The Burning Hearts Revolution

Ha ha ha ha... stupid vampires! Audi always wins.

2012-01-28T08:02:00.000-08:00

SAVE FERRIS!

2012-01-27T09:55:00.001-08:00

This is weird, I know, but here's a teaser for a Super Bowl advertisement, in which Matthew Broderick plays FERRIS BUELLER once again.Supposedly (*SPOILER*... can you have spoilers for a television commercial?), the advertisement is a Honda ad, in which all the events of Ferris Bueller's Day Off are re-examined, replacing all the cars with Hondas. Which sounds like a minute or so of good times. But, more importantly... could this mean that the long-rumored Ferris Bueller sequel might be in the works? I hope so.Since we can't be sure, be sure to enjoy this clip of the original:

Tyndale Podcast with Very Special Guest Star MATT MIKALATOS, the author of My Imaginary Jesus and Night of the Living Dead Christian

2012-01-26T19:52:00.000-08:00

Tyndale House publishers released their first (highly experimental) podcast, with a special guest star who knows more about my books and me than pretty much anyone else on the entire earth: me!

The interviewer is none other than Adam Sabados, the infamous "just some guy" who wrote that Imaginary Jesus made him laugh so hard that milk came out his nose even though he wasn't drinking any.

You can listen to the podcast here.

At the Mercy Centre in Bangkok

2012-01-21T07:41:00.000-08:00

Krista and I went to the Mercy Centre in Bangkok today. I have lots of thoughts and a couple of pictures to share with you in the near future, but for today just wanted to let you know that we had gone there and had a great time talking with Father Joe and some other new friends during our time there. We also attended mass with the "Mercy Kids" (in Thai, of course), which was all translated for us by a young woman who graduated college from Westminster College... she grew up at Mercy, but has gone on to become a college graduate. A dream, she said, that is available to any kid at Mercy if they're willing to take it.

HOW MANY SONGS DOES THAT THING HOLD?

2012-01-19T07:21:00.000-08:00

The incomparable John Scalzi posted this, and it made me laugh and think of my kids.

Wonderful Wednesday: Cats

2012-01-18T06:57:00.000-08:00

I let my kids get a cat. Her name is Her Majesty Princess Amber. I am looking forward to making some videos like this:

Ahhhhhhhh, Thailand!

2012-01-18T02:49:00.000-08:00

Things are going well in Thailand. Krista did a great job teaching yesterday... she was really relaxed and funny and brought great insights to the scripture she looked at, encouraging everyone to work hard at preserving the bonds of peace on their teams.

Today has been a day off, which is pretty nice. We walked on the beach, went swimming and Krista went to get a massage. Tonight we're off to the night market, which should be fun. I'm planning to gorge on mango sticky rice. Right now some of my guys are sitting across from me eating roti, which I also like but without banana hopefully.

Tomorrow Krista and I both teach, which will be fun. She's teaching about Elisha and his interactions with a widow whose son died and she has already shared some great insights with me. I'm looking forward to hearing it. And I'll be teaching about evangelism... sharing experience, thoughts from scripture, common misconceptions and some thoughts on how to do well in this area the rest of the year.

We're missing the kids... lots of good memories with them and our parents here. And of course, we're especially missing all of you. Come to Thailand and hang out with us.

Guest post from Ryan Cleveland: How to Hide Mt. Everest: a Diary of a 300 pound Pastor (sort of)

2012-01-17T06:10:00.000-08:00

Last week we heard from Gary Thomas, who told the story of a 300 pound pastor figuring out his need to lose weight if he was going to minister well. My good friend, Ryan Cleveland, dropped me a note about it and we started talking back and forth and I thought, "Ryan has some good thoughts here, I'd love to have him share this with the gang at my blog." I asked him if he would be willing to do a guest post, and he graciously agreed. I love Ryan. He's a great man who stands by his convictions, has a deep andy growing relationship with Christ and isn't afraid to sit and talk with me about Green Lantern, comic books and movies. I feel certain you will enjoy Ryan's heartfelt and vulnerable post. You can learn more about Ryan's ministry here, or follow him on Twitter.

After waking up early this morning (thanks kids) I picked up my Blackberry (it’s a smartphone…used to be popular in Moses’ day) and checked my twitter app, and I saw a link to Gary Thomas’ guest post on Matt Mikalatos’ blog entitled, “The 300 pound Pastor.”

My heart sank.

As a missionary who currently weighs 330 pounds, I had several thoughts go immediately through my mind. Did Gary come down with an acute case of fataphobia? Did Matt betray me? (For I had recently shared with him and others about my struggles with my weight.) But really the thought and emotion that came out on top was despair. Not again.

But because of some recent victories in my life, I felt like I was in a place to share about my own journey and struggle with my weight, and was happy to take the opportunity to post on Matt’s blog.

How to Hide Mt. Everest

Over the years, I have developed a highly scientific and effective tool to deal with my insecurity about my weight. I hide it. Yes, you heard me. HIDE IT! How do you hide that mini-Mt. Everest you are carrying around your waist, you ask? The only way I can—humor. By making jokes about my size, I am trying to seize control of the situation. I do this in many areas of my life. I can get up on a stage and be a goofball as long as it is my idea. Try and force me, and I run like Carl Lewis. In fact I remember having to get on a stage at a conference with some fellow team leaders a few years ago. Part of the act was to wear white T-Shirts. I didn’t have one and was lent one from someone else, a 180 pound someone else. I was at the verge of tears when I took control, and started making jokes and acted like a fool. Everyone laughed just as they should. If you know someone who seems to make light of their weight, it may very well be their desperate way of coping with their fears and insecurity.

Seeking a Better Reputation

For pastors and other spiritual leaders, being obese bodes a problem because we are God’s stewards of hope for betterment in the lives of those entrusted to us, and we run (okay maybe not “run”) in to the problem of hypocrisy. But is it hypocrisy? If we broaden our spiritual walk with God to an all or nothing thing, then an obese pastor preaching “God’s good, you’re not, do better” has a credibility problem. A pastor who preaches “we all have things that we struggle with; some of us have things that are visible, others invisible, let’s go on that journey together can do so and maintain his credibility because I believe that to be the biblical message behind true spiritual growth and development.

I appreciated Gary’s thought that we should not choose leaders by BMI, but I wonder if that is exactly the message we unintentionally reinforce when we talk about other people’s weight and how it damages their reputation. As an overweight person I have heard this often, and there is no question that people often evaluate me in light (yeah, I said “light”) of my weight. I think there may be a slippery slope at play here. Our culture likes pretty skinny people. We are enamored with them. I can lose 100 pounds, but can’t make my face any prettier. Trust me on that one, not unless I got some handy dandy plastic surgery. So here is my question, “Should I get surgery to make my face look “better” so people would be more apt to listen to what I have to say about Jesus?” Of course not. But even discussing the idea of "lose weight, gain reputation" seems off to me. That feeds my insecurity and is super demotivating, and I wonder if it unintentionally feeds our culture’s thoughts on image. For women, this takes on a whole new direction of eating disorders and depression, reinforced by our culture’s absolute right and wrong view of our bodies. As much as I don’t like it though, image does affect reputation. But should it? I wonder. I wear a suit when I perform a wedding ceremony and I don’t feel bad about that. Splitting this hair is most challenging for sure.

The Mirror Never Lies

There is something you need to know about your overweight friend, and especially your overweight pastor or Christian leader. They know they are overweight, and more importantly they know you know it, and it likely terrifies them. About a year and a half ago, I was speaking at my church about our most recent summer mission trip. After I was done, I left the stage and was heading down the aisle to my seat and a gentleman whom I had never met before grabbed my hand and stopped me, pulled me close and said, “Great testimony. But from one brother to another, you really need to lose a lot of weight.” I said “thank you” and walked away. But in my mind I was thinking, “Yes, I have a mirror at home and I am not an idiot.” My interaction with this man just reinforced my belief that everyone who meets me thinks, “he just doesn’t take care of himself, tsk, tsk, tsk." And when I encounter those people, I franticly tell them about hypothyroid disease, and how my mom gave it to me because I did not eat beets growing up, etc., and therefore I am not 100% at fault, and then they have sympathy for me and all is good again. An obese person looks in the mirror as little as possible, and can be undone when others decide they need to be a mirror for them in such a way. They need a different kind of mirror.

Hearing the Truth in Love

Nate, a friend of mine I worked with a few years ago sat me down to talk to me about my weight and getting in the gym. He didn’t care about how I got fat, or what my reputation was. He cared about me and offered to be a friend along the journey. That was incredibly motivating for me, though it was still incredibly hard to hear. Please don’t ever tell an obese person you care about their reputation or credibility (even if you believe it to be true). Tell them you care about them. Check to see if there is a deep love for that person that is driving you speak the truth to them about their health. The conversation will be hard, but that is okay. Love and empathy cannot be faked.

Why I disagree with Gary, but he is still right

Though I may think differently about some of the premises in Gary’s blog post (I guess I need to read his book now), he is absolutely dead on in his conclusion. Fat preachers need to lose weight. But it has to be for the right reasons.I want to lose weight for the Lord because I am convinced he wants me to. I want to lose weight for my family because I want to be able to live a long life with them instead of dying of a heart attack in five years. I want to lose weight to gain victory over something that owns me unnecessarily and fully enjoy any blessings God in His grace might send my way. Because the truth is right now I can’t. I miss out on so many things because of my health.

Time to lose some weight. Time to go climb Mt. Everest.

P.S. I have read a lot of books on marriage. Some of them can be pretty bad to be honest. Men, if you want to find a good book on marriage, ask your wife. My wife loved “Sacred Marriage” by Gary Thomas.” Another book I actually have not read—okay Gary, will read Sacred Marriage ASAP!

Canada!

2012-01-14T09:26:00.000-08:00

Krista and I are safely in Canada, and have walked through the majestic halls of customs, where two tireless employees vetted about three hundred of us. We have passed an indoor waterfall. We have gazed upon a really cool fish tank which is in the food court. We have also passed the gatekeeper of the Star Alliance Gold Lounge, and now we are feasting upon cold cereal and Krista is drinking coffee and we are using the free internet and looking down upon both the planes outside the airport and the people outside the lounge.

And I, determined to practice what I preach when I talk about "learning a new world" and "engaging in culture" have just eaten VECTOR* for breakfast. VECTOR* is a Canadian cereal (or rather a "meal replacement") designed for athletes (or something).

Here is what it is like: It's like someone took every "flake" style cereal and smashed them all together, and then sprinkled granola over the top. Then they thought, we don't want to be copying other cereals, so let's take out all the corn, so no one can say we ripped off corn flakes. Unlike some flakes, VECTOR* didn't taste like vitamins to me, possibly because it is packed full of different types of sugar and syrup and molasses. It takes some hard work to chew it, so that by the end of my small bowl I DID feel like I had chomped my way through a meal.

Okay! Only two hours before we depart on our next leg, headed to Hong Kong and then Thailand! Woo hoo!

*It is unclear why there is an asterisk.

We're on our way to Thailand!

2012-01-14T07:37:00.000-08:00

At THIS VERY MOMENT Krista and I are on our way to Bangkok, Thailand. The journey will take us to the far reaches of Canada, the beautiful city of Hong Kong and then on to Bangkok. All told, it will be about twenty hours from PDX to BKK.

As part of the Worldwide Student Network, part of our jobs is taking care of our overseas missionaries. For many of our international interns (called "STINTers" in house), we provide a once-a-year refresh/revitalize/redirect re-treat called a "Midyear." Because it falls in the middle of their internship year.

So, for the next week or so, Krista and I will be spending time with teams in four different overseas locations (three in Asia, one in the middle east), talking about their experience and helping them set up to spend the second half of their internship year well.

This year, Krista and I both will be the Bible teachers for the conference (every morning there's about a 30 minute Bible time). It's fun, we haven't been the co-teachers for a while, so it will be nice for both of us to teach together.

We may have internet access, but don't expect to hear from us too much, because we will also have mango-with-sticky-rice and tropical-ocean access.

But if you would like to imagine what time it is and what we might be up to, here is a little widget to tell you what time it is where we are:

Bangkok Time

See you soon!

I think I might need to turn the heat up in my house

2012-01-13T08:47:00.000-08:00

Can I get a blanket, Daddy?

Moonrise Kingdom is coming soon!

2012-01-13T05:20:00.000-08:00

I always enjoy Wes Anderson films. They're quirky and deep and painfully funny. So I'm pretty pleased that there's a new one coming out, which from the looks of the trailer will be pretty much everything you would generally expect from Wes Anderson. Should be fun!

Of Monsters and Men

2012-01-12T07:19:00.000-08:00

I stumbled across this band, Of Monsters and Men, on the radio this week and I thought you needed to meet them.

Anyone want to go to Iceland with me to catch a concert?

Wonderful Wednesday: my baby drinking coffee

2012-01-11T06:23:00.000-08:00

She's even cuter in person. And yes, apparently she prefers Peets.

The 300 Pound Pastor: Guest Post from theologian and author, Gary Thomas

2012-01-10T06:00:00.000-08:00

Today's guest post comes from Gary Thomas. Be sure to follow him on his Twitter feed. Before I met Gary, he had already had a profound impact on my life through his book, Sacred Marriage, which is the best, most helpful and practical marriage book I've read. I read through multiple of his other books and found them insightful, eye-opening and profound. Then I met Gary in person, when I took one of his seminary classes at Western Seminary. I was pleasantly surprised to find that Gary is not only insightful, but deeply spiritual and someone who practices what he preaches. Gary has consistently shown generosity, patience and kindness toward me, and his deep love for Christ is evident to anyone who has spent time with him. This post relates to his newest book, Every Body Matters: Strengthening Your Body to Strengthen Your Soul.Enjoy!

