Wednesday, October 31, 2012
1. "Marinating in Laughter." Movies that aren't really very scary at all, more funny than scary.
2. "Marinating in Nervous Sweat." These are scary and definitely make you scared, but they aren't going to keep you up at night clutching a baseball bat.
3. "Marinating in Shame." These are movies that are so terrifying that grown adults sleep with the lights on, close their closer doors and smear the floors with Jell-o, even though they feel stupid for doing so.
So, what are your three picks for scary movies?
Clay shares a story about watching the miniseries "It."
J.R. shares about the terror that came from "The Ring."
And I share a story about when I watched "The Exorcist" in college.
Do you have any stories about when you were terrified? Share them in the comments, we want to know!
I'll post three videos today. Here's the first one, in which we introduce ourselves and talk about monsters... what they mean and the spiritual themes we find in monster mythology and movies. Enjoy.
P.S. I totally won the "camouflage" contest.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Then, after about ten rounds of this song she stopped, looked me in the eye and said, "God is watching over us. And the Power Rangers kill monsters."
Yes, dear, that's right. Sweet dreams.
It's working! I'm excited!
I have to get one of those poison axe detectors before tomorrow....
Monday, October 29, 2012
BUT, one really cool thing was I met an amazing woman named Abby Snow. She met me at the airport with J.R. (the pastor who invited me out) and Amanda (J.R.'s wife).
Abby brought me a hand made robot that she custom designed for me! It's really funny. I love it. Anyway, apparently this is a business she runs. You can see a whole bunch of her various robots on her website. Her robots are called "Snow Machines." Cute, right?
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street even though it's early in the morning and you'd rather be sleeping?
Having gone to the Secret Academy of Fathers, I know that there are three basic ways that are SAF-approved for waking children and getting them out of bed:
1) The use of lights of various intensities and colors
2) A constant barrage of bad puns
3) The use of singing and/or musical instruments
I chose option #3 and since I had just seen baby M starting Sesame Street downstairs, I started to sing this song:
"Sunny days! Chasing the clouds away.
On our way to the where the air is clear!
Can you tell me how to get...
How to get to Sesame Street?"
Shocking. But you know, she never really liked Sesame Street, even as a baby.
And it got her out of bed. Tomorrow: It's a wonderful day in the Neighborhood.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Here's "Noite do Cristão Mortos Vivo"and, yes, that's Portuguese. It just released this month from Thomas Nelson Brasil.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
I also wrote this blog post about why Christians are afraid of atheists for JR. It's his birthday today, so go say happy birthday to him!
Monsters are more than the real, evil forces in the spiritual realm or the fictional special effects creatures in movies. Whether we admit it or not, we can all give into our worst side at times… we zone out like a zombie to certain things and feel like life is on autopilot; something sets us off and an inner werewolf of anger emerges; we turn into a kind of vampire who sucks the life out of others; there’s an assortment of other “B-level” characters that come out on occasion, too. Through this metaphor, we’re going to take a better look not only at ourselves but also what God is capable of doing in us if we let Him. It will be transformational and mash up the undead life we can easily settle for.
Lastly, you have to check out Liverpool's Anglican Cathedral, a service I am definitely wanting to visit sometime. Canon Richard White and I have become friends. He read NLDC and dropped me a line afterward (they had already done their Night of the Living Dead outreach by then, in which Canon White came into the service in a coffin, carried by some of the men in the church. I liked that so much I ripped it off and put it in the new NLDC short story). This event sounds like so much fun... they're actually taking their Gothic cathedral and making "zones" for different monsters... werewolves, vampires and zombies... and showing black and white clips of different monsters together with a message from Canon White. Should be pretty cool. If you're in the UK you need to go check it out and report back to us!
That's what's happening in Ohio and the UK this month. What's going on at your church?
Monday, October 22, 2012
I needed to come back downstairs for something though, so I came down wearing jeans and my collared shirt completely unbuttoned. And, for those of you who haven't seen me without my shirt on, I am a hairy man.
My eleven-year-old, Z, passed me on the stairs.
Z: What costume is that, dad?
Me: I'm dressed as "guy who didn't button his shirt."
Z: No, really, dad.
Z: Are you a werewolf?
|Yup, you got it. I'm a werewolf.|
Friday, October 19, 2012
|Photo by mdiocuh galeals via Flickr CC|
I said, "Which one?"
She said, "The one in the bathroom."
I just stared at her for the longest time, and then said, "Which bathroom?"
I thought for sure she would say, "The one in the house" but instead she said, "The one by my room." Glad we got that cleared up.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
The only thing is, they didn't like to pay me in cash, they usually paid me in bricks of cocaine. My shirts cost one brick of cocaine per shirt, which might sound expensive to you, but these were awesome shirts.
Anyway, this one mob boss wanted me to make him some shirts and he would pay me later and I said, "Hey, you think I'm going to just give you shirts? You're going to stiff me." He said he wouldn't do that but he didn't have two bricks of cocaine with him. I told him no cocaine meant no shirt, no service. Boy, was he mad.
Then the alarm went off.
In retrospect, getting paid in bricks of cocaine seems like it would have a lot of downsides.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
LEAVE WHAT KIND OF MONSTER YOU ARE IN THE COMMENTS!!!!!
