Fasting Day Thirty-Six: Fasting together in community

When I was in college, one of my Catholic hall mates came to me and said that we were all going to do a fast together, and she assumed I would want to be a part of it. I shrugged and said sure, and as we talked about it, I realized that what we would actually be doing is fasting for the Muslim holy days of Ramadan. My friend Imraan is Muslim, and some of the girls (all of them Catholic, as I recall) thought that we should support his month of fasting by doing it with him (Ramadan is the month when Mohammed received the Quran, so there is a month long festival). I don’t recall that I had ever purposely fasted before, which isn’t a big surprise since it wasn’t something that was spoken about openly in evangelical Christianity, at least at that time.  Far from being a communal value, so far as I knew, fasting wasn’t something that was practiced at all in my faith community. My Catholic friend thought this was hilarious, and they kept assuring me that fasting with others was an ordinary, even laudable, thing. “It’s like Lent for Muslims,” one of my hallmates said.

During Ramadan, those participating in the fast don’t eat (or drink… or, technically, put anything in their mouth) during daylight hours. At night, families and others from the community come together after the call to prayer and eat a feast. So the month of fasting is also a month of feasting.  Every day we would fast during the daylight hours (which for me meant skipping lunch… I didn’t eat breakfast in college), and then come together at a certain point in the early evening in the cafeteria and eat together and talk about our days. I don’t remember doing the whole month… maybe the others did. But I did a few days at least, and it was really fun and deeply bonding to spend time with my friends, coming together at the end of the day and talking about our days, the experience of fasting, and enjoying our cafeteria food together.

It’s something we’re missing in my branch of Christianity. In Islam, Judaism and Catholocism there are specific times set aside for communal fasting, and early Christianity appears to have followed the Jewish pattern of fasting, with festival fasts and many people fasting for 24 hour periods about twice a week. But as prostestant Christianity broke from Catholicism, and then continued to fraction into denominations, many of our denominations jettisoned a lot of those types of practices, and Lent dropped out pretty quickly, followed eventually (I guess) by communal fasting. I think we’ve lost something significant there. Communal fasting creates a feeling of being in something together. It delineates a line around the community and shows who is in and who is out. It emphasizes our commonalities and creates a tradition and common experience, and re-focuses us on what matters most… our common commitment to following God, emphasizing that our commitment to God and to our community is more important than even our most basic needs, like food.

Interestingly enough, the culture of Campus Crusade for Christ is really “fast friendly.” Our founder, Bill Bright, did a forty day fast about once a year, and many others in the organization followed his example, so it’s really one of the only places where I haven’t felt like a stranger, an outsider or an extreme crazy person when talking about my fast. In fact, in CCC, instead of questions like, “are you crazy?” or “Why on earth would you do that?” people have asked how I’m doing or brought up their own experiences while fasting. Which made me feel – more so than at my church or other places in the Christian community – that someone understood what I was doing. It made me feel like an insider rather than a freak.

Eavesdropping with Matt (Episode Fifty-Four: I know the answer but not the question

Dedicated to the woman from Costco who called me for some unknown reason this last Sunday.


My phone rang! The called ID said "Costco." I picked it up, thinking that maybe Costco needed to talk to me. I don't know why they would need this, but I figured, why else would they be calling.


Me: Hello?

Costco Lady: One night in Bangkok.

Me: ....

Costco Lady: I don't know if that's the title or some of the lyrics.

Me: I am not sure what you are referring to.

Costco Lady: I've dialed the wrong number.

Click.

Gosh, lady, you should have given me a little more context. Maybe I could have helped you.

Fasting Day Thirty-Five: Taking Stock

Gah! I couldn't take it anymore. I feel so weak and tired and out of it, and I am SO SICK of juice. It's amazing that I can be this far along in depriving my body of meaningful sustenance and simultaneously wanting to never, never drink juice again.

I decided that I would make myself some vegetable stock today (which I should have been doing all along, I guess... no doubt Nurse Shasta would say so), and because I've been craving Chinese food, I made a Chinese vegetable stock from this book.

And it was amazing. Mmm. I feel warm and happy.

I couldn't figure out what "daikon" was, though, so I didn't use any of that.

Here's the recipe:
2 Tb vegetable oil
1 yellow onion (quartered and peeled)
1 Daikon (it's a vegetable, I know that much)
2 cups sliced cabbage or bok choy (I used white cabbage)
6 cups water
1/2 teaspoon salt
6 white peppercorns

* in a large saucepan over medium high heat, warm the oil and stir fry the onion and cabbage (and daikon... whatever) for about 6 minutes
* add the water and pepper and salt (pepper and salt's optional) and bring to a boil over high heat. reduce to medium low and simmer uncovered for 30 minutes
* remove from heat and strain through a sieve.
*drink it! It's good!

Fasting Day Thirty-Four: Coming out of it...

Less than a week to go, and my mind is starting to turn toward re-entry. I don't feel like I've hit whatever the purpose is for this fast, but there have been a lot of good things throughout. 

When I taught high school once upon a time, a group of my students decided to do a "40 Hour Famine"... it's a fast that some organizations encourage to make people aware of world hunger and poverty. Sometimes kids will raise money for the fast, asking people to pledge money for the number of hours they fast, and often it's done in community, so that everyone is finishing about the same time.

The students asked me to be their supervisor for the fast, which included an overnight hang out at the school at the end. Watching high schoolers fast was interesting, as they not only need more food since they're pretty much always in the middle of a growth spurt, but they also tend to be more dramatic and emotional, so there was a lot of moaning and flinging of "starving" bodies across the tables in the room we were staying in. It was a Christian school, so it was no problem to have a lot of prayer times.

Overall, the students did well, except for their fasting re-entry. The guy who organized the fast knew that "everyone will be hungry" at the end of the fast, so he ordered lots of giant pizzas. I told him that this wasn't a good idea, that they should take it slow and easy when they re-entered the world of food but he didn't care. The kids ate about an entire large pizza each and then they fell onto their backs, holding their distended stomach and groaning... pretty much exactly what they did while they were fasting except that now they had smiles on their faces. 

Nurse Shasta says that I should take as long coming out of the fast as I spent fasting... in other words, that I should spend 40 days getting back up to speed with eating again. Honestly, the thought of that makes me cringe. I don't want to spend my first few weeks eating boiled vegetables or something. Then again, it's pretty clear that my body is going to need time to re-engage with food. Krista says that the last time I did a long fast I was back to eating my regular meals within a few days. I'm guessing it will be something a little slower than that, but a bit faster than 40 days. I guess we'll see! In less than a week!

Fasting Day Thirty-Three: Father's Day

Just a reminder, these posts aren't in real time. So don't panic. 

Here's the sort of restaurant I like.

How many holidays and celebrations can there be in 40 days? Seems like there are a lot... every month and a half we're celebrating something, and then there are weddings and days in honor of this or that.  Today is Father's Day.  Our family tradition on Father's Day is that Krista and the kids take me out to a meal, but obviously that's not possible today. We'll have to reschedule! Part of the deal, of course, is that no one complains about my choice, no matter what it is!

Since a meal wasn't an option, we went to church in the morning (here's the message Pastor John preached) and then went (for the first time) to Things From Another World so I could buy myself a graphic novel on behalf of my wife and children. I chose The Umbrella Academy, which turned out to be an interesting and excellent choice. Once we got home I was sent to my hammock, where I spent the afternoon reading my comic book and then took a nap. There's not much better than a nap on the hammock with a graphic novel on your chest. 

Overall, a nice day, although the lack of food still makes it harder to regulate my emotions. But it was nice to have a day that was relaxing and enjoyable in the midst of the fast.

Fasting Day 32: Bibliography

I read a lot of books about fasting during my fast. If you're interested, here are a few of them and a couple of thoughts on each.

Baab, Lynne M. Fasting: Spiritual Freedom Beyond Our Appetites. Downer’s Grove, IL, InterVarsity Press 2006.
An interesting book with a broad variety of good information… Ms. Baab walks thought a Christian history of fasting, medical issues in fasting, and fasting as a way to get freedom and deeper connection with God. Her definition of fasting is not related to food only, but in giving up anything for a limited time for a spiritual purpose.

Wimmer, Joseph F. Fasting in the New Testament. Ramsey, NJ, Paulist Press. 1982. This book had some really interesting insights into a variety of new testament passages, especially the 40 days in the desert for Christ. Mr. Wimmer spent a good amount of time focused on discovering the “original” text of scripture (i.e. the Q document and so on), so might be a little much for people who put a higher theological weight on the idea of the Bible being completely authentic (for instance, one of his big questions is, “Did Jesus actually historically go out into the desert and do a 40 day fast or is that just a story told for teaching purposes?”) I didn't walk away on board with everything the man thinks or even liking some of his questions, but he made some surprising connections and definitely provided "food for thought" ha ha ha ha ha ha. Pun intended.

Towns, Elmer L. Fasting for Spiritual Breakthrough. Ventura, CA, Regal Books, 1996. Essentially, Towns sees fasting as a tool to break various spiritual issues in life, and lists nine different Biblical examples of this and what he sees each “type” of fast entailing. I didn't find the book particularly convincing, honestly, because it doesn't match my experience or what I understand to be happening in the scriptures he looks at. It's a popular book and a popular point of view, though, and may be worth your time.

Bright, Bill. Your Personal Guide to Fasting and Prayer.  This entire booklet is available at the link on the title. This is probably the most practical, brief and straightforward of the fasting books I read. It's designed to help people who are actually fasting, rather than learning about the theology or history of fasting. And it's free, and written by someone who did a lot of fasting, not just study about fasting.

Piper, John. A Hunger for God. Wheaton, IL. 1997. Crossway Books. A good, Christ-centered book on the power of fasting to help us reawaken and refocus ourselves toward God. It shows how fasting is a spiritual tool that allows us to desire God more in our lives. And, coincedentally, it's the inspiration for my own title on my own never-to-be-published book on fasting, Hungry For God and Cheeseburgers.

Foster, Richard. Celebration of Discipline. Only one chapter of this discussion of spiritual disciplines is actually about fasting, but it's a great, compact discussion of the potential positives in fasting and how to use fasting as a tool to grow closer to Christ.

McKnight, Scot. Fasting: The Ancient Practices. McKnight's book is probably my favorite new read during this fast. He focuses on fasting as a response to sacred moments in life, not as a tool to "get" anything from God. So, it might be that fasting comes about as a result of overwhelming grief or because one experiences God's presence in an overwhelming way (or desires to) but not because it moves God in any way. In fact, he argues that fasting is our "natural" response to sacred moments and it's not something we need to practice or prepare for, but will be our natural response in certain situations. I'm simplifying and no doubt doing violence to his argument, but this is one I would gladly recommend.

Fasting Day 31: Is there a big decision on the horizon?

Why? Why? Whyyyyyyyyyy?

Throughout this whole process, the one question I haven't been able to answer sufficiently has been, "Why are you fasting?" I don't feel like I have a good answer for that... or, at least, one that sounds good to other people. In other words, when I say, "Well, I feel like the Lord told me to do it" that leaves a lot of people uncertain. Why would the Lord tell you to do that? Did he explain why? Is it about discipline? Obedience? Greater intimacy with him? Are you seeking direction? To which I have only been able to say, sure, all those things are probably true. But it's not like God called me into his study, sat me down and said, "Son, I'd like you to stop eating for more than a month. Here's a list of all the reasons why, along with a review sheet of all the lessons I expect you to learn along the way."

Last night after the wedding we went to stay the night with our good friends Erik and Maureen York. They knew I was fasting because we had talked about it at the wedding and Erik (who is a pastor in Seattle) said, "We'll talk more about this later."

So now it was later, and we were all sitting at their dining room table talking about a lot of things, when Erik turned to me and asked a question that no one had asked me, at least not quite like this. He asked, "Why are you fasting? Is there a big decision on the horizon?"

I opened my mouth to reply, and realized before I spoke that I wasn't sure of the answer. Did I have a big decision on the horizon? Maybe so. I wasn't aware of one, but something about the question made me pause. Most of the time, big fasts in scripture come in turning point moments... a new ministry is about to begin, or someone is about to have an intense meeting with God and receive some marching orders. Could it be that I'm in the midst of something like that? A preparation for hearing something big about my future?

Ten years ago I did the longest fast I had done to that point, about 30 days or so. At the end of that fast, hidden in a stand of bamboo, I prayed and talked with God and heard him speak in one of the clearest ways I ever have in my life and what happened in that moment was that God asked me if I was willing to take on writing as part of what he expected of me. Not necessarily my vocation, but something that would be part of my service to him, not just a hobby. I won't go into the details of that conversation right now, but for me it's an important turning point where my writing officially went from being a hobby to being something I knew needed to be professional and in his service. Could something like this be coming in the next nine days? Could it be that there's a big decision on the horizon? What might he ask from me?

I can't remember what I said to Erik. I hope I said, "Good question." Because that's a great question and one I think all of us can ask ourselves: "Is there a big decision on the horizon?" Am I ready for that?

Mourning the Loss of Campus Crusade for Christ

Previous posts on this topic: 

* Five Terrible, Horrible Things about Campus Crusade for Christ's new name and why we chose it anyway

* Cru: a name "without meaning"

* The criteria we used in the name change process and why they matter.

* Name change overview 

Bill and Vonette Bright, the founders of CCC

Change is hard. It's harder for some of us than others. But for many of us, the change in name for Campus Crusade for Christ is a big deal. Some people came to Christ many years ago through an organization of that name. Some people, their first missions experience was with that organization. Others, it may be that their first job out of college was with a crazy group of young people out of UCLA who had started a cutting edge organization called Campus Crusade for Christ and believed that through God's power they could change the world.


In the midst of the name change, I thought it might be good to take a deep breath and acknowledge that whether the new name is good or bad, that change is hard. I've read some articles about organizational change, and most experts say that change in the workplace takes us through a process much like the grief in the midst of losing a loved one (though of course it is a smaller issue that is hopefully worked through more quickly). A lot of organizational psychologists will even use Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's "stages of grief" terminology to walk employees through what is happening.


For those who are unfamiliar with those stages, let me walk through them quickly, with some thoughts about how this might look related to the Campus Crusade name change for those of us who are heavily invested in the organization (whether staff, students, graduates, donors or friends of the ministry):


1) Shock and Denial. Basically, this involves refusing to believe what has happened. In this stage someone might say, "This can't be right, I'm sure it's all a mistake and the leadership will change their minds by January." During the big unveiling you could see this most clearly in the number of people on Twitter who were saying things like, "Cru? That's a joke, right?"


2) Guilt. Despite the fact that for the vast majority of us the name change is out of our hands, some people will feel bad that they didn't do something differently, something that would have made the old name work. Or maybe it's guilt that they didn't make the time to send in their thoughts about the name change, or their suggestion for the new name and they're wondering, maybe it would have all been different if I had just made the time to say what I thought, or said it more clearly....


3) Anger. I think this one is self-explanatory, and unfortunately it's most likely to be targeting our leadership. Again, this is one of the stages of grief, so I don't think it's something to be dismissed as evil or un-Christian. How we act during times of anger can be sinful, but experiencing anger in a moment like this is not something that can necessarily be controlled. How I've seen this play out so far has been angry phone calls and notes from CCC supporters, CCC staff venting about the leadership or the name or the process and some unfounded and nasty rumors that have gone around even before the name came out (i.e. "there's not really a process happening, they don't care about our opinions, there's a name that was already chosen years ago" etc... none of which is true.).


4) Acceptance. "So. This is really happening." This is the moment of realization, that something in the world has changed and must be dealt with, one way or another. 


5) Moving on. We can finally set the grief (mostly) aside and live in this new world that has been left to us. It might be the moment when the old logo gets dropped from your newsletter and the new one goes in, or when you stop flinching every time you see that new staff person who loves her "Cru" t-shirt and wears it EVERY SINGLE DAY. It doesn't mean, necessarily, that you like the new name. It just means that you can leave the conversation behind. You don't find yourself seeking out the other staff who are angry about the name change and standing outside meetings and venting about it any more. You just want to do your job, and it doesn't matter what the organization is called, at least, not so much that it distracts you any more.


From a personal side, let me share a couple of thoughts. 

I joined Campus Crusade for Christ in January of 1999. I didn't come to Christ through the organization, or do anything significant with them in college. After college I met this wonderful woman who became my girlfriend and later my wife who had amazing experiences in college through a few Crusade staff people who came out to their school once a week in what CCC called a "catalytic" campus... meaning it was largely run by students who were being coached by staff from a distance. Krista went on a year long overseas missions trip with CCC, and I went to visit her partway through it. Her team was full of, I think it's safe to say, ordinary people. People like me. Some of them had lesser social skills, maybe. Some of them had better. Some of them were people I would probably have befriended in other contexts and some of them weren't. Extroverts and introverts and singles and two married couples with kids and all of them together for one simple reason: they honestly believed the world would be a better place if more college students heard about Jesus Christ and had a chance to decide whether they wanted to follow him or not.


Krista and I joined staff after we were married, and over the years we've done a lot of amazing things with some incredible people. I saw a Buddhist guy become a Christian in one conversation... hard core Buddhist to hard core Christian in 30 minutes in a conversation with a staff guy named Brian Ricci. We walked through the loss of a student on a summer project in Santa Cruz with staff people like Mike and Sharon Mehaffie and Paul and Amy Mayer and a whole bunch of other amazing people. I've stood on the Great Wall, and been to Siberia and Costa Rica and Mexico City and Spain and Turkey and in al those places I've talked to ordinary people just like you and me from those countries and been able to thell them about Jesus, and talk about their questions and pray with them and be amazed that we serve a God who is not the God of America, but the God of the nations. Some of our closest friends in life, like Nicole Lewis and Shasta Kramer and all our East Asia stinters and our current team of WSN friends (I realize I can't start to name people in all these places because I'm going to leave some out) are people we've met on staff. I mean it. If you listed "top 30 friends" I'm guessing 25 of ours would be people we know from being on staff with this organization. That all happened in an organization called Campus Crusade for Christ.


And if we started to list all the names of the people who have heard the gospel through Campus Crusade for Christ, and then all the people who have become Christians through it, and then all the people who have grown closer to Christ because of this organization, it would be a long and impressive list. Not because the organization itself is amazing, but because for the last sixty years there have been people who have been doing their best to follow Jesus who have been a part of Campus Crusade for Christ, and God has done some miraculous, literally miraculous, things.


And now, Campus Crusade for Christ, this organization we love and that has been like a home to many of us, is changing its name to Cru.


There is reason to mourn that. It is okay to cry about that. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to be in shock and hope that's not the case.


For me, when the team of people looking at all the research and the potential names got down to our list of ten, I remember looking at the list with a feeling of shock and depression. We had started with over 1,600 names and these were the final ten and I remember thinking, "So. That's it. That's the best we can do. It's one of those ten names and I don't really like any of them that much."


As I moved through the stages of grief, I eventually came to a place of acceptance. We got down to five names and frankly some of my least favorite were on the list. But I remember this one day thinking to myself, "You know, even if the name ends up being my absolute least favorite name, it's not going to change what I do. It's not going to change who I serve or what I am called to do. I might not like the names on the list, but I can live with any of them." For me, that was the breakthrough into acceptance. There was a feeling of peace. I could do this.


Soon after that, it became really clear from our conversations, from the research, and from our prayers that we were going to recommend to the board that Campus Crusade for Christ become Cru. And this name, a name I hadn't really cared for in the beginning, sparked a little something in me. This tiny spark of hope. This barely visible seed of a thought: "What if this name really turns out to be a good thing?" What if it means more people hearing the gospel? And the more I thought about it, the more I realized: that could really be the case! This might really be something amazing with huge, life-giving ramifications. The down sides of of the new name might actually be better than the downsides of our much loved current name.


That was my process. I'm not saying it will be yours, or that it should be yours. I am saying this: if you are grieving the loss of our name, grieve well. Behave with love and generosity toward our leadership and one another, but grieve it fully and honestly. 


If you're fine with the name and excited about it, I would say be patient with those who are grieving. Listen to them well when they talk about "the good old days" of Campus Crusade for Christ. Be honest about your excitement, but don't expect everyone to share it. 


Let's give one another the time we need in this whole process. 


I shared in Colorado how Phil Knight, the founder of Nike, saw the first sketch of what would become the most recognized logo on the planet, the Nike Swoosh and said, "I don't love it. Maybe it will grow on me." I hope we can approach this name change with the same honesty and at least that much positivity. If all you can say is, "Maybe it will grow on me" I think that is a generous and excellent thing to say.


In the meantime, my friends, here is a reminder of our name and our shield... a name and shield which for many people has been the first thing they've seen at the entrance to the kingdom of God, and which many faithful men and women have served under in the last sixty years. Let's remember it fondly and treat it with respect:

Fasting Day Thirty: Fasting while the bridegroom is here

This morning Krista and I drove up to Seattle for an old friend's wedding. Actually, it's someone we met when she was just a kid... maybe eight or ten years old, the same age our kids are now! It was strange and moving to see someone we had known when she was a child getting married. Her dad was completely falling apart, of course, and I can only imagine that I will get to do that three times or so in the years to come. 

We can't go home to Seattle without a lot of memories. We parked near our old apartment above the Animal Eye Clinic, where we saw a steady stream of one-eyed puppies coming through for two years. Then, Krista and I went to lunch at the best Indian restaurant I've ever eaten at in America, Taste of India! It's actually the best Indian restaurant I've eaten at anywhere, but I figure there could be a better one in India. Maybe not, though.

Of course I couldn't eat anything, but I love that place so much that we ordered a meal for two and then we put the rest in a cooler we had cleverly brought along for precisely this reason and then lugged it around Seattle with us with the plan being to take it home and freeze it so I can eat it after the fast is over. Mmmmm, palak paneer. I don't know if that's the modern equivalent of turning rocks into bread or what, but I love me some butter chicken and palak paneer.

Krista and I also went for a walk around Green Lake (which might have been a bit much for me... I needed a nap in the car afterwards!) and then went down to U Village to buy a wedding gift and shop around a bit. 

