Thursday, May 27, 2010

Better, Stronger, Faster

I am slowly getting back into jogging and exercise.  When I started I could barely breathe.  I mean, six steps of jogging would be followed by about six minutes of pep talk about, "You're not going to pass out, Mikalatos!  Because if you do there are wild dogs in this neighborhood which would eat your fingers off!"

But I am getting stronger.  As someone who has never exercised much, I'm always amazed by the physiological changes as I start getting more time exercising.  It increases my mental energy, and my interest for new topics is piqued.  I find it relatively easy to think and have deep prayer times while running, which in turn creates a deeper desire for spiritual health. I am more thankful for simple things.  Like oxygen.  And the smell of antique roses in the rain.  My thought processes seem to expand (not that they're ever particularly contained) and I see strange connections I hadn't noticed before.  I feel more calm.  Also, I have an increasing desire to lay on the floor and concentrate on breathing and reminding myself that although my legs are complaining all the time, they are not the most important part of the body.  OBEY ME, LEGS!  Don't worry, I will master them eventually.

Also getting stronger... my smell.  Man, when I run I create an impervious wall of scent.  If some gang of men were to come against me and raise their fists to me I would have only to raise my own fists and they would be down for the count.  When the police found them, the detectives would say, "It appears that they were struck down by a semi hauling a giant container of musk."  That's right.  Musk.

And now you are wishing you had stopped a paragraph ago.  But that is the sort of discipline you can gain only through regular exercise.  I know for me personally, I never read more than one paragraph or a blog,  sixteen words of any given e-mail, and 97 characters of anything written on twitter. I will share more about that some other time.  In the meantime, you should know that soon I will be appearing in body building magazines, and I didn't want you to be shocked by the transformation. Just yesterday I couldn't find my car keys and had to lift and move my car out of the driveway.  I mean, it's only a compact, but I suspect I'll be moving the van within a few months.

Signed,

Steve Austin