That's pretty much the definition of disappointment

Yesterday I took my kids to the dentist.

"I see five cavities, nurse. Write that down."

For some reason my 2-year-old, M, seemed really excited about this, happily getting dressed, eating her breakfast and generally being antsy to get out the door.

On the way to the dentist, one of the other girls said something about going to the dentist to get their teeth looked at, and M said, "We're going to the circus!"

Apparently she didn't remember what the dentist was, and thought we were going to the circus. Needless to say, she cried when we got there.

I'm a bad father

My 2 year old came up to me today. There were three comic books sitting nearby. She pointed at the one I had in my hand and said, "That's Spider-Man."

I was shocked. I couldn't remember showing her anything about Spider-Man.

I held up a picture of Superman. "Do you know who this is?"

 She said, "Dunno."

 I showed her a picture of Batman. "Do you know who this is?"

"Dunno."

It's time to set up a superhero classroom around here.

This would also be a cool way to get engaged

But wouldn't it be cooler to get engaged to a guy who could fly and bend steel? I mean, maybe this girl should hold out....

Wonderful Wednesday: Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" on ukulele

I know you need this today. Jake Shimabukuro (ukelele player supreme) playing Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody" on his ukelele. It's pretty amazing. And Jake clearly loves playing, as you can tell by the look on his face while he plays!

"WE ARE YOUNG" and why old people shouldn't try to fake it

Yesterday, on the way to drop my nine-year-old, A, off at swimming, we heard the song "We Are Young" by Fun. playing on the radio. If you're unfamiliar with the song, here it is:



During the song A asked me: Why do they keep saying "We are young"?

Me: Well, you know, when you are young you want to get older, but when you get old you want to get younger. So they're saying, like, tonight they're young (or are pretending to be young, or wishing they are young) and so they're going to go crazy and set the world on fire, try to change it and then they're going to be so amazing and full of glory that they'll shine bright as the sun and everyone will want to look at them.

A: That's dumb. Because if they burn too bright everyone will just shield their eyes and say, "AAAAH ALL THOSE OLD PEOPLE ARE SHINING TOO BRIGHT!"

Me: ....

Anyway. Today. I am old. So I'll let the whole world smolder til she gets older and joins the fold.

LATER:

A: Dad, can you get senior discounts yet?

Me: No!

A: But I thought you were 47 years old?

Me: What?! No!

Most popular posts from May

It's JUNE! I can't believe it. Well, okay, I guess I can believe it. But still, that was fast. Here are the top six posts at BHR last month:

#1 Ridiculous One Star Review of Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are. If you didn't like this one you can go to bed without any dinner.

#2 The most elaborate and lovely marriage proposal ever captured on film. Not that it rivals my own, in which SCUBA-diving villains attacked us on a beach, I beat them up with awesome kung fu and then took a ring in a waterproof bag off their machine-gun toting bodies. But it was pretty good anyway.

#3 Mixed Messages. In which my children are told by their teacher to eat healthy while the PTA collects soda and promises ice cream parties. If you didn't like this post, chances are you were skipping dinner anyway to eat chocolate bars.

#4 How the Avengers Should Have Ended. In which we learn that if you do something REALLY REALLY good like saving the Earth, you shall be rewarded with shwarma for dinner.

#5 In which we meld the Avengers and Maurice Sendak, creating a unified whole. It's the cuteness of justice!

BONUS: JEDI KITTENS LIGHTSABER DUEL! Bad kitties!

Tasty baby zebras at the Portland zoo

My kids are going to the zoo with their Aunt Dawn this morning, and they are Very Excited.  A skirmish broke out about whether or not the Portland Zoo has lions. It does. To prove it, I dressed each of the kids as a different animal from the African savannah. Special thanks for the idea to Jack the Baby Zebra!

The Dark Knight Rises (as portrayed by hot dogs)

Here's a complete re-shot of The Dark Knight Rises trailer, except all the people have been replaced with hot dogs.



I can't wait to see the feature length event this summer.