Mmm, peanut butter banana wedding cake!

It's strange not to eat at the celebration of people you love. You can hide it a little bit by getting up to get people's drinks or something like that, but at the end of the day people notice that you're not taking part in the celebration and that's just weird. I think that's what Jesus was talking about when he said that his followers won't fast while he, the bridegroom, is with them. But when the bridegroom is gone they will fast, awaiting his return. 

We followers of Christ are waiting for the wedding feast of the Lamb. In the meantime there's some time of waiting and fasting, but a time is coming very soon when that will come to an end and we will all join in together and there will be no more fasting. In his presence, there will be no need for fasting again.... 

Five Terrible, Horrible Things About Campus Crusade for Christ's New Name and Why We Still Chose This One

This is probably a post in which I should remind people that the things I say here are my opinion and don't reflect the opinion of Campus Crusade for Christ, and is not endorsed, edited or approved by CCC. 

I was on the team of people who helped choose Campus Crusade for Christ's new name. Cru. That's right. For the last year I've been in meetings at the corporate headquarters in Orlando, I've been on all-day conference calls, I've looked at e-mails and logos and color-swatches and kept my mouth shut about what was going on for the sake of keeping it all under wraps. I didn't make the final call (I have no authority to make a decision like that), but I shared my opinion with our leadership along the way.

The name we landed on, Cru, was not my first choice. In fact, I remember early on in the process, when we still had about a thousand names on the "potentials" list, talking with another member of the team (I didn't get his permission to share this, so I won't use his name) and saying, "I hate that name. If there's one name it won't be, it's that one." He disliked it as well. And, in fact, it was eventually dropped from our list of names and was only added back in later because we needed one more name for a research project we were running, a sort of "benchmark" name, and a lot of our campuses have used the name in the past, so we threw it in because it's what a lot of people called us already.

Now, over time I've grown used to the name (I've known for a few months this was the way things were likely to go). In fact, I'd say I went from depressed to apathetic to excited as this name became more and more real. But, let's be honest, every name has some drawbacks. So let's get them out on the table, shall we? I'll list the worst things about the name and then we can talk about why it's maybe not so bad as it seems at first glance.

1) Rather than completely removing the most offensive word out of our old name, Cru abbreviates it and makes it our whole identity.

This was my initial objection to the name. I've seen several blog posts (mostly by non-Cru staff) and have heard a lot of people say, "When someone asks me what Cru means, I'll just have to say 'it's short for Crusade' and then we'll be back to the same place we were before." I thought this, too. But guess what? No one asks that. I've been testing it out, and so far not a single person has asked me what Cru means when I say that I work with a non-profit called Cru. They don't care what it means. Cru might as well be semantically unrelated to our previous name for all anyone cares. People care about what an organization does for them, not what its name means. So, assuming our name doesn't scare people away, we're going to be fine. When I realized this, I felt better about the name.

2) People are going to be confused by our name and think of other things that sound like Cru.

It's true. A lot of people are going to think of this:

Wine critics are going to think of this:

Oh hey, that one's not half bad. I suppose some people will think of this:

Okay, yes. It's going to be annoying how often we're going to get confused with rowing teams. And yes, it's going to be frustrating to occasionally hear jokes about vineyards and wine bars. I'm guessing we'll rarely hear  about Latin pop, but what do I know? Maybe it will be constant.

On the other hand, we won't get confused with this anymore:

Or this:

Let's keep the drawbacks in perspective, shall we?

3) Please oh please tell me that there aren't going to be constant Cru puns.

But there are. I've already seen "famous" Cru staff being called "Crulebrities." I'm sure we're going to hear about Cru Cuts (a movie ministry, maybe?), a submarine Cru, comparisons to Cru-ella DeVille by the critics. I'm sure there will be other, more creative (cruative?) puns to come.

I don't see much of an up side to this. Unless you happen to like puns, in which case, you're welcome.

4) The response of some Christians makes us all look ridiculous.

I debated whether to include this one. In the end I decided to include it because I think it's true, and I'm trying to be honest here.

This isn't really the name's fault, but the response in some quarters to the name change has made Christians look unintelligent, petty, and like they are people with a shallow belief system. I'm not saying they ARE those things, but that's the impression they give. A couple quick points on this:

* When someone says "dropping Christ from your name is evidence of dropping Christ" outsiders look at them and think, "Wow, their faith is shallow." If changing the name of your organization threatens your commitment to the things the organization stands for, then you have to wonder if you were committed in the first place. It also just seems silly given that the SAME PEOPLE go to churches without Christ in the name. "Oh, but it's dropping the name Christ that's wrong." Really? Is there a rule book somewhere about these things that I missed? If that's true, then the converse would be true, right? It would be superior to ADD Christ into the name of other organizations. If a single church or organization added Christ into their name in response to our name change, I would be amazed and actually respect that. But that's not going to happen.

* The people who say they think the change is "politically correct" reveal what appears to be a politically motivated faith. Cru doesn't make decisions based on politics. Ever. We don't back certain politicians or bills or laws. It is disconcerting how many Christians are watching our name change through a political lens, saying things about how it's evidence we're losing the culture war, etc, etc. It's simply not something we consider. Our organization exists to tell people about Christ, not to win at politics.

* Non-Christians watch the whole conversation with confused uncertainty. Things I've heard from them:
"Why are Christians attacking you for making your name less offensive? Do they want to offend people?"
"Do all Christians form their opinions by watching Fox News?"
"Why are people accusing your leadership of lying about why the name is changing?"
"Do Christians really think they can tell another person's motives and whether they're good or not without talking to those people?"