The 300 Pound Pastor

When MarkBejsovec, a youth pastor, saw the scale creep over 300 pounds, he gulped. During his high school football playing days,he carried just 186 pounds on his six-foot-two frame. In his early thirties, however, Mark startedgaining weight steadily. At first, he rationalized it and even began using itlike a tool. It made him seem funnier. He could push out his stomach until helooked like he was pregnant, and the kids in his ministry would laugh: “Youlook like you got twins!”

Whenhe hit 300 pounds, though, Mark began to sense God speaking to him about hisphysical condition.

“Ilooked into Scripture, specifically at the men in the Bible who assumedleadership roles, and wondered how they must have looked. I couldn’t find anyonein leadership who was overweight.”

Thiswasn’t about vanity, but rather about being a better steward of his body andhis calling: “If I was addressing only spiritual issues but not the physicalones, I considered I would be less useful to the Lord in my ministry. If I wasgoing to remain in ministry, I needed to honor God with all my heart, all mysoul, all my mind, and also all my body.”

Bydefinition, we can’t be a leader in secret. Somebody is following us. And thebodies we are leading with aren’t hidden.

Afriend of mine, who works as a senior director for a major Christiandevelopment organization, recently shared with me the battle he faces witheating and exercise. On a recentbusiness trip, he ate twenty-four restaurant meals in a row. He’s concernedabout his health habits, and like many, he lives with a constant sense offailure that he could be doing more about his weight. What he doesn’t see arespiritual leaders taking this struggle as seriously as he does. “We’ve been taught in the evangelicaltradition about adultery and lying and stealing and coveting,” he says, “andabout lust and alcoholism and smoking and drug abuse. But many evangelicalpastors who preach against these things are visibly overweight or obese. Idon’t say this to judge them—I struggle with the same thing. But sometimes Iwonder. Sure, they may have conquered the online porn, but it seems likethey’re ‘medicating’ with food; I get that, because I do the same thing.”

Forhis part, Mark decided to quit his former eating habits cold turkey. When hisweight started coming off, Mark experienced a rush of positive energy. “Istarted feeling more affirmed, my self-esteem went up, and my relationship withGod grew. It’s not that my previous life didn’t honor God, but now it felt likeI was living like God designed me to live.”

When Iasked Mark what changed most about his life since he lost seventy pounds, heresponded, “Let’s be honest: there were times I was discredited because of theway I looked. When I talked to kids about self-control in other areas, theycould look at me and understandably ask why I wasn’t addressing my issues with food. But now, when Ishare my story, there’s an added inspirational element. If I can do it, anyonecan do it, and my weight loss has become an effective tool in my ministry.”

As awriter whose most prominent books relate to marriage, I take it as a personalchallenge to maintain the integrity of my own marriage. I can’t write and teach on marriage if my ownis falling apart. As a pastor, however, whenI talk to the church about self-control; when I preach on the necessity ofpersonal discipline, good stewardship in all areas of life, and, above all,when I teach out of 1 Corinthians 6:20: “You are not your own;you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body” I am going tocompletely undercut my message if I’m preaching out of a body that denies this.

Itwould be convenient if being a leader didn’t require also being an example, butthat’s not the case. Paul writes,“Follow me as I follow Christ.” (1 Cor. 11:1)

Leaders,let’s ask ourselves, “Is my body serving or thwarting my message?” If you’re a pastor, you may well have acceptedfinancial sacrifice for the privilege of being in the ministry; if you’re aleader of any type, you have readily accepted the sacrifice of your time,tranquility, and even reputation, as leadership assaults all of these. But will you also accept bodily sacrifice—watching what you eat, and putting in the effortto get appropriate exercise? Will you recognize that the body out of which youlead can either support or undercut the message that you carry?

Iam not suggesting that we pickleaders by how thin they are, or that we make a direct connection between aperson’s BMI and his holiness. That would be ridiculous, ignorant, andunfair—some bodies aren’t designed to be thin, other bodies seem to naturallystay thin regardless of how they are cared for or fed, but leaders, we know our own journey, we know whetherthis area of stewardship is feeding or hindering our maturity and ministry.Don’t all of us feel better, stronger, more energetic, when we’re beingfaithful in this area? And don’t we allknow that there are negative consequences when we get careless?

So,in a spirit of encouragement and grace, let’s admit that this is something weneed to start talking about. Just as we seemed eager to denounce the opulentaffluence and money-raising scandals of the 1980s televangelists, let’s not beblind to our own contemporary challenges at the dawn of the 21^st century.

For moreon this topic, check out Gary’s book Every Body Matters: Strengthening Your Body to Strengthen Your Soul.

Happy Valentine's Day to Me

2012-01-09T06:09:00.000-08:00

My 2 year old (M) hardly ever says "I love you." I've heard it a handful of times, most often when I am leaving for work. Maybe once when I put her to bed. She'll repeat anything else I say, including a recent favorite, "HOW DARE YOU!" which is what I say to the kids when I'm pretending I'm upset with them.

But, this weekend Krista started to tell M all about Valentine's Day. She said, "Valentine's Day is a day when we tell each other how much we love each other and we eat cookies."

M looked over at me and with the sweetest little voice she said, "I love you, Daddy." It was the clearest I've ever heard her say it. Then she gave me a hug. Then she said it again. I couldn't believe it. I gave her a hug and told her I loved her, too.

Then she looked at her mom, and back to me.

She looked me right in the eye and said, "Cookie now? Where cookie?"

Sometimes when you wish for a ukelele you get what you wanted

2012-01-07T18:47:00.001-08:00

These guys are having a lot of fun covering Adele's "Someone Like You." Enjoy!

Via John Scalzi

Wonderful Wednesday: God Save the Queen

2012-01-04T08:46:00.001-08:00

My Aussie friend Steve, who lives abroad, sent me a note this morning and told me to check out the Queen's Christmas speech, saying, "It's a ripper!" It certainly is. NOTE: To all my American readership, that's not "My Country Tis of Thee" playing in the beginning. That's "God Save the Queen." Those darn colonials and their propaganda!

WHAM! presents, "Last Christmas"

2011-12-22T20:30:00.001-08:00

Today as we were driving in the car, Krista said, "This Wham! song is getting played constantly right now. Why is that?"

Because it is Wham!'s Christmas song, of course!

Here it is:

I am reminded now why we did not need bicycle helmets in the 80's. Our hair provided a cushion, softening the impact should our heads hit the ground. Beautiful.Anyway, this set Krista and I off on a tangent. What was the name of that other guy in Wham!? And what had happened to him? George Michael we know, but what became of (as Krista said) "that dark-haired guy"?

So, thankful for the powers of the internet, I set out tonight to learn more about That Dark-Haired Guy who was once part of Wham!

His name, my friends, is Andrew Ridgeley. And if you are too lazy to click on that link (not that I blame you for your laziness! This is the internet!) you will discover that Andrew (after a brief stint in Monaco as a Formula 3 race car driver) went on to eventually record a solo album, which wasn't received all that well, and now he spends much of his time in semi-retirement, playing golf and hanging out with his girlfriend, who is a member of the band Bananarama. So there you have it. He seems to be a rather nice guy.

Somehow, we never thought this would embarrass us.
It's a slogan for the entire decade of the 80's.

Dreams: The next Muppet movie

2011-12-21T08:06:00.000-08:00

Last week I had a series of dreams in which I was asked to write the next Muppet movie. Every time I woke up, I would think, That was a weird dream. Then I would go back to sleep and the dream would pick up where it left off.

It started with me being asked to write the movie after I somehow came across a group of men debating the plot at a coffee shop. They were so impressed with my input that they asked me to take over as head writer. I got the feeling that they didn't really want to write it, anyway, and they were glad to have someone else take over.

So, I started writing a story called "The Muppets: Going Home."

The story started with Gonzo finding an unhatched dinosaur egg in a cave. In New York City, of course.

There were quite a few vivid scenes. Here are some of my favorites:

1) Gonzo gets a time-travelling bicycle from Bunsen and Beaker so he can take the egg back in time to find its mommy and daddy. But because he gets tired while riding he often has to stop in different eras to catch his breath.

2) In the middle ages, a group of pigs steal the egg and Gonzo enlists the help of a bunch of birds to get it back, by launching the birds on a giant slingshot against the walls of the castle until it collapses.

3) Gonzo destroys his own timeline by releasing a particularly hungry carnivore back into the wild, which means that Gonzo returns to a bleak future. Determined to go back and convince himself not to hatch the egg, he goes back in time only to find hundreds of Gonzos from different timelines all trying to convince themselves to do different things, including "JUMP YOUR MOTORCYCLE OVER A POOL OF OATMEAL!"

4) In the earliest days of New York City, Gonzo meets Statler and Waldorf (the old men in the balcony) as young men. They are just as cranky and mean-spirited as youth as they will be as old men. Now that I'm awake I think this could be funnier if they were kind and encouraging as young men, always talking about how they wouldn't turn out like the old people around them.

Of course all the main Muppets appeared in the story one way or another. And there was a funny scene where Gonzo attached a bike cart to the time travelling bike and pedaled the entire cast into the past, straining to go fast enough to trigger the time travel device.

All in all, it was fine dream and was pretty much the equivalent of watching a Muppet movie that hasn't yet been made. So, my thanks to Mr. Sandman for the movie/dream. I hope you all get to see it one day.

Ridiculous Reviewers on Amazon: Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol

2011-12-20T20:26:00.000-08:00

Ahhhh, Christmas. The lights are lit, the bells are ringing, the children are singing, the average weight of adult Americans is creeping upward thanks to the cheery glow of the cookie-filled ovens. It's a wonderful time of year.

And, as if to make it more wonderful, it's time for another Ridiculous One Star Review from Amazon, these particular reviews for the holiday classic, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. For those who don't know, A Christmas Carol is the story of a miserly businessman who receives four ghostly visitors who help him to see the meaning of Christmas and the need to be generous toward those less fortunate than him. It's a fun story, and rightfully a classic. But that won't stop our reviewers! No! YOU CAN'T STOP US FROM RATING A CLASSIC WITH ONE STAR! This is, after all, America.

I'm saving my favorite review for last, but let's start with Chris Brown of Boston, MA, who says, in part:

There can be no arguing with Dickens's wish to show the spiritual advantages of love. But there was no need to make the object of his lesson an entrepreneur whose ideas and practices benefit his employees, society at large, and himself. Must such a man expect no fairer a fate than to die scorned and alone? Bah, I say. Humbug."

Uh-oh. Looks like someone is about to get a midnight visit from a deceased co-worker! I'm pretty sure the point, Chris Brown, is that Scrooge's practices weren't benefiting anyone other than himself. Remember Bob Cratchitt? Remember tiny Tim? Remember everyone else who ever crossed his path?

Poodley Beagle Ellis (REAL NAMEtm) says it's "The stupidest, most confusing book in the world." Wow!

But my favorite one star review came from John Doe of New Jersey, who said several things of note including:

Before reading A Christmas Carol, I automatically gave the book the highest regard probably because I was influenced by the Disney's movie version, at least that's what I thought the book will be like. It didn't turn out to be the case.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that the character
of Scrooge was not even a duck!

Yes, it's always a disappointment to fall in love with the Disney version and then discover that the original was different somehow.

John Doe goes on to complain about the "five dollar words" and that Scrooge gets hand-picked for a Christmas tour. John would prefer someone "worthier" be chosen. He also found the book "too religious." In a spiritual sense.

Lastly, Mr. Doe shares what I think is my favorite critique of the tale when he writes, "I didn't like the part where a character is judged by how he views money." Alas, neither did poor Mr. Scrooge!

And that is all for today's One Star Review. Merry Christmas and a hearty BAH HUMBUG to all of you!

More sightings of Night of the Living Dead Christian in the wild!

2011-12-19T21:40:00.000-08:00

I'm running a bit behind on updates about Night of the Living Dead Christian! So consider this your king-sized helping of Catchup.

First, the Columbian, the local paper here in Vancouver ran a short article about me and the book this week. Be sure to read carefully, or you might get confused and think that I opened a jazz joint! That's the other guy featured in the article! Special thanks to Ruth Zschomler for writing the article!

My parents, coincidentally, happened by the store mentioned in the article, Cover to Cover Books, and look what they found:

Neat!

Fellow author Renee Johnson Fisher sent along this lovely picture, and shared her review of the book here:

And THEN, as if that was not enough, Renee somehow was hanging out with yet-another-fellow-author named Lisa Velthouse, and they sent me a tweet asking if my ears were burning and when I clicked on it I saw this:

Awww, thanks ladies. I can't believe we've never met face to face, because I really, really like you both.

Now, that is not all. You must go see this review from last week's blog tour, in which The Never Ending Story is invoked, including a hilarious invitation to ride a luck dragon named Falcor. And then there is this interview with J.R. Forasteros.

Last but not least I wanted to mention this picture from Terrence Green, because I WAS HIS HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER! Can you believe it? You probably can. But it's weird to see my students all, like, adults and stuff.

Whew! I think we're all caught up now! Breathe a sigh of relief!

It's time for some music appreciation classes

2011-12-19T06:30:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went to put on some Christmas music for me, Krista and our almost-9-year-old, A.

