Saturday, July 25, 2009

Robots: "How to Serve Man (the cookbook)"

Yes, the very popular EATR robot has been recently released. It can devour biomass. Rumor is that it can eat human flesh.

But no, says Robot Technology Inc. “We completely understand the public’s concern about futuristic robots feeding on the human population, but that is not our mission,” stated Harry Schoell, Cyclone’s CEO in a recent press release.

No, I suspect that mission belongs to another robot technology department. Besides, the military would probably not name a flesh eating robot "EATR" they would name it something like "SAM" or "NUMBER 5" or "WALL-e".

At last, something from my childhood movies is becoming reality. I may not have a rocket car or a jet pack, but thank God there will be Robot Vampires. Yay!

I know what you are wondering: Matt, how do you feel about the impending robot revolution?

Answer: Does not compute.


  1. That should teach Krista for trusting the automatic doors at the store. It's a different story when their cousin is biting people's toes off!

  2. I once read a brilliant short story called "To Serve Man" about an alien race called the Kanamit who came to Earth and sorted out all our problems by making war impossible and solving our food supply problems. All seemed very rosy until at the end of the story one of the characters discovered a book in the Kanamit language called "How to Serve Man". It turned out to be a cookery book.

  3. Luke-- that is precisely the fictional story I was referencing in the title. Bonus points for you, sir.

    Dan -- that is precisely the lesson I was hoping to send to my wife. Well done, sir.