"Why isn't it sufficient that you have a cross in the logo? Doesn't that show a commitment to Christ?"

The problem is not so much the positions being taken (that's fine if that's your opinion), but the shrill, hysterical tone taken on by many. It's refreshing when someone comes to us with an honest question about things, instead of shouting THIS IS EVIDENCE OF YOUR APOSTASY. Yes, some people have said that. Oy vey, Christians, pull it together.

5) Loss of financial support.

Whatever name we changed to, the experts told us to expect a short term drop in financial support for the organization. This is because change is hard, and people use the change as a reason to move on. It doesn't matter if we had changed our name to "God's Knights" or "Christ Christ for Christ" this would still be the situation.

However, in light of the fact that we believe this change will widen the population of people who will hear the gospel from us, this is an acceptable loss. I'm proud of our leadership, actually, for making a decision that goes against the "bottom line." It's tempting to make decisions based on our finances, and I think it's amazing that our leadership made a decision based not on money but on effectiveness and potential for spreading the good news about Jesus Christ.

So, in conclusion: there are some real disadvantages to the new name. I honestly believe they are lesser disadvantages than our previous name had, and that many of these current difficulties can be overcome or lived with.

While I was writing this post I got a note from a friend on facebook who said this:

Matt, I have been a Young Life staff/volunteer/supporter for over 40 years. While YL may be a bit more descriptive than "CRU", it's not definitive. Often mistaken for a Life Ins. Co.. The strength is in the work! You and your counterparts in "CRU" will continue to make the work of Christ first and foremost. God and your good efforts will make the name "CRU" shine as a beacon for Christ. Bless you all!!!

That's a good reminder of what matters most... continuing to make the work of Christ first and foremost. I pray that will be true for all followers of Christ (regardless of the names of our organizations!).

Previous posts on this topic: 

* Cru: a name "without meaning"

* The criteria we used in the name change process and why they matter.

* Name change overview 

Day Twenty-Nine: No good reason to fast other than obedience

Today at the office, Bethany and Jesse asked if I was dieting or something. I told them about the fast and they asked the dreaded "why" question. I told them that I had “no good reason other than God told me” to fast. Which is true. I can't imagine a good reason to do this other than obedience.

I'm so tired... just making these notes of the fast seems like a monumental task.

I’m starting to wonder if anything of any real significance will come out of this time (i.e. a change, something different, God speaking more than he would speak on an ordinary day of interaction…). We’re running out of days. Tomorrow will be THREE FOURTHS of the way through. Crazy.

Cru: a name "without meaning" and why that's (potentially) a good thing

Hey, kids, it's time for a multiple choice quiz. Here's your question: What does "Qdoba" mean?

A) It's an Aztec word meaning "womanly."

B) It's a shortening of the Spanish phrase "Que Adoba?" which means "What is that marinated in?"

C) It's a word that sounds like Spanish but really isn't, just like the food appears to be Mexican, but really isn't.

D) It means fast, friendly, fresh.

The answer, dear readers, is at the end of this post.

One of the common questions people have asked about the Campus Crusade for Christ name change is "What does 'Cru' mean?"

Now, obviously, for those of us who have been around and know where the name comes from, it's an abbreviation of the word Crusade from our current name (more on that tomorrow, in the post "Terrible, Horrible Things About Our New Name and Why We Still Chose This One"). But a lot of people seem concerned that they will be having conversations like this:

Me: Hi. I work with a Christian non-profit organization called "Cru."

Other guy: Oh yeah? What does 'Cru' mean?

Me: I have no idea.

Other guy: Really?

Me: Well, um, it's a sort of shortened version of the word Crusade.

Other guy: Uhhhhhh....

Me: Because 'Cru' is a way for me to downplay that my group was originally called Campus Crusade for Christ.

Other guy: You're creepy.

Me: I know. But do you want to hear about Jesus? He can totally protect you from creepy people.

What does "3M" mean?

To which I can only say, I doubt it. You're not going to have this conversation, and neither am I. At least, not very often. Let's face it, we have a very high tolerance for ambiguity and lack of meaning in our language. If you disagree, I would merely point out how many times you've used Scotch Tape without considering what it means. Duct tape, electrical tape, masking tape... these all have relatively straightforward clues as to their intended use in their names. But what about SCOTCH tape? Is it for use on alcoholic beverages? For laying out hopscotch boards? Or could it be a racist crack against Scotsmen? (Now that you're wondering for the first time in your life, here's what Scotch Tape means.) We rarely ask what things mean, preferring to know what they do. This is a far more likely conversation:

Me: Hi. I work with a Christian non-profit organization called "Cru."

Other guy: Oh yeah? What do you do?

Our previous name was a highly descriptive and concrete name. The name (originally) represented who we were and what we did. Namely, Campus (we work with college students) Crusade (we don't just "work" on campus actually, we have a cause, a mission on the campus) for Christ (the person and reason we work with college students). Over the last 60 years two things changed: our organization expanded, so that many of our staff don't work on campus, and the semantic range of the word "crusade" narrowed (at least in common usage) so that our name no longer describes us accurately. To most people who hear our name now it says Campus (our organization is only relevant to college students) Crusade (we will kill you in a religious war) for Christ (for Jesus).

Now, we didn't enter into the name change process having decided to choose a more abstract name. In fact, in the over 1,600 names we considered, there were many, many names that were descriptive. There's nothing wrong with choosing descriptive over abstract.

Take, for instance, two Seattle brands: Starbucks and Seattle's Best Coffee. Remember the first time you went to Starbucks? There's no doubt what Seattle's Best Coffee serves. Starbucks, on the other hand... WHAT DOES IT MEAN? I would guess, for most of us, we've attached our own meaning to it. Very few of us walk into the store and think, Ah, their name is a reference to the first mate of the Pequod, although in the plural rather than possessive. Ahoy! A cup of coffee, matey! No, we have an emotional reaction to the name. Starbucks hopes it's one that has something to do with rest, relaxation, a nice place to hang out and enjoy a beverage or have a conversation.

Lots of organizations have these names that don't precisely explain who they are or what they do: Google, Starbucks, Apple, Chevron, Twitter. Part of the reason Campus Crusade for Christ chose to move away from a more descriptive/concrete name was to allow us to have a shot at influencing people's opinion of the organization by way of their experience rather than their opinion about what our name describes.

So, the hope is that having a more abstract name will allow us to infuse the name with meaning ourselves, much as Starbucks or Qdoba or Google has done with their names. The exciting thing about this is that it will force people to look at our organization rather than our history (good or bad). People will look at their own experience with us rather than their expectations of what we should be (or what we were in the 1970s). The potential drawback to this is that people will see us for what we are. So, if we're not living up to our mission, if we're not following through on our promises to our people, if we're not the cutting edge organization that's committed to the Great Commission, that will be obvious and leave us with a poor reputation. I, for one, am proud of Cru and the things we've done in the last ten years, so I'm confident that when people look at us they'll see something attractive, something they want to be a part of.

By the way, this is why we decided not to make "Cru" an acronym... adding an acronym moves us toward descriptive again, whether it's "Community, Real life change, Uncommon opportunities" or "Christians Really Understand" or (my personal favorite via Chris Zaugg) "Christ Reaching Uthers." We don't want to tell people who we are anymore, we want to show them with our actions.

I hope you like what you see!


Qdoba answer: No one knows what Qdoba means. It's not Spanish. I sent a note to Qdoba a few days ago and haven't heard back from them yet!


Previous posts on this topic: 


* The criteria we used in the name change process and why they matter.
* Name change overview

Fasting Day Twenty-Eight:A fully developed fantasy life

Does this look like something you
should be putting in your body?

I woke up and drank some fruit juice this morning (the V8 juice I’ve been drinking since day one, and it tasted really weird and not good for some reason). It tasted way sweeter than I was used to, which was weird because I didn’t really remember it being so sweet, but it had been a while since I had drank any, so I thought maybe it just seemed really sweet compared to grape juice or something. But there was this weird aftertaste. Then my wife pointed out that I had accidentally bought a LIGHT version of the juice (it was only 50% juice it turns out) and that I had been drinking not only some sort of weird light version but also SUCRALOSE. Gross! I immediately recognized the after taste when she mentioned it. Of course it was the chemical aftertaste of sucralose. I was really bummed about it, and later in the morning I got a pretty bad stomach ache from it.

That's more like it!

Tonight I spent about 40 minutes looking through a Chinese cooking book, trying to find something I would enjoy eating. I think it's fair to say that I have a fully developed food fantasy life now. I hate to admit it, but Krista and I were watching "Master Chef" the whole time I was flipping through the cookbook. I find myself overly interested in what the amateur chefs are making, and, you know, most everything they make looks good in a sort of disinterested way. 

Anyway, I’m thinking about making the vegetable broth that’s in our Chinese cook book. But what I really want is the Shanghai style noodles. Mmmmmmm. Krista said she would be glad to eat lots of the meals in the cookbook if I cooked them.

We talked about Father’s Day, too, which will be one week before the end of my fast. Of course I won’t be able to eat, which totally derails the usual family plan (“take dad to eat where he wants to eat”). But Chinese food sounds so good… I wonder if I’ll be able to eat it soon after my fast, and if so how soon it will be!

Campus Crusade for Christ name change: The criteria we used and why they matter

Before you change your name, you need to know who you are. Most of us are given our names, and while a lot of parents give us a middle name to switch to, sometimes you can grow up feeling that your name has stopped representing who you are. That's how Richard Smith of Carlisle decided to change his name to "Stormhammer Deathclaw Firebrand" last May (I'm not joking... you can look him up).

Before we get to the criteria that Campus Crusade for Christ used during our renaming process, I thought it would be important to take a look at our "who we are" statement that we used to remind ourselves what we wanted people to know about who we are.

Here it is (all slides in this post are taken from this talk where Steve Sellers, CCC's vice president of the Americas, announced the name change):

In case you can't see the picture clearly, it says: WE ARE a caring community - passionate about connecting people to Jesus Christ - so they can experience Christ's life-changing presence and the opportunities to share Him with others.

Notice three main aspects of the statement above:

1) a caring community

2) connecting people to Christ/opportunities for others to share about him (evangelism remains a central part of what we do)

3) Life change. Campus Crusade for Christ has been and will continue to be about seeing people's lives transformed by the presence of Christ in their lives. As you can see, this continues to fit well with our mission and statement of faith.

A few news outlets chose to use our name change as an opportunity to manufacture controversy in the hopes of generating more traffic to their sites, but as you can clearly see in this "brand identity" slide, from the very beginning changing the name has been centered on the same values Campus Crusade for Christ was founded on.

Now, let's take a closer look at the criteria used in the naming concepts:

1. Can be used with the new brand strategy concepts. 

The "brand strategy concepts" could be a post all by itself, but basically it boils down to the brand identity above... that our name wouldn't conflict with our promise to be a caring community, to seek life change for people around us through connecting them to Christ, and that we would teach others to do the same.

