Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Steve Martin, Emperor of Dreams

I had another weird dream.  Are they always weird?  I guess so.

In this one, Steve Martin had put into place a nefarious scheme to become Ruler of the World that required some diabolical evil.  His plan had almost come to fruition, but somehow I had made it into his throneroom and he was talking with me about his plan to rule the world with an iron fist.  I kept imploring him to remember how everyone in the world loved him for his many comedy bits, especially his beloved portrayal of "Squid Head Man."  I kept reminding him of the endearing things that Squid Head Man would say and do and how much we all felt connected to Squid Head Man, and that he could make the world a better place by being more like Squid Head Man instead of being an evil despot.  It seemed like my words were really getting through to him, he even seemed to choke up a bit at the thought of how much we all really cared for him. 

Of course this is when I woke up, which I can only assume means that Emperor Martin turned off his Dream-Communicator so that he could consider all my words in privacy.

So. If the world is not reduced to ashes in some evil comedian-induced plot, I suppose you have me to thank. And if, conversely, I happen to mysteriously disappear, I would appreciate it if all of you would start a grassroots campaign to send Steve Martin rubber Squid Head masks.  Gracias.