Monday, May 29, 2006

Memorial Day



For all those who have gone before us by way of the violence or deprivations of war, soldiers and civilians, heroes and victims, citizens and foreigners, ours and theirs, we remember you and the lives you led. We pray for peace and for the return of the One who will bring everlasting peace to our lives, our societies and our world. He did not create us to die, but to live. Come, Lord Jesus!

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Ahoy Me Hearties

Well, my good buddy Cas sent an e-mail out to all my CCC friends and neighbors telling them about our little secret hang out/revolution, so I need to take a couple minutes to explain what is going on here.

1) This isn't a ministry blog. You won't see all my thoughts and ideas about ministry here. It wouldn't fit anyway. Ha ha ha haaaaa! Just kidding. I talk about this occasionally, but prefer to do that sort of thing over the phone.

2) This isn't a dating blog. We only set people up here. They have to go elsewhere for the actual dates because we get nervous watching people date in the comments sections.

3) Mostly this is a hang out blog. We chat about life, movies, books, God, death, writing, dating, the action genre, how to have an evil laugh, eavesdropping, et cetera.

Anyway, I guess what I am saying is: This blog is not endorsed or financially backed by Campus Crusade for Christ or its subsidiaries. The views expressed are purely those of the meglomaniacal Revolutionist himself; some views expressed may be those of his cronies, henchmen and mortal enemies (yes, that means you Pete and Matt).

Lastly, all are welcome here. Let's all be friends. Leave comments so we can talk to you. I try to leave roughly half the comments so there will be no pressure on you to produce. Um. I have nothing more to say.

Who am I kidding, I always have something more to say. But I will take a break now.

Peter Pan


Krista's Aunt Diane took us and the kids to see Peter Pan (the musical) today at Keller Auditorium. Today was the last day that Cathy Rigby played Peter. She won a Tony for the part back in the 80's.

Captain Hook was, of course, the most fun, though hearing the kids all cheer when Peter flew on stage and clap and yell I BELIEVE IN FAIRIES was fun.

Z was hilarious. She kept saying things like, "Why are they just using a light for tinkerbell?" and "Peter is not flying. He is on a string." And later, "That's not a boy playing Peter Pan!" She has not really learned the term "suspension of disbelief".

A was concerned about the pirates. "Are those real pirates or pretend pirates?" I assured her they were pretend. "Will they stay on the stage or come out in the audience" They'll stay on the stage. After that she relaxed and enjoyed the play.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

A complaint about the genre


I had some other complaints after watching MI3 but this is more of an issue with the genre than with this movie. The best action films (Witness) can transcend the genre, but we aren't really looking for that, are we? We just want a shot of adrenaline to the heart.

What bothers me most in a movie like MI3 is the completely inhuman emotional reactions that people have to intense, life-threatening situations. I will post a few examples below.

Example 1: Torturing the emotionally distant bad guy


Our hero, Big Chin, tries to get some information out of Evil Bad Guy, who of course has an english accent.

Chin: Tell me where the atom bomb is hidden or I swear I will drop you into this vat of vicious killer alligators.

Bad Guy: Do as you will, old chap, I shall never reveal the location of the atom bomb. I also have three hydrogen bombs hidden somewhere. Hee hee hee!

Chin (losing it): If you don't tell me there are innocent orphans who will be turned to ash! And my love interest works at the orphanage! Tell me now! NOW!

(He drops the Bad Guy most of the way into the pit. An alligator leaps up and bites BG in the thigh.)

BG: Oh ow ow I am in severe pain!

Chin (Gritting his teeth): Tell me where it is!

BG: Very well old chap. But I must warn you that because of this inconvenience I will hunt down your loved ones and make them suffer. I will find your pet chicken and deep fry it, then feed it to you when you are not expecting it.

Chin: Ha! My pet chicken, Plucky, is much smarter than you are! Now tell me the location.

BG: I have hidden my bombs... at the ORPHANAGE!

Chin: Noooooooooooooo!

(Bad Guy escapes while Chin runs off to the orphanage. Bad Guy is not emotionally disturbed by the alligator nearly severing his leg. He won't ever need counseling or go to a psychiatrist. He won't even be afraid of alligators. He's fine, okay? BACK OFF HIM! He has work to do. Like finding out where Plucky the Chicken lives.)

Example 2: The Girlfriend Overcomes Adversity

Big Chin rushes to the orphanage only to discover that... his girlfriend Young Ingenue has been kidnapped by two Thugs. They have tied her up, gagged her and made fun of her hair and make up.

Chin (whispering from under the chair she has been tied up in): Don't worry, honey. I'm going to save you. You're going to be fine. Do you trust me?

Ingenue: Mmm mmm mmm mm.

Chin: I'll be right back.

The power goes out. Chin beats up one of the bad guys because he has managed to make his own infra-red goggles using some Happy Meal toys left lying around the orphanage. He unties Ingenue and they kiss long and hard.

SUDDENLY A SECOND THUG SHOWS UP AND BOPS CHIN IN THE HEAD!