Me: What sort of Christmas music do you want?

Krista: How about Handel's Messiah?

A: Is Handel a band you like or something?

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD CHRISTIAN: The Blog Tour! In 3-D! With Bonus Free Book Feature! Like Nothing You've Ever Seen!

2011-12-15T06:30:00.000-08:00

A lot of times people ask if I'm going to go on tour... you know, drive my car from city to city, bite my nails while I wonder if people will show up at my reading, try to convince people to buy my book, sign some books, try not to pass out from the magic marker fumes, get back in the car and rub my hands together in the cold, watch my breath fog up the window, neglect my job and my family, et cetera.

Those sorts of book tours are increasingly uncommon, although the big names will still do them. I'll make you a deal: if I get catapulted onto the New York Times Bestseller List (in any category), I'll do a book tour and come to your town and do a reading at your house and so on.

In the meantime, today my wonderful publisher, Tyndale House, and my likewise wonderful publicist, Christy! W! Stroud! have set up a "blog tour." How it works is this: a whole heap of bloggers have read Night of the Living Dead Christian, and they're all going to review it simultaneously (as if by hidden signals).

BONUS BONUS BONUS characteristic of this blog tour is that they will ALL BE GIVING AWAY A COPY AS PART OF THEIR REVIEW.

So, if you want a free copy, or another copy, or a copy to give away, or just need something to anonymously put in your pastor's inbox just to see what sort of post-Christmas message he'll come up with, here are the sites you should be frequenting today:

EDIT: I am working my way through the whole blog tour, but it's taking a while! Lots of great posts out there. I'm putting a plus sign by all the blogs I've read that have a post. You should be able to tell where I left off, and I'll keep making my way through tomorrow night. LOTS OF OPPORTUNITIES TO WIN A FREE COPY OUT THERE!

www.hookofabook.wordpress.com +

http://timothyarcher.com/kitchen +

http://jennifer-asag.blogspot.com/ +

www.simplereads.wordpress.com +

http://becauseisaidsothathswhy.blogspot.com/ +

http://laurabo.blogspot.com +

http://bohemianbowmans.com +

www.catrinabradley.blogspot.com +

markbraye.wordpress.com +

http://singlecountrychick.blogspot.com +

http://ramblingsofacoffeeaddictedwrter.blogspot.com +

http://www.haroldsays.typepad.com

http://thepaperbackpursuer.blogspot.com/ +

http://valeriecomer.com +

http://inklingsofreality.wordpress.com +

http://leahsgoodreads.blogspot.com/ +

http://www.cupofjoewithjeanie.com/ +

justjenniferreading.blogspot.com

http://TracyeDukes.com +

http://www.ambassadorinexile.blogspot.com/ +

http://andrews-reveiws1.over-blog.com/ +

http://www.theemeryfamilyblog.blogspot.com +

http://eskypades.wordpress.com +

http://scriptedgenius.com/review/ +

http://www.devotionaldiva.com +

http://koreamom.blogspot.com +

http://ourlittlehouseyears.blogspot.com/

www.neveradullminute.blogspot.com +

http://thewritelife2.wordpress.com/2011/12/15/book-review-and-giveaway-the-night-of-the-living-dead-christian/ +

http://lifeisfunner.blogspot.com +

http://ayamegusa.blogspot.com

http://blesstheirheartsmom.blogspot.com

followjonathan.wordpress.com +

http://collectedmiscellany.com +

http://www.jmarkafghans.com/pages/blog.html

http://pjtheemt.blogspot.com/ +

http://blog.scripturemenu.com/ +

http://www.frugalexperiments.com +

http://couponingfromfl2mi.blogspot.com/ +

Http://jimkane.wordpress.com

http://writingsofasmalltowngirl.blogspot.com/

http://hangingoffthewire.blogspot.com/ +

http://matthewkresge.blogspot.com +

http://fbcnewlondon.blogspot.com +

http://leicestersquared.wordpress.com/ +

matichuk.wordpress.com +

www.homeschoolblogger.com/CharlaM

www.crmooney.com +

http://jacobscafe.blogspot.com/ +

http://themisplacedmidwesterner.blogspot.com +

www.bookreviewsbytima.blogspot.com +

http://wordbasket.blogspot.com +

http://nordykeacademy101.blogspot.com/p/moms-book-blogs.html +

http://chatterandclatter.blogspot.com/ +

worryfreemom.com +

http://baysbooks.blogspot.com/ +

http://readingfairytales.blogspot.com +

http://hollyroberts.weebly.com/blog.html +

http://www.examiner.com/christian-fiction-in-san-francisco/cindi-rose +

http://mylifeasmamajodi.com +

http://itsjustme.wordpress.com/ +

http://andrealschultz.blogspot.com/ +

http://womanofhopeandprayer.blogspot.com/ +

http://awaitingtheking.com/ +

http://biblechick.com, +

http://www.examiner.com/parenting-in-portlandsunshine-simmons +

http://www.thewriteweb.wordpress.com +

http://myseasonsofgrace.blogspot.com/

http://mexicanwildflower.blogspot.com +

http://perplexedpastor.blogspot.com/ +

http://terriharr.blogspot.com/ +

http://grammageri.wordpress.com/ +

http://www.lindseyvanniekerk.blogspot.com +

http://www.rebeccajosbooks.blogspot.com/ +

friartucksfleetingthoughts.blogspot.com +

http://reeseone.blogspot.com/ +

http://nashpredsfan.wordpress.com +

An excellent reminder of our limitations, as presented by my two-year-old

2011-12-13T20:16:00.000-08:00

Walking to school this morning with the kids, I pointed out the moon in the western sky, full and bright in the early sunlight.

The so-called baby, M, looked up and said, "The moon!" Then she paused, thought about it for a moment and added, "I can't reach it."

Wonderful Wednesday: Haiku Traffic signs in NYC

2011-12-07T09:18:00.000-08:00

Since that earlier Wonderful Wednesday was wonderful-with-a-question-mark, here's a pure wonderful one. New York City recently put up haiku and traffic . Here's the scoop.

This particular news brought to you by Nurse Shasta. She cares about your health.

Wonderful Wednesday (?) : Batman Christmas Special!

2011-12-07T06:40:00.000-08:00

I watched this and it made me laugh. It's so weird as to be nearly nonsensical, but it was funny. But also it was not quite, um, kosher. If Christmas can be described as kosher. Warning: if you have kids around you may want to preview this, as a certain antlered creature at the North Pole is done away with and a red-clad merry elf is looking a little less than well by the end. It's not a game, though. More of a music video.

Batman Christmas Special

Finally finished with this one!

Play this free game now!!

Eavesdropping With Matt (Episode Sixty: If you're going to talk like a geek, at least get your facts straight)

2011-12-06T06:13:00.000-08:00

Dedicated to the two guys sitting behind me at the Nutcracker ballet. An old guy and a young guy, equal in ignorance!

Guy #1: You know Superman and Batman?

*SPOLIER* I heard that in the new Batman movie,
Catwoman and Batman get married and have babies!
I found this picture here.

Guy #2: Yeah. They are just beating super heroes into the ground with movies. Batman movies. What have there been now, three? They just, they just don't have any stories worth telling any more.
Guy #1: Are Superman and Batman from Marvel Comics or some other company?

Guy #2: They're all Marvel.

Guy #1: Not X-Men. They're Capcom.

Guy #2: Well, I do know that the Marvel comics, they used to have this whole family called The Marvel Family.

Guy #1: Oh yeah?

Guy #2: And the dad, Captain Marvel, he would always shout SHAZAM!

Then I turned around and shouted, STOP IT STOP IT YOU ARE HURTING MY HEART!

Starring Darth Vader as the Grinch

2011-12-05T06:49:00.000-08:00

Ah, the time has come for Christmas posts! Yay!

I enjoyed this little video, as it made Darth Vader seem like a charming old sourpuss instead of a galaxy-ruling mass murdering sociopath.

I'm pretty sure I first saw this on Marc's blog. And, if not, shame on you, Marc, for not finding this first.

Can the Bulldog be saved?

2011-12-04T06:26:00.000-08:00

Last week's New York Times Magazine ran this interesting article about the plight of the modern bulldog. Apparently the inbreeding necessary to create pure breed dogs is resulting in a dying, health-challenge breed. I've forced my poor wife to listen to me philosophize about it at least twice. And, as a service to her, I am now going to force you all to read it so that I can leave her in peace.

Here it is.

Most popular posts in November

2011-12-03T18:54:00.001-08:00

I enjoyed sharing your favorite BHR posts last month, and it seems just self-focused enough of an activity to make it charming later in the month when I realize the true meaning of Christmas.

Observations: First place, as always, goes to the most popular post ever on this blog, about our tenth anniversary. If you are looking for a successful theme for your blog, this is the one. Write every day for a year about your tenth anniversary and I guarantee you'll be successful.

Three out of the four remaining posts basically had to do with me complaining. About Amazon, or the Spokane TSA, or porn commercials on a game app.

Lastly, you're wondering about a sequel to NLDC, or what my next writing project might be. Hopefully you won't have to wait long... I pitched an idea to my agent this week!

Anyway, here are the posts, in order of popularity:

1) Ten Years!

2) I wish Amazon would fix this

3) Places Where My Toothpaste Has Traveled, And Where...

4) Night of the Living Dead Christian... sequel?

5) Why I'm deleting your app

It's like nostalgia for the month that just ended.

Night of the Living Dead Christian... IN JAMAICA!

2011-11-21T21:20:00.001-08:00

Mike Campbell sends an update from a cruise in Jamaica (Note to self: see if I can get people to take me along on cruises instead of taking my books!). He said that so long as I keep publishing books, he'll keep sending us pictures of him reading them in exotic locations. Nice! He also says, "if your real life is anything like your character in the books, I suggest you convert to Catholicism so your ever patient wife can be canonized as a saint!"

Thanks, Mike!

And remember, friends, send in your pictures with Night of the Living Dead Christian or Imaginary Jesus and I'll be sure to post them here!

Preaching this weekend at the First Church of God in Vancouver, WA

2011-11-18T21:29:00.001-08:00

I'm preaching this weekend at the First Church of God in Vancouver, Washington, which is my parents' church. It's a great church, and I had a lot of fun the last time I preached there, and I'm sure this time will be no different.There are services Saturday night at 5 and Sunday morning at 9:30 and 11.

Also, last time I spoke at FCoG, I got a lot of people wanting to know why I didn't have copies of my book for sale, including Pastor Don. This is a mistake that will surely be rectified this weekend. So if you'd like a signed copy of one of my books for yourself or as a gift, I'd be glad to provide you an opportunity to score one.

See you this weekend!

Wonderful Wednesday: Time lapse view of the Earth from space

2011-11-16T06:42:00.000-08:00

This is amazing, beautiful and worth your time. Check it out:
Earth | Time Lapse View from Space, Fly Over | NASA, ISS from Michael König on Vimeo.

Appearance at the Oregon Faith and Culture Writer's Connection this Thursday night

2011-11-15T14:10:00.000-08:00

This Thursday night I'll be hanging out with the Oregon Faith and Culture Writer's Connection. Once a month the OFCW gets together to connect and share about the writing life. This month I'm the guest speaker... we'll talk about writing, I'll do a reading from Night of the Living Dead Christian, do a question and answer time, and I'll also have copies of the book available for sale. Of course I'll sign books as well.

Date: Thursday, November 17th
Time: 7 p.m.
Location: Rolling Hills Community Church, located at 3550 SW Borland Road in Tualatin.

I hope you can make it... looking forward to seeing you there.

Why I'm deleting your app

2011-11-15T06:33:00.000-08:00

Dear "Dragon, Fly!" app developers. I like your app. I think it's a fun game, and since it's a one-touch control, my 2 year old likes it, too, and she likes to play the game. The game is clean, easy to use and simple enough for her to enjoy it.

Unfortunately, the ads on your game are also one-touch. And for some unfathomable reason you are consistently running ads for Playboy. I don't know if you think because it says "bunnies" that makes it appropriate for two-year-olds but I assure you that it's not. I thought it might be a passing thing, but it doesn't appear to be. So, guess what? We're going to be fine without your app.

Let me know if you change your advertising policies or lineup to make them more family-friendly. And less exploitative of women. Gracias.

Places Where My Toothpaste Has Traveled, And Where It Now Rests

2011-11-14T06:30:00.000-08:00

"Sir, you're going to have to check that."

Until yesterday, I had a 4.1 ounce tube of Colgate toothpaste. I had taken this particular tube of toothpaste to San Diego, East Asia, San Francisco and then to Spokane without any trouble, and through many airline security checkpoints. No one in the TSA complained about this, my 4.1 ounce tube of toothpaste, which I dutifully bagged in a quart sized baggie and pulled out for the TSA to inspect at every stop along the way.

Until yesterday, when the TSA lady in Spokane pulled my baggie out, gave me the "What are you trying to pull?" squint and said, "Sir, this is a 4.1 ounce tube of toothpaste and TSA guidelines state that you can only have 3.4 ounce containers of toothpaste. Would you like to surrender your toothpaste or go check your bag?"

I did not want to surrender my toothpaste. As I said, it had traveled around with me quite a bit and I was feeling attached to it. So I asked her what it would look like for me to check my bag. She patiently explained that I would be escorted out of the secure zone and allowed to go check my bag and then go through security again. Sigh. Adios, pasta dentifrica.

