Tuesday, April 22, 2008

The Husband's Diet When The Wife Is Away

1) Make a decision to eat healthy while your wife is away.

2) Stop at the Mexican restaurant "just to take a phone call."

3) Buy a chimichanga, but assure yourself you will only eat half.

4) Eat it all.

5) Eat the leftover lettuce. Then the fresh salsa.

6) Realize that your breath is now really onion-y.

7) Buy a fresh strawberry milkshake to "cover the onion smell" on your breath.

8) Start to feel nauseous about halfway through the milkshake.

9) Keep drinking it because you don't want to waste it.

10) Decide not to eat dinner because your stomach hurts.

11) Eat it anyway.

12) Try to convince yourself that eating too much junk on the first day is a good strategy to prevent yourself from eating junk the rest of the week.