Ingenue manages to overpower the thug--even though she has been tied up and gagged for hours-- and in the struggle gets the thug's gun and shoots him in the head. Blood spurts everywhere.

Chin (holding the bump on the back of his head): Darling! Your first time ever killing a human being.

Ingenue: It's true.

Chin: How do you feel?

Ingenue: A little weepy. But mostly just proud to be able to defend you... and myself. By killing!

Chin: Do you think you might have nightmares tomorrow when we go on our honeymoon? You know, bad dreams about being tied up and tortured and you know, killing a guy?

Ingenue: I don't think so.

Chin: Good! Because that would be a bummer.

Ingenue: I love you.

Chin: Yes, you sure do.

Ingenue: Let's kiss some more!

Chin: I guess.

Example 3: The Vow for REVENGE


Big Chin and Young Ingenue, exhausted and glad to have finally defused all of the atom and hydrogen bombs (the yellow wire! Cut the yellow wire!) at last stop at a roadside diner for a snack. Evil Bad Guy is still on the loose, though. He is evil!

Chin: I am so glad to have something to eat. Mmm, that chicken smells good! I will take a drumstick.

Ingenue: I will eat a fried snickers bar, because in real life I am allowed to eat only one bite of peas a day.

Chin: This is good chicken! I don't get to eat this stuff very often because it upsets Plucky, my pet chicken. Waitress, where did you get this chicken?

Waitress: Some evil guy came and gave it to us... for free! Can you believe that?

Chin (realization is dawning on him): PLUUUUUUUUUCKYYYYYYYYYYY! Evil Bad Guy, my upraised fist is clenched against you! A single tear is streaming from my eye!

(NOTE: If Harrison Ford is playing Chin, it is okay to replace the upraised fist with a dangerously wielded pointer finger)

Ingenue: I am moved by this open display of Chin's emotions. He is so full of depth.

Chin: This I swear... I will find you Evil Bad Guy... find you and KILL YOU! And I also promise never to allow this horrible moment to keep me from eating chicken in the future!

Example 4: In Which the Bad Guy Is Brutally Murdered and the Happy Ending Comes to Visit


Chin: At last, Evil Bad Guy, I have you trapped! You are, for some reason, precariously balanced on a unicycle on the top of this skyscraper. I, also, am on a unicycle. I cannot use my rocket launcher for fear that the backblow will send me hurtling over the side of this building.

Bad Guy: Ah, but you have forgotten that I have this radio-remote controlled aeroplane which I shall command to come and blow you to pieces!

Chin: Never! Because I must avenge poor Plucky's death!

Bad Guy: Aaaaa ha aha h ha haaaaaa! My aeroplane is racing for your back!

Chin: But I will do... THIS!

(Chin does a triple flip off of his unicycle, catches the seat and uses the wheel to snag onto the roof of the skyscraper. He is hanging over the abyss. The aeroplane soars past him and brushes near Bad Guy... who loses his balance and struggles to stay on his unicycle. BUT HE CAN'T! And he falls off of the building and lands right in the middle of the street 90 stories below.)

Chin (without laughing): Hit the road, Jack.

(A semi runs over Bad Guy)

Chin: And don't you come back no more!

Chin limps to where Young Ingenue is waiting for him. They both have ashes artfully on their faces. Chin's shirt is ripped. They have some small cuts. They kiss, relieved that it is all over.

Ingenue: Chin, I found this duffle bag over here that I think belonged to Evil Bad Guy.

Chin: CAREFUL! IT MIGHT BE A BOMB!

Chin opens the bag. He drops it in suprise. A red chicken flaps out.

Chin: PLUCKY?!

Chin hugs the chicken. Ingenue hugs Chin. The chicken hugs the brother who lives at the orphanage. Everyone turns and smiles at the camera. The little brother grabs the rocket launcher and shoots it into the sky, where the rocket explodes like fireworks!

Everyone: Ha ha ha ha!

Ingenue: You're just like your brother!

Chin (ruffling the boy's hair): He sure is! Let's go get some fried chicken to celebrate!

Boy: Hooray!

Chin: Stop talking! Don't you know I get the last word?

Ingenue: You do?

Chin: Of course! Shhh!

Ingenue: Sorry.

Chin: Be quiet and smile at the camera so they can fade out!

They smile at the camera and it fades out.

THE END

Mission Impossible 3


K and I went to see MI:3 tonight because her parents offered to take the kids for a few hours. Also, parts of the movie were filmed in east asia, so we thought that would be fun.

Anyway, the movie was fine, so long as you don't think about it too much. It had a sort of half-hearted anti-Iraq war message toward the end.

Basically, evil bad guy threatens to sell a weapon to the middle east, Cruise and company have to stop him at any price. Blah blah blah.

There were lots of silly east asia moments (okay, mild spoilers-- as if you care): like when Cruise is told to go to a city of over 20 million people and find the "feng shan apartment complex". That's enough to be "mission impossible" by itself. But then he's supposed to go to apartment 1406... which just wouldn't happen in East Asia because they don't like to have a 14th floor (kind of like us and the 13th floor) because if you say the number 14 the right way it sounds sort of like "want to die" which is not a great selling point.