You can find the full guide describing your monster type, common habitats, weaknesses and quotes here.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
I know sometimes after a debate you can get discouraged, but I wanted to remind you that YOU CAN DO IT! Just keep practicing.
THUMBS UP FOR ROCK AND ROLL!
Friday, October 12, 2012
Yesterday my interview with Randy Streu at "The Family" went live. Check it out:
This is a really fascinating article and links about the so-called "marshmallow test." Really interesting theories about lying, children, delayed gratification and future success.
Meanwhile. physicists think they've discovered a test to prove whether or not we live in a computer simulation. Judging from what happens when I dodge bullets, I'm guessing the answer is NO.
If you've ever wanted romance tips from a T-Rex it is your luck day. Right now.
You may also enjoy this video reminder to respect your elders:
And, of course, if you're looking for something to read you could always read a free copy of Vampire in the Church Choir, a spin-off story from Night of the Living Dead Christian.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Everyone (singing): "Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in his sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world.
|They are precious in His sight.|
Child #1: Children with different colors of hair?
Leader: Nooooooo. Anyone else?
Child #2: The flag of the United States of America?
For more Eavesdropping with Matt, steel yourself and click on this link.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Tuesday, October 09, 2012
In the summer, all you can see out her window is leaves. The leaves are turning red now, which led to this conversation last week.
M: Daddy, my leaves are supposed to be green.
Me: They're turning red now because summer is over. It's Fall. Soon all the leaves will fall off for the winter.
M: Can you make them green again?
Me: No. But after winter, green leaves will come back.
M: I want the green leaves back.
Me: We can't get them back. You'll have to wait for the new leaves in the Spring.
M (disappointed): Oh.
Monday, October 08, 2012
The Clinic - Matt Mikalatos from remedyLIVE on Vimeo.
You can, of course, buy NLDC by using the "GO" button underneath its picture to your right.
Friday, October 05, 2012
In the meantime, here are some things for you to enjoy:
Speaking of Michigan, The Batman has been arrested there.
You might want to spend your weekend explaining to your loved ones why you are buying this hoodie.
I'm guessing you could use some dancing Power Rangers right about now:
You should already know everything about Double Rainbow if you're on the Internet (WHAT DOES IT MEEEEEEEAAAAN?) but maybe you haven't yet enjoyed this auto-tuned song of it:
In the world of Matt Mikalatos related stuff:
This interview about writing and The Sword of Six Worlds.
My interview chock full of lying about Sword of Six Worlds and Ben Affleck.
You can go read my new short story, A Vampire in the Church Choir for free here.
Or you can go read it on Amazon for 99 cents. Which reminds me, the other day it was climbing up the satire charts and I got this screenshot:
IN YOUR FACE, HITLER!
Okay, a post can't get any better than "In your face, Hitler!" I better call it a day for now. See you soon!
Leave comments with more links we should be entertaining ourselves with!
Thursday, October 04, 2012
Notice the now-out-of-print "Collector's" Imaginary Jesus, an increasingly rare sight around here.
I particularly like the rainbow "special offer" sign on it.
Wednesday, October 03, 2012
And, I can't believe I'm saying this, but this song does have spoilers for The Dark Knight Rises. So be warned.
Regardless, this video made me happier than it should have:
Tuesday, October 02, 2012
I met Steve Bein online on a writer's site, and you may recall that he did a post here for Tolkien Week about using inanimate objects as characters in a novel. Steve's first novel just released today, and anyone who has been around here for a while will recognize plenty of things we like around here: Japan, fantasy, swords, and great writing. Steve and I did an interview, and I think you'll find what he has to share interesting. In the meantime, here's Steve's website, and here's a link to his book on Amazon.
Lara, the newest alto in the struggling church choir, the Sonshine Singers, has a secret. She’s a vampire. Keeping a secret like that – being (sort of) dead – isn’t easy, which is why she came to a Big Box Mega Church in the first place. But now the pastor is preaching on “Monsters In Our Midst” and the congregation is out with pitchforks and torches. Plus, Lara is starting to suspect that the pastor himself is not all he seems, despite the long list of accolades, accomplishments and his slavishly devoted fans. To top it all off, Lara is getting “thirsty” and that long-necked tenor is starting to look like a great big juice box… even worse, the choir's next performance is only three weeks away, and Lara has been “promoted” to soprano. Sounds like a disaster, one way or another, a disaster that Lara is determined to avoid, resist and out-sing. The stakes are high, and the notes are higher, but for the first time in years Lara feels like she has a challenge she can really sink her teeth into.
|Online Reading (HTML, good for sampling in web browser)||View|
|Kindle (.mobi for Kindle devices and Kindle apps)||Download|
|Epub (Apple iPad/iBooks, Nook, Sony Reader, Kobo, and most e-reading apps including Stanza, Aldiko, Adobe Digital Editions, others)||Download|
|PDF (good for reading on PC, or for home printing)||Download|
|RTF (readable on most word processors)||Download|
|LRF (Use only for older model Sony Readers that don't support .epub)||Download|
|Palm Doc (PDB) (for Palm reading devices)||Download|
|Plain Text (download) (flexible, but lacks much formatting)||Download|
|Plain Text (view) (viewable as web page)||View|
Cover art is by M.S. Corley.
Also, for those of you new around here, you can follow me on twitter, check out more about my books, or sign up for my super infrequent e-mail list.