3 Important lessons from "King Kong"

I saw Kong last night. Not bad. Here are three important life lessons you should walk away with after seeing the movie:

1) Do not live where dinosaurs live.

2) Do not go to places with names like "Skull Island." There is a reason they are named that. You don't want to go there.

3) If you are a woman and you happen, against all my advice, to go to a place called Skull Island where dinosaurs live then you should not spend any time relaxing in your cabin wearing only a slip and a flimsy robe. You should always be wearing a safari outfit with boots on, because it is highly likely that the natives will try to sacrifice you to something, or a monster will become obsessed with you or that enormous prehistoric insects or vampire bats will attack.