don't you come back no more!
Chin limps to where Young Ingenue is waiting for him. They both have ashes artfully on their faces. Chin's shirt is ripped. They have some small cuts. They kiss, relieved that it is all over.
Ingenue: Chin, I found this duffle bag over here that I think belonged to Evil Bad Guy.
Chin: CAREFUL! IT MIGHT BE A BOMB!
Chin opens the bag. He drops it in suprise. A red chicken flaps out.
Chin hugs the chicken. Ingenue hugs Chin. The chicken hugs the brother who lives at the orphanage. Everyone turns and smiles at the camera. The little brother grabs the rocket launcher and shoots it into the sky, where the rocket explodes like fireworks!
Everyone: Ha ha ha ha!
Ingenue: You're just like your brother!
Chin (ruffling the boy's hair): He sure is! Let's go get some fried chicken to celebrate!
Chin: Stop talking! Don't you know I get the last word?
Ingenue: You do?
Chin: Of course! Shhh!
Chin: Be quiet and smile at the camera so they can fade out!
They smile at the camera and it fades out.