And I liked how they would be in the city and then suddenly would be filming in a small village an hour away to give the impression that the big western city they were in still looks like a traditional east asian village.

But I will say the real suprise came at the end when Cruise's character electrocutes himself and cannot be revived. Perhaps one of the most moving moments in recent cinematic history.

Overall, a solid action flick. Better than Harrison Ford's latest outing (Firewall) and a million trillion times better than the last Crusie film I saw (War of the Worlds).

Friday, May 26, 2006

Parental Humor 101

As you always expected, there really are little training times for parents on how to make those really good parental jokes. Here's a recent example from our family as we are driving in the car:

Z: I want a pinata at my next birthday party. I never get a pinata.

Me: Why do you want a pinata?

Z: Because they are full of toys and candy.

Me: I see. Well, we will get you a pinata next year but it will be full of broccoli. Ha ha ha!

Yup, the traditional "I'm going to give you broccoli instead of candy" joke. It works every time. Try it!

"A" singing "This Little Light of Mine"

Here's a little video for you. I was going to embed it on my site but I am not smart enough. I am sure that A will figure it out and explain it to me in the next 6 months or so. In the meantime, enjoy our daughter and all of her 3-year-old friends doing their best to sing "This Little Light of Mine."

India

K and I met with the missions pastor of Village, the church in Portland we've started attending. He was telling us about their connection with local churches in the state of Gujurat. He said the biggest thing they need is training for their pastors. Most of them have no formal schooling and many came to Christ because of miraculous events rather than because of a propositional truth presentation from the scriptures. They've even reported seeing people brought back from the dead by the power of God.

Which pretty much clinches it. Monkeys, cobras, tandoori, and now people coming back from the dead. I am taking a trip to India.

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Happy Anniversary (35 years)




A very special happy anniversary to two very special couples, Pete and Maggie Mikalatos (my mom and dad) and Janet and Terry Dobbs (Krista's mom and dad).

Krista and I are very grateful that the Lord gave us such great examples of loving, committed marriages for us to desire as single people and to emulate as a married couple. Thanks for everything you have done for us both when we were kids and today. We love you guys and are thankful for you.

Love, Matt and Krista

It must be a Book Day


I just returned home from California, and waiting for me was a package from Chris Well. Chris sent me his two published novels, Forgiving Solomon Long and Deliver Us from Evelyn. In case you've never wandered over to faith*in*fiction, basically there's a little revolution brewing of people trying to revitalize Christian fiction and make walking into a Christian bookstore worth it... even if you're looking for a novel instead of music or "how-to" books. Chris is working on this, too, and his novels are--get ready for it--Christian gangster novels. Crime fiction, in other words. I've just started Forgiving Solomon Long, and I'll let you know how it is when I'm done. So far a hit man walked into a confessional and popped a couple of bullets into a priest's head. That's a good start.

AND, waiting for me in the mail were the next two novels on my "to be read" list:

Europe Central and Haroun and the Sea of Stories.

Mmmmm, Book Day!

Scooped!

I stumbled across The Stolen Child on Amazon.com. This novel is somewhat like the first novel I ever wrote. Not to the point of being creepy or so that I could sue the author. But I think close enough that I can discard that novel forever.

Important differences between our novels:

1) He clearly did more than one and a half drafts.

2) His is more "literary" than mine.

3) His is published.

Saturday

  • Saturday by Ian McEwan
  • I finished reading "Saturday" this weekend. It's a good read. It's the story of a neurologist in London who has a run-in with a street thug. This sets in motion a series of events that take the main character to the end of his resources to try to protect his family and way of life.

    The really fascinating thing to me is that the author uses the events of this day to explore the arguments and possible conclusions about terrorism and our responses to it. It does it without being preachy, without forcing a conclusion on you, and it also shows the alteration in the western psyche as a result of 911. I enjoyed it quite a bit.

    Yesterday

    As we drove down the highway we saw some kids wrestling/fighting and trying to throw each other into traffic.

    So I rolled down my window and in the most authoritative and disapproving way possible I yelled HEY!

    You might ask why I would do that. It's because that's the sort of thing I do, that's why.

    Of course the kids obeyed my implied command, stopped fighting and started walking away with a look of fear and trepidation on their faces. What if that crazy man came back?

    Thursday, May 18, 2006

    Monkey-Picked Tea

    While scouring the internet for reports of drunken monkeys, I came across this curious product which claims it is the result of trained monkeys: Monkey-Picked Tea.

    I am, however, a little skeptical. This version seems much more likely.

    Okay, I am more than a little skeptical.

    In other news, monkeys get drunk after a hard day at work. Which, perhaps, is why they taunt sun bears until the sun bears eat them.

    Strangely, people also pick tea, get drunk and are eaten by bears. Aww, the little monkeys just want to be like us. So cute!

    Monday, May 15, 2006

    California Dreamin'

    Hey all-- I'm off to CA today to meet with some supporters and try to meet some new supporters. You can be praying for the Lord's provision for us during this time. Thanks!