You won't believe Spielberg's next film: "OBAMA the movie."

And wait until you see Daniel Day Lewis as Obama. It's truly astounding.

Something more to encourage you after the debates

I am a total sucker for these things, they make me laugh so much.



They are so happy together!

President Obama is given a very special honor

That's right.  It's Chia Obama.  Only three presidents currently have this honor: Washington, Lincoln and Obama.  When the five members who make up the Chia Committee were asked how they came to this decision, they said, "Let's be honest... only three presidents have had really great hair.  Okay, four if you count Clinton."  But Clinton was thought to be too controversial a choice, so they replaced him with the Statue of Liberty.

Congratulations, President Obama!

Inauguration Day LIVE

Whomever you voted for, today's the day you get a new President to treat respectfully, pray for and support. Hulu is providing a live feed... so I thought I'd bring it to you, too.

EDIT: Didn't realize that there was a commercial on the front end of the feed and that there really wasn't an easy way to turn the thing off if you *didn't* want to watch the inauguration. So here's a link to the live feed.

OBAMANIA

Seattle practically exploded like a teddy bear when Obama won the presidential bid, and my friends in Portland say it was the same around here. Strange episodes of completely spontaneous geriatric bingo burst out, with people shouting things like MCCAIN! I SEE MCCAIN!

As I surf the net, however, I see that people have gone completely out of control with Obama Mania.

For instance, this man has taught his dog to say "Obama."



Others have discovered the effect of Obama's presidency on the far future:


People are making overt references to Obama being Superman:



Or some sort of legendary creature:Whatever happened to the old days, when people were satisfied with painting enormous murals of their candidates?


I would like to end this post with a picture of this guy who has an Obama tattoo on his hip, but I debated long and hard and decided against it. You can google the guy, though. Two things will come up, this guy and some guy who had a tattoo artist (who does not specialize in realistic likenesses of the candidate) decorate his calf.

So instead I will leave you with this fashion accessory:


That's for you, Miss Alexis. I expect to see these in your earlobes when next we meet.

Obama Dog via BoingBoing.
Spockbama via Gateway Pundit.
Obama shirt and dragon via Zimbio.com.

My Favorite Election Moment in Seattle

Soon after President-Elect Obama's acceptance speech, I wandered out onto the Ave here in Seattle. As I headed just north of 45th Street I saw two men about to beat each other to a pulp. Then a bystander yelled at them. "STOP IT! OBAMA IS PRESIDENT NOW! STOP!"

Then the two guys sort of growled at each other and backed off.

It was amazing.

Then one of them yelled, "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT BOY? That's right, turn around and keep walking. Stay cool. Stay in school." So I kept walking and stopped watching. And I guess I will stay in school, too.

Dr. Suess and Coded Voting Instructions

Dr. Suess often included coded political statements in his books (as is so very clear in the book "Green Eggs and Ham").

Here's a quick little reminder from the good doctor about Election Day:

ONE FISH. Every vote matters... even if you're a yellow fish, don't be scared! Jump out of the water and get your vote in.

TWO FISH. Take a friend! Go to the polls alone if you must, but it's always more fun to vote together.

RED FISH, BLUE FISH. It doesn't matter your political affiliation. What matters is that you take your responsibility as a citizen of this nation seriously and VOTE!

Accosted on the street by strangers

As you move toward Times Square, nearly every corner is populated with men trying to sell you tickets to a comedy show. For some reason I am like an unpleasant mark to them. I have tried different ways to respond to them, all of which seem to make them angry.

The Polite Approach: In which I say, "No, thank you" when they ask if I would like to see a comedy show. To which they reply by shouting after me, "WHY DON'T YOU TRY SAYING YES, HUH? WHAT ABOUT THAT?"

The Ignoring Them Approach: In which I pretend not to see or hear them. To which they reply by shouting after me, "WHAT, YOU CAN'T HEAR ME ASKING YOU IF YOU LIKE COMEDY? HUH?"

I am not sure why they keep yelling after me. They don't seem to do it to other people. Is it my old man sweater? Is it the fact that I am with a beautiful woman and they are insanely jealous? Are they intimidated by my monstrous biceps? I do not know.

Here was my favorite interaction today:

Guy Selling Tickets: Do you like comedy?

Me: No, thanks.

GST: You know, Shakespeare was pretty funny.

Me (already out of GST's range; grinning): Yes, he was.

Krista: Is that going on your blog?

Me: Yes. That guy has just earned himself a place in history at BHR.

Tomorrow I have some new techniques to try out. My favored one at this moment is the "Pretend You Are A Foreigner" technique. I think this might work, since people in Latin America tend to think I am their countryman, I thought I might be able to get away with it here. I just have to say something in Spanish whenever people try to sell me tickets. We'll see how it goes.

