Tuesday, October 21, 2008

You know, sometimes it really stretches credulity to continue to call these things "reality" shows

Bishop Thomas W. Weeks the third recently announced he's in negotiations for his own reality show. If you need a good laugh (or a good cry) be sure to click through to read the article.

Weeks is a twice-divorced church leader in Atlanta. He was last in the news for beating his most recent wife in a parking lot last August (07). His new show will be about him looking for his third wife.

During the show he'll be leading his international ministry and doling out relationship advice. His divorce lawyer will come on the show to give him relationship advice.

Which brings us to the Burning Hearts Revolution's Top Ten Rules for Relationship Advice and Reality Show Programming:

10. Don't marry a guy who beat up his last wife a mere 14 months ago.

9. Don't take relationship advice from a guy who doesn't have any successful relationships.

8. If you do choose to take relationship advice from a guy who doesn't have any successful relationships, you should always take his Opposite Advice. So when he says, "You have to think of your own needs" you can say, "That means... I should think of my wife's needs."

7. Don't take relationship advice from someone who makes a living off of the legalities of ending a relationship. Yes, I'm talking about divorce lawyers.

6. Unless your divorce lawyers has been married for thirty years and really wants to try to make things in marriages work out and he's become a divorce lawyer as a sort of last chance to save people's marriages.

5. If you want to star in a reality show, make sure your life is out of control, weird tabloid-fodder.

4. If your pastor who founded your church is always pulling funny little stunts like beating his wife, divorcing her, saying he is sad and lonely, saying he is healing and then decides he would like to go find a new wife--on a nationally televised reality show--you should give that guy a sabbatical. Just kidding. Fire him. Fire him now.

3. The devil did not make him do it.

2. And it sure wasn't Jesus who made him do it.

1. If your life does go all crazy, be sure to let the media outlets know so at least you get some publicity.