Sunday, October 10, 2010

The Traditional Airport Post: THE BAND HOUR

It's an early morning flight, and that means that the airplanes are all full of amateur musicians for some reason.  I saw a guy who looked like Sting but was probably ten years older than Sting, and the guy next to me right now has skinny jeans, a guitar and a girlfriend. 

On the other side of me is a trio of revelers talking about the party last night which involved a great deal of heavy drinking, people falling down and a trip to the hospital, where someone was told that they had "minor bruising" which led to a great deal of cursing and paranoid accusations of the medical industry not acknowledging the pain of others.  From the pained looks, drawn faces and pale, sickly complexions of those around me I'm guessing that the entire plane has a hangover.  Not me, of course, I'm fresh as a daisy.  Possibly fresher than a daisy depending on the daisy.

Also, while walking through security I was stopped by the woman on the other side of the magic metal-detecting doorway, when she asked to see the other side of my face so she could look at my (non-existant) ear piece/bluetooth.  She laughed and said she had imagined it and just wanted to spend another thirty seconds with me, which made me wonder several things... if my earpiece doesn't set off a metal detector, why would they do a special check of it?  What if the same earpiece was in my pocket?  Is there anything more annoying than those people who walk around with an earpiece in all the time, as if they want you to know that it could be any second that they would need to ditch you and talk to the air?  I'm seriously asking: is there anything more annoying than that?

The answer is yes.  There are things more annoying than that.  It's annoying, certainly.  But not as annoying as, say, a rat nesting in your sweaters.  Or someone stealing your spare tire.  Or discovering that a pig has built an underground house beneath your house and has told a wolf that he lives at your house, so the wolf keeps knocking on your door and breathing on your house. 

Aha.  You have been saved by the bell.  My flight is boarding.  Hasta la vista, amigos.

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