Long-time readers of the Burning Hearts Revolution will recall last fall's epic contest to name poets laureate for every state of the Union which lacked them.
An anonymous poet left a message today on a completely unrelated post reminding me that I had not done right by our beleagured poets in that I had not provided several things promised to them: 1) I had not sent the winning poets the official certificate of Poet-Laureateness, 2) It appeared that certain poets had not had their work posted and 3) they suspected I had not sent letters of commendation to the governors of their states.
And all these things were true.
I have, as they rightly pointed out, done them a great service in many ways by my gross negligence. One, I have given them a treasure trove of bitterness and hatred to nurse into wonderful poems. Perhaps they will go on to achieve fame because of this. Also, I have taught them the valuable lesson that poets should expect to live in cold doorways between buildings during freezing winters, hands trembling as they write their celestial lines upon crumpled bits of newspaper. Such is the glorious life of the poet.
In any case, spurred to action by the no-doubt unmedicated rage of my poets, I have finished all of the awards tonight, and have posted the last of the poems I received permission to post (some winners never got back to me).
The awards need only to be placed in the mail now, which I would say will happen tomorrow but such a dire task could take as long as a week. I have even signed the documents in question and a dear friend of the Poets Laureate movement agreed to sign as a witness. I think you will be pleased to see this special friend's signature!
In any case, my obligation to you as poets will be done at that point and I can move on to a more thankless task than this noble undertaking. I understand your ill will, dear poets, and can only ask that you leave your vicious ventings in the comments section, preferably in verse and without cursing or anonymity.
In the meantime, please enjoy all our poets laureate. Long may they reign in verbose glory.
For those of you who missed all the fun earlier, here are the winners, their bios and poems:
Arizona: Michelle Lawrence Down Reflection
Massachusetts: Eva Ting Open Casket
Missouri: Rob E You Must Be Misstaken
New Jersey: Jill James Puberty
New Mexico: Kasey Martin Spun
Ohio: T.M. Baird The Flock
Pennsylvania: Adam Struble What Crazed Eyes Have Already Seen
Washington: Alexis Youngs I Used to Love My State of Origin But Now I Have My Doubts