Having said that, here are two reviewers on Amazon who gave it one star out of five who I think deserve to be mocked and then need to watch the extended DVD version of the movies while a real Tolkien fan explains to them every single little detail of what is happening:
Apparently that guy doesn't care what happens to "midgets."1.0 out of 5 stars Really, truely, one of the most boring books ever., April 16, 2002ByThis review is from: The Fellowship of the Ring (The Lord of the Rings, Part 1) (Paperback)Although many people believe that "The Fellowship of the Ring" is a classic novel of its time, it is not. Granted it opened up many doors for the half hearted fantasy writing of today, it still used plane, boring and ohhhhh so long descriptions. What I don't understand is how JRR Tolkien could take a great idea about four young chaps (who happen to be midgets which kills alot of the drama for me) on a harrowing adventure to destory the ring that the evil one wants so he can take over middle-Earth. The whole book went through a phase of Duex Machinea where Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin where either saved by friendly hobbits, not so friendly hobbits, friendly Elves, not so friendly Elves, or friendly Men or not so friendly Men. Startaling trasitions from numbly simiple to madingly difficult dialog made the book jump from one pace to another. Tolkien didn't use mounting suspense through the book, but manic-depressive, spasmatic jumps. Putting a song in the middle of one of the few exciting scenes breaks the pace, and leaves the reader starting all over again, feeling bland. Altogether, the book was my least favorite "classic."
And lastly, a review that causes you to wonder what book, precisely, the reviewer was reading:
1.0 out of 5 stars this book is awesome, October 9, 2002ByThis review is from: The Fellowship of the Ring (The Lord of the Rings, Part 1) (Paperback)This is the absolute worst book ever written. I still can't believe they killed off Frodo, the supposed star of the trilogy, within 175 pages. That's just ridiculous. Also, what's the deal with the zombies??? I re-read that section 3 times and I still didn't get it. Did they eat Gandalf or not? I still don't know. If you're looking for a confusing book filled with wordy descriptions of fish and the walking dead, you're in luck. Otherwise, you'd better find a new book. A great boook.