Thursday, July 12, 2007

A conversation with myself concerning bikinis

Today we took the kids to a water park as part of our journey to Colorado (see above). I found myself having a long conversation with myself about bikinis because of the scantily clad young women. Here is how it went:

Matt A: God forbid that my daughters will ever dress like these women.

Matt B: Oh, lighten up.

Matt A: I mean it, my kids will not be wearing these skimpy bikinis. They can wear nice one piece swimsuits.

Matt B: You know that these kids are mindless lemmings that just wear what the stores carry and the corporate shills tell them to wear. The only other option is to wear unattractive, out of style bathing suits. Do you want your kids to be the lame kids who dress funny because their Daddy makes them?

Matt A: Yes. I think I would like that.

Matt B: Your kids will hate you.

Matt A: So long as they are fully clothed they can hate me all they want.

Matt B: There are some positive things if your kids wear bikinis.

Matt A: Such as?

Matt B: You would almost certainly know if one of them gets a tatoo.

Matt A: Okay, I will grant you that point. But my declaration of the will still stands: NO BIKINIS FOR MY CHILDREN!

Matt B: I will fight you on this. You will scar your children emotionally . I will take over our personage and allow our sweet daughters to dress as they please.

Matt A: Oh, shut up. You haven't got the guts. Listen to you. "You will scar the children." You're soft and weak. You could never take me out. I rule with an iron fist... an iron fist of JUSTICE! Ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaa!

Matt B: I am afraid of you.

Matt A: Good. Now go get me a drink of water.


  1. I saw this article somewhere the other day about Muslim girls in England wanting to swim and that a "Burkini" has been made that literally covers everything from head to toe except the face. Maybe you can try one of those. Thankfully, in India, girls just wear their regular clothes to swim.

  2. I know a good therapist.

  3. That is a funny convo you had with yourself but it defiantely is something that will come up. Being at the masters college and even at northcreek high school and college events it is and issue that is there. Just wondering if you have landed firmly on a decision and why or is kinda of situationaly or punt using the verse the secret things of God hahaha joke.

  4. As a mother of two boys, I thank you for simply having the conversation. I do believe that men are responsible for their own thought lives, but I also believe that women have a responsibility to ensure that we are presenting ourselves in a way that would not cause a man to have unpure thoughts (although there are men out there who would tell a woman wearing a paper sack that she made him know what I mean)

  5. Anonymous8:00 AM

    i'm fairly confident that the "tankini" was invented by a father much like yourself, after having a similar conversation with himself.