I know this TSA agent was just doing her job (and I'm glad the TSA is doing their job), but it made me mad. I mean, why can't toothpaste companies make 3.4 ounce containers? And if they do, why doesn't my grocery store carry them? Am I really putting the nation at risk with an extra 7 ounces of toothpaste? And why doesn't it count that I had used at least seven ounces of toothpaste already?

AND ESPECIALLY: Why is it that one of my traveling companions, who was directly in front of me in line and who didn't take her toothpaste out of her bag, and WHO HAD A FULL-SIZED TUBE OF TOOTHPASTE in her bag allowed to keep hers? Am I being profiled? Should I have left my tube of toothpaste in my bag instead of taking it out? Is the TSA lady brushing her teeth with my toothpaste right now? Is it true that Crest is less likely to be noticed or confiscated by the TSA?

In the meantime, I guess it's back to filling my depleted three ounce tubes with a giant 97 ounce tube from Costco.

I am on an airplane!

2011-11-12T08:31:00.000-08:00

Right now, if all goes well, I should be on an airplane coming back from my too-short-trip to Asia. If that's not the case, I suppose you will be treated to some entertaining posts in the weeks to come.

Anyway, sometimes people say things to me like, "Matt, why are you posting on your blog right now instead of doing Some Other Thing I Want You To Do?" Usually this involves things like power washing their car, or juggling fiery torches or working on some inverse kinematics.

You might think this is a reasonable request, ESPECIALLY the inverse kinematics, because otherwise how will I ever teach my robot arm to pick up my side of the room? However, I just want to point out, Internet Friends, that sometimes I schedule my posts in advance. Yes. I know. It seems like cheating, and we would like the internet to be immediate and responsive.

Don't worry, though, there are some fun things about posting in advance. For instance, on my birthday in the year 2174 you guys are going to have a great time. I mean, I just packed every secret I know into that post. And not just my own secrets! It's going to be great!

For all you skeptics out there who think I always post in real time, I think you will enjoy this post.

Okay my friends, that is all. I'll be in Spokane this weekend hanging out with a bunch of college seniors and Cru staff, talking about how to make a decision about what to do with the rest of your life! Which I'm guessing half of the Cru staff are asking, in addition to the seniors who will be there. Should be fun.

Behold! The Laughing Monk!

2011-11-11T08:52:00.000-08:00

Every once in a while I kick around comic book ideas. It would be really fun to write a comic some day. I've got a little secret project brewing that I hope I can share with you soon, together with my new buddy M.S. Corley, but in the meantime I thought I'd show you a comic I started writing and then decided to sit on.

I love Batman, but I miss the old days when he was a shadowy vigilante who used his detective skills and fisticuffs to beat up and outwit the bad guys. The Zorro style Batman, basically. I wanted to write a character who was that sort of guy... protector of the downtrodden, ordinary man, hero. So I came up with The Laughing Monk, a swashbuckling vigilante on the Mexican border who protects the people of the border town of Todos Santos. I sent the script to my friend Steve Downer and he liked it enough to throw me a quick sketch of the Monk... as you can see he kept to the Batman/Zorro inspiration, and I like it a lot!

Here's the script for first eight pages of the first issue, and a synopsis of the first story arc. It would need another draft, for sure There are some things I'd need to change (my Catholic friends, for instance, tell me that the Father speaks like a t.v. priest instead of a real one). I named the main character after my maternal grandfather, just for fun, but if it were ever published I don't know if I'd do that.

Anyway, there you go, some fun for your weekend. Enjoy!

Sometimes I Think About Changing the Title of this Blog

2011-11-10T15:41:00.000-08:00

Let's be honest, no one can remember the name, "Burning Hearts Revolution." I mean, I like it and everything. Maybe you do, too, so I'll leave that on the survey. But why don't you take a minute to pick a preferred name below. Some of the names are jokes. I'll let you decided which ones. And I even left you a handy place where you can leave your own suggested titles. But please don't suggest a title like, "THINK OF YOUR OWN TITLE YOU LAZY AUTHOR" because I already thought of it and rejected it for reasons I think you will discover for yourself if you reflect on it long enough.

And now... to the survey, my minions!

Wonderful Wednesday: Racist Coffee

2011-11-09T10:03:00.000-08:00

Hey, white friend, try this:

Night of the Living Dead Christian... sequel?

2011-11-08T08:12:00.000-08:00

I'm travelling right now, and part of the fun is leaving you some food for thought while I'm on the road. This post, therefore, has nothing to do with what I'm doing right now but only concerns... THE FUTURE! But is this a post concerning what is to come or merely what may be to come? That is for you, dear reader, to decide!

I talked a while back with Tyndale about doing some spin offs of Night of the Living Dead Christian, specifically doing novella-length stories as "mini-sequels" taking place in the NLDC universe and following in more detail the growth process of one of the minor players of NLDC. The first would be about Robert, the “ex-zombie”, the second about Lara the vampire and the third about Reverend Frank Martin and his other son, Marty.

Now, Tyndale said they wanted me focused on the current book, not off daydreaming about some other thing to come down the line (okay, they didn't say that exactly, and they're much nice than that) but I can't stop thinking about the characters and the story. So, here's a question:

If these stories were available as novellas, as e-books, would you want to read them? And would you be willing to pay a buck or two to do so? And, since I'm asking all these questions, which one sounds best to you?

Story One:
Former zombie Robert Doyle is finding life among the living difficult. He’s so used to following the commands of his zombie master that he honestly doesn’t know what he wants, what his preferences are, or how he’d like to spend his life. The only thing he knows for sure is that he loves hard-boiled detective novels. So he sets up shop as a gumshoe. It’s not long before he’s contacted with his first case… a missing girl, who disappeared at a local church outreach. An initial visit reveals a church full of happy, bubbly, impossibly nice and contented church goers. But all is not as it seems. The trail for the missing girl leads deeper into the church, into the labyrinthine corridors beneath the surface. And now Robert finds himself alone, in the dark, facing off against an entire underground race of monsters… monsters bent on making him and the girl into creatures of the deep below, just like them. The odds seem impossible, but one thing’s certain: Robert isn’t leaving without the girl.

Story Two:
Lara, the newest alto in the struggling church choir Sonshine Singers, has a secret. She’s a vampire. Keeping a secret like that – being (sort of) dead – isn’t easy, which is why she came to a Big Box Mega Church in the first place. But now the head pastor is preaching on “Monsters In Our Midst” and the congregation is out with pitchforks and torches. Plus, Lara is starting to suspect that the pastor himself is not all he seems, despite the long list of accolades, accomplishments and his slavishly devoted fans. To top it all off, Lara is getting “thirsty” and that long-necked tenor is starting to look like a great big juice box… even worse, the Easter Cantata is only three weeks away, and Lara has been “promoted” to soprano. Sounds like a disaster, one way or another, a disaster that Lara is determined to avoid, resist and out-sing. The stakes are high, and the notes are higher, but for the first time in years Lara feels like she has a challenge she can really sink her teeth into.

Story Three:
Reverend Frank Martin had two sons. During unhappy years of his life, he drove them both away, trying (he thought) to help them. Given the recent reunion with his younger son, Luther, Frank is thinking about trying to contact his older son to try to make amends. But finding Marty Martin is proving more difficult than he imagined. Now there are rumors of a strange beast in the forests around Mt. St. Helens… a sasquatch or bigfoot. But a grainy amateur video reveals a loping walk Frank remembers all too well. Now he’s packed his things for an extended stay in the wilderness, hoping to reconnect with his son. The only problem with Frank’s plan is that Marty Martin has no intention of being reunited with his father. On the contrary, he has every intention of killing Frank because of what happened to Marty’s mother. But Frank is determined to show Marty once and for all that a father’s love is more powerful than their shared past.

OKAY... this all hinges on you. What do you think? Yea or Nay?

Where in the world is Matt Mikalatos?

2011-11-07T07:27:00.000-08:00

I am in Asia!

At least, if all scheduled flights went well, that's where I am.

Krista and I used to live here, and for the first time in quite a few years we're going back together. We're both excited, and it should be a good time.

But I wanted to let you know that if you are trying to get ahold of me you might have a hard time, and while you are snug in your bed I'm probably eating some dan bing or xiao long bao or something. Ken Cheung, feel free to correct my pinyin.

Anyway, I've left some little surprises for you every day through Friday, so there will be posts popping up here every day through Friday at least, and if I have time I'll put up some posts in Asia as well.

Have a lovely week, and if you think of it feel free to go out to Asian food in my honor.

I wish Amazon would fix this

2011-11-04T17:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, let's be honest. As embarrassed as I am to love a behemoth corporation like Amazon, the fact is that I do. They have always made my life better, starting with when, once upon a time, they shipped books I couldn't find anywhere else to my house FOR FREE. And the Kindle has changed my life for the better... it has altered how I travel and how I read in a way that is undeniably positive. And I would be lying if I said I didn't want to go get a Kindle Fire. That's not going to happen where I am financially, but I still want one. And I love the author services set up through Amazon, and I bought my first album in the cloud the other day (the new, amazing, Switchfoot album, Vice Verses). All that to say... I am a fan. All things being equal I'll buy from Amazon rather than some other e-tailer.

So, today, I go to download a couple of books for my Kindle for an upcoming trip, planning to charge it to one of my credit cards that I use for this specific purpose, but when I went to buy them, there was nowhere to choose my payment options. I can only buy it through the "one click" system... for my convenience. So I can't choose which credit card I want to use unless I go and alter the settings. So I went and altered the settings so I could use that card. And then, when I hit "one click" it CHARGED MY GIFT CARD BALANCE.

As it happens, I was planning to save my gift card balance to buy Christmas gifts. There is no way to change the payment once it's made. So I contacted Amazon. Here's our chat. I changed the name of the very helpful Amazon associate, as this is not about him (he was great) but about Amazon:

Me: I just purchased two e-books but instead of using my credit card to pay, Amazon used my gift certificate balance. I'd like to use my credit card, not my gift certificate balance.

Amazon: Hello, my name is (Amazon employee). I'll be happy to help you.

Me: Thanks, Amazon employee.

Amazon: I'm sorry Matt, if the gift card balance is there in the account, it will charge first.

Me: So is there a way to get it refunded? I need to use my credit card, not my (gift card) balance.

Amazon: Matt, I can issue you refund. But still if you again order something ,your gift card will be charged,if it has the balance.

Me: I will buy it elsewhere then. Thanks!

Amazon: Okay.

Me: So, I guess go ahead and issue the refund and return the books if you have to. I would be great if there was actually an option on this. I know you can choose on physical books, it seems short-sighted of Amazon not to have the option for ebooks

I know that's not your decision, but I prefer buying books at Amazon...

Amazon: May I know the books names you want to be refunded.

Me: One is "Culture Making" and the other is "best spiritual writing 2011"

Amazon: Thank you Matt. I have refunded the books you will be notified in the email about this.

Me: Thanks. I wish there were a way to buy these books without using my gift card. Anyway, thanks for your help.

Amazon: You will credited with in 2-3 business days. I'm really sorry for the inconvenience you faced Matt.

You are welcome. Is there anything else I can do for you today?

Me: no. thanks

Amazon: Thanks for visiting Amazon.com. We hope to see you again soon!

Me:
actually... if I buy the books now it will charge my credit card, right? Since the gift card balance isn't in there?

And that is what I did. So, just to make it clear, here are the necessary steps for me to take if I want to order my Kindle e-book on a specific credit card instead of using my gift card:

1) Order the book.

2) Search the site to see if there's some way to change the payment that was used. There's not (not for e-books, anyway).

3) Contact Amazon help.

4) Return the e-books. (At least this step was relatively painless.)

5) Quickly purchase the books again with my creidt card before the gift card balance is restored.

So, the convenience of one-click ordering took me about 35 minutes. Yay.

Amazon, please fix this. Gracias.

Eavesdropping with Matt (Episode Fifty-Nine: Mama didn't raise no zombies!)

2011-11-03T07:08:00.000-07:00

Black Ranger, Spider Ranger, Bat Ranger, Blue Ranger.

Every year there's someone charming at the door when Halloween rolls around. This year it was an eight-year-old kid who was wearing a Power Rangers costume with a Spider-Man shirt pulled over it, a Captain America helmet on his head and a Boba Fett jet pack on his back. His mom hovered just behind him for this conversation.

Me: What are you? A Power Ranger?

Mom: He likes super-heroes.

Kid: I'm a zombie.

Me: Ha ha! You're a zombie? Did you eat all those superheroes?

Mom: He is not a zombie.

Me: Ah, I see.

Mom: Look at his jetpack. He's a super hero.

Kid (under his breath, head turned away from mom): I'm a zombie.

NOTE: It is precisely this sort of parental denial regarding the zombie status of loved ones that will cause the infection to spread more rapidly than is necessary should there be an outbreak. Please be as dispassionate as possible when diagnosing your loved ones.

More sightings of Night of the Living Dead Christian in the wild!

2011-11-02T14:40:00.000-07:00

Today's sighting comes from BHR minion Eugene Pando!

Eugene may or may not have slightly altered the books' original shelf placement. Thanks, Eugene!

Wonderful Wednesday: What if you mixed "Jaws" with Charlie Brown?

2011-11-02T06:58:00.000-07:00

Artist Charles Forsman thought it would be fun to illustrate key scenes from the movie Jaws in the style of the Peanuts cartoons. And he was right!

Be sure to click over to his site, where you can also see Raiders of the Lost Ark with Popeye or buy prints of his work.

A new blog, and lots of books in the give away!

2011-11-01T10:32:00.000-07:00

I earned my graduate degree from Western Seminary, and I can say with all honesty that there are many professors there with a great deal of insight, godliness, and fascinating things to say. A new blog from Western Seminary professors just started yesterday (two of whom, Marc Cortez and Todd Miles, guest posted here within the last month, and a third, John Johnson, is my head pastor!).

Anyway, the blog looks to be consistently interesting and enjoyable and you can check it out here.

Be sure to sign up for the big book giveaway, where you can have a chance to win a big, impressive theological work. Or Night of the Living Dead Christian. Ha ha ha ha!

Go on! Stop sitting around and click on the links.

EDIT: ~~Some of the~~ All of the links in this post were broken, but now they're fixed. Or rather, I should say that they have been transformed.

Guest Post from blogger The Notorious MLE: the Chinese superheroes in my neighborhood

2011-11-01T06:55:00.000-07:00

I first met Emily when she was in high school. She's not in high school anymore, of course, but at the time she was in the youth group at my church, and I was one of the youth workers. She's always been an exceptionally interesting person, and her blog is great. When I asked Krista for some people she thought should be guest posting here, she specifically mentioned Emily. So, first there's a short intro from Emily, and her post follows! Enjoy!

Hi everybody. My name is Emily and I blog over at www.notoriousmle.com. My blog is a narrative blog detailing whatever is on my mind: usually a combination of tacos, book reviews and stories about life. It's an honor to be guest posting in the company of so many talented writers. Thanks for having me!

Elderly Chinese superheroes are the rulers of my neighborhood. Everyday at 10 am they emerge from their houses to engage in their daily powerwalk/do-gooding. Most days I’m at work so I don’t see them but I come home to the legacy of their daily kindnesses: the garbage cans put away neatly up and down the street, the stray trash coralled in the compost bins and the mysterious dissapearance of any weed that dares show it’s face. They are a true blessing. When I come home from work I want to weep with joy when I see that I don’t have to drag in the garbage cans.

Some of the superheroes go above and beyond. My favorite neighbor is Mrs. Kwong. Mrs. Kwong does not limit her heroism to physical tasks, no, no no! She is aggressively kind. On Sundays I sometimes see Ms. Kwong on her way to church. As she passes by my house she always stops to say hi. Her English is not good but that does not stop her from spreading joy. Last time I saw her she stopped in front of me grabbed my shoulders and shouted “You VERY PRETTY! You baby a good boy!” She shouted these words at me in the way that old Chinese ladies do while presenting me with the biggest purest smile I’ve ever seen.

Her compliment made my day but that’s not why she is a superhero.

She’s a superhero because she is bigger than the anxieties, fears and self-pity that plague so many. Ms. Kwong doesn’t sit around saying “Oh, I can’t say hi, I don’t speak good english” or “Nobody cares about me because I’m old and have a limp” or “I’m embarrassed to open my mouth cause my teeth are a little funky.” No, Ms. Kwong doesn’t deal with that crap. She barrels around our neighborhood assaulting passerbys with a kindness that comes from a selfless simplicity of heart. I pray that we can each be a little more like her: less absorbed with our own “shortcomings” and more delighted by what we can give to others. Take it from a very PRETTY GIRL; it’s a beautiful way to be.

Links for Living Dead Christians

2011-10-31T13:17:00.000-07:00

Hey friends...

Bullet the vampire dog!

I'm guessing quite a few of you are coming over after the radio interview with Chris Fabry. He's a great guy and we had a lot of fun in our time together on the air! And, aside from my two-year-old bursting into the recording studio/my room I thought it went well. I thought I'd give you a few more links if you were interested.

Here's Chris Fabry's site, which includes a pdf download of the "Monster Guide" which you can use for self-diagnosis. Are you a monster? (Yes, I think so.)

Here's the post on Her.menuetics that Chris mentioned.

He's so fast he can scarcely be caught on film. Like a Bullet!

Here's a a recent (long!) interview I did on a theology blog called Near Emmaus (Part One, Part Two).

Download a short, recent interview on Teen Talk.

And, of course, if you haven't seen it already, here's my website, my twitter, the Night of the Living Dead Christian facebook group, and if you look in the sidebar you'll see places to buy my books or sign up for my infrequent but satisfying newsletter.

And, if you just can't get enough about zombies for some reason, check out this long post about what zombies mean at Just Above Sunset, in which I am briefly quoted.

Vampire Dog provided courtesy of Sarah Atkinson, Acquisitions Editor.
You should follow her on Twitter.

Dracula The Unconquered!

2011-10-31T08:41:00.000-07:00

My friend Steve Downer has a new comic that just came out today. Steve has been a professionally published comic colorist for a while, but this time he's teamed up with some buddies (and Steve is doing the pencils as well) and they're doing a digital-only launch of their new comic, DRACULA THE UNCONQUERED!

The story follows Dracula as he is resurrected in the early days of the 20th century. He'll be running around the world fighting monsters and ghosts. Is he protecting the world for the world's sake or keeping it safe so he can rule it? Who knows? Anyway, check it out... it's only a dollar! Here's a 6 page preview.

UK man calls the cops about a UFO... which turns out to be the moon

2011-10-31T04:55:00.000-07:00

Police in the UK took this phone call at 999 (their equivalent of the U.S. 911). The police have put the call up on the internet to remind people not to call the police with frivolous calls. You know, like when you think the moon is a spaceship.So... call 911 responsibly today. Happy Halloween.

Eavesdropping with Matt (Episode Fifty-Eight: Martians are weird!)

2011-10-29T09:47:00.000-07:00

Dedicated to my lovely daughters and to the cast and crew of the defunct television series, Power Rangers: Operation Overdrive! My kids love Power Rangers, and this morning I thought I would try to understand what was going on! At least, more than "Rangers beat up bad guys." I spent much of the morning interrogating my eight-year-old, A.

Me: Why is that one guy so weird?

A: He's from Mars.

Me: But the rest of them are just ordinary humans?

A: No. That one guy wearing a backpack is really rich.

Note: Actually, I discovered while watching, that one guy was from Mercury.

More Eavesdropping with Matt here.

LINKS! The sausage of the internet 10/28/11

2011-10-28T08:55:00.000-07:00

Ah, you love those tasty, prepackaged links, made up of things from all over the internet. These should keep you busy during this beautiful weekend.

First, be sure to check out the new cover to John Scalzi's forthcoming book as discussed by his art director, and then the author's thoughts here.

Then, you would probably like to know all about albino cyclops sharks. Well, shark, singular. But come on, if there was one out there, you know there's an evil super villain somwhere with vats and vats of the things. Special thanks to Ken Cheung for pointing that one out.

Hey, why not another review of Night of the Living Dead Christian.

Ever wondered what an expert in Greek would say about all those sermons that talk about "Go and make disciples"? Is it a command? Are we commanded to "go" or "make disciples" or both? Well, stop wondering and click on this link.

And, lastly, for all of you out there who are following your dream and wondering, "When will I break through to the big time?" I include this moving video about some aspiring actors who wanted to make it in Hollywood, and tried out for a part in The Empire Strikes Back. I think you'll recognize most of them.

FREE copy of HowlSage by Brock Eastman

2011-10-28T06:23:00.000-07:00

No doubt you recall author Brock Eastman doing a guest post for us earlier in the week.

Well, last night Brock sent me a note offering to give YOU a free copy of his YA adult fantasy novel, HowlSage!

Here's what he had to say:

Please offer your fans a chance to get a free copy of HowlSage, my latest YA book. Destiny Image is giving away copies of HowlSage to anyone willing to provide a review of the book on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and CBD.

Please have your fans send their name and mailing address to freehowlsagebook@gmail.com and Destiny Image will send them out a free copy in a the next couple of weeks.

Thanks, Brock! I'm sure some of our gang will be excited to get a free book. I'm ordering one for my children. Right. Now.

Don't worry, they will also do a review!

Even babies love Night of the Living Dead Christian!

2011-10-27T20:57:00.000-07:00

The wondrous Linda Howard sent me these delightful photos of her handsome grandson, who is clearly above average in the intelligence department. You can tell by the look on his face in these pictures!

Oh hey! A book? For me? Can I do anything I want with it?
I can? Can I... eat it?

Seriously, if you don't want me to eat this, now's the time to speak up.

It's a little... ugh... a little different than I was expecting.

Oh! Actually! It's growing on me. Maybe it's an acquired taste. Mmmm!

You heard it here first, people! Night of the Living Dead Christian is better than babies expect! It is an acquired taste!

So, buy two copies. One to read, and one for a baby you love to lick!

EDIT: Make that, one for a baby you love. For the baby to lick. Not a baby you love to lick. Ew. What's wrong with you?

Just in case you are missing the melifluous sound of my voice

2011-10-27T07:14:00.000-07:00

Today I'll be hanging out on the live video blog/chat show, Remedy Live from 3-4pm Pacific. You'll also be able to see me, wearing my big headphones with attached microphone. Which begs the question: what will I wear? I'm thinking a pirate patch and a Greek fisherman's cap.

As if that weren't enough, I'll also be on Nicole O'Dell's Teen Talk radio show at 7 p.m. tonight, although I'm not sure if that one is live or not.

Or you could just call me. You never call anymore.

Imaginary Jesus, we love you

2011-10-26T21:45:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you guys are getting really sick of hearing about Night of the Living Dead Christian all the time. While you love the shiny new thing, you are also filled with a nostalgic twinge of sadness thinking of a simpler, more innocent time when I only had one book and all I ever talked about was how King James Jesus made me laugh with his silly anachronistic comments.

So, as a sort of throwback to those glory days, I've got a few little somethings for you:

1) Imaginary Jesus e-book is free for a couple more days. Wherever e-books are sold. Which is to say, primarily on the internet.

2) You may recall that last May I spoke at Clayton Community Church for what was supposed to be a few week series about "Imaginary Jesus." The pastoral staff enjoyed talking about our misconceptions about Jesus so much that the series became a TWELVE PART JUGGERNAUT! I thought you might enjoy listening to some of the talks, which are here. Fun fact: three of the speakers are people I've known for some time. Rick Nylund was one of Krista's youth group staff, is a good friend and actually performed part of our wedding ceremony! Dr. Shawn Robinson was the leader of my InterVarsity club in college, and Sara Goetz and I went to high school together!

3) Remember back in the day when I would always post interesting reviews of IJ? Here's a recent one from a lovely woman who has four beautiful adopted kids. Enjoy.

4) I've been waiting to tell you about some of the big changes coming for Imaginary Jesus. Mostly because I want to make sure that the new baby, NLDC, gets plenty of love, and there's nothing like the first born wanting to show off to take away attention from the new baby. But suffice it to say that IJ is getting a new name, a new cover and a new unveiling very soon because, you know, it was waaaaay back in 2010 when it first came out and we want to update that bad boy for 2012. Yeehaw! More details soon. But if you can't wait, a little internet snooping will reveal all.

Does anyone else have "Glory Days" by Bruce Springsteen stuck in their head? Man! Knock it off, Boss!

Guest Post by Author and Seminary Professor Todd Miles: What about those who haven't heard the good news of the Kingdom?

2011-10-26T07:01:00.000-07:00

Dr. Todd Miles was one of my professors at Western Seminary, and I enjoyed his classes a great deal. I took two theology classes and an ethics class from Todd, and all three classes taught me things I'm using in ministry and in life today. The ethics class was both terrifying and insightful. Todd is also the author of A God of Many Understandings?: The Gospel and Theology of Religions, a book about the way in which Christians should interact with people of different faith systems within our culture. This is, in fact, one of the things that Todd addresses in this blog post, talking about the Great Commission and how it relates to pluralism. I found this post refreshing and challenging and I trust you will as well. Enjoy.

Each day on my way to work I drive by a billboardadvertisement for a local university celebrating its commitment to inclusivity.Though it could be construed as a statement regarding its admissionsrequirements (Send us an application! Everybody gets in! Nothing exclusiveabout us!), it is more likely that the university is attempting, in a vagueway, to tap into postmodernity’s commitment to tolerance and its rejection ofexclusivity.

We live in a pluralistic world, full of different kinds ofpeople, different kinds of philosophies, and different kinds of religions. Of course,ever since shortly after Adam’s fall, pluralism of this sort has been the waythings are, so nothing much has changed in a descriptive sense. What haschanged is that pluralism in our day does not just describe the way things are;pluralism describes the way things ought to be. When pluralism is cherished andprescribed, then tolerance necessarily rises to the top of the virtue list.Christianity’s claim that Jesus Christ is the exclusive way to rightreconciliation with God does not sit well with the prevailing culturalsensibilities.

In today’s world, to be exclusive, particularly aboutreligion, is to be rude, narrow, and close-minded, and most likely (in aguilty-until-proven-innocent fashion) judgmental and bigoted.

Therefore, we are told that truth claims, especiallyreligious truth claims, ought to be humble. Better yet, people ought to havechoices and our pluralistic world delivers. We are presented with a seeminglyendless array of options, an ideological smorgasbord, where we can sample and selectreligious entrees according to taste and preference, without fear of culturalreprisal. To be told that your religious conviction is wrong is largelyequivalent to being told that your dessert choice is wrong. Claiming that Jesusis the only way to salvation (however salvation might be construed) is like arguingthat Derby Pie (chocolate-saturated pecan pie - need I say more?) is the onlylegitimate way to after-dinner paradise.

