Up until today, I have been dominating in my Red Carpet game that I play against United Airlines. It's the game in which I attempt to put at least one foot on the first class' red carpet when I check in.
Well, today I got upgraded to First Class. I walked up to the attendant and handed her my ticket and she said, "I'm not boarding you yet, sir." I thought maybe I had misheard her earlier and she was only boarding global service members. So I walked back and waited. But then she started boarding the main cabin. I walked down the red carpet and she said "SIR, YOU NEED TO WALK DOWN THE OTHER LANE."
"But I'm flying first class," I said.
"My apologies," she said.
But I knew the truth. She was punishing me for touching the red carpet when I wasn't allowed to by tarnishing my red carpet experience when it was my right.
Touche, United Airlines. Well done.