Friday, September 26, 2008

My Own Worst Enemy

For several days I've had a new night guard. I don't like it very much, but it's important to wear it.

The problem is that while I'm sleeping I take it out and put it away. Without waking up.

This has happened twice now. The first time I actually put it away in the case. Last night I kept waking up and looking for it, but I couldn't find it. I finally found it after I got up this morning, randomly placed on the bed. It was like sleeping with a pair of teeth wandering the bed.

I've tried to talk to myself about this, but the conversation is difficult.

Awake Matt: Sleeping Matt, you have to stop taking our night guard out. I will do that when we wake up.

Sleeping Matt: Zzzzzzzzz.

AM: Don't give me back talk. You need to agree to this.

SM: Zzzzzzz. Snort.

AM: If you don't listen to me I'm going to have to wake you up.

SM: Zzzzzzz? Muhnuh grabble zif. Zzzzzzzz.

AM: Wake up. HEY! WAKE UP!

AM: Oh. Um. Now you're awake. Which means you're Awake Matt instead of Sleeping Matt. So... don't take that night guard out anymore. Okay, I won't. I mean, I'll try. Oh brother.