For me, one of the saddest things from the research was when we'd hear a comment like, "I wish there was an organization that would care about me and help me to find answers to my spiritual questions." Our name prevented outsiders from seeing us that way... they saw us as a people with a cause who would treat them as something expendable. We wanted to make sure that our new name would allow people to look beyond that misconception and see that we would love them, connect them to Christ and teach them to do the same with others.

2. Leads to greater interest and encourages target audience to ask additional questions without being "overly religious."


For me, this boils down to the "airplane test." When Krista and I first joined staff with Campus Crusade for Christ, I was excited to tell people that I was a missionary (something we had been working toward for over a year). I remember being on the plane ride home, and the man next to me asked, "What's your business?" I told him that I was with a Christian non-profit called Campus Crusade for Christ and he immediately, without another word, turned away from me and held his newspaper up over his face. To my dismay, this was a common reaction... people would withdraw (often in a socially awkward or rude way) as soon as they heard our name.

Other staff I've spoken with have stopped using the name of the organization, at least in the early parts of a conversation. Many of us in the campus ministry say something like, "A Christian non-profit that works with college students." We do this not because we're ashamed of our name, but because we'd like to actually have a meaningful conversation with someone instead of being treated like a pariah.

I've been giving the new name the "airplane test" and here's how it plays:

Stranger: What do you do?

Me: I work with a Christian non-profit called "Cru."

Stranger: That's interesting. What does Cru do?

Aside from the unfortunate "Cru do" rhyme, I think we can all admit this is a great leap forward in keeping the conversation open and actually having a meaningful spiritual conversation.

3. Usable with all ministries and also allows for expansion over time.

One of the major drawbacks of our current name is the "campus" piece. While our ministry started on campus and the idea of "reach the campus today and the world tomorrow" continues to be central for us, God has blessed our ministry in allowing it to expand to many, many other places. The Jesus Film Project, for instance, is an important part of our ministry which is not well represented by the word campus. Our Military Ministry, Athletes in Action, Josh McDowell ministries, Family Life, Here's Life Inner City (and our ministries to professionals, politicians, the UN, Hollywood and so on) are all insufficiently represented in our current name. This creates a feeling of disassociation for many of our staff, who feel that the name doesn't include them, and creates confusion for outsiders, who don't realize that our organization has many ministries that aren't focused on college students. Our new name needed to be inclusive of all we currently do and flexible enough to allow us to expand in the future.

4. Taps into Campus Crusade's existing brand equities.

There are some really great things about our current name, and there are some great connections to our ministries which we don't want to lose. Our sixty year history of service is not something we want to lose, so if there was a name which somehow connected to our heritage, we wanted to make sure it had a leg up on the competition (when we look at names later this week you'll see how this played out).

5. Is uniquely ownable.

There was one name I really liked that we couldn't use because there's an organization of 50 who already use the name. Could we have bought it from them? Steamrolled them because we're a bigger organization? Sure, we probably could have. But it didn't seem like it was the best route. Likewise, one of the the early ideas I was really fond of was using "Life" in all our names... we already have Family Life and Here's Life Inner City, and in Australia our campus ministry is called Campus Life (EDIT: Actually, it's called Student Life. Campus Life is yet another organization). Our other ministries could have gone that way also... Military Life, Hollywood Life, whatever. The only real problem is our friends in Young Life. We get confused for one another already, and taking a name so close to theirs would only add to the confusion and frustration.

Add to that the fact that people have been trying to think up names for their Christian organizations for about 2,000 years and you start to realize how many names have been "taken" and how even the most original names are echoes or repeats or semantically close to others that are already out there.

So, there you have it... five criteria we used in the naming process. Tomorrow we'll talk about something that's been creating a decent amount of conversation within the ministry. Cru: why did we choose a name "without any meaning"? 

In the meantime... what do you think of the five criteria? Would you have added any? Dropped any? Any questions about the criteria and how they effected our name change or process?

Fasting Day Twenty-Seven: Losing Hope

Starting to re-think the
"fruit juice only"diet.

Reminder: these posts aren't in real time. My fast is over, all is well, I am healthy and doing fine. But that's not how I felt on day 27 of the fast....

Today was the worst I've felt in a long, long time. I felt terrible today. Nothing felt good. I woke up feeling unpleasant, and was immediately unhappy with the people around me (which meant, of course, my family). I lacked any strength whatsoever, and the thought of taking an extra step or reaching across a table made me feel a fatigue bordering on despair. 

On the way to school the kids and I basically inherited a little lost kitten, which in some ways made the day better in that I stayed home trying to find the kitten’s home instead of going to work. But I slept HARD when the baby went down for her nap and woke not feeling well.

I told Krista tonight that I had felt awful all day and she said, “you look awful” and that I was starting to look “a little bony.” We’re headed into that unhealthy look now… and almost two weeks still to go. Fasting doesn't feel like something helpful, or spiritually enhancing, or healthy or useful today. It feels like something dangerous. It feels like lying still in bed and wondering what it would be like to never have to get up.

Fasting Day Twenty-Six: A feast during the fast

Mmmmm, salmon!

Today’s big event is a bbq for Nurse Shasta and her nephew Jacob who has come to visit her. I’m basically in charge of dinner, and we’ve bought fresh rogue river copper salmon and it’s red and gorgeous, and fresh snap peas from the farmer’s market and we’re making risotto and then for dessert it will be Oregon strawberries and fresh cooked short bread cookies. It’s going to be an amazing meal, and I’m really excited for it, even though I don’t get to eat it! I’m looking forward to everyone else enjoying it.

Today at the grocery, I felt really terrible for a minute… I wasn't sure I was going to make it out of the store. I had to lean up against cart and use it to stand. I felt really weak and awful, but it passed in a few moments....