Sunday, July 06, 2008

Not in the NW anymore

Weird cultural things I've seen or learned in Florida:

1) They don't care how many plastic bags you get your groceries in. If you say, "Oh, I just need one bag" or "I don't need a bag" they look at you like you are crazy.

2) If you drop something, it will start rotting before it hits the ground.

3) Alligators. People say they aren't dangerous. They say they won't bother you. Then they say something like, "Of course, they can run faster than a horse." Followed by, "But if one starts to chase you, just zig-zag and it will get confused." Um. How much of a head start do I get?

4) Also they say things like, "Snakes here are more scared of you than you are of them. They aren't even poisonous. They won't hurt you. Unless you corner a water moccasin on her nest." Me: "Aren't water moccasins poisonous?" Them: "Yes. Very."

5) Grocery store carries food like "marshmallow salad." Also, "Ham salad." Also, other things called salad made out of mayonnaise plus something else. Mostly mayonnaise.

6) Grocery stores think it will get them more customers to have the slogan "The Beef People."

7) Okay, I already mentioned the alligators, but come on people, they are giant lizards. When our friend said that alligators don't hurt people I said, what about that guy who got attacked a couple of weeks ago? She asked what happened. I said, he went swimming in a pond and halfway across it attacked him. She said, Oh yeah, you should never swim in the ponds here.

8) Followed by another friend telling us about the brain-eating amoeba in the ponds. I am not kidding. Look it up.

We haven't actually seen any gators or amoeba so far. And the weather has been great.