Tuesday, April 03, 2012

Ridiculous Reviews on Amazon: One Star Reviews for Homer's "The Odyssey"


Homer's Odyssey, written at least 2,500 years ago, continues to inspire and amaze its readers. The story of a man trying to return home after the Trojan War, it deals with issues of homecoming, betrayal, hospitality, family, identity, temptation and the relationship between the gods and humanity. It's a great story, beautifully told and has images and scenes that have become a common part of our cultural lexicon. But that doesn't mean it gets good reviews on Amazon (of course!). So, please prepare yourself for ONE STAR REVIEWS FOR HOMER'S ODYSSEY!


Today we have several reviews from the ever-popular "A Customer." Here's the first:


I pity all of those souls who have to endure reading this utter rubbish. Every time I attempt to read it, it puts my wee self to sleep. This book is so boring, and I can not fathom how people (even though if they are pretentious secondary school teachers or literature lecturers)can still find this enjoyable.
Ach no! His wee self has fallen asleep! Put him by the hearth and sing Too-Ra-Loo-Ra-Loo-Ra to him! We had hoped he might fall asleep, the poor little bairn.


Meanwhile, in a nearby classroom, a young lady is about to be sick!
I thought this story was very gross. I mean come on. We are having to read this book in freshman English. Actually our teacher reads it to us, but it is still disgusting. We are also having to watch the movie of this, talk about gruesome. It's like Scylla comes out of the water and chomps these people out of the ship and blood showers everywhere. I almost threw up every day when we watch this movie. We watch a little each day. I am over there about to puke up my toes and everybody else, all the boys anyway, are saying how cool it is. My boyfriend just laughs when I tell him I almost threw up in there, he is a freshman, so he has to watch it also. I'm sure he thinks it is awesome,but I don't. If you really like gory stories you will like it. If you don't then I wouldn't read it or watch the movie if I were you. I am not saying to listen to me, you can have your own opinion, I'm just saying I don't like it.
And, finally, Nick from Cleveland has this to say:
This book sucks. I dont care if Homer was blind or not this book is like 900 pages too long. I could tell this story in about 10 pages. Homer taking all long to say stupid stuff. Teens if you are reading this all I have to say is CLIFF NOTES CLIFF NOTES you will pass the test, unless you are in AP classes. The teachers expect kids to read cliff notes trust me my moms a teacher. P.S this book SUCKS.
Oh, Nick from Cleveland. First of all, this book is only 352 pages long. Second, I'm not sure why Homer being blind has anything to do with your feelings about the length? Also... you might ask your mom to help you investigate "apostrophes" or, as I call them, "Sky Commas."

Now you can enjoy more Ridiculous Reviewers on Amazon. If you dare!

And now, a brief photo montage of things inspired by Homer's Odyssey: