This week my two year old "helped" me make some fried rice, which largely consisted of me making sure she didn't touch anything that could burn her. Just as the dish was finished, I moved the pan off the burner and reached down to move her, just as she set her finger tips on the burner. I thought you might like this helpful guide of things you should do after your kid burns her fingers while under your care. This isn't a medical guide, by the way. If this is an emergency, you should call 911.
1. Shout NO! and snatch her hand away from the stove.
2. Hold her fingers under cold, running water.
3. Look at the tiny blisters on her tiny fingers.
4. Feel like a lousy parent.
5. Put your kid in a cold bath so she'll put her fingers in the water for a little longer.
6. Hold her while she cries over and over that it hurts.
7. Race to the internet to be assured that this is a mild, first degree burn.
8. Run to the store and buy some burn spray ointment.
9. Spray it on your own hand to show her that it doesn't hurt.
10. Spray it on her fingers and feel relieved when she stops crying.
11. Try to convince her to put the Hello Kitty Band-Aids on by letting her put as many of them as she would like on your feet, arms and legs.
12. Eventually give up on getting Band-Aids on her.
13. Eat a grape, forgetting that your hand has burn spray ointment stuff on it.
14. Feel your lips, tongue and palate go numb.
15. Worry that you poisoned yourself.
16. Rinse your mouth in the sink for a long time.
17. Be amazed that your daughter appears to be fine the rest of the day.
18. Wonder again if you are a bad parent.
20. Write a blog post about it.