Such thinking comprises the ambient cultural atmosphere. Itis the very air that we breathe. It creeps easily into the church’s thinking. Then,when we are confronted with the enormous numbers of people who die withoutbelieving or even hearing the gospel, our minds begin to race: Doesn’t Goddesire that all be saved (1 Tim 2:4)? Isn’t it true that the Lord does not wishthat any should perish (2 Pet 3:9)? And then we consider the trumping questionof anti-exclusivity: What about those who, through no fault of their own, havenever heard the gospel? The response in some Christian circles is to speculateon the possibility of salvation apart from hearing and believing the gospel orthe possibility of salvation being mediated through other religions.

Christians must recognize that such questions, while beingdifficult, are not off-limits. We need solid, biblically-faithful responses tothose questions. But we also have to recognize the force of the climate inwhich we do our thinking. Our postmodern context demands that we answer questionssuch as these in an “exclusively inclusivistic” fashion. It is our duty tothink through those questions, but it is equally our duty to think through themfaithfully. Jesus Christ demands that we take every thought captive inobedience to him (2 Cor 10:4-5) and warns us about being conformed to thepattern or mold of this world (Rom 12:2). Our thinking is to be guided by hisWord and here are four reasons to think that pluralism (all roads lead to God) andits sensibilities lack biblical warrant. Or to say it a different way, here arefour broad reasons to think twice about jettisoning Jesus’ exclusive claims.

Explicit BiblicalTeaching

When we read the gospels, we are confronted with the realitythat Jesus was not at all concerned with being tolerant of false ideas aboutGod and if he were speaking in our context he would not bow to the idol ofpolitical correctness. Living and teaching in a day and age that valuedreligious pluralism (the Greco-Roman world) as much as ours, Jesus taught that“repentance and forgiveness of sins was to be proclaimed in his name to all thenations (Luke 24:47), that unless one honored the Son it was impossible tohonor God (John 5:23-26), and that he was the way, the truth and the life and thatno one could come to the Father apart from him (John 14:6). Jesus’ first disciples understood thatteaching and were bold in propagating the message that “there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heavengiven among men by which we must be saved" (Acts 4:12). These explicit teachings (and that was just arepresentative sampling) must be considered in any Christian’s zeal toconstruct the possibility of salvation outside of belief in Jesus Christ.

Jesus was Not HopefulThat Most Would Be Saved

On a couple occasions, Jesus spoke to the destiny of themajority and he was not optimistic. In the Sermon on the Mount he concluded, “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide andthe way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many.For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those whofind it are few” (Matt 7:13-14). In a parallel passage in Luke, Jesus wasasked, “Lord, will those who are saved be few?” Jesus replied, “Strive to enterthrough the narrow door. For many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will notbe able” (Luke 13:23-24). If Jesus was not hopeful, I see little purposein dreaming up scenarios by which the unevangelized are saved.

The Story ofScripture

The Scriptures present a God who brooks no rivals and who isnot impressed with human machinations to either approach him or approximatehim. It is God who, following the sin of Adam and Eve, promises that a childwould one day be born who would crush the deceiver and rescue his people (Gen3:15). It is God who, of his own choosing, selects an unworthy man through whomto display grace to the nations and initiate his plan for redemption (Abrahamin Genesis 12). It is God who, time and again judges his own people and thenations for failing to honor him (e.g., Deut 28: 15-68; Isa 40-48; Acts 5:1-11).It is God who, “in the fullness of time,. . . sent forth his Son, born of woman,born under the law, to redeem those whowere under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons” (Gal 4:4). Andit is God who calls all nations everywhere to repent, “because he has fixed aday on which he will judge the world in righteousness by a man whom he hasappointed; and of this he has given assurance to all by raising him from thedead” (Acts 17:30-31). Contemplation of the possibilities of salvation apartfrom faith in Christ must be consistent with the biblical storyline.

UnfaithfulImplications of Speculation

Christ gave a clear mandate to preach the good news of theKingdom (e.g., Matt 28:18-20; Acts 1:8). The apostles were faithful to thatcommission and made it their goal to take the gospel to the whole world (Acts10:42). Paul’s life ambition was to preach the gospel wherever Christ had notalready been named (Rom 15:21). What happens to missionary zeal when Christianslabor to gather support for a shared optimism concerning the fate of theunevangelized? Admittedly, negative implications of a position are notdefeaters of that position. But when those implications repudiate the logic ofmission and the explicit commands to evangelize the nations, then one has towonder about the legitimacy of that position. Rather than philosophizing andtheologizing about the possibilities of salvation apart from faith in Christ,we would do better to recognize that the biblical response to the question of“What about those who have never heard?” is a forceful call: “Go tell them!”

Guest Post by Author Brock Eastman

2011-10-25T07:03:00.000-07:00

Today's guest post comes from author Brock Eastman, who is an author and also product marketer at Focus on the Family. Some mutual friends introduced me and Brock and I asked him to do a post here at BHR. I was pretty astounded by his story!

Here's his introduction:

My name is Brock Eastman, and I have a beautiful supportive wife and two cute little girls. I’m committed to family first and books second, so some times I find myself writing in the wee hours of the night. But God gives us strength and creativity.

Please find my author page on facebook, Brock D. Eastman and give me a Like if you will. You can find all my books on Amazon, the Focus online store, or to get signed copies visit my website BrockEastman.com. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy my work. The best part of writing is putting smiles on kids faces.

Writing to change lives, that’s what I want to do. I’m amarketer at heart; in fact that’s my day job at Focus on the Family. ProductMarketing where I get to work on cool projects like Adventures in Odyssey, theScrewtape Letters, or TrueU: Does God Exist?

I’m not a writer; at least I didn’t set out to be. I’m noteven a fast reader; ask my wife how long it takes me to get through a book. Iread all of about; oh three books when I was in middle school and high school. Ididn’t read anything for entertainment purposes until I was in college. It wassort of a competition between my future wife and me; too be the first to completea particular book series. I did win, just for the record. I didn’t enjoyreading, so you can see why I never had any plans to write a book.

A discussion with a friend about the serious lack of familyfriendly and safe entertainment in the secular market spurred me on. Not safelike, ‘hey this story is boring,’ no safe as in you’re not going to find cursewords and unnecessarily graphic depictions of death and romance. I wanted towrite something Christian and non-Christian kids could enjoy.

I was learning to be open to God and trust whatever it wasHe had planned for my life. I knew when I started writing The Quest for Truthin 2005 that it was about one in a million chance I’d ever be looked at by apublisher, more or less get a book onto store shelves. I’m not that great withgrammar and I don’t really have the patience for writing thousands of words,but this wasn’t about me. So five years later, with a completed 100k wordmanuscript in hand and some encouragement from my wonderful editor (wife.) Isigned a contract for 5 books with P&R Publishing. The Quest for Truthwould start with Taken (which released in July 2011) and was to be pulled fromthe first half of the original manuscript, Evad. The second half, became Risk,and will release February 2012. The two manuscripts now total more than 160kwords. Whoa! So with a publishing commitment for 5 books, I was going to beplenty busy. Right?

About a month later I was driving down the road, and Godlaid another story on my heart. With the excitement over the Twilight series, Iknew that dark tales of werewolves and vampires (positioned often as heroes)were beginning to dominate the young adult marketplace. It was time to write astory that put them in their proper place, as nothing short of demons. So Ipitched the Sages of Darkness trilogy to Destiny Image and they loved it.HowlSage (about a werewolf demon) just released September 2011. I’m currentlyworking on book 2, BlizzardSage.

Finally with 8 books now due to publishers over the next twoand a half years, I had one last contract to sign. At Focus on the Family we’djust launched our new Imagination Station series, and I really wanted to be apart of it. I’d grown up on Adventures in Odyssey and had even come to work atFocus with hopes to someday be involved with the brand. I am now the quasibrand manager for AIO (Thanks God.) So I signed a contract to write Showdownwith the Shepherd, the David and Goliath story, told as an Imagination Stationadventure. So that made 9 books contracted yikes.

Remember I said I’m not a writer, nor that good at grammar(Just read this blog post.) The point of all this is, God is sovereign and Heprovides. He has plans for our life and sometimes they aren’t exactly what wemight expect. I want to encourage you to be open to whatever might be laid onyour heart. If we make ourselves available God will do some really cool things throughus.

Guest post by author C.J. Darlington: How do you know you're called?

2011-10-24T07:35:00.000-07:00

You may recall that this month I've invited a lot of different people to send in guest posts to celebrate the release of Night of the Living Dead Christian. I've tried to get a diverse set of people with interesting points of view on a wide variety of topics. Our guest today, C.J. Darlington, is one of those ubiquitous internet personalities who seems to be everywhere! C.J. and I have never really interacted, but I thought I'd drop her a note anyway, and I'm glad I did. She's as pleasant and enjoyable as you would expect from reading her writings. In addition to being an author (more on her books in the post below), she's also the co-founder of TitleTrakk.com, a Christian book, movie and music review site. I think you'll enjoy her insights into the concept of following our callings in life.

When I was a teen I remember worrying long and hard about what I was supposed to do with my life. I desperately wanted to be in God’s will, but I wasn’t sure how I would know. All of us can attest to the fact that you certainly don’t have to be a teen to wonder if you’re on the right path for your life!

Now that I’m an adult, I still have questions, but that’s when I need to remind myself of a few ways you can seek out the Lord’s will.

What did you love to do for fun as a kid? Often God will give us natural inclinations as children that coincide with our calling as adults. Have you always had a fascination with stories, books or writing? Chances are God’s put that in your heart. It’s not about skill. You can develop skills, but you can’t fabricate a calling.

If I had looked closely as a teen, I would’ve seen He was already leading and guiding me through my childhood dreams. I loved to read. One of my favorite activities was visiting the library, and I’d come home with bags full of books. I loved writing little stories about animals. My sister and I started a newspaper/magazine we peddled around the neighborhood for fifty cents.

When I was fifteen I started writing a story about two sisters. I had no idea that story would eventually become my first published novel, Thicker than Blood. Those first pages were horrible, but I kept at it because it was something I couldn’t not do. That’s another way to recognize a God-given dream. Does it burn within you? I asked Jerry B. Jenkins once how beginning writers could know they were called to write, and he said if you can’t not write you may be called to write.

It’s the same with whatever interests you. God often puts desires and dreams in our hearts at an early age to guide us into our calling. And why wouldn’t He? Doesn’t it make sense He’d plant ideas in our hearts as children? As Psalms 139 says, “All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” It’s only as we get older that those dreams begin to fade due to the distractions and pressures of life. Take time and look back. Remember what you dreamed about as a kid. Maybe you’ll discover God’s been calling you for longer than you think.

But what if you didn’t follow the desires you had as a child. What if you really didn’t have any dreams at all? It’s never too late. And even if you were supposed to start something sooner, don’t despair. I like to think of life’s journey as walking down a road. The easiest way would be to stay on the straight path. But many of us veer off course. We might take a turn that wasn’t God’s direction for us. Note to self---don’t sweat it. God’s a God of love, forgiveness and grace. All we have to do is ask Him to get us back on track. And you know what? He will. No matter how many wrong turns you take, God can reprogram your life’s GPS and still get you to that final destination… the fulfillment of your dreams and His plans.

Here’s something I’m learning---nothing is ever wasted by God. Did you dream of being a writer but for whatever reason became a lawyer instead? Great! Maybe you can write a legal thriller. Your life experiences can help you create a character you might not have written otherwise. Did you become a nurse instead of writing the next Great American novel? Maybe you’ll share your knowledge and experience writing nonfiction articles about health. Or maybe you’ll write a historical novel, featuring a struggling doctor serving in the Vietnam War.

Even though I wrote stories when I was young and dreamed of someday publishing a book, writing wasn’t exactly paying the bills. So I followed another interest of mine---rare books. I became a book scout and sold used and rare books to local bookstores before eventually co-founding my own online bookstore with my sister, Tracy.

I was able to incorporate a lot of what I learned about rare books and the book business into my novel Thicker than Blood as well as my second book Bound by Guilt. It might not have looked like I was on track for reaching my dreams during those grueling book scouting years, but God knew all along the experiences I’d need to write the novels I’m writing today. It was all part of God’s plan for my life after all.

Don’t give up on the discouraging days, because they will come. Proverbs 16:3 says, “Commit your work to the Lord and your plans will succeed.” If you do, then you can’t fail. He’ll make sure you get where you need to be at just the right time.

Guest Post from author Nathan Foster: Church

2011-10-20T13:56:00.000-07:00

A mutual friend suggested I check out Nathan Foster's Wisdom Chaser: Finding My Father at 14,000 Feet, a spiritual memoir about re-connecting with God and his father (also an author... Richard Foster). I asked Nathan if he would give us a guest post, and here's what he sent in. I enjoyed it a great deal, and I'm sure you will, too. In which case, be sure to check out Nathan's book.

It had been a rough night in the little cave I’d slept in. The ground was bumpy and angled at a slope. Last night the allure of sleeping in a rocky mountain cave seemed worth the inconvenience. But, I didn’t anticipate the hours would be filled with sleepy visions of a lost bear stumbling upon my borrowed patch of earth. I don’t think I’ll ever sleep in a cave again.

It was a Sunday morning and all around the world countless faithful sheep were stumbling into sanctuaries, with worn hope and the fresh wounds of the week’s chaos. I thought of them as I knelt beside my little fire and brewed the morning coffee.

It was just before dawn; all the forest creatures knew it. Some softly scurried about their morning activities trying not to disturb the quite hush of the approaching sunrise. Others lay waiting in anticipation.

The chorus always begins with that impatient bird that can no longer contain its enthusiasm and ignites the morning chirping. Little by little the whole choir of birds join in, welcoming a new day with harmonious procession, declaring with all the beauty they can muster from their tiny breath that the world is bathed in the joy and love of God.

All around me God’s great book of creation was being preached.

I gently listened to the poetic growl of a distant river that flowed all day and night, never taking a holiday off. It echoed God’s faithfulness.

I watched the trees dance in the breeze and I thought of the how important it is to be flexible if I’m to follow the ebbs and flows of the spirit.

I watched a spider race towards a recent catch in his web and I thought of the oppression and devastation that marks so many people’s daily lives.

I watched a newly sprouted flower and was reminded that beauty is everywhere if only I take the time to find it.

I listened for the rocks to cry out in praise, I didn’t hear anything. But I remembered the importance of being steadfast and solid in my gratitude; that my quality of life often hinges on being thankful for today’s breath and the people, things and insights that I have and don’t have.

The scurrying butterfly reminded me of the resilience, uniqueness and creativity of others.

And as a hawk submitted to the wind and majestically soared, I remembered the freedom I feel when we let go of trying to have my own way.

I studied the plants, grass and trees scattered about in a chaotic fashion and remembered that in the chaos of life, God remains in the business of making beautiful landscapes out of our messes.

And as my Sunday service concluded, I breathed the morning air, a symbol that every day is a new chance to begin again.

Library Journal weighs in on Night of the Living Dead Christian

2011-10-17T20:56:00.000-07:00

From Library Journal:

In the allegorical sequel to Imaginary Jesus, Mikalatos, the author and main character, discovers the monsters lurking within his neighborhood as he meets his neighbors and questions what makes a monster and what makes a Christian. From a late-night encounter with a mad scientist and his robotic henchman to a zombie stampede to meeting a werewolf, Matt’s self-contained world explodes as he tries to reconcile his theology with new knowledge. When the werewolf, Luther Martin, asks for Matt’s help in becoming Christian and shedding the monster within, Matt embarks on a quest to help his new friend regain his humanity before a rabid werewolf hunter destroys Luther. Their quest takes them to a church where the zombie followers have experienced a partial resurrection, caught up in the trappings of religion, with no free will. Then they visit another neighbor, a former vampire, who gives them hope the monster can be defeated but also warns that people don’t always recognize the monsters within.VERDICT C.S. Lewis’s The Screwtape Letters meets the current obsession with paranormal creatures in this thought-provoking quest for individual belief and truth within the framework of society as a whole.

Book signing today!

2011-10-15T07:21:00.000-07:00

If you happen to be in the Portland, Oregon area today, you're officially invited to the book release party for Night of the Living Dead Christian. I'll do a reading and short question and answer time, and will (of course) sign books! I've also got posters for the first forty people to buy books!

It's from 1-3 p.m. at the LifeWay Christian store in Beaverton, OR! Here's more information.

Bring your friends!

Okay, fine, you can bring your enemies, too.

See you there!

Wonderful Wednesday: Four Wonderful Things

2011-10-12T10:20:00.000-07:00

Today at Wonderful Wednesday, I am sharing four wonderful things with you. One is a gift for you to take advantage of and pass along to all your friends. One is a sort of geek test I stole off someone's facebook. And two are wonderful things from the internet sent to me by the intrepid internet spelunker, Nurse Shasta.

NUMERO UNO:

For a limited time, in celebration of my second novel, Night of the Living Dead Christian, you can get the IMAGINARY JESUS e-book FREE.

At Amazon!

At Barnes and Noble!

At Christian Book Distributors!

You can also buy Night of the Living Dead Christian as an ebook at Amazon, B and N, or CBD. You won't regret it.

And if you already love Imaginary Jesus, you'll also love the audio book. It's like a one-man play version of IJ, read by yours truly.

NUMERO DOS:

I hate to say it, but if you think this is funny without someone explaining it to you, you are an enormous Geek. I know that's a compliment these days, but it's true. I stole this from Greg Horton on Facebook.

NUMERO TRES:

The goats of Morocco like to climb trees. To eat berries. Silly goats! Berries are for kids!

NUMERO QUATRO:

Cows. Do they love remote controlled cars or fear them? This hard-hitting investigative video will answer that question and more:

Another Sighting of Night of the Living Dead Christian in the Wild!

2011-10-11T07:04:00.000-07:00

If I am correct (and I believe I am), this is the first picture that has been sent in of Night of the Living Dead Christian on an e-reader. Courtesy of this lovely lady, Amie Campbell, sent from the Salt Lake City airport.

In other news, this dog seems to be making good headway through the book! His name is Banksy, and he's a King Charles Cavalier Spaniel. Dogs love this book, because the main character is a werewolf. This picture was sent in by Adam "Just Some Guy" Sabados.

Awesome Rosh Hashana video

2011-10-10T15:20:00.000-07:00

Rosh Hashana happened recently, and for those of you who missed it or don't know what it is or who have never seen awesome Israeli dancing and singing that teaches you about Jewish culture, watch this:

Guest Post from Author J. Mark Bertrand: The Straight Truth

2011-10-10T07:20:00.000-07:00

To say that J. Mark Bertrand has range as a writer is a ridiculous understatement. He has written a non-fiction book about worldview, a romance novel and, my personal favorite, the first two books of a series of hard-boiled detective novels. I'm picky about my detective fiction. I only read a few (living) mystery authors: Connely, MacDonald, Rozan, P.D. James. And Bertrand. He's on my list now, one of those rare authors who has me scouring the internet for information about when the next book releases. I enjoyed J. Mark Bertrand's first book about detective Roland March, Back on Murder. I loved the second one, Pattern of Wounds. Here, Bertrand shares about something I love in his Roland March novels: why it's important to write fiction that reflects the world as it is, not the world as we wish it be. Enjoy the post, then go pick up one of Bertrand's books. You won't be disappointed.

Authors sometimeswrite themselves into their fiction. In my first Roland March novel, Back on Murder, Detective March isassigned to investigate the apparent suicide of a fellow cop. On the dead man’sphone, he finds a low res photo of a nude woman. He thinks he recognizes her,despite the poor quality: she’s someone he has already interviewed, who seemedto be lying about her relationship to the deceased.

Now March faces adilemma. This dead colleague was married, and March has already spoken to thedistraught widow. She’s suffered enough without having her late husband’sinfidelity coming to light. All he has to do to prevent that from happening iserase the photo. His thumb hovers over the button as he considers.

What would you do? Here’s March’s answer:

“Idon’t have the whitewash gene. Part of me wants to cover for him -- not so muchfor his sake as for hers -- but I know deep down that the unvarnished truth isbetter than even a well-meaning deception. I’m not here to pretty things up, togive [the widow] or anyone else a reassuring vision of the world as she thinksit is. All I have to do is uncover the way things really are. I didn’t makethem that way, and I don’t have the power to change them. Even if it’s temptingto think I do.”

The temptation to“pretty things up” isn’t exclusive to detectives. Writers feel it, too,particularly those of us working under the Christian fiction label. Some do itwithout thinking, as a matter of habit, while others are pressured into it.Pushing the button and making the objectionable truth disappear isn’t thathard, after all, and you can tell yourself it won’t make a difference to thequality of the story.

But as I said, someauthors write themselves into their fiction, and I’m one of them. Like March, Idon’t have the whitewash gene. I didn’t make the world the way it is, and Idon’t have the power to make it different. My goal as a writer isn’t toreassure or to inspire. It’s simply to tell the truth.

The Revised EnglishBible translates Ecclesiastes 12.10 this way: “He chose his words to givepleasure, but what he wrote was straight truth.” If I had a life verse as awriter, that would be it, my twin ambitions being to give pleasure throughwell-crafted writing, while at the same time conveying a deep, even unsettlinghonesty.

When we succumb tothe pressure to provide what March calls a “well-meaning deception,” oftenthere are unintended consequences. Tidy and sentimental fictions don’t changeour view of reality; they only undermine our confidence in the vision of thosewho see the world that way. What are they afraid of admitting? Can’t theirphilosophy stand up to the cold light of day? All those little deletions addup, and you find yourself laboring at a disadvantage. This is why FlanneryO’Connor wouldn’t call her writing “Christian”:

“Unfortunately,the word Christian is no longer reliable. It has come to mean anyone with agolden heart. And a golden heart would be a positive interference in thewriting of fiction.”

In Back on Murder, March learns a littlebit about the unintended consequences of suppressing the truth. That photo hewas tempted to delete? It’s not exactly what he supposes at first. The pictureis part of a different story, a deeper layer he would never have discovered ifhe’d followed through on his impulse to censor.

I’ve discovered thesame thing myself. The little truths we hide are often what keep us fromfinding the greater truths, the ones that are only found at the end of long anduncomfortable roads.

Scalzi, Youth Worker's Journal and Near Emmaus....

2011-10-07T11:18:00.000-07:00

Wow. Yesterday was a busy day for Night of the Living Dead Christian. Here are some cool links you should check out.

1) I did a guest post on John Scalzi's blog. If you don't know who John is, he's an amazing science fiction writer who is probably most famous for the book Old Man's War. It's good stuff. And his blog is consistently entertaining. To be honest, writing a post on his blog was a huge honor and I was geeking out over it for a while yesterday. Because I am a geek.

2) There's a short interview with yours truly up over at Youth Worker's Journal. Included as part of it is one of the "extras" in the back of NLDC... ARE YOU A MONSTER: A LAYMAN'S SELF-DIAGNOSIS GUIDE TO COMMON MONSTROSITIES. You should check it out. It's a lot of fun.

3) A great review of the book by Brian LePort at Near Emmaus. Brian just sent me some questions for an interview... he's quite good at this sort of thing. If you want to see a review from a guy who doesn't like fiction but loves theology, this is the one for you.

Don't forget to keep sending me pictures of you with Night of the Living Dead Christian, or when you see them at the store. I'll put them up here on the blog!

Riddle me This, Batman!

2011-10-07T08:33:00.001-07:00

I mentioned that Marc Cortez, our guest poster for today, is a bit of a geek. As if to prove it, I found this video on his blog this morning:

Guest blog from Seminary Professor and Author, Marc Cortez: Life and Death: Twin Moons Circling the Same Planet

2011-10-07T06:49:00.000-07:00

Today's guest post to celebrate Night of the Living Dead Christian comes from Marc Cortez, who runs my favorite blog on the internet. I am not exaggerating. Favorite blog. Internet. Marc has an amazing ability to be a deep thinker about theology (he is, after all, a seminary professor and can write books like Theological Anthropology: A Guide for the Perplexed and Embodied Souls, Ensouled Bodies: An Exercise in Christological Anthropology and Its Significance for the Mind/Body Debate ) and simultaneously a guy with encyclopedic knowledge about all sorts of Geekery including science fiction novels and a surprisingly diverse number of television shows. You can feel comfortable asking Marc hard theological questions or bringing up the Godzilla vs. King Kong debate, and he can converse freely on either topic without meeting a beat. Marc has a real ability to bring balance and historical perspective to difficult theological questions in a way that is uncommon and much needed. You can connect with him on facebook and twitter, and if you enjoy this post, be sure to check out his series of posts related to a book he is writing about the gospel. For now, sit back and drink deeply of this post about Life, Death and Blood....

Hungry.

It’s been too long. I feel weak. Dizzy. Can’t think.

There. Down there. A woman. She’ll do. She has to.

Drop behind her. Cloak flapping in the wind. Didn’t make too much noise. Perfect.

Grab her shoulder. Push her head to the side. Savor the smell.

It’s time. Bite. Pierce the tender skin. Let the hot blood flow. Taste life. Feel it.

My strength returns. My mind clears. For the first time in days, my cold flesh feels warm again. I’m still dead. Nothing can change that. But, now I get to be dead for another day. She took care of that with her unwilling gift.

Blood is life.
------------------------------
Everything was so good just a few seconds ago. The concert was amazing and I haven’t had a girls’ night out in so long. A quiet walk home under the full moon seemed like the perfect ending to a lovely, summer evening.

Now something has changed. I can’t pin it down, but it’s not right. I’ve got that tingling feeling on the back of my neck that you get when you think someone is staring at you. But, there’s no one here. I’m probably being irrational. Maybe I shouldn’t have walked home alone.

What’s that? It sounds like a flag flapping in a stiff breeze. That’s odd. There’s no wind.

Someone’s grabbed me! I have to struggle, fight, scream, get away, anything. But, I can’t. Something’s wrong. I’m getting weak, dizzy. I can’t think clearly. Everything’s fading. Where am I? What’s going on? What’s happening to me?

I'm on the ground. How did I get here? A few bright red drops hit the ground in front of my eyes. Blood? My blood? I must….

Blood is death.
---------------------------------
One substance, two very different results. Life and death. Twin moons circling the same planet.

That’s how the Bible views blood. On the one hand, blood is what keeps us alive and allows us to be what God intended. In Eden, God created blood, and it was good. But, sin and evil entered the world and shattered God’s good creation. And, blood came to mean something else. Still the source of life, it also became the symbol of death.

You can see this most clearly in the biblical sacrifices. If you stop and think about it for a moment, sacrifices are weird. Imagine that you’re an Israelite and you’ve just sinned. What should you do? Why, go lop the head off some poor, innocent ram, of course. That’s a great system. At least it is for the human; I’m sure the ram sees things differently.

