This year, as a result of my lovely wife's genius brainstorm, my kids entered the Clark County Fair. My mom helped 7 year old A make pickles, pickled green beans and to sew a skirt. All three won blue ribbons, and the beans won Best In Class. Of course this means from now on, A will be wanting to practice her prairie home pickling skills once a year to gather more ribbons. Krista helped Z make brownies, and those won a blue ribbon, too. Now I just have to figure out what I am going to enter next year. I am thinking of crocheting a life-sized Millenium Falcon. I'll be asking for volunteers in the near future.
Carnies and Nausea.
Z wanted to try the Ferris Wheel, and A wanted to try every ride known to man... The Viper and Wheel of Fire and Super Shooter and so on. I went to buy tickets from the lady in the ticket booth (her front teeth were broken and looked very painful, and I could smell the smoke on her breath through the plexiglass). She looked down at A and then at me and asked, "Which ride are you gonna torture your Daddy on today, hon?
Without a pause she replied, "The Viper." The carny laughed a long, hacking cough and said with a voice filtered through decades of smoke and tar, "That one ain't too bad... until it starts going backward."
I will say here and now that I did not puke at the Fair. This was my achievement for the day and I trust that my blue ribbon is in the mail. The Viper certainly tried to destroy my record, and when we got off that one I felt nauseous and A said, "It looked much faster from the ground. I don't think it was fast enough."
We were turned away from Wheel of Fire because of A's height. Eventually we went on 1001 Nights, which is a big platform that rotates in high circles over and over until someone starts screaming to let him off, let him off, he's going to hurl. As we loaded ourselves into our seats (I was somehow smacked in the head by the bar) the woman next to us asked A if she was scared. A assured the lady there was no need to be scared, that it would be slower than it looked from the ground. She liked the ride a great deal and when it started doing stomach-dropping lurches, A started laughing and shouting, "MY TUMMY FEEL SO TICKLY!" Yes, the little daredevil is ready for an amusement park.
My Mom had walked the Fair with the baby, Krista with Z, and me and A dominating all the carny rides. When we got home I was sunburned and nauseous. I debated seriously whether to rest in my hammock and eventually decided it was not a stable enough place to lay.
Pictures coming soon over at Krista's blog....
Wow, It sounds like you all just jumped out of a Garrison Keillor radio show! I am very impressed and commend the Mikalatos women for their blue ribbon wins--a clean sweap it sounds! :)ReplyDelete
Perhaps Matt ought to start training now making pickled Jar Jar Binks for next year?! :D
Matt, the real reason you did not barf at the county fair? Apparently you didn't try the deep fried bologna or the deep fried cheesecake on a stick. I double dog dare you next time.ReplyDelete
Ugh. E, I think that could make me barf for sure. But I will take your dare. I think the last time I ate bologna I was ten years old, five feet tall and 800 pounds. Blech.ReplyDelete