Rent awful movies that she doesn't want to watch.
This is a tradition dating back to the first years of our marriage. If Krista is out of town, I dredge up whatever movies I've been waiting around to see and watch them while eating some sort of snack I wouldn't eat in front of her. Like, I don't know, cold spaghetti sauce or something. I discover later that (a) I have lost my taste for the movies that she doesn't want to see and (b) I still like the taste of my snacks.
Tonight's movie: The Departed.
Reason Wife Will Not Watch: Ridiculous Levels of Violence.
Tonight's Snack of Choice: Tina's Burrito (Red Hot Spicy Beef flavor)
Predictions Regarding Movie: I will enjoy it. I will find the ridiculous levels of violence excessive. I will wish that I saw it on an airplane.