Sunday, February 15, 2009

Hear Ye Hear Ye

I hereby release all SafeWay checkers from their responsibility to attempt to say my last name when I go through their line.

This applies to people who attempt to disguise their uncertainty about my name's pronunciation by slurring it while dropping their voice and turning away... like so... "Thank you, Mr. Mikulphruggig."

This applies, likewise, to the people who boldly pronounce a mutilated version of name, making certain to catch my eye and dare me to correct them... like so... "Thank you, Mr. Mike-Al-Ay-Toast. Did I say that right?"

This also applies to those who look at the receipt, see my name and say, "Thank you, Mr.... how do you say your name?" STOP ASKING! OBVIOUSLY I DON'T KNOW! It's Greek for crying out loud, and I am an American. Your guess is as good as mine.

In conclusion, from now on feel free to call me "Mr. Matt" or "Mr. Mik" or even to say, "Thank you, sir."

Sincerely,

Mr. Mikellangelottos