Two more strangers on the street:

1) While in the Village, two guys with clip boards started sending hand signals to each other while we walked by and the second guy said, "Gay and lesbian rights?" I just stared at him. I couldn't figure out what he meant. Then he said, "Have a nice day." And then I was past him. I suppose I should have said "That's true" since gay and lesbians do have rights (?).

2) A fervent young man asked, "Do you have a minute to give to Obama and the Democrats?" I said, "No, I don't think I do." For one thing, I didn't see Obama there. I suppose if he personally wanted a minute of my time I would provide it. But I wasn't sure how the fervent young man with a clipboard was going to use my minute. And just asking him would use up most of the minute, anyway. Besides, I am on vacation. I am not giving any moment of this day to any politician or political party. They have more important things to do than spend my minute.

I didn't notice McCain or Obama mentioning this

Common sense dictates that in a debate one should mention the trebuchet, the atomic bomb of the middle ages.

As you know, one of my own campaign promises is that we will use this marvelous tool to hurl those who annoy us far into the air and away from us. I wanted to show you how serious I am about this promise, but since the United States is such a litigious society I had to have my supporters in Japan set up a secret trebuchet experimentation post in Britain. Here is an example of what you can expect in the near future if you elect me King:



Nets optional, of course!

It's about time that a blog called "revolution" discusses politics

Yes, I know. You have all been waiting with baited breath for me to make a political endorsement. It would seem that since my poetry contest dealt a crippling blow to the McCain campaign that perhaps I would be against him. Then again, the complete lack of mentioning Obama could be the sign of a deep-seated feeling of hating all he stands for. Hope. Change. Feh! I hope we never change.

Just kidding.

No, one thing you can count on here at BHR is fair, balanced reporting where we never make a mention on how you vote in Presidential elections, unless someone we know happens to be running.

I did notice yesterday, however, a brewing brouhaha related to pastors endorsing political candidates. I know what you are thinking: "Did Mikalatos really write the words 'brewing brouhaha'?" Yes, I did. Now I need you to focus so we can move on. First, as you know, it's illegal for pastors to make political endorsements from the pulpit. It's a separation of church and state thing. We don't want pastors, you know, using their influence in political campaigns. If they do something like this, the IRS will remove their tax-exempt status. Some pastors yesterday said things like, "This is more important to me than money. Besides I can get our tax-exempt status back easily." Anyway, some pastors are planning a big "preaching rally" where they will get together and "name names" politically... so that the IRS will revoke their exempt status... so that they can sue the IRS... so that the IRS policy on this issue will come to court and be challenged as unconstitutional.

Now. I will just say, first of all, that my preference is that pastors talk about Jesus. The idea of a rally designed to talk about politics with the intention of suing the government is ludicrous. Pastors have better things to do. And yes, I know that Jesus cared about politics a lot, and as I recall his big point was, Pay your taxes.

But actually, here would be my preference. Instead of giving pastors a chance to publicly declare their political allegiance, what if we took that right away from other people? This would be awesome. I am sick of hearing everyone else's opinion on who I should vote for.

I believe we should start with entertainers. I love it (for those of you lacking sarcasm sensors allow me to say **SARCASM OFF THE PORT BOW! MAN THE HARPOONS!**) when an actor stands up and says something like, "You know me from such box office hits as 'Phishing Protection' and 'The Zebra Connection.' Because of my professional ability to pretend to be other people you should vote for my favorite candidate."

You are thinking, "That law is unenforceable." No, no, no. The IRS made a law to enforce it against pastors. Just do the same thing for actors. It would be something like, for every time an actor publicly says which candidate you should vote for, the IRS will take all their wages from their next film. This would then be distributed to the people of America for having to listen to the Hollywood endorsements.

Next, we could make a law where politicians are only allowed to say things that are meaningful and specific. We could create some news shows that do something more than partisan sniping and sound bites. We could reform the senate and the congress. We could build an enormous trebuchet from which to launch people who annoy us.

The easiest way for all these things to happen, of course, would be if I was in charge. So I am asking all of you to vote for me as King of the World. I don't want to do it, but if you all voted for it I promise I would do it well. The unique programs and ideas that I would bring to the world stage would literally change the world. First, we would change the name of the world to Fun Land to increase the intergalactic tourist traffic. Then we would make the internet available for free to everyone. Then we would make it mandatory that every bowl in the world receive three scoops of ice cream. This, my friends, would be only the beginning. And don't forget the Giant Annoying Person Trebuchet Launcher. We could launch other things, too, on festival days.

Now please excuse me. I need to descend to my secret throne room from which I manipulate world events.

Finally... someone whose politics we can agree with

What a relief to know I am not alone: