Friday, June 11, 2010

Oh, Denver International Airport... I don't know whether to thank you or shame you.

I was disturbed last week when I arrived at the Denver International baggage claim and looked out the window to see a 26 foot tall statue of Anubis, Egyptian god of the dead towering over me.  It was, to say the least, creepy.


Why would any airport desire to have a god of death keeping watch over the airport?  Is the murderous blue stallion with glowing red eyes not enough?

A little research revealed that the reason for inviting the god of death to watch over the airport had to do with a museum exhibit of King Tut coming to town:

I still think it's creepy.

A little more digging revealed that there is an entire population of people who believe that the Denver airport is some sort of conspiracy theory Temple built by the Masons or the Illuminati or some other secret cabal bent on world domination or world destruction or saving the world or something else having to do with the world.

As I started researching more, I started to realize that DIA is, in fact, creating a living theatre version of LOST.  Airplanes.  Mysterious underground electromagnetic forces. Strange Egyptian statues.

If only there was a black smoke monster.  Oh wait.  There was.

DIA.  It is dumb to put a statue of the god of death overlooking your airport.  I know you don't think it has any power or symbolism in the 21st century, but you are wrong. 

Simultaneously, I would like to thank you for bringing LOST to life for me again.  If you could have somehow made all the actors from the show be returning from Hawaii on my plane, that would have been awesome and would have really completed the illusion.  You officially win the Creepiest Airport Reward.

I do have a TSA story from my flight home through DIA.  It involves a seeing eye dog, a full body scan and a very, very long line.  But that is a story for another night.

Good night, internet.