The point of the sacrifice, though, wasn’t to take out Israel’s problems on some innocent animal. That would be weird. No, the sacrifices demonstrated the devastating connection between sin and death. With clocklike regularity, the Israelites brought their animals to the priests and shed blood as a reminder of the fact that they lived east of Eden, in the brokenness of sin, in bondage to death. As Paul says later, “the wages of sin is death” (Rom. 3:23). And, every time the Israelites brought forward their sin sacrifices, they reminded themselves of this truth.

At the same time, though, the blood brought a promise of life. Israel always knew that somehow it was only by shedding blood that forgiveness and life would be restored to God’s people. God promised he would forgive and cleanse his people when they brought their sacrifices to him.

But why? What is the connection between blood and death on the one hand and the promise of forgiveness and life on the other? The Old Testament never says. The Israelites just take it on faith that God will be faithful and will do what he promises.

Then Jesus came.

And, we killed him, shedding his blood on the cross.

And the truth became clear.

We still see the dark side of blood. The betrayals, beatings, mockery, loneliness, pain, blood, and death. Could there be a clearer picture? The Messiah came, and we killed him.

But the blood of Christ means so much more. Jesus died so he could break the power of death. His death was not the pointless sacrifice of a tragic Shakespearean hero. It had purpose. Jesus died so that we might be reborn as those who have the gift of life.

Blood is death. Blood is life. On the cross, both are true.

“This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.”

Come and drink. An invitation to vampires everywhere.

Doodling and why it should be encouraged, especially in meetings

2011-10-06T12:49:00.000-07:00

As you probably guessed from the previous post, I enjoy art enough to doodle nonsensical things during meetings, but I'm not talented enough to do something of substance. Chris Dennis of Island Framery fame sent me this video, in which a Doodling Expert explains why Doodling Is The Best! Enjoy.

Night of the Living Dead Christian, ILLUSTRATED!

2011-10-06T06:35:00.000-07:00

My acquisitions editor, Sarah Atkinson, made a big deal about the fact that she didn't get a signed copy of Imaginary Jesus right away when it came out. She complained SO MUCH and SO PUBLICLY that I had to do something with the new book to make her feel that she had received something special. I made her a version of NLDC that, in addition to being signed, was also heavily illustrated by yours truly. I'm not the best artist, but it does make for a unique edition of the book. Here are some of my favorite illustrations.

Werewolves are probably the
best monsters for cuddling.

Narrator and one of the main characters,
Chief Officer of the Neighborhood Watch,
MATT MIKALATOS.

Some of the characters from the book.
The werewolf I was drawing in the lower right
hand corner inexplicably became a cat.

Worst thing about being a werewolf:
getting the hair off your suits.

In my opinion, even children should be
taught how to kill monsters.

This one is titled "Hands Are Hard To Draw."

I like it when study Bibles have more content
in the footnotes than in the Bible itself.

Everything is derivative of Star Wars.

A picture of me with my cousin.

Guest Post by Religion Professor, Greg Horton: Books I Recommend for Evangelicals

2011-10-05T14:39:00.000-07:00

One of the things I wanted to accomplish in having so many guest posts this month was to introduce you to some new voices. Monday we had a Christian horror novelist talking about why pastors should be reading fiction, and yesterday we had Christian romance novelist Jamie Carie talking about how a book cover is designed and made. Today we have a post from one of my new favorite people, Greg Horton. I met Greg when he posted on his blog tearing Imaginary Jesus all to pieces. He hated it. But in the conversation that ensued we got to know each other a bit, and I've come to really enjoy Greg's blog as well as our friendship. Greg is a religion professor, and a former evangelical, in fact a former evangelical pastor. In fact, to get very exact about it, Greg is a former Christian. Now regardless of Greg's ex-Christian beliefs, he's one of the sharpest, most intelligent and most well-read scholars of religion and specifically Christianity that I know. He's serious about it, and the thing that seems to consistently tick him off is people misquoting and misrepresenting Jesus. I thought it would be interesting, given Greg's intimate knowledge of evangelicalism, to get his thoughts about books that we evangelicals should be reading. I trust you'll find his thoughts interesting!

A megachurch here in Oklahoma City once posted its pastor’s recommended reading list on the church’s official website. Included in the top 10 was one devotional the title of which eludes me, the ubiquitous “Mere Christianity” by the non-evangelical C.S. Lewis, and eight business and church growth books. This signals something of an identity crisis for the evangelical church, but Renovare, a parachurch group well-known for its mystical emphasis (think Richard Foster’s “Celebration of Discipline” and you’re there), just this year posted a list of 25 books every Christian should read as a counterpoint to the megachurch list. Not surprisingly, the list included “spiritual classics” that no one should ever read unless you’re looking for creative ways to punish a child. Nothing enhances the horrors of time-out more than Julian of Norwich.

On one side, we’ve got the business and marketing infection that has created the megachurch plague, and on the other, we have the mystical emphasis that has created a class of Christians devoid of the rationality required to read Scripture communally. Scripture reading is a communal act; the Hebrew people understood that. The focus on expository preaching has only served to make the Bible a textbook that is to be studied more than entered into—what Hans Frei called the narrative world of Scripture—and generations of extracting “promises” from individual texts has further destroyed the narrative context of a sweeping metanarrative that was never intended to promise much of anything except redemption.

Third, and last, is the bizarre cipher that is a Christian bookstore. For decades, the largest section in these ghettoized temples of schlock was Christian Living, a category one assumes would be covered by the Bible, common courtesy, and the occasional ass-whipping as a child. However, for some reason, Christians purchased these books by the millions, as if somewhere inside the next book was the secret to living like Jesus. Brian McLaren once said he knew his evangelicalness was slipping when he could tell where one of these books was headed after reading the first few pages. (That’s a paraphrase. Read the intro to “New Kind of Christian” if you want the exact words.) That’s because they don’t go anywhere. Christian living is summed up more succinctly in the Sermon on the Mount than in any Christian Living title, but no one takes it seriously. For all the emphasis placed on the plain meaning of the text when it comes to marriage, sex, homosexuality, and various political issues around which evangelicals rally, they are bizarrely liberal when it comes to Matthew 5-7.

That’s the perfect place for a segue. Matt asked me to recommend books for evangelicals, and I’ll start with the Sermon on the Mount. Not the actual one, but with a group of people who take it seriously: Anabaptists. Evangelicals need Anabaptists like they need real wine in communion; it creates a sense of balance and authenticity. Start with John Howard Yoder’s “The Politics of Jesus.” If you find it difficult, good; redemptive reading should not always be entertaining. It should challenge, stretch, and irritate. It should force you to a dictionary, to Wikipedia, to a theologian, to reflection, and to conversation. Part of the problem is we want entertainment, and there is a place for that, but if evangelicals are to recover their brains, they have to read hard things.

That’s it for theology. No more theology for now. You’ve read too damn many Christian books in your life already. Move on to Shusaku Endo’s “Silence.” Read about cross-cultural ministry and compromise. Pick up Graham Greene’s “The Power and the Glory” and read about the whisky priest’s irrevocable calling and his painful frailty. Pretend C.S. Lewis never wrote for a while; if you really knew his theology, you’d realize you shouldn’t be reading him anyway. Next, dip back into our racist roots and read “Uncle Tom’s Cabin.” It’s about sin and jubilee. When you’re ready, leave the Christians behind, even the good ones, and pick up scary books. Commit to buy the Pulitzer winner each year. I’m seldom disappointed with it, unlike the loathsome National Book Award winner. Ugh. Avoid those. Some of them have been transformative: Michael Chabon, Richard Russo, Edward Jones, Marilynne Robinson, Junot Diaz, Jhumpa Lahiri.

Real literature considers the human condition from a variety of perspectives: despair, hope, sex, love, hate, death, god, godlessness. It broadens our experience of the world, opens our ears to different voices, opens our hearts to “the other,” and makes us better people. The one-dimensional nature of Christian fiction has created a truncated experience of the world. The world is mostly R-rated, occasionally pornographic, and only rarely PG. (Children already know this when their parents are trying to protect them from it.) Read widely. Read without offense. Read without fear. Just read what’s good.

Wonderful Wednesday: The Art of M.S. Corley

2011-10-05T07:24:00.000-07:00

Last week I stumbled on the blog of M.S. Corley. I was actually looking at book covers online and discovered his Harry Potter covers that were made to look like old Penguin books. Like this:

As I looked through Mr. Corley's work, I saw a lot of things to like. This picture of Jonah is a favorite:

It turns out that he's also a professional comic book artist as well, most recently working on The Strange Case of Mr. Hyde, in which a detective requires the help of Mr. Hyde (yup, that one) to track down and stop the terrors of Jack the Ripper (yup, that guy).

I found his work so much to my liking that I dropped him a note saying how much I loved it, and then we started emailing back and forth and then we talked on the phone and, well, suffice it to say we're cooking up some interesting things together which I hope to eventually share with everybody here. In the meantime, go check out his blog and dig around a little, there's a lot of fun stuff on it!

Video from the Polish festival... me and M dancing

2011-10-04T16:17:00.000-07:00

I did my best to make her look like a muppet. The video was taken by the intrepid Tristan Boyce!

The Burning Hearts Revolution

Ha ha ha ha... stupid vampires! Audi always wins.

SAVE FERRIS!

Tyndale Podcast with Very Special Guest Star MATT MIKALATOS, the author of My Imaginary Jesus and Night of the Living Dead Christian

At the Mercy Centre in Bangkok

HOW MANY SONGS DOES THAT THING HOLD?

Wonderful Wednesday: Cats

Ahhhhhhhh, Thailand!

Guest post from Ryan Cleveland: How to Hide Mt. Everest: a Diary of a 300 pound Pastor (sort of)

Canada!

We're on our way to Thailand!

I think I might need to turn the heat up in my house

Moonrise Kingdom is coming soon!

Of Monsters and Men

Wonderful Wednesday: my baby drinking coffee

The 300 Pound Pastor: Guest Post from theologian and author, Gary Thomas

Happy Valentine's Day to Me

Sometimes when you wish for a ukelele you get what you wanted

Wonderful Wednesday: God Save the Queen

WHAM! presents, "Last Christmas"

Dreams: The next Muppet movie

Ridiculous Reviewers on Amazon: Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol

More sightings of Night of the Living Dead Christian in the wild!

It's time for some music appreciation classes

NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD CHRISTIAN: The Blog Tour! In 3-D! With Bonus Free Book Feature! Like Nothing You've Ever Seen!

An excellent reminder of our limitations, as presented by my two-year-old

Wonderful Wednesday: Haiku Traffic signs in NYC

Wonderful Wednesday (?) : Batman Christmas Special!

Eavesdropping With Matt (Episode Sixty: If you're going to talk like a geek, at least get your facts straight)

Starring Darth Vader as the Grinch

Can the Bulldog be saved?

Most popular posts in November

Night of the Living Dead Christian... IN JAMAICA!

Preaching this weekend at the First Church of God in Vancouver, WA

Wonderful Wednesday: Time lapse view of the Earth from space

Appearance at the Oregon Faith and Culture Writer's Connection this Thursday night

Why I'm deleting your app

Places Where My Toothpaste Has Traveled, And Where It Now Rests

I am on an airplane!

Behold! The Laughing Monk!

Sometimes I Think About Changing the Title of this Blog

Wonderful Wednesday: Racist Coffee

Night of the Living Dead Christian... sequel?

Where in the world is Matt Mikalatos?

I wish Amazon would fix this

Eavesdropping with Matt (Episode Fifty-Nine: Mama didn't raise no zombies!)

More sightings of Night of the Living Dead Christian in the wild!

Wonderful Wednesday: What if you mixed "Jaws" with Charlie Brown?

Top posts for October

A new blog, and lots of books in the give away!

Guest Post from blogger The Notorious MLE: the Chinese superheroes in my neighborhood

Links for Living Dead Christians

Dracula The Unconquered!

UK man calls the cops about a UFO... which turns out to be the moon

Eavesdropping with Matt (Episode Fifty-Eight: Martians are weird!)

LINKS! The sausage of the internet 10/28/11

FREE copy of HowlSage by Brock Eastman

Even babies love Night of the Living Dead Christian!

Just in case you are missing the melifluous sound of my voice

Imaginary Jesus, we love you

Guest Post by Author and Seminary Professor Todd Miles: What about those who haven't heard the good news of the Kingdom?

Guest Post by Author Brock Eastman

Guest post by author C.J. Darlington: How do you know you're called?

Guest Post from author Nathan Foster: Church

Library Journal weighs in on Night of the Living Dead Christian

Book signing today!

Wonderful Wednesday: Four Wonderful Things

Another Sighting of Night of the Living Dead Christian in the Wild!

Awesome Rosh Hashana video

Guest Post from Author J. Mark Bertrand: The Straight Truth

Scalzi, Youth Worker's Journal and Near Emmaus....

Riddle me This, Batman!

Guest blog from Seminary Professor and Author, Marc Cortez: Life and Death: Twin Moons Circling the Same Planet

Doodling and why it should be encouraged, especially in meetings

Night of the Living Dead Christian, ILLUSTRATED!

Guest Post by Religion Professor, Greg Horton: Books I Recommend for Evangelicals

Wonderful Wednesday: The Art of M.S. Corley

Video from the Polish festival... me and M dancing