Saturday, May 27, 2006

Example 2: The Girlfriend Overcomes Adversity

Big Chin rushes to the orphanage only to discover that... his girlfriend Young Ingenue has been kidnapped by two Thugs. They have tied her up, gagged her and made fun of her hair and make up.

Chin (whispering from under the chair she has been tied up in): Don't worry, honey. I'm going to save you. You're going to be fine. Do you trust me?

Ingenue: Mmm mmm mmm mm.

Chin: I'll be right back.

The power goes out. Chin beats up one of the bad guys because he has managed to make his own infra-red goggles using some Happy Meal toys left lying around the orphanage. He unties Ingenue and they kiss long and hard.

SUDDENLY A SECOND THUG SHOWS UP AND BOPS CHIN IN THE HEAD!

Ingenue manages to overpower the thug--even though she has been tied up and gagged for hours-- and in the struggle gets the thug's gun and shoots him in the head. Blood spurts everywhere.

Chin (holding the bump on the back of his head): Darling! Your first time ever killing a human being.

Ingenue: It's true.

Chin: How do you feel?

Ingenue: A little weepy. But mostly just proud to be able to defend you... and myself. By killing!

Chin: Do you think you might have nightmares tomorrow when we go on our honeymoon? You know, bad dreams about being tied up and tortured and you know, killing a guy?

Ingenue: I don't think so.

Chin: Good! Because that would be a bummer.

Ingenue: I love you.

Chin: Yes, you sure do.

Ingenue: Let's kiss some more!

Chin: I guess.