Monday, September 15, 2008

News From My Neighborhood

I'll have the frog's legs, waiter, but hold the frog's legs. The neighbor's kitten is growing up and prowling our backyard for snacks. I scared her off today to see what she was eating and discovered two frog's legs, crossed neatly like a fork and knife on a plate. Krista says this is proof that cats never need to be fed. I say it's proof that animals do not consider members of other species to be cute. Frogs are cute. Kittens are cute. But you put them together and someone is going to end up dead. Sometimes it's the frog, sometimes it's the kitten. Usually the frog, though.

Matt Vs. The Barf Fairy. The Barf Fairy visited our family this weekend, starting with an explosion of mango and yogurt from A. Within about five hours my stomach hurt, but I was determined to defeat the flittering little trouble-maker. This morning I could barely get out of bed, but I ate the traditional Honey Nut Cheerios breakfast in pure defiance. Followed by some more time in bed, working on our newsletter. Then I ate some toast. Tonight I was feeling well enough to make some homemade pizza. Tomorrow I'll either feel great or terrible. No middle ground for me!

But The Cat Came Back. Yesterday it looked like she was prowling after the kids. In fact, at one point, A started yelling at me to keep the cat away, because she thought it was going to attack her. It thinks it's a tiger or something. If it had another hundred pounds or so of weight there could be some real problems in this neighborhood.

I Gave You Life... I Can Take It Back Again. Our neighbor to the southwest spent a lot of time destroying his front lawn, cultivating the dirt and re-seeding the grass... only to fail to water it now that it's hot out. He's like a mad scientist, toying with life. He must be stopped.

The Plague of Grasshopper(s). I discovered a grasshopper in our house, happily perched on our walls which are painted "celery ice" green. I snagged it and threw it outside. I showed it to Z and she said, "Oh, I saw that go inside last night." Now I see another one (the same one?) on the wall again. Could it be another nemesis for me? As if Mad Scientist, Miniature Tiger and Houdini Dog are not enough! Can I be expected to add a Grasshopper to my Rogue's Gallery? And how will it contribute to the Mystery of the Squeaky Attic?

In Other News. No sign of Houdini Dog. He may have escaped for good this time. I shake my fist at you, Houdini Dog!