How the Avengers Should Have Ended

Hey, since we talked about Spider-Man this morning, why not make it a SUPERHERO MOVIE day here at BHR?

Here's a very funny look at what SHOULD have happened at the end of The Avengers. If you haven't already seen the movie there are some spoilers here.

Four Minute Spider-Man reboot preview

I've had mild feelings of uncertainty about the summer reboot of the amazing Spider-Man. This four minute preview made me excited. Especially the part with the bridge and the kid!

Wonderful Wednesday: Beautiful, funny lip sync marriage proposal

Here's a beautifully done marriage proposal lip sync. It would be nice to know when your boyfriend proposes that at least 60 people think it's a good idea.

.

 I guess the song is from singer "Bruno Mars." And I looked up the lyrics and, just as I suspected, it's not "Dancing Jews" it's "dancing juice." Which makes about 3% more sense, I guess. Regardless... pretty awesome.

Dreaming of super powers

The other night I had a dream that my super powers finally kicked in. I felt relieved rather than surprised.

I knew intuitively that I should keep them a secret. Super strength was the first thing to kick in and kept asking, "Where's my spider sense? When I will be able to crawl on walls?" But no dice. Only super strength.

Then this weird guy with long, stringy hair started hanging around all the time, trying to take pictures of me. He kept asking me if I had powers and I kept telling him now... right up until the time he hit me with a car and pinned me to the pavement with his car. My upper torso was sticking out from under the driver's side of his car. He rolled down his window and said, "Are you sure you don't have any powers?"

"That's it," I said, and then I yanked myself out from under the car, crumpled the car door with my bare hands, yanked it off and then grabbed the guy and threw him over the building in front of us. I figured that was the last of him.

But then, when I was at my friend's party a couple of days later, he showed up and got a picture of me with some weird camera. I could tell it was sending the information somewhere else, not just a local camera (Spider-sense?). He gave me a creepy grin and he said, "I have powers, too. You're going to have do more than throw me over a building."

Then I woke up.

Next time I see that guy, I promise you, he's going to get more than thrown over a building. I'm not going to wait around and ask him questions, either. That guy is officially banned from my interacting in my dream time.

James Bond "Skyfall" trailer

Here's the first trailer for the new James Bond movie, "Skyfall", which comes out this November. As for plot, all we know at this point is that there are some bad guys and James Bond, um, fights them. It doesn't matter. We're all going to go see it anyway.

What if Wes Anderson wrote and directed the new Spider-Man movie?

Then I guess I would go see it. Try to deny that this is awesome:

20 minutes worth of excellent writing advice from Neil Gaiman

Here is twenty minutes of great advice on writing, art and life from acclaimed author and comic book writer, Neil Gaiman.

. via GalleyCat

Wonderful Wednesday: 60,000 dominoes! Rad!

Mixed Messages

Last week I got this flyer from my daughter's classroom which said:

There's a reason we don't put these foods next to each other.
The donuts always win.

"We are beginning our health unit where we will focus on the food pyramid, healthy eating and healthy living."

Parents were encouraged to sign up to bring in healthy snacks. My daughter was asked what she had for breakfast (a bowl of cereal) and told it wasn't a healthy breakfast (thanks a lot, teacher, that's exactly the sort of help we need at home)*.

Also last week, from the PTA, I received this flyer:

"SODA POP AND LITTLE DEBBIE SNACK CAKE CONTEST"

Students are encouraged to bring in 6 and 12 packs of soda and the class which brings in the most will be rewarded with an ICE CREAM PARTY.

*I will point out that Rice Chex don't have a lot of sugar in them. I told my daughter to tell her teacher that we live on Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs.

Revolution

I've been waiting for a television show to come along and replace LOST. I still remember watching the first episode and being pleasantly surprised by how great it was. Could this new show, Revolution, be the long awaited replacement? Probably not. But it looks good enough that I'll try it!

Cute!

What if the Avengers were drawn by Maurice Sendak? Art by Hannah Friederichs!

Wonderful Wednesday: Awesome WW2 story about a trumpet and a German sniper