Here I am. awake in the middle of the night, and I decided to check my Amazon rating for my new book, because that is what authors do... obsess over their Amazon ratings like drug-addled test monkeys pushing the refresh button over and over and hoping for hits. And guess what? Thanks to those of you who bought the book late last night, the book hit the top of Amazon's Christian science fiction and fantasy list! Cool! Here's a screen shot:
As you can see, we're beating out those Christian spec fic classics, The Greek Myths by Robert Graves and America By Heart by Sarah Palin.
Yeah, okay, the Amazon categories are a little loose.
But, just for fun, let's pretend that Graves and Palin wrote Christian science fiction and fantasy. Using the titles "THE GREEK MYTHS" and "AMERICA BY HEART" come up with a synopsis (the "back of the book" description of the novels) for one or both in the comments.
My favorite comment wins a signed copy of my book.
Go on, now, get to work.
That's pretty funny. Gotta love those Amazon quirks.ReplyDelete
Here's my synopsis of "America by Heart":
World War III has finally happened. The Earth is in shambles – countries, peoples and cultures trying to rise out of the rubble to re-build. Determined not to let the founding principles of America die, a motley crew of Christians has pitted themselves against the dark forces that threaten to build America in a new image. Under the instruction of a prophet and led by a renowned historian, this small band of believers seeks the only weapons that can save America – artifacts of her past that have survived the apocalypse and when brought together will have the power to defeat the enemy. And what of the small tagalong boy who doesn’t speak except to recite old founding documents and patriotic songs? Some have their doubts, but the prophet knows the boy will have some part to play before the end.
Considering the time period of history that the Greeks were forced to live in by the temporal realities of when they were born, it was inevitable that they would myth out on so much of the modern amenities of life and leisure. This, of course, leaves one wondering what the world would be like if the Greeks had not mythed out on so much. And so, with these startling questions in mind, author Robert Graves offers his alternative history take on what would have happened if the Greeks had access to the internet, credit cards and the National Enquirer. With mesmerizing prose and pithy humor, THE GREEK MYTHS show us what the world might look like today if the Greeks had not mythed out on so much of what modern man depends on for daily life. How might it have influenced the Greek philosophers? What impact would it have had on the shaping of the nations? Would they have thought up Facebook? All of these intriguing questions, and many more, are answered with this thoughtful, exciting sci-fi romp through an alternative history, where the Greeks did not myth out on the amazing advantages the modern world has to offer.ReplyDelete
America is heating up both metaphorically and literally. The heat was making everyone cranky but none more than the politicians. In a final act of desperation, they agreed to part ways through galactic expansion. The right wing conservatives would pilot the newly renewed NASA program right into their new Venutian colony called "Republicanland." And the liberal left would stick it out on Earth, determined to patch the hole in the ozone. It was the perfect bipartisan compromise so what could possibly go wrong?ReplyDelete
Excerpt: "The myth of global warming sure seemed real as the temperature in Alaska rose to a balmy 116. In December. At 8am. Sarah blew at her bangs which clung stubbornly to her forehead and cursed Al Gore under her breath. 'In just two short days, I won't have to think about those crazy liberals anymore,' she thought. 'They can have this ancient, outdated firey ball.' Republicanland would be all that they had promised the American people. The heart of this great nation, transplanted to a temperature controlled biodome on Venus. An American utopia!"
The bears were back, in far greater numbers. Sarah had desperately called for help. Steven had warned her she was in immanent danger and should pack up and get out while the preverbal getting was good. She could still hear the concern in his voice when they last spoke, "Leave Sarah, leave now! Bear threat is nothing to trifle with!" Had she waited to late? Fear began to rise in her throat, but she would never give in to the bears! This was her America! Taking up her gun she prepares for the fight! With the taste of failing enamel on her tongue she silently begins to mouth the words of Reagan:ReplyDelete
Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the blood stream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for then to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it was once like in the United States when me were free.
"America By Heart"ReplyDelete
When Ryan Jameson sees the up and coming generation uninterested in Christianity, he decides to tackle an unreached people group that no missionary has yet spoken to: the people of the future. Ryan tries to preserve the gospel message by undergoing an experiment where he is cryogenetically frozen for 200 years. When Ryan awakes two centuries later and goes to check in on the progress of the American church, he finds the American church no longer exists...because the American empire fell in 2080. Feeling archaic and culturally irrelevant, Ryan teleports across the continents in search of a mission field where he can matter, and a church and a country he can call home. Through his journey, Ryan wrestles with God's purpose for his life, what it means to be a citizen of the United States, and what it means to be a citizen of Heaven.
This comment has been removed by the author.ReplyDelete
America by Heart, by Sarah PalinReplyDelete
Sarah Palin, after recently becoming the first female president of the United States, is captured by terrorizing aliens and threatened with instead vaporization. Her only hope is to keep the evil invaders entertained by all means necessary. To do so, she must tell the greatest story ever told, the story of America. Will she be able to save her skin, as well as the land she so dearly loves with the adventures of the greatest nation to ever exist? Read on as Sarah boldly tells the tale of America, by heart.
"Something went wrong in the lab today... something very wrong.”ReplyDelete
“Be afraid, be very afraid!” --Calliope
With a sudden jerk, Graves is startled awake as if from a trance, glancing up at the screen he sees the words and is puzzled. They seem familiar, but he can’t quite grasp where he has heard them? Was his computer trying to warn him of yet another impending disaster? He brushes the thought aside and heads to the kitchen for another cup of stale coffee. Long hours in front of an imperceptibly blinking screen have been known to play havoc with his mind from time to time, especially during the predawn hours. As he reaches for the pot he experiences the breath of a whisper moving past his ear carrying the name Melpomene. For a split second, just before his eyes close, he sees the mask....
Is Greek mythology complete...or have the characters simply been waiting, waiting for the final chapter of time to begin...
I own and have actually read Graves' mythology book in its entirety so I can testify that you're at least in good company there :)ReplyDelete
* instant vaporization. I hope I'm not docked for grammatical errors.ReplyDelete
The Greek Myth of America by HeartReplyDelete
By Sarah Palin and Robert Graves, with a special introduction by Gene Wolfe
Centaurs prowl Chicago. Satyrs congregate in Washington. Poisedon himself has been spotted tweaking the support structures of the Golden Gate Bridge. And only Rachel Lighten, a poor, middle-class teacher's daughter growing up in Sandpoint, Idaho, has any clue that things have gone wrong--or any hope how to rescue America from its descent into Graeco-Roman paganism.
Neil Gaiman "wanted to hate this book ... but couldn't tear my eyes away from its vivid interpolation of untranslated Greek character dialog and stream-of-consciousness Tea Party rants!" The ghost of Ayn Rand was summoned to comment that "this book is every bit as eloquent as the first sentence of Atlas Shrugged, yet its love-story plot moves with the primal energy of Twilight!" Barac Obama didn't say that "this book is a curse upon America," but we're including those words to make sure that you *know* it is controversial! If you've ever wanted to cheer for populist politics while furrowing your brow over the difficulties of the Greek aorist tense--this is the book for you.